Shawn
The situation I was in wasn't the best. I didn't really know how my daughter would take the news of me getting married. However, I wanted her to know. It wasn't something to be taken lightly because at some point she would be meeting Beyoncé.
Beyoncé.
Damn she was beautiful, but I'm pretty sure she's not my type. For God sakes she's pregnant that alone should make me feel like I shouldn't marry her. But for some reason, it doesn't. It doesn't bother me in the least bit. She attracts me even more if I'm being honest.
Her beautiful face becoming more plump and her dimple when she smiles. The spread of her hips, the little waddle she- what the fuck and I thinking. I'm not even married to her yet and I can already see the things I like about her.
"Shawn, it's just business, not personal." I said to myself, earning a giggle from my daughter. I frowned turning around to look at her.
"You think that's funny?" I asked her. Clare didn't say anything instead she nodded her head yes and I walked to the side of her bed before sitting down in the chair that was there.
She smiled at me and I leaned down to kiss her forehead. She rubbed the side of my face letting me know she appreciated my presence.
"Did you sleep well?" I asked. Clarissa nodded again and I sighed.
Some days were good and some weren't. Some days she was would talk and some days she wouldn't. Today was one of those days. I spent time asking her things mostly yes or no questions. I just want to make sure she was okay before I moved to what I originally wanted to talk to her about.
By the time I mustered up enough courage to talk to her about the TV had her attention.
"Clarissa." I said and then I waited for her to turn and look at me before I started again.
"There is something I need to talk to you about." Clarissa(pic attached) continued to pay attention and not say one word. I just took it as she was ready for me to say what I needed to say.
"Clare you know I love you right?" Clarissa smiled and nodded her head which made me smile right back at her.
"I know for awhile we've been on our own and it hasn't been easy." I started because I didn't know what else to say other than to just tell the truth.
"Clare baby, daddy is getting married." I told her and she frowned. I don't think she knew what I was talking about so I explained.
"I met this lady, and she's really nice. So we are going to commit to each other."
"I get a new mommy?" She asked me. Finally speaking to me the first time today. I smiled weakly not really wanting to explain that it was all fake.
"Not exactly, she'll be you're step mom." I told her and she smiled brightly but soon after she frowned again.
"What's wrong baby?" I asked.
"Will my real mommy come back?" Clare asked me. I honestly didn't know. I hadn't seen Christine in awhile.
"I don't know Clare, I really don't know." I told her honestly. She looked away and I knew she was contemplating on if she should cry or not but she didn't. It took awhile but she eventually turned to look back at me.
It took everything in me not to cry. I knew how it felt to be abandoned. I vowed when I became a father that no matter what I would never leave my child for my own selfish reasons.
Growing up without a father I learned early. The empty feeling I felt when other children got to do things with both parents hurt. I was a product of a single parent home. My mom worked her ass off for me and I intended to do the same for Clarissa.
When I got married to Christine I thought I had it all. She was my best friend, the only woman I ever loved and made love to. We met in middle school but we didn't start dating until high school.
We went to college, got married and then Clarissa came. Boy was I happy when I saw my baby girl for the first time. She had the perfect mixture of me and Christine. I couldn't stop looking at her. Life was good, hence was.
When Clarissa was crushed me and Christine went through hell only for her to take everything and leave me and Clare to fend for ourselves. Christine no longer cared about the family we built or herself. However, not matter what she did I'll forever be grateful for my daughter.
Clarissa is all I have and regardless of my situation, she's all I need to be happy.
_____
The wedding ceremony couldn't come fast enough. Shawn and Beyoncé kept it simple and had everything at the court house. Beyoncé was happy that Shawn decided to go along with her.
It was something that she needed in order to move on with her life and she was grateful that he was willing to help. They didn't go on a honeymoon because they had no reason to. They were only doing this to help each other anyway.
There was no need for them to go on one knowing that it would be awkward. The people who they chose to witness their wedding knew the circumstances of why they were getting married so there was no reason to put on a show.
Beyoncé
I pulled up to my house and got out of the car waiting on Shawn to emerge from his his. Of course my house wasn't your typical house. I have a big garden in the back and a guesthouse. I had this house built when my parents died.
It was a reminder of my childhood home. Even though I couldn't have the farm I wanted it still made me fill happy to be able to have my garden.
"This is yours?" I heard Shawn ask and I smiled. His eyes said it all but he verbalized it as well.
"Yes-"
"It's beautiful." He told me looking into my eyes. His gaze was so strong I had to look away and blush. I giggled a little and turned around so he wouldn't see me. I don't know why but for some reason being around Shawn made me fill like a little school girl.
If I'm being honest with myself I have a little crush on my fake husband. I definitely wouldn't be letting him know that though. It was a fake marriage that was beneficial to both of us and I want it to stay that way.
A little crush never hurt anybody. Right?
"Thank you," I finally told him before making my way to the door of my home. It didn't take long for us to actually get in but it did take awhile for the tour. I made it to the room I decorated for his daughter and I waited for him to say something.
I didn't really know what his daughter liked so I did take out time to have another room just in case. I could tell by his silence he didn't like it so I grabbed his had and moved him to the next room.
"Wait two rooms? She only needs one!" Shawn finally voiced.
"But I know she won't like the other room."
"How do you know that? You haven't even met her yet." He told me and I frowned.
"Your reaction was enough." I told him softly.
"She'll love it, period because it's her own room. That's something she hasn't had in a while. She wants her bed not the hospital bed so whatever you give she'll love." He said and I awed.
"Let me show you where you'll be staying." I said and turned away. I knew he wasn't going to stay with me because we weren't married for the right reason so I made sure to fix up a room for him too. His wasn't to far from his daughter so it took us a couple of seconds.
"Damn how many bedrooms do you have?" Shawn asked me.
"Nine," I answered right off and he snapped his eyes in my direction.
"It's just you," he said.
"Correction it was just me," I smiled and opened the door.
"Damn," he mumbled.
"You don't like it? I didn't really know how to decorate for you, men are difficult. I figured you might not like Carpet. You hate it huh?"
"No-" he tried but I interrupted him.
"You can have my room but you might not like it." I suggested walking out of the room in the direction of my room.
"That's not necessary, I-" he said but I interrupted again.
"No I want you to be comfortable," I told him swinging my door open.
"I'm fine- woah," he said looking at my room.
"You like it? You can have it!" I told him.
"Wait no I can't take this," he replied looking at me as if I was crazy.
"Yes you can, your in my house and I let my guest choose what they want. I think you should take this one I'll take your room. I promise I'll be okay. Plus I have other rooms too..." I said rambling. He stared at me as I talked a mile a minute. He listen to me go for while until he finally had enough and did the unthinkable.
He kissed me.
_____
So unbearable will be the next book I update but after that I'll be focusing on Standard Deviations.
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