i lov chanbaek
sometimes i wonder. do i ship chanbaek just because chanyeol is my bias and baekhyun is second? is it just because i'm a basic bitch and want my two biases together?
or is it because they real?
and then i remember
of course they love each other irl.
else they wouldn't have all the subtle moments and the loving stares (and no i'm not talking about the .03 second stares that het stans use to claim cy likes wendy or smthing, i'm talking about the one where baek stood still and stared at chanyeol for a good 14 seconds and where chanyeol legit just stared at baekhyun like he was the daesang he was receiving for the night ((in more ways than one okay i'll stop)), and when everyone is looking at who's speaking and baek just stares at chanyeol with these eyes and it lasts longer than three seconds like fam stop being obvious), the subliminal messages (the fucking kissy thing they did right in front of the camera like they think they're so subtle pffffft), the way that baek is literally just so shy around chanyeol like he can slap jongdae's ass but can't stare at chanyeol in the eyes (tho he can stare at him when he's not looking) and just. just the way they talk about each other is beautiful i'm tearing up
I'm obsessed like I'm not even over exaggerating. See all these stories I write? I lov Chanbaek bij
srry for that long a/n jk i'm not sorry
[♤]
"This is a bad idea."
Luhan wasn't necessarily against Baekhyun's idea, but he was definitely not for it. He told Baekhyun not to go once or twice, but he never said it with enough conviction... else they wouldn't be here.
Here, as in at a club that Baekhyun hadn't been at for a long time.
Baekhyun had said something like: "Isn't it boring just drinking at our place all the time? Let's go out."
And Luhan had been incredibly shocked, because for the first year or so of knowing Baekhyun, the guy never wanted to go to clubs and he gave up on trying to convince him all the same. But now, there they were, with Baekhyun sporting the tightest jeans Luhan had seen him wear; a fitting, low-collared black shirt under his zip-up and finally, the simple black choker on his neck.
"Oh come on, we're adults, Luhan. People go partying all the time."
Yeah, but not you, Luhan thought, following behind Baekhyun who was expertly weaving through the crowd as if it was natural to him.
But Luhan figured that Baekhyun needed to let out his feelings somehow, so he simply followed behind Baekhyun, making sure he didn't do anything rash.
The first hour had simply been the two of them sitting at the bar, Baekhyun drinking cup after cup as he laughed at stupid things and said even stupider things.
"Do you want some?" Baekhyun asked, holding out his fifth drink (they weren't so alcoholic, or else Baekhyun would've already been piss-drunk).
"No thanks." He gave Baekhyun a tight smile as his friend just shrugged and took a big gulp.
Luhan stayed sober the first time they went out partying.
And then the second, and then the third, the fourth, and fifth time too.
He made sure Baekhyun didn't do something he would regret because of his broken heart.
Weeks passed by like that, with Baekhyun waking up with hangovers and arriving at his company looking like he only slept three hours—but he was still sane enough to remember that this was now his company, so he pulled himself together for ten hours a day to work on things before visiting the club again at night.
On nights where Luhan didn't accompany him (either he was busy or didn't even know Baekhyun was going) Baekhyun didn't have anyone to stop him from dancing, always ending up on the dancefloor with some random nobody as he pushed himself closer and appreciated the warmth of someone different every night.
He didn't always drink when he was there; sometimes he went just because he didn't feel like being at home. The days where he did drink usually always ended with him grinding up against some dude that eventually pulled him into the bathroom or to some car, hands all over his body and lips against his neck but...
Whenever the nameless faces tried to kiss him, Baekhyun would always push them away, tears springing to his eyes before he stormed off.
It wasn't their faults that Baekhyun pushed them away. Rather, it was Chanyeol's. Whenever he thought about kissing, he would immediately be reminded of the one constantly on his mind—he'd remember how warm, fulfilling, and addicting his kisses felt... And Baekhyun didn't want to forget that. Coupled with the fact that alcohol removed the filter on his emotions, Baekhyun always acted like he was on his man-period whenever anyone tried to kiss him (there was even an instance where a dude tried again even after Baekhyun pushed him away, and the brunet promptly punched him in the face).
He was stupid and an emotional drunk; their relationship ended more than a month ago, but he didn't want to forget what Chanyeol's kisses felt like.
He should've been trying to erase Chanyeol from his life. He hated the prick. The guy broke his heart and yet... Why was his sweater still draped on Baekhyun's couch like he had left it months ago? Why was his toothbrush still in the cup next to Baekhyun's sink? His stupid Rilakumma slippers that Baekhyun always bullied him for; why were they still sitting next to his own equally stupid slippers?
There were traces of Chanyeol everywhere and Baekhyun couldn't find it in himself to get rid of them.
The little memos that Chanyeol left him whenever he visited Baekhyun's lavish office, why were they still scattered on the whiteboard, hung up with magnets that the giant had gotten specifically for his little notes? And why did Baekhyun, knowing that he'd cry every time he did it, read his favourite memo whenever he left the office?
"170909,
Baekhyun's concentrating on his work right now. I asked him out for coffee but he rejected me. His hair is all messy and he kind of looks like he hasn't slept in three years or eaten anything good. I should probably treat him to dinner right about now.
He just looked up at me and he's telling me to get off my flat ass haha
He's absolutely beautiful :)"
Baekhyun remembered that day so clearly, the way that Chanyeol smiled while writing on the little rectangle of paper and the way he, after one full hour of sitting there, stood up and suddenly pulled Baekhyun away from his desk using his rolling chair, easily scooping him up in his arms.
He had told Chanyeol that he missed his noodle arms from back in the day, wanting them back so he could beat Chanyeol's ass. He remembered how Chanyeol chuckled and told him that he knew Baekhyun found it hot that he could easily pick him up, and Baekhyun easily surrendered, clinging onto Chanyeol and telling him, friendly in his ear: "You bet I find it hot."
And then Chanyeol proceeded to kiss him, with Baekhyun's legs wrapped around his waist, Chanyeol's arms under his ass being the only thing keeping him from falling to his supposed death.
He remembered Chanyeol's low chuckle when Baekhyun's hormones betrayed him and he had a problem to fix after only a minute of making out with his—hot as fuck—boyfriend, and he remembered how surprised he was when Chanyeol dropped his legs to the ground, the former falling to his knees unceremoniously. He could still feel the blush on his face to this day, caused by the teasing glint of amusement and lust in Chanyeol's eyes as he undid Baekhyun's belt.
And then, he will never forget the warmth in Chanyeol's smile when they finished up and he, being the idiot he was, actually asked: "Now, will you get some dinner with me? Or do I have to fuck you, too?"
Baekhyun was mortified (that was a lie, he was actually a little turned on) since they had never touched the subject but there Chanyeol was, saying it so out in the open.
He had smacked Chanyeol in the face—
And no.
Baekhyun was never drunk enough to forget.
~
"I knew I'd find you there," Wendy said with a sigh, closing Chanyeol's front door behind her. "You seriously need to get off your couch."
Chanyeol shook his head, focusing back on the TV.
"You've been living on your couch! You go to work, go back home and sit on your couch for the rest of the day! You haven't even been eating right or working out, you're losing the muscles you worked so hard for you fucking dimwit!" Wendy exploded, pulling in the multiple bags of groceries that she had bought, walking angrily to his kitchen as she began to prepare dinner.
She wasn't being overdramatic just "because", she had plenty of reason to be acting this way. Chanyeol was wearing the worst mask in the history of time, telling everyone he was okay and smiling like he was the murderer in classic horror films. He would legitimately go to work, eat a spoon of mashed potatoes and a few fruits, and go home and crash on his couch.
"You have a bed, Chanyeol," Wendy said as she turned on the stove, busying herself as she waited for Chanyeol to respond.
"It smells too much like him."
"I already said I'll wash the damn sheets—"
"Don't."
Wendy stopped, letting out a defeated sigh as her shoulders slumped and she set down the stuff in her hands, going over to Chanyeol and sitting down next to him.
"You can't keep doing this to yourself," she stated.
"I know. But let me keep doing it."
"When are you going to stop, then?"
"I don't know."
"Chanyeol," she chided, fed up with how Chanyeol was treating himself. "You're going to turn into skin and bones. How long has it been already, a month?"
He shrugged and Wendy felt like slamming her head on his coffee table, which had become useless because Chanyeol literally did nothing. He didn't use the PS4 anymore, because it reminded him too much of the time that he and Baekhyun had been playing Rainbow VI Siege and Baekhyun decided to get him back for when Chanyeol had distracted him while he was playing NieR, though this time without the interruption of Wendy. Baekhyun had stood up in front of Chanyeol, climbing on the taller who was sitting on the couch, forcing him to reposition his hands so that Baekhyun could sit in his lap. And then, even if Baekhyun still blushed when Chanyeol made sexual jokes or commented on how good Baekhyun looked, he had begun moving his hips sinuously in his lap, smirking at the younger who's breath was hitching and leaving him all the same.
Chanyeol couldn't keep his self-control in check for more than a minute, a different kind of controller being thrown to the side as he pushed Baekhyun onto his back, grinding his hips into Baekhyun's and feeling rewarded by how Baekhyun moaned unexpectedly loud, covering his face because of how embarrassing the noise had been to him.
He remembered how, on the exact couch he was sitting on, he had placed his hands on the back of Baekhyun's thighs and spread them, pressing and rolling his hips even harder as he smirked when Baekhyun tried to keep his voice quiet but gave himself away, simply with the fact that Chanyeol could feel his thighs quivering even through the material of his sweatpants. It was tantalizing to both of them; how good it felt to press their lips together as Baekhyun now tentatively pressed into Chanyeol too (oh, how the roles reversed).
It was cute, how quickly it took for Baekhyun to throw his head back with a cry of Chanyeol's name. He had shivered under Chanyeol's ministrations and came without Chanyeol even needing to touch his bare skin, thighs clamping around Chanyeol's waist—and the imagery of Baekhyun with his eyes shut, neck flexed and mouth dropped open was enough for Chanyeol to get off.
"I can't do this," Chanyeol said as he stood up from the couch.
"What? What happened?" Wendy asked, standing up right after as she wondered if Chanyeol was planning to do something stupid (ie. jump out of the window).
"I'm going to sleep on the floor."
He couldn't sleep on the couch anymore, not after having reminded himself of what had happened there.
Baekhyun had really left his mark on Chanyeol, and even if it was torturous to have all of these thoughts and feelings without Baekhyun by his side, Chanyeol couldn't find himself to want to forget them.
It had only been one month without Baekhyun but it was in that short amount of time that Chanyeol realized it had always been worth it.
Even if Baekhyun would break his heart—even if he would have to suffer the rest of his life knowing how Baekhyun smiled when he was happy versus when he was teasing, how Baekhyun would pout when he wanted something, how Baekhyun would stare at Chanyeol with those eyes that seemed to hold nothing but love... even if he had to live knowing that Baekhyun wouldn't be his ever again...
He'd keep those memories.
Because Baekhyun was always worth it.
[♤]
yOUR HOE UPDATED AGAIN!!!
Lolol how was this smut-angst-fluff filler??? Smut 10/10?
Y'all excited? Same. Same same same.
I was actually so scared for this part of the book because I knew i'd fuck it up somehow (and news flash, I did!) but it's going okay for now. I hope I don't mess it up even more yeet
Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day and here, I still feel bad for not updating for a full month so I gave y'all a pic of me, my polar bear and Kyungsoo. (p.s find quality shit like this on my rant book someone stop me from swearing)
I love you all, I'm going to sleep now!
P-Nut oot.