Request- Hiya, could you write an imagine kinda based off the song 'I hate you, I love you' by gnash with stiles as I think it would fit with the Lydia situation and how the reader could feel :)
A/N- So this got really dark. It took a different than I originally wanted, but I hope you guys like it. Get ready to cry.
"Theo," you breathed, hopping out of your car and slamming the door. "What happened? Where's Stiles?"
The omega was leaning against the side of his truck and as you walked toward him in the darkness, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of uneasiness. Part of you knew something wasn't right about this, but when he had called you saying that Stiles was hurt outside the school and that you needed to come quickly, how could you say no?
The dark-haired spaz had been your best friend since elementary school, even more so than Scott. You shared everything with each other: food, secrets, feelings...but there was one thing you weren't sure you would ever be able to admit. You spent so much time with Stiles that you couldn't help but fall in love with his amazing sense of humor and his caring personality. Just a few months into your sophomore year, nights spent watching Star Wars turned into nights researching and running for your life. Almost dying had put your feelings in perspective, but it had also done the same with Stiles', and it was clear that while he was your everything, Lydia was his.
He hadn't even told you about what had happened with Donovan and it was obvious that the pack wasn't the only thing growing apart. He had seemed to be growing farther and farther away since he had been possessed, leaving you behind for Lydia or Malia. It made you realize just how much you needed him, just how much you loved him, and just how much you hated it. You knew you would never be Lydia, yet when Theo called to tell you Stiles had been hurt in the school parking lot, you still came running.
Theo was quiet as he stared at you thoughtfully. "The ambulance took him away a few minutes ago. He's headed to the hospital."
"Wh...what?" you nearly choked. "What happened?"
"The Dread Doctors," he explained, shaking his head. "I guess they were looking for Lydia, and when Stiles texted everyone asking if they had seen her, I told him she was in the library the last time I saw her."
You blinked. "He didn't text me."
"He didn't?" Theo asked, looking visibly shocked. "Oh..."
"Is Lydia okay?" you asked him.
"She wasn't here," Theo told you with a shrug. "But I'm sure she's fine, Y/n."
"And Stiles?" you questioned. "How bad is he? Was he still conscious?"
"There was a lot of blood," Theo admitted. "And he was barely awake, but he just kept asking about Lydia, so he can't be that bad, right?"
"Right," you said, swallowing thickly. "I...I have to follow him to the hospital. I can't let him go alone."
"Wait, Y/n," Theo told you gently. "Let me take you."
"Why?" you asked. "I have a car-"
"You're too upset to drive," he observed, nodding down at your shaking hands. "Let me take you."
You looked down at your hands, which were trembling at the thought of Stiles dying. You had almost lost him once, and when he began to pull away, it seemed like you were losing him all over again. Now it seemed like it might actually happen.
"Okay," you said, nodding quickly. "Should-should we call Scott?"
"I'll do it in the truck, but Y/n, we have to go," Theo pressed.
You nodded quickly, following him over to the huge vehicle. You were slightly shaking as Theo helped you inside, unable to get the image of Stiles covered in blood out of your head. What if he died on the way to the hospital? What if you never got to say goodbye?
You barely even noticed as Theo shut the door and went around the other side, but when he hopped inside and simply sat there, you finally realized something was wrong.
"What are you doing?" you asked. "Start the car."
Theo smirked at you, and reached forward to lock the doors of the truck. A twinge of panic ran through you at the sight of his cold smile and that was when you realized that you had been played. For someone who claimed that they had been close to Stiles while he was bleeding out, Theo didn't have a speck of red on him.
It suddenly crossed your mind that you should have been asking more questions. Theo hadn't said where the Dread Doctors had suddenly gone or even if Lydia was okay. If the ambulance had left a few minutes before you arrived, then why hadn't you seen one? You had gone right past the hospital hadn't you?
You darted for the door, but Theo was quick to grab your arm and yank you back. He wrapped an arm around your waist as you struggled to get out of the small cab of the truck, knowing you weren't going to get away.
"What did you do?" you spat. "What did you do to them?"
"To Stiles?" Theo breathed. "Nothing. And I'm not going to, unless he decides to help Scott and Lydia. But I know that idiot is the one you really care about."
"That isn't true," you breathed, scratching at the arms that trapped you. "I care about them."
"But you don't love them the way you love Stiles," he pointed out. "And they don't even know do they? Especially not Lydia or Malia."
"Shut up," you spat, bringing your elbow back and slamming it into his nose.
He cried out as you heard a crunch, and while he jerked backward, you took the opportunity to flip up the lock and jump out of his truck. In your haste, you ended up spilling out onto the asphalt of the parking lot, but you quickly shoved yourself to your feet.
"Fine," Theo grunted as he jumped out of the truck after you. "I had a different plan, but I guess I'll kill you here."
You ran toward your car, palms slamming into the metal just before you felt Theo's claws sinking into your skin. You cried out in pain as he flipped you around and slammed you into the door, hand tangling in your hair and yanking your head back.
"You wanna play the hero?" he asked. "Well, newsflash, Y/n, heroes die."
He dug his claws into your cheek, smirking as you squirmed.
"You can't save your friends," he continued. "You can't save Stiles, and you're not ruining my plan."
At the mention of Stiles, you felt rage course through you. He might not have returned your feelings, but he was still your best friend, and you would be damned if anyone hurt him. You spit in Theo's eyes, causing him to recoil in disgust, but before you could move, he grabbed your by the hair and slammed your head into the side of the car.
Your vision blurred as your head connected with the metal and soon you were on the ground, pinned down by Theo's arms. You winced involuntarily as he ran his claws across your cheek and he chuckled.
"Why?" you demanded. "You're working with them, but why?"
"I need a pack," he informed you. "I wasn't lying when I told that to Scott, but I don't need him to get one. After he's dead, Lydia, Malia, Liam...they'll all be mine."
"You're batshit crazy if you think they'll ever follow you," you spat.
"Well, we'll see about that," he told you. "But for now, you're going to help me with something."
"Yeah, ri-" you cut yourself off with a gasp as Theo closed his hand around your throat.
"Stiles can't help Scott," Theo explained. "And now he's going to have to choose between saving Scott, his dad...and now you."
"The sheriff..." you choked, unable to finish your sentence.
"He's going to find you bloody and broken," Theo mused. "And maybe if you're lucky, he'll get to you before you die."
As Theo spoke those last few words, you knew you were a goner. You might have been Stiles' best friend, but his father was the only family he had. Even then, there was still Scott to save. No matter what Theo did to you, you told yourself it was worth it if Stiles got to save the two people he cared about most, and sadly, you weren't one of them.
"Okay, but all I'm saying is that he's like, 90," Stiles was protesting as you walked through the dark parking lot. "I could totally take him.
"He's a trained hunter," you told him pointedly.
"And?"
"And?" you repeated. "And I'd love to see you challenge the veteran hunter to a fight."
"Are you saying I could take him?" Stiles asked with a grin.
"No, I'm saying I'm looking forward to him knocking your teeth out," you said, before thinking better of it. "Nah, nevermind. I'd just have to help you pick them up afterward.
"Yeah, cause you love me," Stiles told you with a smirk.
"W-what?" you choked.
"You love me," he stated. "I'm your best friend, and you love me too much to let me get my ass kicked by some geriatric hunter."
"Exactly," you stated. "So can we please just do this thing before we get busted for breaking and entering?"
Stiles shrugged. "It's never stopped us bef-oh my god. Is that Lydia?"
You blinked in the darkness, following Stiles' gaze to a parked car sitting in front of the school. There were tons of cars in the parking lot, but this one was probably the only one not vacant, and as Stiles had pointed out, Lydia was sitting inside it.
You felt a pang of jealousy as you watched him hurry over to the strawberry blonde, and you stood there awkwardly as he tapped on the glass.
"Lydia, come on," he begged. "Just open the window."
"Just...just go away" you heard her say as she wiped away the mascara from under her eyes.
"Lydia, please," he said.
"Why?" she asked softly. "You shouldn't be here. I don't need anyone seeing me cry."
Stiles swallowed, and you saw the obvious infatuation in his eyes. It was enough to send a bitter wave of jealousy through you and you instantly felt guilty.
"Well, I think you look really beautiful when you cry," you heard him say.
Lydia swallowed, and you saw her look over at you from the car. "Don't you have something you should be doing?"
Stiles blinked and looked back at you, clutching Gerard's keys in your hand. He frowned and raised his eyebrows at you, silently asking the question you knew you were going to say yes to.
"Go ahead," you told him. "I can find it on my own."
Stiles smiled at you. "Thanks."
You nodded curtly and headed into the school, all the while fighting jealous tears. You knew it was wrong to be upset, because Stiles was your best friend, but you couldn't help your feelings. He had been obsessed with Lydia since you were kids, and now it appeared he was finally achieving his dream of getting to be with her. Sure, it was a small start, but now he had his foot in the door. He was finally on her radar, as he would have said.
You walked into the school, slipping into the darkened hall with a bitter, heavy feeling in your chest. You were on your own because you were helping your best friend and it was obvious he would never be anything more.
You drifted in and out of consciousness as you lay on the concrete, blood staining the cement underneath you. Your mind kept flitting back and forth between the present and the memories swirling in your mind, and you found yourself thinking more of Stiles than anything else. You didn't know how long you lay there, waiting to die, before you heard a distant pinging sound. You realized your phone was somewhere on the concrete a few feet away from you, and you weakly crawled toward it.
Reaching out with trembling fingers, you snatched it up and tried to focus on the message. Your breath caught in your throat as you realized it was Stiles.
Y/n, please tell me you're okay, it read. I was right about Theo and now he's telling me that you and my dad are in trouble. I don't know if I can trust him. Please please tell me you're okay.
In the depot parking lot of the Sheriff's station, Stiles stood staring down at the phone in his hand. He would have had a white-knuckled grip on it, if not for the fact that his were stained red with Theo's blood. The minute the omega had admitted what he had done, Stiles had tried to knock his teeth in. According to him, you were bleeding out somewhere but so was his dad, and if Stiles went to save either of you, Scott was going to die too.
Stiles didn't understand how Theo could have been all of these places at once, unless he had had help. Theo was a liar and he had proven it, but Stiles wasn't willing to risk losing his best friend. If he was being honest, you were a little more to him now, and after being with Malia and talking things out with Lydia one night during their brief break from the supernatural, he had realized that you had been there all of his life.
He missed you by his side, sitting in the passenger seat of his jeep, and falling asleep on his shoulder after movie marathons. He missed the way you would give him advice about Lydia, even though you personally didn't believe his infatuation was good for him. You had never turned your back on him once, and Stiles couldn't live without you in his life. That was why he had pulled away from you in the past few months, because he was terrified that if he admitted how he'd felt, you'd never want to talk to him again. He wasn't willing to lose you over that.
"She's not going to answer, Stiles," Theo told him. "She's probably unconscious by now from all the blood loss."
"Shut up!" Stiles screamed, the phone shaking in his trembling hands. "How do I know I can trust anything you say?!"
Theo shrugged. "You don't. But it's your call Stiles. Your best friend, your father, or the girl you just realized you love?"
Stiles shook his head bitterly, looking down at the screen in his hands. He willed you to answer, to assure him that he would still have time to live the rest of his life with you. Finally the phone buzzed in his hands and his vision almost went white with relief. It was you.
I'm okay. Don't worry about me.
Stiles sighed, letting out a shaky breath. "You're a goddamn liar, Theo. Now tell me where my dad is."
Theo's brow furrowed, just for a second, but then he smirked. "Good choice, Stilinski."
Back in the parking lot, you felt your breaths becoming shallower. You set your phone down with trembling hands as tears dripped into your eyes. You might have loved Stiles, but you would never make him choose between him and his father.
The minute you got his text, you remembered what Theo had said about making him choose. You didn't know why the chimera was torturing him like this, but you had decided you weren't going to help him play his game. You cared too much to make Stiles pick who to save, so the answer was simple. You chose for him.
As your vision slowly began to fade, you curled up against the cold ground, but not before sending one last text. After the three words you never thought you would say disappeared into the network of pixels and data, you finally let yourself close your eyes.
Stiles stood outside the intensive care unit, running his hand aggressively through his short hair as he tried to stay calm. Liam's stepfather and Melissa had told him that they didn't know what was happening to his father, and that much was obvious as he just lay there in the hospital bed, dying.
This was all Scott's fault, he told himself. The Alpha never should have trusted Theo and Stiles had called his betrayal from the beginning. Why hadn't his best friend believed him?
He shook his head bitterly and looked away from his father. He couldn't stand to see him weak and dying, struggling for life because of something the pack had been involved in. As his gaze moved away from the only family he had left, Stiles found himself focusing on the doors to his left, but he realized someone was walking through them.
He recognized who it was immediately and all hope of finding someone else who could help his dad fell when he saw Scott walking through those doors. Stiles felt a wave of rage wash through him, but before he could shout at his friend, Scott was bursting through the doors, letting out a yell of his own.
"Why the hell haven't you been answering your phone?!" he cried.
Stiles noticed Scott's face was red and splotchy, and still damp from tears that hadn't stopped falling. His brown eyes were broken and empty, but Stiles couldn't push his anger away to ask why.
"Why the hell weren't you there to protect my dad from Theo?" Stiles fired back. "Where were you Scott? Huh?"
"Stiles-" Scott began.
"And FYI, my phone's by the front desk," he snapped. "You can't have them in the ICU, where my dad is, thanks to y-"
"Stiles," Scott repeated, his voice cracking.
"What?" the other boy demanded.
"Y/n," Scott began. "She-she's..."
Stiles felt his blood run cold. "What? Where is she? What happened?"
"She's dead," Scott whispered, closing his eyes bitterly.
"Wh-no," Stiles choked. "No that's...that's not possible. I texted her an hour ago she said...she said she was fine."
Scott shook his head. "We found her outside the school. She was on the ground and...and she was covered in blood. She wasn't...she was dead, Stiles."
"No," Stiles croaked, thinking back to your text.
"What?" Scott asked.
"No!" Stiles cried forcefully. "She texted me. She told me she was okay!"
He stumbled back before turning around and shoving through the pair of double
doors to his right. He practically sprinted toward the front desk and snatched his phone from where he had set it down. He tapped the button so that it lit up, only to find four or five missed calls from Scott. As he scrolled down, he saw those weren't the only messages he had received.
There was message from you, one that he hadn't checked. He let out a choked gasp as he read it, his hands shaking. I'm sorry I chose for you, it read. I love you.
Tears began to run from his eyes as he thought back to earlier. Only then did he
realize that Theo's surprise in the car lot was because you had responded to his text. The chimera probably hadn't expected you to be strong enough to text back. Stiles' stomach churned, horror sending a wave of nausea through him as he realized that he had chosen his father over you.
He realized that you must have known about Theo's plan and, thinking you could save his dad or Scott, you took yourself out of the equation. He let out a choked sob, bitterly thinking that was exactly the type of thing you would do. "He made me choose."
Scott, who had followed him back from the ICU, reached out to place his hand on his friend's shoulder.
"Stiles?" Scott asked "What do you mean he made you choose?"
"Between my dad, you and Y/n," he choked. "And I-I texted Y/n to see if she was fine. She texted back that she was. She lied to me...and I had Theo tell me where my dad was."
"She didn't want you to choose her over us," Scott whispered.
"I thought she was okay," he said softly, more to himself than to Scott. "I didn't-I didn't know."
He let out another heart-wrenching sob, causing several people in the waiting room to look over. But Stiles didn't care about any of them, and as he felt his knees buckle, he let Scott reach out to hold him. The Alpha wrapped his arms around the boy as he sobbed, crying into Scott's blood-stained shirt.
"I never got to tell her," he whispered. "I never got to tell her I loved her."
"I know, dude," Scott said, tears slipping from his own eyes. "I know."
Stiles closed his eyes, hating himself for even letting Scott comfort him. He didn't deserve to be comforted, not after he had let you bleed out in the school parking lot. He didn't know how long he stood there, hunched over in the arms of his best friend as the stench of salty tears and lemon floor-cleaner overpowered him. All he knew was that you were dead because of him and you would never know how much he loved you.
after writing this and re-reading it im in freaking tears my dude