A/N: YO
So I didn't actually think anyone would actually guess what the joke was in that last chapter, but a few people did!
Nobody guessed the actual joke, but the closest was @cooki3monster7070 after her MANY guesses XD.
NO, I will not tell you what the joke actually was, or what her guess was, not because I am a cruel cold-hearted bitch. Because one day in the next two years when this book is done and I have moved on to other stories, you will randomly think back to the chapter and the joke will hit you like a ton of bricks and you will come back and comment on the chapter and I will be back here, getting an email saying you commented and I'll be all what and I'll tear up and give you a nice little shout out right there because I keep my word.
BUT NOW THANKS @COOKI3MONSTER7070 FOR HAVING A DIRTY MIND. I SUGGEST YOU TAKE A GANDER AT HER STORIES. Xx
I hate to dedicate you on such a... *sniffle* heartbreaking chapter *weeps*
ENJOY!
*Zayn's POV*
I walked into the unfamiliar feeling of my own home, everything abnormally quiet.
I expected Perrie to be waiting at the door, which was an irrational prediction for she did not know the exact date of my return. I slowly closed the door behind me and stood in the main hallway, not knowing where to step next.
"Hello?'' I called faintly, stepping into the living room. I didn't hear or see anything at first, taking that as a signal to check the other rooms of the household.
Then I heard the sounds of Perrie's sobs. It wasn't anything too loud, but they were audible. I walked back into the living room and saw that she was sitting on the sofa, a spot I had failed to look at.
Perrie was sitting with a napkin in her hand that rested on her lap. She was dressed in her usual attire, which was rare when she was home. The tellie set was on silent and on a gossip channel, showing pictures of me and Jade side by side. The caption read:
"Secret Affair?''
Perrie had noticed me walk in, but pretended she hadn't. I instantly grabbed the remote from the coffee table and turned off the television.
"I was watching something," She muttered, not taking her gaze off of straight ahead.
"I'm back!" I said, my enthusiasm level to a minimum.
"I've noticed," She got up from her spot on the leather sofa and stood directly in front of me. Even though I heard her sobbing before, no tears were evident on her face. "Refresh my memory; where exactly are you back from?''
I knew it wasn't an actual question, more like the opening sentence to a huge quarrel.
I sighed. "Perrie, I-''
"WHERE were you?''
"Los Angeles,"
She flicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth. "With WHOM, exactly?''
I sighed again. "Jade, but I have very good reasoning-''
"Yes, yes. YOU were in Los Angeles for a whole week with one of MY bandmates-who let me remind you is also in a relationship-without calling ONCE. No, scratch that; you called ONCE, muttering the lines of 'I'm going to Los Angeles with Jade bye!' and hung up. Now, please explain to me what the HELL you were doing in LA with one of MY friends while I sat here alone, waiting anxiously for your return and caring for OUR daughter by myself." She crossed her arms over her breasts and waited for me to say something.
"We were looking for Harry. He's sort of gone missing." I simply explained.
"You were looking for Harry? What kind of excuse is that?" She looked like she was about to laugh in my face.
"Huh?"
"Harry is a grown ass man. He doesn't go missing; he'll turn up. You on the other hand are also a grown man. A grown man with a FAMILY. Do you understand how HARD it was for me, doing things on my own for a week? I even asked YOUR guys for help-- which they didn't supply.
The only reason things work around here is that you're around to help me. I don't know if you realize this, but YOU do sixty-five percent of caring for Dakota. You don't even understand how many times I woke up in the middle of the night taping on your side of the duvet whispering, 'Zayn, can you get her?' only to realize I was talking to a pillow, not to my fiancé."
"Perrie, you're making this way too big of a deal then this has to be," I said, "it was just a week."
"Do you not get it, Zayn? It wasn't just that you were gone for a week; it's that you were gone. You were gone without any warnings or any calls. It's like you vanished from thin air. And don't even get me started on what you and Jade did in the span of a week." Perrie says.
"Whoa whoa hold up," I started, ignoring the whole 'you were gone' speech. "What do you mean 'what Jade and I did'? We did nothing but search the streets for him."
Perrie reached down to the coffee table and grabbed a stack of magazines that I hadn't noticed there.
"Perrie, those are tabloids." I hated how Perrie believed everything she read. I always knew those things were fake.
"First, I see a picture of you and Jade at the airport, holding hands and buying last minute plane tickets to Los Angeles." As she talks, she lifts up each magazine, holds it up, and places it back on the coffee table.
"Then, here's a wonderful picture somebody snapped of you two-- again with the hand holding-- checking into a five-star hotel."
"And last but not least, my personal favorite, a picture of you snatching something out of a four-year-old-boy's backpack with Jade standing by, encouraging you. YOU connect the dots."
"Those are just pictures," I mumbled.
And with that, our biggest argument occurred.
It lasted for so long, to this day I can't remember how many hours went by. There were times of full on screaming to times where we actually talked, which led to even more screaming.
The one topic of me running off to California with Jade turned into many different arguments. It started off just being about that, but then slowly it turned over to how that ruined our images of the media world. THAT somehow turned to a short conversation on how we needed to get a nanny for when we were on tour at the same time. THAT turned into why I shouldn't be 'socializing' with Perrie's bandmates without her there. And so on and so forth, until both of us got tired and took a seat on the sofa.
I have never ended an argument in such an odd way, sitting on the sofa. This is the part where I storm out, but I was already gone for quite a while and it just didn't seem appropriate at the time.
I saw Perrie open her mouth to say something, but was quickly interrupted by the shrieks of Dakota from upstairs. On instinct, I ran up the steps and into the tiny nursery to tend to my loud daughter.
Once I managed to put her back to sleep, I ran back downstairs, only to see that Perrie had disappeared.