Nico glanced at the near forgotten guitar sitting against the cupboard.
It's been forever since he's played it. Forever since he'd had his escape. Forever since he'd forgotten how wonderful it was to pour out his heart and soul in a song.
"You should pick it up again, Neeks." A slight thud on the floor signalled the arrival of his boyfriend.
Despite his cluttered, pent-up thoughts, Nico managed a small smile. Seeing Will, his boyfriend, it was like a...like a reminder of how far he'd come. From that depressed, suicidal preteen, to the happy, comfortable teenager. He's had his fair share of battles. His sexuality was one.
He questioned so many things. He battled his own self every day. He refused to accept the fact that he might be anything but heterosexual. Then he realised, he needed to come out to his own being.
Even after accepting himself, he grew distant, he changed. He always thought that he'd never find someone who could love him, or that he may never ever start a family in the future.
"Neeks, I'm serious. It used to be like...your diary." Will interrupted his thoughts once again, now picking up the guitar before gingerly placing it into his hands. "C'mon. I can already tell you're brooding."
"But-"
"Nico."
Nico sighed. He'll never win. Even if he tried to argue, Will would end up making him do it anyway. He let silence linger in the air, staring into Will's expectant blue eyes.
"Alright. Fine." Nico let his fingers strum through the guitar.
It was like he was fourteen again. Hearing those first few notes, it made his veins go warm with passion, blood in his ears roaring. So he begun to sing, the first song that came to mind.
The song that described everything going on inside his head.
"The truth runs wild, like a tear down a cheek.
Trying to save face and daddy heartbreak,
I'm lying through my teeth.
This voice inside, has been eating at me.
Trying to replace the love that I fake
With what we both need."
Nico's eyes slid closed, as he completely submerged himself into the song, allowing the lyrics and the meaning of it wash around him like gentle waves.
"The truth run wild, like kids on concrete.
Trying to sedate my mind in its cage
And numb what I see."
Nico remembers this part of his life. When he was in denial about something that he was born with, something that he was.
"Awake wide-eyed, I'm screaming at me.
Trying to keep faith and picture his face.
Staring up at me."
His hold on the guitar tightened when the chorus came.
"Without losing a piece of me,
How do I get to heaven?
Without changing a part of me,
How do I get to heaven?"
He remembers this part too. He had battled himself for so long all because of one reason. Would ever make it to heaven because of who he chose to love? His parents told him that 'those' people weren't allowed in. They'd told him to repent immediately.
"All my time is wasted,
Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh.
If I'm losing a piece of me...
Maybe, I don't want heaven."
He smiled. He wanted to be himself.
End.
Author's note: Heaven by Troye Sivan is just so beautiful, and so so amazing. It's one of my favourite songs, it's such a deep, meaningful song. The lyrics literally speak to you. Enjoy this chapter babes! I'm early this week, yay! Thank you so much for 4k. I'm always so overwhelmed.
Love, K.
P.S. Y'all should check out Troye's music too. Heheheheh. ;)))))))))))))))