Dedicated to @missblinghi for the cover above! Thank youu💚
Chapter Fifty-Four: "Biggest Idiot On Earth."
"LUCAS, WATCH YOUR-" before he could knock a picture of a seven-year-old me from the wall, I steadied him myself, holding him right.
He flushed in embarrassment. "Sorry."
I gave him a small smile and I put my hand on his arm. "Relax. It's all going to be okay. But you've been here for an hour and you're still... awkward."
Lucas leaned his head against the wall before he slumped all the way down into a sitting position. "How is it that my brother is making a better impression than I am?"
I sat down on the other side, touching my socks with his own. "Because Phillip is nine and is the cutest thing anyone has ever seen."
Lucas stared at me before shrugging. "Makes sense. By the way, your mom has a really good sense of style for this place."
"Why didn't you tell her that?" I asked.
Lucas shifted, looking confused. "I was supposed to?"
I sighed. "Didn't Joey tell you to compliment her before you came here?"
"He barely told me anything! He was too busy texting Hailey."
"They're really talking huh?" I asked.
Lucas looked down, focusing on a part of the floor. "He told you, didn't he?"
"Told me what?" I asked like I didn't know.
"What we fought about weeks ago. He told you the reason."
"The real question here is why you didn't bother telling me?"
Lucas shrugged. "I didn't think I was important."
"You didn't think it was important? You got into a fight over me with Joey and you didn't think it was important?"
"I just found it so stupid that suddenly out of nowhere he finds it in his heart to admit to me of how he feels about you when he acted like he completely disliked you this whole time. It pissed me off."
"Clearly since you got into a fight."
Lucas licked his lips. "But we're okay now. I realized that he told me to get it off his chest."
"What?"
"He felt guilty Sydney. That's what he felt as much as he didn't want to admit it. He did."
"Guilty?"
"He ended up liking you, his brother's girlfriend. That's bound to cause problems so he told me before something could happen. He told me because he figured it was the right thing to do."
"You know as much as a dick Joey has been to me since I first met him," I started off and I could see the smile on Lucas' face at that sentence. "He can be kind of great."
Lucas moved over to sit next to me. "Yeah. He has his good moments. He can be a good guy."
I glanced at Lucas. "Are you trying to convince to date your brother or...?" Lucas gave me a look and I laughed. "I'm kidding. Now can we get up and you can actually go and face my mother right now?"
Lucas got up, giving me a hand. "I kind of feel a bit better though. And whatever she is making smells good."
"See? You love to cook. My mom loves to cook. Make conversation about that."
"How do I-" Lucas was cut off from another attempt to ramble when Phillip appeared, grabbing both of our arms and pulling us in the direction of the living room.
"Can the two of you hurry up? I wanna eat." He whined.
Lucas glanced at me, looking a little worried and I took his hand. "Don't worry."
Phillip looked at our hands and cringed and I laughed at his face. He looked up at Lucas with furrowed brows. "Yeah you big wuss, don't worry."
Lucas rolled his eyes at his little brother. "I'm not a wuss."
"Yeah you are," Phillip retorted. "You look like you're about to pee your pants. You're a total wuss."
Phillip walked away before Lucas could say anything to him and I held a hand to my mouth trying to stop the laughter. I cleared my throat, looking at Lucas with a struggling smile. "Um, shall we?"
"I hate you."
"I love you too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I leaned back in my chair, the scent of coffee filling my nose. Zen sat across from me eating a donut and typing on his laptop with one hand. He put the donut down, groaning lowly. "I fucking hate this."
"What?" I asked, my voice quieter than usual trying not to catch anyone's attention in the quiet café.
"English. I should have skipped the class and pretended that we didn't just get an assignment."
"You're working on it now. Stop complaining." I told him, pointing my pencil at him. He reached out to grab the pencil but I quickly moved it out of his reach. "Why the hell do you always try to throw my pencil around? I had to get new ones' last weekend because of you."
"Because you constantly annoy me," Zen grumbled and then shut his laptop closed, pushing it to the side. "Fuck this. I'm tired. Wake me up when we graduate."
I twisted the pencil in my hand. "Speaking of graduation and other things that happen to seniors," Zen looked at me with a bored expression, probably wondering where I was going with this. "Prom."
"I'm not asking Kim," He shut me down so fast my lips parted in shock. "We just got back on our friendship. I'm not asking her. End this conversation."
When I glared at him for the last three words he said, he winced, "Sorry, meant to add 'please'."
"Okay. Sorry for bringing it up."
Zen shrugged, biting in his donut. "It's fine. Now, remind me again why you and Lucas aren't going to try the long-distance thing?"
I sighed. "Zen."
"Just explain it to me, would you? Is it the distance? I'm pretty sure it is but still. Wouldn't you still want to be together even through the whole 'not being the same place'?"
"Lucas and I kind of have this understanding."
"Understanding?" Zen repeated slowly staring at me like I was the biggest idiot on earth.
"Yeah."
"Enlighten me on this understanding." He leaned back in his chair and decided to lace his fingers together. The dick.
"We're going to be in two completely different places and things might change. Feelings might change. There can be other people and we don't want to take new experiences from one another."
"You mean you don't want to seem like a burden on Lucas if he meets someone else."
"Well he's obviously going to meet someone else," I told Zen. "Have you seen Lucas? Have you met him? Once you get to know him, you instantly want to be with him. Anyone would want to be with him and I don't want to hold him back from that."
"One, I don't want to be with Lucas because I'm not attracted to men. Two, what was the point of asking me those questions when you already knew the answer-"
"Haven't you ever heard of rhetorical questions?"
"Three, don't interrupt me and four, Sydney I'm certain that Lucas feels the exact same way about you."
"And there's also the issue with our futures if we stay together."
"Like what?"
"Like, if we continue dating we're going to constantly worry about one another. Jealously could happen and that can affect my dancing or his art. Basically it can-"
"Affect your emotions. I get it. One of you might mess up. And I'm sure as hell that there are a lot more reasons as to why you guys are going to break up. And you're only going through with it for each other. Am I right?"
"Exactly." I told Zen, leaning back in my chair and wanting the conversation to be over.
"That must suck." He commented.
I took in a deep breath, my eyes drifting to the window where the sun rays were against my skin. "Can we, um, can we change the subject?"
Zen instantly did. "So, New York in a couple of weeks. I'm going to be stuck in the same city with you for years, aren't I?"
"You're not going to get rid of me that easily, Zen."
Zen took my pencil out of his hand and ripped a piece of paper out of my notebook. "Okay, let's write down all the things we're going to get when we move into our new apartment-"
"Zen, Zen, we're not moving in together until we both make enough money while we have jobs during the first couple of years in school, remember?"
Zen crumpled the paper in his hands and threw it so it hit me right in the forehead. I snatched my pencil out of his hand, rubbing the spot where he had hit. "Dick."
"It's your fault. You got my hopes up."
"How did I get your hopes up? You're the one who brought the subject up." Zen opened his laptop, ignoring me as he started typing again. "Wait, something doesn't add up here. You hate English and yet you're taking AP?"
"Yes," Zen glanced up at me, staring at me like I was an even bigger idiot then before. "Anymore dumb questions?"
"Matthew," I started, referring to his real name. "At this rate I'm going to make sure we're not going roommates in the future if you keep being mean to me."
Zen scowled. "Fine. I'll stop being mean to you."
I smiled. "I really love you though."
Zen smiled back at me, taking another bite of his donut. "Don't worry. I love myself too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Where is everyone?" I asked Lucas, noticing the silence in the large house. This is so weird.
I expected to hear Phillip running through the corridor or Greg walking down the stairs, a sarcastic comment about to come out of his mouth. I thought I would see Christian on his phone laughing at something that was probably stupid and then heading into the kitchen because everyone knows he much he loves food. I even expected to see Joey walk in behind us with fencing equipment or something.
But no. Not a single Cahill boy besides the one I loved was in this house making it seem a little strange.
"For the first time in a long time I am home alone." Lucas smiled really widely looking like he was finally at peace or something.
"Are you serious?" I had to ask because I was still having a hard time realizing tat he-we were indeed alone.
I was even expecting one of his brothers that were in university and colleges to come out of nowhere. I expected Ivan and Natasha, the married couple, to come out and start arguing about new things for their baby.
Nope. No one. Just me and Lucas.
Lucas nodded. "Dad is out with Christian, Greg and Joey and if I know Greg they will not be coming home for hours. Mum is out with Phillip and some of my eldest brothers since they returned home."
"So, we're alone?" I asked quietly, looking sat him.
Lucas met my eyes, his voice slower. "Yeah, we're alone. Now, c'mon I have to show you something that I got the other day."
Before I could even speak, Lucas had already started pulling me up the stairs fast. "Whoa, whoa, Lucas slow down, would you?"
"It's a really important thing."
"I thought we were going to head to the art tunnel? Or at least relax like I just came from practice."
"We can do that later and I'll even make you something. I really want to show you this important thing, okay?"
"We have all the time in the world to see it," I said to him as he rushed over to where his room was. "Why are you in such a hurry for me to see-whoa."
Lucas had opened the door which stopped me from talking and my jaw dropped.
On the ground was a heart formed out of the flowers he had given me at the national dance competition; dahlia flowers. And across in a horizontal line held down by something were blue bubble letter balloons that spelled out the word 'Prom?'.
I smiled, my hand covering my mouth as he rushed over to his bed and picked up a large poster. I stared at the poster and wondered what the papers attached to it were until I realized. "It's your drawings of me, isn't it?"
Lucas chuckled, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah. I don't want to sound like a stalker but I have sketches here of you since like September."
"September?"
Lucas bit his lip, nodding. "Yeah. Phillip and Devin helped me out with it and Jane found the balloons. I have to read something to you because apparently 'it's romantic and girls fall for this stuff'."
"Let me guess Jane said the romantic part and Devin said the girls fall for this stuff part."
"Actually Devin said 'girls fall for this kind of shit' but I'm just paraphrasing."
The smile didn't drop from my lips even when I had to ask. "So you have to read it?"
Lucas frowned, quick to cover up his mistake of words. "No, no, it's not like I have to. I want to. I really want to say-"
"Lucas just say it." I grinned.
"Just letting you know that Phillip was about to rhyme art with fart so the effort made into this was a lot..." He trailed and I laughed as he took a deep breath, turning the poster around so that I could see the words that were written.
"I'm not a poet and you should really know it. You're everything to me like a one in a million dream. You're sarcastic, funny, and Jane would like it if one day you would call me honey. I love to hear you laugh and we both really can't sing but I love when we do other things. You've danced your way into my heart and-"
Lucas paused, looking down at the ground before looking back into my eyes. "We're both not going to like it when we have to be apart. But now is the time and I've conjured up this mediocre rhyme. Just because I'm your boyfriend, did you really think I wouldn't ask you to prom near the end? I love you, I really do, but just remember when we dance it's like I'm wearing two left shoes."
He stopped for a second and we both laughed at that line before he continued. "But right here, right now is where we are meant to be, so Sydney Janelle Acosta will you go to prom with me?"
I smiled, my fingers against my mouth as I stared at the middle of the heart was standing in. "I can't believe you did this."
Lucas folded up the poster so that it was in a square a colored picture of me was on the front of it. Wow. He looked a little smug when he asked, "So is that a yes?"
"Shut up and kiss me."
Lucas tossed the folded up poster onto his bed before grabbing me by the hand and pulling me towards him. And when we kissed it was light, delicate almost as if the bond between us was innocent. But what turned from an innocent kiss with my hands gently clasping the front of his shirt and his own around my waist became like complete chaos. I felt it. The rush, the adrenaline, the moment itself. My mind not thinking about anything else. Not school, not dance, not anything. Just of Lucas right in front of me. Lucas who was holding, kissing me back with the all the love emitting from him.
My legs hit the back of his bed before I knew it and I fell back, trying to catch my breath but could barely do so as Lucas put his glasses and the poster on his nightstand. Lucas hovered over me, his lips against my neck. My fingers dug themselves into his hair and I let out a breathless sigh at his actions, his own hands around the back of my thighs pulling them around his waist. Holy shit.
I grasped at his shirt, my hands tugging at the bottom and Lucas got the hint. He pulled back to take it off, tossing it over to the side. I didn't even have the chance to ogle him, his lips attaching themselves back to mine and his hands on the back of my thighs. I cupped his cheek, a thousand thoughts rolling through my brain at the feeling of this. The way his skin felt against me and the way his hands were now underneath my shirt, the material rising up my torso.
I pulled back, gasping my own mind made up. "Lucas?"
"Yeah?" He asked, breathing hard and looking down at me confused. His voice was husky and he smelt like cologne. Like fucking heaven. I almost forgot what I was going to ask when all I could just think of was him.
"Do you have a one?"
"A what?" He whispered, his fingers brushing against my cheek and staring at me like he was in a trance.
"A condom."
"What?" He looked confused as hell and I stared at him, letting him process the information I told him. "A-A condom? Seriously?"
"Yes. Seriously." I told him with my eyes.
"Um...let me, uh, let me check." He scrambled off me and headed towards the bathroom. I could hear something fall and a loud 'fuck' making me roll my lips into my mouth to prevent me from laughing.
Lucas came back with one in his hand. "I, uh, I got one."
"Where did it come from?" I asked with narrowed eyes.
Lucas shrugged, settling back on top of me and holding in between two fingers. "It's probably one of Joey's. He won't notice it's missing."
I cracked a smile, kissing him again. I could tell that there was excitement and nervousness in the air and it was confirmed when Lucas pulled back again. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Yeah. I'm sure," I told him confidently. "I'm on the pill too."
Lucas raised an eyebrow and I wanted to curse him for doing something I still haven't mastered doing but fought against it. "Since when?"
"Since my mom had a long talk with Liz on the phone and dragged me to the doctor's office one day."
Lucas licked his lips, his breathing low. "And you really want to do this?"
"Yes. Do you?"
"Yes." He said with certainty and I laughed, bringing him back down to kiss me.
And in that moment when it did happen I felt like time didn't matter. Tomorrow didn't matter, the future didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was me being here with Lucas. He was what mattered the most. Surprisingly, it wasn't awkward. There was a moment of laughter, of ease, of calm, of slight pain, of pleasure. A sense that right here with him was where I belonged and wished to belong forever.
Lucas and I laid facing one another, my hands tracing patterns across his bare chest. I don't think I stopped staring at him. I wasn't sure if he stopped staring at me. "Do you ever think you're going to get anymore tattoos?"
He watched my hand move for a second before meeting my eyes, a smile on his face. "Probably."
"What would you get?" I whispered like we were in a room full of people but it was only use two in complete solitude.
"A number of things where your hand is right now. But right here," He moved my hand to his hip. "I'll get a Canada flag right here."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Best believe I'll get it." He took my other hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it.
"What if someone asked you what it signified for in Japan?"
"I'll just tell them that it's the country I lived in. Not everything is about you Sydney."
"Shut up." I smiled and he laughed, intertwining our fingers together.
He stared at our joined hands. "Do ever think about different we are? Not just in personalities but in-"
"The color of our skin?"
"Yeah," Lucas whispered and I looked down at our joined hands. "I love it. It makes us contrast but at the same time reminds us that love has no color. Yours is like golden brown. It's so beautiful."
"Really?"
"Really." He said truthfully. "And I love the beauty mark that's right here under your eye," He brushed his finger against it and "And the one right behind your ear and your birthmark which is near your weird bellybutton."
"My bellybutton is not weird." I glared at him and he laughed, kissing me on the head.
"Of course it isn't. It's perfect. You're perfect." He moved upward, and I laid my head on his chest, never wanting this moment to end.
"But, um, you know people usually have sex on prom night right? Not on the day they get asked." He mentioned.
"Who said we were normal?"
The smile that came on his face at that line slipped off. He tilted my head up, looking at me with intention. "I love you."
I pressed a kiss to his lips, my hand hovering over his chest where his heart was beating. "I love you too. Do we have to get up now?" I asked Lucas. "Because I really don't want to."
"Probably, just in case someone comes home or-"
Suddenly, someone was knocking on the door and Lucas and I both stilled. I widened my eyes. "Just, uh, get under." Lucas pulled me under the comforter, throwing it over me and I felt the need to stop breathing when I heard the door open. "Hey Lucas."
Greg.
"Hey." Lucas said and then fake yawned like he had just woken up.
There was a pause before Greg spoke up again. "You and Sydney might want to get changed fast. Mum has something for you. By the way you look right now I'm guessing the promposal went well, right?"
Greg laughed and I could hear Lucas say 'get out' before the door shut close and I sighed, getting out from under the covers. I glanced up at Lucas to see him staring at me with a smile on his face. I rolled my eyes, biting back my own. "Stop looking at me like that and put on your clothes."
Lucas grinned boyishly and then he winked. My lips parted in shock. "You did not just wink."
"But I did. What are you going to do about it?"
I threw a pillow at his face and he groaned when it hit him. "Just put on clothes."
"Fine, fine," He laughed before looking at me almost holding back the question he was about to ask. "You don't regret this, do you?"
I took his hand, pulling him so that his face was right in front of mine. "No. Never. I'm going to look back on this one day and be happy that my first time was with you."
Lucas kissed me again, his eyes shut as he pressed his forehead against mine. "God, I love you so much."
I was about to reply the same thing when the sound of knocking against the door interrupted me. It cracked open just enough for Greg to whisper yell without looking inside, "Hurry up, would you?"
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So this chapter happened : )