It's official.
Worst. Birthday. Ever.
But if you think it can't get any worse, just wait, because this evening is far from over and the encounter I've just witnessed between Jake and Kendra was only the tip of the iceberg. Everything, and I do mean everything, was about to go wrong.
"What the hell is going on?" I demanded, too angry to walk away but not angry enough to start beating them. Not yet anyways.
What an odd sensation, to be standing in front of my supposed 'boyfriend' – catching him in the act of cheating with the completion to our triangle – but feeling nothing. I can't say that I'm surprised, especially after the way Kendra was behaving at breakfast this morning, but to be here while it was happening was a liminal experience that left my body feeling tingly as though instead of blood, my veins carried static. What an odd sensation indeed.
And insulting as hell.
"Shit, Sadie." Someone mumbled, I wasn't sure who said it only that it had been spoken by one of the owners to the knot of limbs still tangled on the bed. The atmosphere of the room plummeted drastically and two naked figures turned to look at me, and let's just say the sight wasn't pretty.
I whirled away from them, covering my eyes in the process although the damage was already done. What sat on that bed was now permanently seared into my brain and would buffer my nightmares for years to come.
The bed springs whined as someone stood and clothes rustled furiously as the culprits rushed to cover themselves.
"Sadie, what are you doing here?" I heard Jake question, hair ruffled and chest glistening with a fine layer of sweat. Looks like he was enjoying himself, too bad I ruined it huh? Now dressed in a loose pair of sweatpants, he wandered closer with unfamiliar concern on his face, "Please just let me explain-"
"For the love of god, please don't explain." I said, unleashing glares upon him and the broad now using the sheet to cover herself from where she remained on the bed looking like a fish out of water. Could she honestly be so moronic to think it was a good idea to screw Jake only a few hours after I interrogated her about whether they were having an affair?
Jake took a step closer, hands raised as though confronting a rabid animal, "This isn't what it looks like-"
"Are you kidding me? Spare me the typical fuckboy explanation because it is exactly what it looks like, dipshit." I fired back at him, relatively appalled that he'd try to explain his way out of this with pretentious lies and false justifications. He must think quite low of me if he thought I'd buy any of his bullshit.
When he saw the tears in my eyes, he assumed they were because I caught him cheating. I only came here for him to give me level headed advice on how to stop my father from making the biggest mistake of his life. Now here I am, face to face with a problem I couldn't see coming from a thousand miles away.
Or maybe I did see it coming. Corinth told me from the beginning that Jake was cheating and even before that, there were doubts. Unfortunately, such doubts were woven so deeply into a rash desire for it not to be true that I ignored the signs and turned a blind eye. I could have saved myself a lot of time and effort if I had just listened to my instincts.
But that didn't change anything right now.
Jake reached for me, "Oh babe, please don't cry-"
"Don't you dare touch me, you pig." I ordered, ripping my arms out of his reach. How dare he try to downplay the severity of this situation, and how dare he try to touch me with those deceptive and treacherous hands.
For what it's worth, he seemed pretty much unraveled, "Please just let me explain-"
"How long has this been going on?
His gaze dropped, finding a particularly interesting sport on the floor near his feet to direct his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at me, "A while."
Kendra scooted across the bed, holding the sheet against her though it left very little to the imagination, "Don't blame him, this was all my fault-"
"You're damn right this is your fault." I shouted back at her, blazing fury leaking into my tone when I saw her sitting there. Just the sight of her long hair now mused into snags that sat heavily atop her head like a rats nest, had my temper rising, "I asked you, I gave you the chance to tell me about this. You looked me in the eye and said there was nothing going on!"
Mouth sputtered open for a response that evaded her, resulting in fragments of sentences that held no integrity, "I know and I'm sorry ... we just ... it was an accident and then-"
"Stop talking, Kendra." I told her, not even recognizing my own voice when I spoke due to such immense levels of anger.
Jake flinched at that anger but didn't comment on it. I returned my scowl to him, motioning him to continue his ridiculous attempt at conserving this conversation.
"It was only ..." He stumbled on the words, "It was only little stuff for a long time, I swear. But then you went missing and I was so broken up about it, and Kendra came over just to see how I was doing and one thing led to another-"
"Whoa, wait." Dizzying revelations struck me down with all the force of a bolt of lightning. My head was so light that I swayed on my feet, "You're saying ... that you two had sex a day after I went missing?!"
It shouldn't shock me, really it shouldn't. But it still hurt. Because I stayed loyal to Jake for months. And when I developed feelings for Dustin, I tortured myself by pretending they didn't exist. I suffered, on my own, because I was promised to someone else. But that someone else had been in his room, fucking his brains out from the day after I went missing. I put in so much cruel effort to stay loyal to someone who didn't deserve it.
Jake's face fell at his mistake.
Kendra tightened the sheet around her and stood from the bed, "Sadie, please-"
"I do not want to talk to you." I practically screamed and the sheer fury in that sentence was enough to send her stumbling backwards. Reflexively, Jake stepped sideways, as if to protect her from my rage. Yet another blow to my heart. I laughed at him out of spite, "Oh. So you're protecting her now, huh?"
He swallowed nervously, "No, I just don't want you to blame her. It was my fault and-"
"Trust me Jake, I know it was your fault." I responded, "But it was her fault too. Don't act like either of you are innocent because you both went behind my back and cheated, and then lied to my face about it day after day! You are an asshole and she is a slut, that is the truth."
Jake's lips twitched, "Don't say that. I deserve it but Kendra is your friend."
"My friend? My friend?!" Has he always been this dumb, "You cheated on me with that so called 'friend'. If she was a real friend, she would have kept her legs closed." Kendra whimpered from where she sat on the bed, dabbing at her eye. She was crying? She was fucking crying, trying to play the victim? Her tears only heightened my anger and I pointed a stern finger in her direction, "Then again, we both know you've never had a talent for keeping your legs together, isn't that right Kendra?"
"Stop it!" Jake ordered, foolishly believing that blocking her from my view would shield her from the realities behind my words.
How adorable.
Kendra's shaking voice wandered from where she hid behind Jake's figure, "Those were just rumors ... I never slept with any of those guys."
"You're right. So I guess when I walked in on you fucking Jessica's boyfriend after her pool party last year was just a mistake, right?" I leaned to the side so I could see her clearly and threw her a smile I learned from Lumiere himself, "Maybe he was trying to stick it in your mouth and got lost?"
Jake lurched forward, bumping into me with his chest, "Leave her alone, Sadie."
I laughed at his attempt to intimidate. Dustin could kill him a mere look and if he were here right now, Jake would already be on the floor for that display of aggression towards me. I've seen what true strength can do to a person, I've seen how the devil operates under anger. What Jake was revealing was nothing more than fear from being caught. He didn't feel shame for his actions, he felt shame because he thought he'd get away with it.
"Aw does that hurt your feelings? Well maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to cheat on me with the school whore." I felt my smile mangled with disgust, bearing that same twisted depravity flaunted by the beast of my nightmares, "If you're going to cheat, why not chose a girl who hasn't slept with half of the graduating class? Then again, she's probably all you could get."
My words must have struck a chord. I saw his eyebrows dip low and his lips purse in blinded rage. But I didn't see Jake's hand until the center of his palm clapped loudly against my cheek, skin colliding against skin and snapping my head sideways. I stumbled to the right, my hip digging sharply into the corner of his dresser while fire crackled across my face, originating from where the brute of his hit connected then spreading outwards until I felt nothing but that friction. I had to bite my tongue to keep from crying out at the abrupt pain, hot tears gathering at the corners of my eyes with the threat of spilling over.
But I held them back. I refused to cry. Not here, not now.
Kendra gasped at the assault, her hands covering her mouth in shock at what Jake had just done. My fingers rose up to my cheek, it was warm and bumpy from abrasion and friction. Slowly, my head turned back to face him, clearly blanched at the brass of such a violent action.
Jake's eyes were wider than before and the color drained from his face when he saw the glare in my gaze, "Sadie ... I didn't mean to-"
Yeah. Right.
If he wants to play rough then let's play rough. Slapping is for cowards. I curled my hand into a fist and punched the living shit out of his pretty little face.
He clearly didn't expect me to retaliate so aggressively. My knuckles made solid contact with his nose, cracking it to the side as blood gushed almost instantly from where my punch left his face broken and stained crimson. Jake tumbled onto the floor, holding two hands to his face while blood pooled in his hands then spilled over. Kendra screamed at the sight and dropped down beside him, using the sheet that had been covering her body to catch the blood slipping through Jake's fingers.
Watching that blood spread across the sheet revealed that coming over here was a mistake, not because I caught my two longest 'friends' cheating on me but because I erroneously thought Jake was the one I needed to talk to. He has always been the one I fallback on in times of distress; whenever my father became too overbearing, whenever Toby's condition left me feeling hopeless. Jake stood by my side through it all.
But those were problems of my past and like my past, those problems were not just memories. Someone else occupied my present, someone else far more important. Jake wasn't my rock anymore, now only a pebble in my path. I know who I need right now, and it sure as hell isn't the couple sprawled across the floor covered in scarlet betrayal.
"I think that makes us even." I spit out, hissing sharply when the movement of my cheek sparked further pain. There would be a small bruise tomorrow but what I felt was trivial compared to the pain gurgling from Jake's throat as he cried into the bed sheet, splashing the blood into his eyes with his stuttering breaths.
Kendra looked up at me, her eyes glistening, "You're a monster."
I laughed, a genuine and freeing laugh which dulled the fire in my cheek and awoke buried strength that has laid dormant inside of me since I woke up in the hospital two weeks ago. Kendra shied away from that laughter, because she didn't understand. But I did, and I savored that laugh, "Takes one to know one, sweetheart."
Without another word, without another moment wasted on these two, I turned and slammed the door behind me, making a quick escape through the house and leaving the lovebirds to confront their own faults.
With distance growing between me and that house I felt a mighty weight lift from my shoulders, rising from my body and scattering into the fading sunlight. Left in its wake was an absence of regret and guilt, no longer binding me, no longer harassing me with thoughts of what could have been if things were different. Inner peace entered with each breath I took, as though the air itself was laced with poison. But poison of a different sort, revitalizing poison that seemed to be granted from the universe. Those breaths sunk deep, entering my lungs and giving life to me in a ways I hadn't known I've been missing for so long.
Life that I recognized not as my own, but someone else's.
In that moment, I felt her. I felt my mom, as though she were standing right next to me. I looked up into the sky now dyed light pinks and burnt oranges from the setting sun that took with it the boldness of day and left soft pastels like paint across the sky. In those quiet hues, I saw my mother. I saw her smile and her joy and her hope, congratulating me for finally leaving the last part of my past behind. I could feel her pride for overcoming my hardships and somewhere, wherever she is, I knew she was weeping in delight.
When she left me, I was a child. Scared of my father, scared for my brother, scared by a world where I didn't know what to expect. Now, I was grown. I despised my father, I rejoiced for my brother, and I looked at the world with no fear for the uncertain because that's what life is. Uncertain. I can't run from it, I can't hide from it, and I can't handcuff it to a pipe in the hopes that it'll stay there forever.
Life is meant to be embraced, the sweet and the sour. What happens from here is mine to control, to manipulate and embody.
That lifted weight and alluring revelation coerced salty tears from my eyes, both from sorrow and uncredited cheer. I lifted my face to the sun, basking in its final rays of warmth before it set below the horizon. Upon my cheeks, the sun dried my tears, upon my closed eyes, it left kisses of a promising tomorrow.
Now dusk invaded the land and a breezed of feathered chill hung around me, as though following my footsteps with intent of capture. But I made it home before goosebumps broke out on my skin, cold from the air but sweating from engrossed panic. I wasted too much time at Jake's, now I wasn't sure if my warning would do any good.
Time ticked on without prudence towards my ambition which meant I hadn't the luxury of developing a plan. My father was set on destroying Dustin in the hopes of using his incarceration as a promotion, and every second in which Dustin didn't know of these plans was another second the imminent danger grew. I couldn't stop, couldn't think. I could only act.
I burst through the front door and made way for the stairs, ignoring Toby who sat in the living room calling my name as I passed. I took the stairs two at a time then slammed the door to my room shut, forgetting to lock it in my haste. Mind still in a daze and limbs moving from memory, I dialed Dustin's number while pacing my room, back and forth, waiting – praying – for him to answer. But the line rang endlessly, then dropped the call without going to a voicemail. I dialed the number again, still no answer.
But I couldn't give up. Because if I put this phone down, that meant I was giving up on Dustin and the very thought made my stomach churn. I paced the room faster, unintentionally heightening my nausea, all the while dialing again and again. He'd pick up eventually, he had to.
And if he didn't, I'll just keep calling. All night, until my fingers were sore if that's what it took. If he hasn't answered by morning, then I'll walk down the coast until I find the compound and I'll tell him myself. One way or another, Dustin will know of my father's scheme
Luckily, drastic measures were avoided. After the seventh time of me dialing his number, finally the call picked up.
And that deep voice answered, "Whoever this is, you better have a damn good reason to be calling me-"
"Dustin, I need you to listen very closely." I rushed out, gasping through sudden breathlessness brought on by relief of hearing his voice. I missed this voice so much, the timbre of it setting a roaring blaze to my nerves as they convulsed in excitement at hearing him speak. I had to swallow to bury those feelings below my terror, "My father is planning to arrest you. I don't know what kind of evidence he has but he's going to use it convict you of my kidnapping. I told him that I won't testify but he's going to tell the court I gave up your name. I don't know what to do to stop this, I need you to tell me what to do-"
"Whoa Sadie, I can't understand you." Dustin responded calmly but backed by controlled alarm. The serenity in his words, the will of tranquility, seeped into me with every syllable he pronounced, "Tell me again, slower. What's going on?"
I took a minute to compose myself, waiting for my teeth to stop chattering from nerves before I continued so my words wouldn't come out trembling. I told him again, slower this time though I picked up speed the longer I spoke. My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and soon I found that those thoughts were slipping free before I had time to stop them, "And I didn't know what to do so I went to talk to Jake but he was too busy having sex with Kendra and when I confronted them about it, he hit me so it took forever to get back to my house to call you. I'm sorry it took me so long, if I had known going over there would waste so much time I wouldn't have-"
"Stop. Who hit you?" Even from where I stood hundreds of miles away, I felt the earth rumble with Dustin King's fury. Feral and savage, splitting through the sky, cracking mountains and raising tsunamis in the wake of his unparalleled wrath. I didn't recognize his voice when he spoke again, inhuman and demonic, craving retribution and lost to the call of his cursed anger, "I want a name, Sadie. Right now."
My heart skipped at his protective nature. It didn't matter that Jake and Kendra cheated, it didn't matter that after all these years they threw me away like yesterday's trash. It didn't matter, because I had something better.
I had someone better.
I breathed in to answer but my door unexpectedly flew open, hinges squealing in protest of the force. My father entered the room with narrowed eyes on the phone pressed against my ear, mid conversation and delirious with apprehension, "Who are you talking to?"
Dustin grunted in outrage, "Is that your father? Was he the one who hit you?"
"I'm talking to Jake." I lied to my dad, now holding the phone to my neck to minimize what my father might hear.
"Don't you dare lie to me, young lady." My father barked back, reaching for the phone while he crossed the room in rapid advance.
I threw myself backwards, jerking the phone away from him, "Stop, I already told you-"
"Give me the phone, Sadie." My father demanded, his authoritative orders stimulating some primal desire within to obey my superior even though he didn't deserve the title. But if my father discovered I was talking to Dustin, that would only further solidify his case by proving my acquaintance with the Tribe's newly appointed leader.
In order to protect him, I ended the call and chucked the phone across the room where it splintered against the far wall. I told Dustin everything he needed to know, now it was up to him to stop my father from this ridiculous vendetta. I had faith in Dustin, he'd find a way.
My father's jaw locked and his eyes bulged at my defiance, "Tell me who you were talking to."
"I already did."
My father's lips pressed firm, "Oh really? Because I just got a phone call from Kendra. Something about having to take Jake to the hospital because you broke his nose."
I didn't put much effort into faking sorrow when I said through a grin, "It was an accident."
"You're lucky the policeman who filed the report is a friend of mine. He called me before officially documenting the account." My father's hands were in fists and his teeth clenched without conscious attempt of doing so, "I managed to get the charges dropped." When I didn't say anything, he added, "I believe a little gratitude is in order."
My eyes rolled, "We both know you didn't do it for me. My credibility as a witness drops significantly if I get imputed with assault charges. You swept them under the rug to keep your case for Dustin's conviction in tact."
"Your attitude stops here." My father answered, ignoring my accusations with stunning ease, "The next time something like this happens-"
"What? You'll let them arrest me?" I challenged.
He snatched my jaw between his fingers, prodding his fingers deep into my cheeks while my already sore muscles whined under the pressure. His upper lip curled back when he grumbled, "You'll be lucky if that's all I let them do."
Then he threw my face away from him with enough force that my body moved with the momentum, hurling me towards my bed. My father watched me land roughly against the headboard before he stalked towards the door, calling out without looking at me, "You're grounded, by the way. I don't expect to see you at dinner."
Somehow, he managed to slam my door louder than I did.
I hated that man, I loathed that man.
Still, I couldn't feel too sorry for myself because despite how monstrous my father may be, it could be much worse. Lumiere's father tried to kill him, Eli's father sold him off for pennies on the dollar, and Dustin's father ... that man strapped down a five year old to forcibly tattoo him. That man abused Dustin for years, emotionally and physically, and would sooner roll over in his grave before showing any remorse for his actions.
My father was bad but he could be worse.
That's the only thought that trailed through my mind on repeat, for hours, like a broken record in constant reminder of what I once managed to escape and what I now never would. But nothing could be done about that. My father was cruel, but he still provided a roof over my head and food on the table. On my own, I wouldn't last a day.
Turning eighteen certainly held benefits, but nothing hurt more than knowing I had to freedom to leave yet still I have to stay.
The night carried on, dark became darker and cold became colder. I sat in my room, holding a pillow to my chest while waiting for evading sleep. An hour passed by, maybe two. The silence turned to white noise, static in my ears that became so overwhelming I had to hum to myself to keep sanity from departing.
Thankfully sleep eventually came, not easily mind you, but at least in unconsciousness I could pretend my life wasn't a complete waste of energy and space. The beast didn't appear during my rest to kick me while I was down, which left my my dreams empty but still somehow cold. Remnants of the skeleton's presence, a guarantee of his return but also a blessing at his current absence.
However, through my sleep, my consciousness persisted and soon my eyes cracked open once more to the distinct sound of footsteps along wood. They were close and heavy, as thought the person were dragging their feet. A moment later, I realized that the footsteps came from inside my room.
I sat up in a rush, rubbing at my eyes while simultaneously combing through my hair with my fingers, trying to fix myself in the case that Toby wandered in to check on me.
I glanced around the area, finding that indeed a visitor was here, but not my brother.
This visitor stood near my now open window, his appearance thrown into shadow by the moonlight silhouetting him from behind. But even in pitch darkness I would have recognized this man. His hair so dark that it became one with the night, his eyes so blue that they glowed with violet radiance. Wide shoulders and muscular arms, tall and brooding like always. Even his footsteps became familiar as he stepped farther into the room, taking in his surroundings for danger.
Always cautious.
Then his gaze landed on me, sitting up in my bed, watching him. We both froze, seeing each other for the first time in weeks. Slowly, so incredibly slow as not to frighten him, I reached for the lamp beside my bed without looking away. When dull light illuminated the room, animating his features and casting his body into a dim glow, I heard myself inhale sharply.
It was him.
It was Dustin.
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Okay, let me explain. This chapter was originally 14 pages long and that was just too much, so I split it into two chapters and then had to re-edit everything. So I'm suuuuuuper sorry but guess what ... no, seriously, guess ... fine, I'll just tell you. This means an early update next week!! So be on the lookout ;)
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Thanks again my darlings!
xoxo