I wake up; peer over to read my clock, to find that it's only been three hours. Damn. I really wish it had been longer. I sit up in bed, the memories of what occured only a few hours ago fresh in my mind.
He said he loved me.
Why, of all the times he had the chance, he decided now was the time to tell me? As much as I hate to say it, if he had told me he loved me the day I left, I would have stayed with him. I would still be at home, kissing him, holding him, raising our baby together instead of this co-parenting shit. Why does he have to be such a fuck up?
A light knock on my door pulls me from my thought, and I get up to open it.
"What," I ask, my mood dropping even lower at the sight of Jonah.
"You said to pick you up around seven," He says, scratching the back of his head. "Here." He hands me a boquet of flowers, and I'll admit, it's a nice gesture, but if this is his way of saying sorry, which I know it is, he's gonna have to do a hell of alot better.
"Where is my son?"
"Our son, is downstairs with your dad. He said he'd watch him while we went out," Jonah answers, an edge to his voice, but I can tell he's trying to hold back.
"Give me a reason I should go out with you, Jonah."
"Because, I love you." I glare at him, but sigh. I guess that's good enough.
I slip on my shoes and follow him down to the living room - I look over into the living room, my son and father both fast asleep on the couch.
I smile softly at the display, then follow behind Jonah to the porch. I start to walk down, but Jonah grabs my arm, and pulls me back.
"Rony, I have something to say and if I don't do it now, I never will," He says quickly, "I didn't cheat on you."
"Sure, Jonah." I turn away, but he pulls me back again, this time rougher.
"I'm serious, Rony. That peraon that called me was Jose Driscal. Do you remember him for high school?" The name does ring a few bells, and I quickly remember him as Jonah's best friend. They were always together, and that was usually in detention.
"Why would he call and say what he did?"
"We've been doing that to each other for years. He did it when I was with Colin and I've done it a few times to him." I faintly remember Colin telling me about a joke Jonah did that he never found funny. I guess this was it.
"Jonah, you said that you did cheat on me. Why lie?"
"I'm a moron, Rony. I thought that I could lie and it'd make things somehow better, but all it did was make me lose you and miss out on a portion of my son's life," every word is laced with guilt, " I'm so sorry that I did this to you. You deserve better than me, Rony, but I hope you still want to be with me."
I step closer to him, cupping his face gently, "Just take me out. Then, we can talk." He nods, swallowing thickly.
He takes me to his truck, and opens the passenger side door for me. I get in, Jonah shutting it behind me.
He hops into the truck and starts to play the radio. He looks over to me with a sheepish smile, which I return slightly; I'm still not forgiving him. Yet.
***
To say things took off after dinner is an understatement. While we ate, I could do nothing but watch him make the most simple moves, and those moves in turn making my pants tighter.
We left the resturant and I just pounced on him.
"Jonah, I've missed you so much," I sob, holding onto his clothes and nestling my head into the crook of his neck.
He rubs my back softly, his rough fingertips sending shivers down my spine in the most euphoric way imaginable.
"I've missed you so much, Rony." Jonah takes my chin between his fingers, making our eyes meet - and for that moment I comoletely forget the past. I fall victim to his touch, his voice - everything that makes him who he is.
And I'm not afraid to be his victim tonight.
I connect our lips in a longing kiss, every one of my muscles exploding with flames of passion.
He pulls away, resting his forehead against mine, before speaking to me in a sensual, hushed tone, "We can't do this, Rony."
"Do you not want me anymore, Jonah," I ask, feeling oanic rise up. He shakes hisbhead frantically.
"That's definitely not it, Baby. I want you badly, but I want us to restart and figure each other out before we jump into bed."
Jonah denying sex? Maybe our time apart did change him.
"Is that alright with you," He asks cupping my face affectionately.
"It's perfect, Jonah. Absoluetely perfect." I lean in capturing his lips- and for once, I'm not afraid to let my guard down with him.
***
We drive on the empty road with the windows down, our fingers linked together in the space between us.
"Babe, I've got an idea." A smirk grows on his face and I can already tell we're about to do something that could get us arrested.
I don't think I've ever been more excited.
Jonah pulls over next to a community pool and we hop out of the truck.
"Jonah, what are we about to do?" He comes to me and takes my shirt off swiftly. "Jonah," I whine.
He removes his shirt, and winks my way. He kneels down, and examines the lock, quickly unlocking it.
Our delinquency really is paying off.
Before we enter, Jonah takes my hand, and looks me in the eye, "I love you," He says.
I kiss his mouth and drag him to the edge of the pool.
"Gotta finish getting undressed." Ad he says that, he drops his pants completely - leaving him in all of his naked glory. "Your turn."
I shrug and drop my pants, joining him in nudity.
We lock our hands and jump into tue freezing water! I resurface, Jonah coming right after me with a wide, goofy smile on his face.
"It's cold as fuck," I say, swimming the small distance to wrap my arms around his waist.
"If you kiss me, maybe it'll heat up," He suggest, still smiling widely.
I don't hesitate to kiss him. He pulls my body closer, and runs his tounge across my bottom lip, pleading for entrance.
I grant it, and I suddenly feel the rim of the pool against my back. Jonah kisses along my neck, but pulls away from me with a teasing smirk. I splash water in his face, and he dives under, coming up across on the other end of the pool.
"Screw you," I mumble to myself, unable to take the smile off of my face. I care about this man so much.
I was wrong to throw myself at him like that. I was so used to falling into his arms and just fucking the pain away. It was unhealthy, completely and utterly disastrous for the both of us. Two broken people, with a toxic way of affection has never turned out well.
Maybe we have a chance to fix our broken relationship. And maybe start to fix what's wrong with us.