6. Eyes Open
“Keep your feet ready, heartbeat steady, keep your eyes open.” –Taylor Swift
So many things, so many things rushing through me right now. Bolts, fire, and the thoughts telling me what was wrong with me, why did I do this? I was kissing him, my fiancé, well my fake one, but point is I was kissing Harry Styles. Who the hell does that? What the hell was I expecting from him, to kiss back? Well he already did, but what about after that. What does this make us now?
Nothing! Of course, it was just a drunken kiss and for all I know he probably won’t even remember this in the morning.
I opened my eyes and looked at his face, his eyes were closed, his lips still pressed to mine, and his hands still roaming my body. He looked concentrated, and so, so hot. My eyes widened and I brought my hands to his chest in one quick motion before pushing him off. It was too much for me, I didn’t want to see his face; I didn’t want to talk or think about it. What would he say? Would he laugh at me for doing that? Will he want more from me? I didn’t stick around to find out.
The air hit me like ice when I got outside, I was halfway through putting my jacket on and I could feel unwanted tears in my eyes. I think this was just a part of the hangover, or maybe I’m so nervous that Harry will come after me that it affected my tear ducts. Nevertheless, I couldn’t let him find me, so to my great comfort, when I saw there was a taxi parked across the street, I didn’t take twice to run to it.
I knew my mom would be mad at me for getting home late, but for all I knew she was asleep and probably thought I was still in bed. Somehow I knew if Harry cared about that stupid kiss that would be the first place he’d go look for me. So I took the latter and told the taxi to drop me off in my best friend’s Danny’s house. He was going to hate me for waking him up at three in the morning but I had nowhere else to go, and he was my best friend – right now I needed a lot of moral support.
Danny lived alone in the East end of the town, directly across from where I lived. You could call his too comfy apartment a bachelor’s place but since he was gay he himself named it his bachelorette kingdom, where all the sad single ladies like himself hang out.
I paid the taxi guy the only cash I had in me and grabbed all my belongings, I really hoped Amanda had obeyed to my threats and would deposit the one hundred thousand in my bank account. I didn’t know why I asked for so much, but the lust, the lust for that unhealthy substance made me want more and more. Of course, I wasn’t going to spend it all in drugs, I had a mother to take care off, but I knew at least ten thousand of it would go for my need supply.
The light in the small hallway of Danny’s apartment flickered on and off a couple of times as I walked through it; I pulled my cardigan to cover me up more. I’m guessing the building is going through some renovations because this is never liked this. I stopped in front of Danny’s door and took out my phone, he never answered his doorbell, he claims it’s because he never hears it but I know he’s too lazy to stop watching House Wives of Orange County and standing up to take it, so I got used to calling him instead of ringing or knocking his door.
It took a few rings, but what matters is that he answered.
“I swear if you don’t have a good reason for waking me up this late I am going to strangle you.” He groaned through the phone, I know he meant the threat to sound like a threat but with the sleepiness coating his voice it was all slurs.
I ran a hand through my hair, I must’ve still had alcohol in my body because I would’ve never told Danny about the Harry deal this soon, but I did, and the only thing I said that sent him running to open the door to me was, “I kissed Harry Styles.”
If I would’ve known he would bombard me with questions as soon as he literally dragged me inside I wouldn’t have came here. But in the end, I told him everything, and thank the lord he wasn’t mad at me for keeping it from it. All he cared about was the fact that even if it was fake I was dating one of the ‘hottest guys alive’.
“How was it? Was it good? Did he use tongue? Please tell me he used tongue.” He said in a rush, his hands were on my shoulders and his face exclaimed excitement.
I don’t know why, but his question made me blush; I didn’t want to reply to that, I felt as if that kiss was intimate… I wanted it locked in a box in the most deserted places of my brain. But I couldn’t deny my friend the joy of knowing how good it was.
“It was great, and tingly,” I whispered, looking up at the ceiling with a grin on my face. What is wrong with me, of course it wasn’t good. It was a total mind-fucker. I dropped my gaze to Danny’s eyes and my smile faded. “And wrong, that wasn’t supposed to happen.”
Danny’s hands dropped from my shoulder and he gave me his usual ‘are you serious’ look, “It was going to happen any other way, you guys are fake dating, but even that includes kissing doesn’t it?”
“I guess,” I sighed. “But this kiss was different, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t of kissed like that in front of the public.” No, of course not, I don’t think Harry would even kiss me if it weren’t for our shitty deal. I think that kiss was obviously an act of the alcohol that was hanging around our bloodstreams.
“Drunken minds drunken actions take it as practice, forget it even happened.” He said as he stood up with both our hot chocolate mugs. That’s one thing I loved about Danny, he makes the best hot chocolate ever, even better than Starbucks and that’s a close to like perfect.
“I’m trying to forget it but I just can’t…” I replied, and my fingers touched my lips. I could still feel the soft yet rough touch of his lips on mine. And the tingles, that was the best part. I could feel his hands, his breath, his smell, as if he was here right now.
Okay, this was getting weird now, Harry was seating next to me on the couch, his hands were on my waist as he moved me to sit on his lap, and his lips held a mischievous smile before he sunk them into my neck. My eyes widened, what kind of sick hallucination is this, but… he wouldn’t disappear as much as I tried to open and close my eyes.
“Harry what are you doing?” I meant to ask, but with the way his lips were moving on my neck it came out as a slur.
“Question is, what are you doing Andie? What do you want from me? I kissed you because I was drunk; stop thinking about me… stop thinking about me this way.” He said, and then went back to kissing my neck.
“But you’re the one… kissing me right now.” I mumbled, and he chuckled. His head backed a bit to look at my eyes and he gave me a smirk.
“Because that’s what you want me to do.”
“What?” I said.
“You want to feel that same feeling you got when we kissed, you want me to touch you, you want an epic love, but I’m not that… I’m not good.”
I looked at him in disbelief, I was so confused.
“What are you even saying?”
He gave me a grin before kissing my cheek, and then his lips moved to my ear. “I’m going to need you to wake up.” He whispered.
“This is a dream?” I murmured confusedly, “How… what? I don’t want to wake up.”
“And that’s exactly why you need to.”
“No… I won’t, no.”
“Wake up, Andie,” he demanded, this time a bit louder. “Wake up!”
“Andie wake the hell up and shut your fucking phone off already.” Danny groaned as he shook me, my eyes opened in a second and I looked at him confusedly. The light that shone through the window was a sign that it was morning already, I was lying in Danny’s couch, and there was a flower-covered sheet on top of me.
“Where’s Harry?” I groaned, my head didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would, but the light bothered me.
“I don’t know but I have a fucking headache, please turn your shitty phone off.” He groaned. He passed me my ‘shitty’ iPhone.
“Shouldn’t I be the one with the headache,” I smiled as I squinted to see the phone, the light was bothering me. Thirty two missed calls from Dickwad and seven from Mom. I groaned and began dialing my mom’s phone when my phone started ringing again.
Incoming Call from Dickwad
The fact that we made out like crazy last night wasn’t helping my nerves as I answered the phone, I didn’t put it on my ear until I was certain that I wouldn’t puke just from the sound of his voice. Yeah, I was that nervous. I really just wanted both him and I to forget what happened, I mean, what if he makes fun of me for it.
When I finally had the guts to, I put the phone on my ear. “Harry,” I said, as calm as I could. “What do you want?”
“Oh my god, where the fuck are you?!” He yelled through, I flinched at the loud sound of his voice.
“Easy there, tiger, just because we’re fake dating doesn’t mean you control where I go.” I bit back.
There was an intake of breath in the other side, “I don’t care, do you know how long me and Amanda have been looking for you? We went to your house, your mom said she didn’t know where you were but probably at Danny’s, she called you like we did but no fucking answer. And also, who the fuck is Danny?”
I rolled my eyes, “Danny’s my… why do you care? And why are you guys looking for me? And did you just say you went to my house you Dickwad my mom doesn’t know about this shit yet.” I angrily replied.
“Relax, I didn’t tell her anything.”
“Yeah like she’s not going to wonder why the hell Harry fucking Styles is looking for me.” I growled sarcastically.
“Whatever, you’ll tell her anyway so, going to tell me where you are now? The clock is ticking.”
“I don’t know what the hell you mean, it’s only…” I took a glance at my phone and gasped… it’s five o’clock pm, did I really sleep that much? “Why are you looking for me.” I repeated, changing the subject.
“You forgot?” He gaped in disbelief. “Today is the MTV music awards, and as planned where I would first publicly show you to the public and introduce you as my fiancée.”
“I totally forgot about that, I’ll text you my address.” I groaned, and grabbed my shoes from the floor and put them on quick. I made my way to the kitchen and a very smiling Danny sat on one of the dinner chairs. His smirk covered most of his face and he held a mug of coffee in his hand.
“So lover boy missed you?” He smirked, lifting his eye brows up and down.
“No, Dickwad needs me to save his ass, fulfill my contract, I’ll call you later.” I murmured, and grabbed my belongings before exiting his apartment.
If you think I was dumb enough to actually give Harry the address to Danny’s you don’t know me at all, Danny’s place was my escape, nobody but some of Danny’s friends, Danny and I knew this place, not even my mom, and never in the world would I give the address of the place I’m always at to Mr.-I-hate-you-so-much-I-made-out-with-you Styles, so instead I walked to that little Café I was at yesterday. It wasn’t so far, and I wanted to see that Luke again.
Disappointment filled my face when I saw another guy behind the counter, but either way, I had to wait for Harry here. I waited for the costumers in front of me to get their orders before it was my turn.
“Coffee please, six sugars a lot of crème and please add chocolate syrup.” I murmured, keeping my eyes on my phone.
“Diabetes at your age isn’t a good thing, you know.” Luke said, and my eyes widened and I looked up. He was carrying a tray of cupcakes in his hands and his hair was covered in a black beanie that matched his black Ramones T-shirt. I smiled.
“Sugar is good for hangovers I heard.” I chirped back happily. He gave me one of his dimpled smiles and took one of the red velvet cupcakes in his hand.
“Talia needs you in the kitchen Ashton,” Luke said to the other guy who I presume is Ashton, Ashton gave him a smirk.
“Lies, you just want me out so you can flirt.” Ashton said as he began to walk away, but before the door closed I heard him yell, “Michael! Luke fancies someone!”
I couldn’t help but blush at the sight of Luke blushing, he passed the cupcake to me and wrote something in his notepad. “I’ll make sure to make that coffee extra sweet.” He winked.
“Just like I like it.” I winked back, before he laughed and disappeared to the back.
I was standing there, waiting for Luke to return when I felt someone’s arm wrap around my waist from behind. “George, Danny, and now this guy, how many boyfriends do you have, love?” Harry whispered in my ear. I nearly shrieked.
I pushed to take his arm off me but he wouldn’t budge, and so I elbowed him. “The paps are around,” he grunted.
“I don’t fucking care,” I said, elbowing him again. “And for the record, George is my boss, well my ex-boss, Danny is my gay best friend, and I just met Luke.”
Harry’s arm left my waist and instead he wrapped it around my shoulder and pulled me close. “I don’t care either, babe, the paps don’t know who you are yet but they’ll know tonight so I need you to be very careful who you hang out with. Can we go now?” He whispered in my ear.
I was about to reply when Luke came back with a large coffee foam cup in his hand, he had a smile on his face which soon faded when he noticed Harry. My lips formed a tight line.
“Thanks Luke,” I whispered as I reached out to grab my coffee, Harry gave me a look. “Oh and this is Harry my… my… fiancée.” That was so hard to say. Harry smiled.
“Luke Harry, Harry Luke.” They exchanged a look before shaking hands. Luke gave Harry a smiled but it didn’t reach his dimples.
“Harry Styles, huh? So Andie’s the mystery girl everyone is wondering about.” He murmured.
“Yep.” Harry replied, and my body almost froze when his lips touched my forehead. “Let’s go baby, we’re late.” He said, and pulled me along, I barely had time to wave a goodbye to a very disappointed Luke.
The tension between Harry and I while we drove to his apartment was worse than the tension between him and Luke. It was awkward, weird, and somehow sexual. I don’t know if any of us wanted to talk about it yet. I looked out the window, trying to clear my head of all the Harry hanging around it before looking at him.
His jaw was firm, his eyes concentrated on the road ahead him but his hands were at fists on the wheel. I sighed, we had to talk about it someday, right?
“Do you want to talk about it?” I whispered, and looked out the window again. I would have the courage to talk if I could see him looking at me.
I could feel his eyes on me. “Talk about what?” He wondered.
“The kiss.”
I looked at him this time, but it was him who was looking away now. “What about the kiss? We were drunk, it happens, drop it.” He grumbled.
“Bu-“
“But nothing, do you think I would actually kiss you if I was in my right mind. Only way I would kiss you is if I was drunk or for this contract shit, so please don’t tell me you think we have some kind of bond now because of this.” His eyes were hard, and even though I know he just probably said that because maybe he was having a bad day I couldn’t help but stop the anger that went through me.
“Ditto.” I bit back, “who’d want to kiss you anyway.” I know I was being immature, but Harry insulted me first.
“Millions, and as proven from last night you.”
My teeth clenched. And to think I actually wanted to kiss this asshole again. We had pulled to his apartment now and Harry was just starting to park when I spoke.
“As you said we were both drunk, don’t worry, I won’t make the same mistake again.” I grumbled before opening the door and jumping out the car.
And to think I actually hoped things would be different.
I felt like a doll, walking in this stupidly and amazingly huge heels I felt as if any step would cause me to fall and die. Amanda had insisted that the boys left first to the show before I joined. I haven’t even met them yet, but she said Harry would be behind the scenes while the boys were inside, that way it will cause more attention when he enters.
They spent nearly three hours working to change my ‘gothic’ appearance and I couldn’t help but feel angry about it. I wouldn’t look like me anymore, because ‘me’ is not good enough for a pop star like Harry Styles, so in the end, I didn’t bother to look at myself in the mirror. All I knew is that I was changed from my Sleeping With Sirens T-shirt to a long red dress, and that my face probably had more makeup than all the girls in that show mixed together. My curls were also put into some weird braid and into a bun that was decorated with little red flowers. At least I knew that part of me looked nice.
After they were finished with me they wasted no time to put me in a limousine and take me to the much waited award show. I could feel the nervousness fill me in, what will they think of me, his fans, the other boys, everyone.
The limousine came to a stop in the back entrance of the show and the drive took my hand and helped me out. My really bad balance and this heels were really hoping for my death tonight, and so I kept my hands on the guy has he took me inside. I could hear Harry arguing with somebody from over here.
What will he think.
I could see him now, he had his back to us and his hands on his phone which he had pressed against his ear.
“I told you it’s a fake relationship, it’s only you baby, okay?” He said into the phone, his tone a bit lower.
“Because I want to protect you!” He yelled. Was he talking to his girlfriend, his real girlfriend…? But if he had one, why would he need me then.
“Um Harry…” I whispered, I wanted my voice to be as inaudible as possible but I’m pretty sure he heard me well because he turned around and then stopped in his tracks. His eyes widened for a short second and he coughed into the phone.
“Look I got to go, call you later. No, I won’t. Talia, relax, I’ll call you later.” He groaned before he ended the call, and his eyes looked up to look at me.
“You.. you.. look um… different.” He stuttered, his hands touched his curls as he studied me. My lips were in a tight line. I was still pissed about what he said to me this afternoon.
“Let’s just get this over with.” I breathed, and walked over to him before putting my arm through his.
I can do this. I know I can, I just have to keep my balance and most importantly my eyes open.
Harry gave me a small nod before taking his arm off mine interlacing our fingers instead.
But my mind wasn’t paying attention to the madness that erupted around us once we stepped out, my mind was still stuck processing the tingles that ran through me when his hand touched mine.
A/N: Not much to say, I’m sorry for the late update I have a very busy life! :(
I’m only 300 away from 10,000 so follow me please and help me reach my goal!
Dedication goes to @_HakunaMatata_ an old friend of mine who I recently reconnected with. We have the same name! How cool is that, love you Lilah!
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Delilah xx.