"No, okay? And that's final," I said, pointing a finger towards Lauren.
She slapped my finger away from her face and glared at me. "Don't point your finger at me! And no, we are not done. We are talking about this, Y/N!"
Lauren and I were eating at the café beside the Books and Books. She's spent the past few days with her family and now she was spending time with me before we went back to LA. She told me that since I sang that night at their house, her family's been nothing but supportive of our relationship. And that's great, it really is. But now she wants to meet my family.
And that is not a good idea at all.
"What does it matter if you meet them or not?"
"Of course I want to meet my boyfriend's family. I want them to like me."
I winced at her words. "They won't," I said in a whisper. But Lauren must've heard it because pure shock crossed her face. "No! No, that's not what I meant. Look, my mom will like you but my dad—he's a lost cause," I said as I lift the coffee cup to my lips.
Lauren leaned forward, resting her arms on the table. "Why?"
"He hates me."
"Why?"
I sighed and put the cup back on the table. "It's a long story, Lauren."
"Good thing we have a lot of time then, huh?" she said as she leaned back on her chair with an amused smile on her face.
Was I really ready to tell Lauren about my past? I know honesty is important in a relationship but I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of that I really didn't want to tell her. I'm afraid that it might scare her away. Maybe I could just be careful with the things I say?
"When I was still in high school, I met a girl. She was from out of town and she went to Miami on vacation. I fell in love with her but my father told me that I couldn't date her."
"Why would he do that?" asked Lauren.
"He kept telling me I would just get my heart broken. That she doesn't love me as much as I loved her," I told her. And I still remember that day clearly. I still had a good relationship with my father then and I told him about her. His face fell and a seriousness I've never seen before appeared on his face.
"Then what happened?"
"I dated her despite of my father's protests. And then, well, she broke my heart. My father was right all along. When I came home empty and depressed, I turned to him for support. But he just turned a cold shoulder and walked away."
"No one—was there for you?" I saw the sadness in Lauren's eyes.
"Well, my mom was there but I guess my father's rejection hurt more because I looked up to him, you know? So I became a delinquent, a bad boy—a rebel—just to piss him off," I say.
Lauren's eyes widened. "Did you sell drugs?" she asked in a whisper.
"No!" I exclaimed. The things this girl assumed. "Just small things. Petty crimes." And maybe a few not so petty crimes but she didn't need to know that.
"But why wouldn't your father like me? I don't understand."
"Because the main reason my father didn't like my ex was because she was a celebrity."
"Who?" asked Lauren.
I bit my lip and look away from her without saying anything. She might've felt my apprehension because she took my hand on the table and intertwined it with hers. I looked at her and she smiled at me.
"It's okay, you don't have to tell me. What's important is right now—and right now you're here with me. But you have to fix things with your father, Y/N. And I'm here to help you do just that."
I shook my head. "I'll fix this myself. This is not your problem."
She smiled as she played with my fingers. "The moment I told you I loved you, I accepted you—including your past, your scars, and your problems. We're together now, babe. You don't have to carry everything by yourself. I'm here for you."
I couldn't do anything but smile at the girl in front of me. "I love you."
"So is that a yes?" she asked in a playful tone.
Maybe it was time I finally confronted my dad. It was time I showed him that I wasn't the good for nothing son anymore. I was so much more now. And maybe—just maybe—a better man than he was.
"Yes."
-//-//-//-//-//-
"No."
"Oh, come on, Y/N."
It was evening and we were standing outside my house for a few minutes now. I haven't told my parents that my girlfriend was coming over. Nor do they know I even have a girlfriend. But I really want them to like Lauren. She was important to me and while I knew my mother was going to love her, I'm really nervous about the look on my father's face.
"We have to do this, babe. You promised," said Lauren.
"I know, I know. Okay, we'll go."
I twisted the doorknob and slowly pushed the door open. I could hear the television in the living room blasting the news. Lauren held my hand and gave me a reassuring smile. I gripped her hand tighter before leading her to the living room. My father was on his chair looking directly at the screen while my mother was reading a book on the couch. I took one last look at Lauren before I cleared my throat.
They both turned around and looked at me. But after a few moments, their eyes fell on the girl next to me. My mother stood up from her seat while my father just stared at me.
"Oh Y/N, you didn't tell us you were bringing someone," said my mom.
Lauren let go of my hand and walked towards my mom. "Hi Mrs. L/N. I'm Lauren," she said as she hugged my mom.
"Oh, you could call me Liz. Are you a friend of my son's?"
"Uh," said Lauren turning to me.
"She's my girlfriend, mom," I said without looking away from my father. The moment the words left my mouth, he glared at me. I know what he's thinking and by the way I saw his jaw harden, I knew I was right.
"Oh," exclaimed my mom. "That's great! Y/N, you never told us you had a girlfriend. And she's beautiful too."
"I know who you are." My dad's voice was like thunder booming close by. It sliced the happy tone in my mom's voice. He stood up and scowled at Lauren. "You're Mike Jauregui's kid. The one in the girl band, right?"
"Yes, I am, Mr. L/N," said Lauren in a calm tone. I gotta hand it to her, she kept her cool and didn't back down from my father's stare. He turned to me and I could see the disappointment in his eyes.
"You never learn, do you?" he said before leaving and walking up the stairs. He only said five words but they were enough for the anger to engulf me. I understood why he'd hate me, I get it. I was the worst son in the world. But for him to think that Lauren would treat me the same way as my ex did?
That was the last straw.
I mustered up the courage to move my legs and ran up the stairs after my father. I could faintly hear someone shout my name but I didn't look back—I couldn't. He was in his office when I entered and slammed the door shut. He jumped at the sound but didn't take his eyes off mine.
"What the fuck was that?" I exclaimed.
"Watch your mouth, Y/N. You're speaking to your father!"
"Oh and now you're my father? What about the two years you pushed me away because you were embarrassed of your own child? Where the hell was my father then?"
"Enough! You are setting yourself up to be heartbroken again," he said.
"No, I'm fucking not! Lauren is different. She loves me and I love her," I yelled as I stared him down. My father was a lot bigger than me which made him intimidating. But he needed to know that I've had enough.
He moved closer to me and stared me down. "That's the same shit you told me when you met that girl three years ago. And look where that's got you!"
"I've changed. I'm better now!"
"Bullshit," he said and it felt like a thousand knives stabbed me through the heart. "Do you know how pitiful you were when that girl dumped you? If you just listened to me in the first place, none of this would've happened."
"That's just it, dad! I didn't listen to you. And that was my mistake, I know. But when I needed you most—when I needed you to support me when I was at my lowest, what did you do? You just fucking pushed me away and said 'I told you so'! I needed you to be a father then. Not my biggest fucking critic!"
"Don't you dare tell me I haven't been a father to you!" he countered. "I've wanted nothing but the best for you! I pushed you away so you'd learn to be independent. Same goes when I sent you to LA. I've been nothing but the best father to you!"
"Best? Fucking bullshit! You've been nothing but a pitiful excuse for a father!"
I fell to the ground the moment his fist connected with my face. But the sting in my cheek didn't compare to the pain in my heart. I've felt a lot of blows from my father but this was the worst. The one time I needed him to understand and listen—he retaliated with violence instead. I knew I lost my father at this moment. Not because he hated me enough to disown me, but because I finally gave up on him.
I slowly stood up and looked him in the eyes. I saw the regret there but he made no move to apologize or do anything. So I spoke up instead.
"You're not my father. You never were."
I walked out of his office and down the stairs. Both Lauren and my mom turned to me when they heard my footsteps, however, my mom was the first one to run toward me.
"Y/N! What was all that shouting? And what happened to your face?"
"I need to take Lauren home, mom." It was all I could say as I took Lauren's hand and led her out the door. We walked in silence the whole three blocks to her house. And I'm glad Lauren wasn't pressing me to tell her anything. I just needed some time alone for now.
Before I knew it, I was standing at the porch of her house. I looked at her and saw her biting her lip. She'd do that whenever she was unsure of something and I knew exactly what it was this time. I slowly moved closer to her. The moment her eyes looked up and met mine, I leaned forward and kissed her. It wasn't anything special but just a kiss to let her know that everything was okay—that we were okay.
She looked into my eyes and gently touched my face. I winced when I felt the sting of my dad's punch. She slowly rested her forehead on mine.
"I don't know what happened with your father," she said in a gentle voice. "But just know that I'll always be here for you, alright? You'll always have me, Y/N."
I wrapped her in my arms and engulfed her in a hug. At that moment, all the pain I felt disappeared. No matter how much of an asshole my dad was, it still hurt losing a father. And knowing Lauren was here for me, ready to accept everything I was filled me with hope that I could still be happy. She was an amazing girl. She was the best thing that ever happened to me.
And right now, she was the only thing I needed.