Lexi's P.O.V.
The past few days have been...weird. I just don't feel like myself. I know i made the right decision but it's not easy to get over. If i'm completely honest i only feel alive when i'm with Dan and Phil. I hate being numb like this.
Phil's P.O.V.
I sneak up behind Lexi. She was at the breakfast bar, blankly staring at her phone as she ate. I put my arms around her waist.
"Boo." I say. She jumps but leans into my embrace.
"Hey hun." She says before kissing me.
"Whats wrong? You had the "i'm trying not to have an existential crisis" look on your face." I say half joking but mostly seriously.
"I'm fine." She says.
"Stop doing that." I whine holding her tighter and resting my head on her shoullder.
"Doing what?" She asks taking my hand and interlacing our fingers.
"We know you're not fine. Just talk to us." I plead.
"I'm sorry it's just..." she trails off. I kiss her.
"Go on."
"Was it really the right choice?"
"Yes. Lexi. If you by some miracle survived pregnancy you'd have died giving birth." I point out.
"I know..."
"Lex. Think about all the people that'd be hurt if you died to have a child that wasn't even guaranteed to survive. Your subs, Dan, me, your Cali friends-"
"Ok ok i get it...i don't know. I think most girls go through something like this after that sort of thing. My mom told me once that she almost killed herself after her abortion."
"Don't even think about that. I'm serious Lex."
"I won't i swear. I'd miss you guys too much." She says kissing me. I kiss back and things escalate quickly. She wraps her legs around my waist.
*smut warning*
I cary her to the bedroom and shut the door with my foot. I sit on the edge of the bed with her straddling me and deepen the kiss. She tugs at my shirt but i decide to tease her a bit first. I put my hand on her crotch and she grinds on me. I rub her through her clothes and her kisses get sloppy. She turns the tables by kissing down my neck. She tugs at my shirt again and i give in taking it off and laying us down. I pin her and her breath hitches. I didn't know she liked being dominated. I find the spot i remember her having a hickey and i suck. Her nails dig in to my back.
"Harder." she groans. I bite down a little and it drives her crazy. Her hips thrust up against mine and she moans. I bite down harder and undo her zipper. Her almost scream was so hot as her nails dug into my back. I slide her jeans down and rub her through her pantees. I kiss her as she moans. She catches me of guard when she flips us over taking charge. She takes her shirt off and tosses it aside. She bites down on my neck and i squirm from the pleasure. She kisses my chest and leaves a few hickies before kneeling and undoing my zipper with her teeth. She takes them fully off and grabs me through my boxers. Shes strokes slow at first but speeds up.
"Christ Lexi." I groan. She puts her mouth on me and looks up at me questioningly.
"Only if you want to baby." I say. She sucks hard and swirls her tongue around.
"Fuck." I groan. I normally don't swear but her skills were mind blowing". I gently tug her hair and she moans.
"Stop baby i wanna be inside you." She pulls away and takes her pantees off. I pull her back up on the bed and pin her again. I kiss her and grind agains her. She was wet and ready. I bite down hard on her neck as i thrust into her.
"Fuck Phil don't stop." She moans. I kiss her and start thrusting slow she metts my thrusts and i speed up.
"You're so tight." I groan. She bites my neck and groans as i thrust. I thrust the same way hoping that was her G spot. She hisses and bites harder. I thrust harder and faster. I start getting close but i notice she is too.
"I'm close." She says breathlessly. I pull almost all the way out and thrust hard. She cums screaming.
"Jeezus christ Phil." I thrust a few more times and pull out cumming on her stomach.
"Goddamn Lexi." I groan. I lay next to her and hug her to me.
*smut over*
"That was-"
"Amazing" she finishes kissing me.
"Guess your branding is accurate." She jokes.
"I'd say your online nickname is accurate. Sexy Lexi." I joke back. She smiles and gets up.
"I think my subscribers are gonna start a Marina Joyce campaign for me if i don't post something soon." She says starting to get dressed.
"If they haven't already."
"Philyyyyy help me." She whines.
"Sure." I say kissing her and starting to get dressed.
"What video do you want to do?" I ask.
"Can i be lazy and do a Q&A?" She whines.
"Honestly thats probably a good idea now that you're not dying." I say.
"Yay! Laziness for the win." She jokes.
"Isn't this your second one in a row?" I ask.
"Yeah but i'll eventually make it up to them." She says.
"How?" I ask.
"I don't know yet. Maybe finally try the drunk yoga challenge they've been begging me for. Damn Jordan for making that a thing."
"That reminds me. Who is Jordan and why'd you sleep ith him but reject him?" I ask confused.
"You don't want the answer to that love." She says leaving to set up her room and get her camera situated. I follow her.
"I do though baby." She looks at me seriously.
"What would you say if i said you and Dan were my first real relationship?" She asks.
"I doubt that. You're hot, you're smart, you' have a sense of humor-"
"Stop." She blushes.
"I tried dating but after getting my heart broken so many times a few months before my 19th birthday i swore off dating. Love just seemed like a painful ugly process designed to make us procreate that just wasn't healthy for me. So. I gave up. Little did i know that two amazing very loving british guys were looking for a girlfriend. Still don't get why you chose me but glad you did." I hug her tight. The woman in front of me was so strong but didn't even realize it.
"I'm just glad you gave us a chance." I say. She hugs back and isit next to her on the bed.
"I'm not saying i never had crushes. I did. Jordan was one of them but everytime i thought to give love a chance i had flashbacks to every broken heart and i either chickened out entirely or went straight for sex."
"What made Dan and I different?"
"What about Dan?" Dan says walking in.
"Apparently we're her first real relationship." I say.
"No way that's true. Someone had to see how smart fun beaut-"
"No more complimenting the Lexi." She says.
"How are we your first real relationship?" Dan asks.
"I started dating at 16 and got heart broken a lot. Around 18 or 19 i gave up on love. It felt like love was an ugly evil thing that'd just be unhealthy and hurt me again so i gave up. I had crushes but the fear of being broken again and flashbacks from bad break up made me chicken out. If i did go after a crush i went straight for sex." She says repeating it for Dan. He hugs her.
"What made you give us loosers a chance?" He asks.
"Its cuz i didn't have to chase. I deliberately ignored any flirty gestures 1 cuz i didn't wanna be a home wrecker and 2 cuz i was afraid. But you guys weren't flirting sexually. You complemented my personality, you cared about me, you made me trust you. So when you assured me you both wanted to date me and i wasn't ruining a beautiful relationship i wasn't scared." She says. We hug her and i shed a tear.
"I love you guys." She says choking up a little.
"We love you too." Dan and i say simultaneously. We let go of her and she kisses us both.
"Lets be mushy later. I gotta film a video before my subscribers start a witch hunt."