The next morning, I woke up to a empty space beside me. I didn't expect anything else, but a part of me was a little disappointed. In the early hours of this morning, it was a blur to be but I do remember Zayn's words and his cuddle-how he shielded me from the demons trying to hurt me mentally. I was grateful for his actions.
Doing my routine, I then headed downstairs, only to hear Nathan and Zayn having a conversation about no-one else but me. Of course I had to listen-it was only right to!
"I just want her to forgive me and not hate me anymore. I don't know if she loves me because of the way I've been acting."
"Well, you have been acting like a heartless prick-"
"-you know, I preferred it when you were an unconfident coward. You're slightly pissing me off now!" Zayn grumbled and I could almost sense him running a hand through his raven coloured hair in irritation by his friend. I sat down on the bottom step and continued to be nosey.
"I'm only telling you the truth, Zayn. If you can't take the truth, why waste your time here?" Nathan's words recently have been full of logic-that university has been doing him good, eh?
"I know-I know. I just don't want to push her away if I end up pushing Caitlin away. She must now by now that there is no way in hell that I'll stay with Caitlin after the baby is born. It wouldn't be right for anyone. Urgh-this is all my fault. I shouldn't have brought Sophia back-"
"-Sophia and I saw her old house." Nathan suddenly burst out and my breathe hitched. Why the hell did he just tell Zayn that?! He wasn't supposed to know!
"W-what? Why didn't you tell me this before?! That's why she was having those nightmares! Urgh, Nathan! You should've told me!" Zayn sounded angry and his tone wasn't one to surprise me as I've heard it many times already in the past.
Nathan scoffed and laughed half-heartedly at this, "mate, how can I if all you talk about is yourself? You haven't asked her how she was or anything-have you? When's the last time you solemnly talked about her?"
"A few weeks ago... when she was on her period. I needed to know why she was so low, then high, then low again." Zayn was chuckling and so was Nathan. Guys, this is so embarrassing-can you not?
Urgh-I'm seriously cringing at that memory. He kept pestering me all day, trying to figure out why I was so emotional. It was because a damn egg was being released from my bloody ovaries okay? Probably the size of a dinosaur's egg because that is how much it hurt!
"That's different. You're always talking about how unfair your life is because Karma has come to bite your ass. You're so caught up in your anger, you can't see she's grieving? She's your girlfriend."
Girlfriend? I'm not his girlfriend.
"She isn't my girlfriend-"
See?
"-but I want to ask her to be mines soon. I just need to find the right time and words. I need to win her completely back first of all." Zayn's tone is thoughtful and that is all the conversation I can take in, because I've somehow wondered into the kitchen. I tried to act totally innocent and oblivious of their private meeting.
"Good morning." I fake yawn, heading to the sink to grab a glass of water. I chug it down quickly and I notice that both guys are staring at me intensely. I feel self conscious-checking myself before I frowned.
"How much of the conversation did you hear?" Zayn asked me wearily.
"What conversation?" and they both take in my innocent act and breathe out in a sigh of relief.
Am I really that good at acting? "You my dear, are a wonderful actress." plays in my head and I shudder at the thought of Niall...
*
*
*
I was walking around the bedroom that Zayn and I were currently sharing in Nathan's house, trying to keep everything as neat as possible. It was highly impossible however, seeing as I was staying with someone like Zayn.
I sat down on the soft covers and placed my head in the palms of my hands, trying to understand what was going on in my life right now.
Okay, let's clear some things out:
I love Zayn. Zayn loves me. Nathan loves Nikki. Nikki loves Harry-apparently. Caitlin loves Zayn. Zayn is going to be a father-why is that so hard to believe?
Why is there something about Caitlin and this situation that doesn't make sense to me? I need to dig deeper-I need to do an investigation.
I need to befriend her... that's what I need to do.
*
*
*
Using Zayn's mobile I phone the dyed blonde's number and she answered after one ring-woah, desperate much?
"Zayn-hi!" she sounded overexcited to answer the call and I felt bad that it would soon crash down when she would find out it wasn't him. Just the cow what stole his heart, the heart that was supposed to be given to his baby and the woman carrying his baby.
"Umm... no. It's actually Sophia. Hi, how are you?"
"Sophia...-" her tone was thoughtful as if she was trying to figure out who I was, "ah-Zayn's fling. Hi dear. I'm good-good." I could feel her smirking as she talked and I held back the urge to snap at her right now. That's not what you do when you want to befriend someone.
"That's cool... so, what are you planned to do today?" I casually ask even though the atmosphere between us is very awkward.
"Why do you want to know?!-Never mind. Nothing is planned. Probably just going to kick back and watch some movies."
Here's my chance...
"Oh, that sounds pretty sweet, what kinda movies?"
She was being very cautious over what to answer right now-like she was trying to figure out the situation. I was the same, I was just winging it to be honest!
"Chic flicks, most probably."
"Oh! I love them! Fancy some company? We could do some girly stuff too-paint nails, do hair..." I suggest randomly, and now I was the one sounding desperate.
"Is this a trap? Has Zayn sent you to do this?" she questions me hesitantly and I lightly chuckle.
"No no, he doesn't even know. I want to get to know you and stuff. I know you love Zayn and so do I, but I thought... why try and hate you, when... when you're clearly beautiful and Zayn should be with you." sure, why not throw some flattery in there-it won't hurt anyone.
Apart from my heart.
"You're right-why not? Okay. I'll text you the address and make sure to bring lots of chocolates-I have a craving for them right now. Oh, and Ben and Jerry's ice-cream!" then she hung up.
Befriending Caitlin Evans-is that a wise choice?
*
*
*
[Becky]
Well, I'm not staying cooped up in this hell hole-as if! I'm rebelling and going to London. I want to see the city that seemed so damn awesome to people who don't live in England. George says it's not what people make it out to be, but I want to see it for my own eyes.
Taking the first flight, I was gone without a second look back. George will be pissed off, but I need to see this damn place. I have friends anyway... well, I used to. Back when I wasn't as insane as I am now.
"Hey, guess where I am?!" I sang into the mouthpiece of my mobile phone, leaning back on the wall outside the airport.
"No way-Rebecca Ross! It's been a while, how are you? I haven't heard from you in a while now!" my best friend-well soon to be ex best friend's voice rang out of the speaker.
"It's Becky." I hissed, feeling my blood boiling as irritation and annoyance kicked into my body. I needed to control these anger strikes. It isn't good. "And who cares where I've been?! I'm back in your life now, and that's all that should matter-right? Now bae, tell me where you live so I can unload my crap. My bladder is aching right now!"
"Never had a filter on your mouth. I can't lie and say I haven't missed that! I'll text you it, Becky. It'll be good to see you, un." she was smiling while I wasn't. I didn't have that kinda emotion. I don't like to smile about soppy things like this.
"Okay, see you soon Caitlin." I hung up on the different coloured skinny model like girl. Last time I've seen her was around a year ago, and she was a stunner. I knew I couldn't compete. Why would I, when my style is punk rock and she is so... not? Rock-not, boom rhyme!
Caitlin Evans is her name and I bet she hasn't changed a bit.
{{THATS WHAT YOU THINK;) I LOVE BECKY SHE'S SO COOL! Oh my god, is what Sophia's doing good? Is it a good idea or bad? Lets not forget Zayn--HE'LL FLIP A SWITCH AND WHAT WHAT HE WANTS BE A COUPLE??!!;) Comment and Vote please? Ily-Tanisha .x}}