'My head is haunting me and my heart feels like a ghost. I will follow you, you have me under your control. Under your spell I will lead your army, I will obey your orders and destroy your enemies. Your wish is my command, your dreams my desires.'
I felt the bed move and a light groan before a soft kiss was placed on my forehead. I smiled and heard the soft footsteps of Elsa against the wooden floor. My smile changed into a smirk when she stood before her mirror, the perfect love bite announcing its presence. "(Y/N)!" My smirk only grew larger and I opened one eye to look at the angry and slightly panicking Queen.
"Yes, your Majesty. How can I be of service?" I answered with an innocent voice, Elsa crossed her arms and pointed with her finger to her neck. "I don't think I see the problem." I shrugged and closed my eye again, earning a frustrated sigh of my Bitter Rose.
"I can't go to the meeting like this!" She stood in front of the mirror again and inspected the blue purple spot. I leaped out of bed and sneaked up behind her, wrapping my arms around her. I moved my hand up to draw lines across the love bite I had given her.
"Well, I think it suits you." I whispered against her neck before placing my lips on the soft skin. Elsa sighed softly and leaned back against me, kissing my cheek.
"The council will hopefully stop bothering me with finding a suitor after they see this." She stood again and massaged her temples because of the screaming pain in her head. I chuckled and turned her around to face me, moving her hands away from her throbbing headache.
"I could let the pain go away, if you did like?" I told her softly while placing my hands on each side of her head. Her frown slowly turned into a small relaxing smile and she sigh content when she felt the pain lessen already.
"I did like that very much." I smiled and concentrated back on my job, when I would use this force to heal someone else than myself, the injury would be transferred to me just like the night at the ball with the Princess of Longrave. I felt the slight headache in my head turning into a much more forceful one.
I let my hands slide down to Elsa's cheeks and chuckled softly. "Well, that was absolutely the most affecting headache I have ever had. Most likely the only one." She looked at me confused for a moment before she parted her lips to speak.
"You have never had a headache because of drinking before?" I looked at her with a playful glint in my eyes.
"What, you see me as the kind that drinks to mind their own dead?" I moved closer and placed my hands on her hips, lying a gentle kiss on her forehead.
"Well, I expected that you atleast had drank ones." She leaned her head against my shoulder, her hands between our bodies. I moved my hand to lie around her waist while the other moved up to stroke her hair, I absolutely loved her hair.
"I've drank before, but it never affected me." I frowned slightly at the bad memories of my past, me in one of the many bars, killing every soul that was present.
"Why is that?" I buried my nose in her hair trying to ignore the voices in my head, screaming to me, trying to reach me, to break me.
"Well I hope that you're aware of your lover being nothing more than a dead body. The alcohol will never reach my brain." Elsa pulled away and placed her hand on my cheek, making me look her straight in the eye.
"Well I hope that you're aware that you're much more than just a dead body." She kissed the top of my nose and turned around to undo her hair from her messy french braid, letting her beautiful locks fall in waves over her slender shoulders. I adored her, I adored everything about her. I watched her making herself presentable, it was fascinating how much it cost to prepare yourself for just one day.
Just let it take you over, let it flow through your body and become the fearful monster your heart desires.
I growled and put a hand against my head, closing my eyes in the process, it all seems to get worse when I'm with her. Elsa looked from the mirror to me with her famous concerned blue eyes. "Is everything alright, honey?" My eyes darted up and looked at her, my gaze slowly moving to the nothing standing beside her in the mirror.
You mean nothing to her, you are nothing. No one respects you, you can make them kneel before you, starting with this pathetic mortal.
"No." I whimpered softly, making Elsa even more confused, my eyes still fixated on the mirror. The Queen slowly approached me and turned my head away from the screaming truth. The voices they didn't leave me alone! I wanted to scream, fight and build up every wall those whisperings in my head had broken down.
She is tricking you, your stumbling into her trap. It's all an illusion, just your imagination, listen to us and forget about the emotions you will never find.
I looked at Elsa while the voices slowly broke down my mind, piece by piece. Elsa didn't say anything, she just led me to the bed and seated me beside her.
You're tempted to fall down, into the nothing that will eat you alive and swallow you down. Give your body back to us and you will destroy this world with only you ruling.
She pulled me against her chest and my ears perked up at the sound of her beating heart. I just sat motionless by her side, my hands lying in my lap, waiting till finally it will all quiet down. The last thing said, the words still echoing in my head, presenting once again my biggest fear.
You will always be alone.
Elsa made soothing circles with her hand across my back, hoping to calm her beloved vampire. I pulled away from her arms and straight my back while sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down to the floor. "You probably need to go to a meeting." Elsa grabbed my upper arm and held me in position.
"I won't leave you like this. What just happened?!" My thoughts were flying through my mind, arguing to tell her or keep silent and never show her the truth. "(Y/N) look at me!" No I must not look, if I do I may betray myself. A sigh dragged me back out of my thoughts. "(Y/N), I know about your past and I want to make you feel happy again. But I can't help you if you're not telling me the whole story." Her hand carefully lay on top of mine, kindly intertwining our fingers.
I turned my head slightly to look from the corner of my eye to a concerned and hopeful Queen. I broke, I can't hide the truth from her forever. "The voices, they always talk to me." I placed my finger against my temple and felt Elsa processing my words.
"Voices..." She repeated and looked away with a thoughtful expression on her face. When her eyes widened and she turned her head back to me, I felt a spark of fear inside my abdomen. I hadn't felt real fear for a long time, only the times when my father would open the door to my room to give me my daily punishment. "(Y/N)....y-you hear..." Elsa looked at me with glittering eyes of pure sadness.
I lay my head on her shoulder and felt her tense up slightly, not moving her hand away from mine. I felt nothing, it's wrong, but everything was gone. Elsa's warm touch didn't affect me, it seemed like I was locked away again. I was scared, scared that I would lose everything all over again.
'I feel myself go under, it's like hands around my neck. My heart is frozen by your hatred and love. Take me down to the fighting end through the secrets I have seen.'
"Elsa?" My voice was nothing but a small disturbance in the thick air. I wanted her to talk, to say something. The silence, it will kill me if she won't break it, please.
"What do....they tell you?" I closed my eyes and clenched my jaws, holding her hand stronger in my grip not wanting to let her go.
"If I tell you, please don't run away." I felt Elsa move and a sting of pain struck my heart, thinking she would leave me. But she didn't, instead she placed a light kiss on my head and wrapped me in her arms. A sigh escaped past my lips, why did I had to ruin the perfect morning. "They tell me to leave. To kill. To destroy. To forget. To dismiss all my feelings, to be a monster." I pulled away so I could look into Elsa's eyes, to see her expressions. "But I don't want to kill, to destroy, to forget, to dismiss. I don't want to be a monster, not again."
Don't lie to yourself, you can't change who you truly are. You have and will always be a monster.
Elsa leaned in and kissed my lips, dismissing the voices. "You're not a monster and you will never be. The voices will say the opposite things that in reality is good for you. They will try and pull you away from the ones who care about you, but you need to stay strong. You need to keep believing that it's not too late." I looked at her with shock, how did she know all this. As if Elsa read my mind she answered before I could even ask. "I have heard them too, they were my only companions in all those years of being locked away."
Why does the morning always have to be full of surprises?
--()--
That was one week ago, Elsa helped me shutting out the words driven me crazy. She gave me courage to fight myself in a battle, but is a battle against yourself one you could win?
'You're your own worst enemy, you will never win the fight. You're fighting against yourself, in your own mind.'
I'm still hearing them, they teroris my mind and keep getting closer, everything seems to change again. More often I catch myself listening to the voices, it's getting harder and harder to resist. My eyes were scanning all the windows of the castle, stopping by one that revealed the beautiful posture of the famous Queen. I focused my eyes in on the window, seeing a gorgeous smile appearing to her soft lips. My face fell as a black haired man approached Elsa with that disgusting smile of his.
"(Y/N)?" I felt a strong hand holding my wrist carefully while stroking my skin softly. I growled and tore my gaze away from the talking royals. My emerald eyes showing a ice cold glint, looking into the caring and warm brown ones of Carver. "Are you alright?"
I gritted my teeth and shook my head to keep those awful words out of my mind. "Yes everything is delightful. Where were we?" Carver looked down at his hand and scratched the back of his neck, becoming nervous again.
"Well I wanted....to tell you something." He looked up slightly with a pleading look in his eyes. "Promise me you won't hate me for this." I looked at him and tried to see through his soul, but the voices kept on screaming and my head was spinning.
"You have my word." I said before even thinking about it, he sighed in relief and let go of my wrist that I actually just then noticed was held by his hand.
"Alright, I have something to confess." I quirked an eyebrow and now fully turned to face him. "I-I think I l-like... No, I love you." My eyes widened and I had to tense up my jaw to not let my mouth fall open. Carver looked at me with so much emotions from which I knew I could never return. I was about to speak, but was stopped when a booming voice shouted out my name.
"Miss (S/N), we need you to instruct the new cadets." I turned my head slightly to the side, but just when I was making the movement, my cheeks were cupped by two strong hands. I had no time to let words pass my lips as a pair of rough, but at the same time soft lips connected with mine. I furrowed my brows and placed my hands on his shoulder, that were pressed between his body and mine. All bloody wires, is this man actually kissing me?
Elsa's P.O.V.
I was listening to one of the stories of King Kian who rudely interrupted me from watching (Y/N)'s practice. My eyes slowly moved back to the window to look across the fields again, but I wished I hadn't. I raised my hand to let Kian stop midway his story and walked closer to the window not believing what my eyes were telling me. In the middle of the green field stood (Y/N), but certainly not alone.
"Two young lovers, isn't it beautiful." The voice of Kian reached my ears as he came standing next of me, looking at my love being kissed by his knight. I could feel my eyes burning, tears threatening to fall. I felt Kian place his hand on my shoulder and I didn't make any effort in removing it, I just let it lay there. "Darling, are you alright?" His concerned voice, without a doubt fake, broke the silence, slowly moving his hand to lay around my waist. Why am I letting him touch me? And why don't I slap him for calling me Darling?
I took a deep breath and straightened my back, turning away from the heartbreaking scene playing before me. "Yes, everything is wonderful." I clenched my hand and gritted my teeth. I felt King Kian pulling me closer and I could smell his strong and powerful scent.
"I'm pleased to hear. My Queen, I would like to ask you something." I hummed in reply and waited for him to continue, even if I already knew what he was about to say. He took my hand in his own and stood in front of me. "Will you be mine?" One single tear rolled down my cheek, remembering the night (Y/N) asked me the same, Kian placed his hand on my cheek and stroke away the lonely tear. It doesn't matter what I say, (Y/N) is gone and if I don't say yes to his proposal he could start a war and destroy the Kingdom. I need to think about my people and my duty as ruler, my love has been tested so many times that I'm sure my true love doesn't exist. "My Queen, will you?"
I snapped out of my thoughts, I looked up and saw the King leaning down. I felt like I was chained and could no longer escape, no emotions showing in my eyes. Did I do something to hurt her, maybe it was just me. But I've helped her to control her forces and to ignore the voices, how did I deserve this. Maybe she was just using me after all. I felt sadness flowing through my body, but I couldn't let it show. Conceal, don't feel. Don't let it show. Just when his lips were about to touch mine a storm moved through the corridors and I pulled away from Kian.
Growls were rumbling in her throat and her fangs glittered in the sun that shone through the window. Her eyes were as red as blood and she seemed to be even bigger now than she normally was. She stepped toward King Kian and in one swift motion she pulled him away from me by the back of his collar, turned and send him flying into the wall. I stumble back and looked shocked at the powerful creature before me. I felt fear building inside my heart and clenched my hands against my chest. "You!" (Y/N) walked to the coughing King who lay on the ground, her hand wrapped around his neck. Kian clawed at her hand, gasping for the much needed air. "You did this!" My eyes widened when she started to lean her head toward his neck, ready to sink her fangs into his skin and rip his throat.
"(Y/N)!" I run up from behind her and grabbed her arm, trying to pull her away from Kian, but failing miserably. "(Y/N) please don't do this!" I pleaded, but again didn't reach her, her head slowly moved away from Kian's neck and threw him to the ground. She hissed and hover over me. "I know it's hard, but you have to fight against it." I said with a trembling voice, stepping backwards when she approached me. I was scared, scared of the one I love, or maybe loved. I kept on backing away and couldn't hold back the tears from breaking free, leaving them to stain my cheeks. Is she taking my life away, is this only a foreplay.
I stopped and looked down to the floor, hugging my waist. If this is the end after all, I'm glad I've met her. I closed my eyes when I heard her stopping before me and waited for the peace I would gladly accept. I took a sharp breath, strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me into the famous scent of my beloved. I felt my eyes burning and I could scream right now, if she wasn't going insane, I surely was. I leaned against her to keep myself standing, her nose buried in my hair. "Please forgive me..." A soft and pleading whispering reached my ears and I pulled away. I locked my still slightly shaking arms around her neck and crashed my lips onto hers. I didn't care anymore, I just needed to feel her, to know that she was still here.
"This is unacceptable!" Kian slowly got up from the floor, (Y/N) stepped in front of me protectively and growled at the King. "I have yearned for this power for so long and I will not let a filthy beast take it away from me!" I grabbed (Y/N)'s arm, preventing her from slicing his throat and let my hand move down to hers, intertwining our fingers. "This means war!" Carver came running into the corridor and his eyes directly darted to the creature protecting the Queen with her life. "Carver! Come here!" Carver snapped out of his thoughts and ran to his King, supporting him while they walked away.
My legs buckled underneath me and I fell to the ground, soon followed by a concerned and guilty looking vampire. "My love, are you not feeling well?! Please forgive me, this is all my fault. I could have prevented this, if I just had ignored the voices as you...." I pulled her in by her collar and kissed her passionately, dragging her down with me to the ground. I tangled my hands in her hair, deepening the kiss and savoring her careful and gentle touch. She pulled away to let me breath before slamming her lips against mine again. I slowly started to forget about the world and the emerging war, but this unique moment was broken when a certain servant walked around the corner.
We broke apart when his voice echoed in the hall, making our heads move up. "Your Majesty, I heard..." Kai stopped midway his sentence and looked at the lovers lying tangled in each other on the ground. "I will come back later, my Queen." He made a slight bow and quickly walked away. I couldn't hold back the laugh building up in my stomach and held my hand over my mouth to hide my smile. (Y/N) looked down at me with loving (E/C) eyes as her hand moved up to grab mine, revealing my lips.
She leaned down and brushed her lips against mine, making me shiver slightly. "Don't hide your beautiful smile." She whispered against my lips, placing a soft kiss on my nose, my forehead, both my cheeks and kindly connected our lips again. I smiled into the kiss and after a while I tried to pull away, but she would just follow me, keeping our lips to touch. I chuckled slightly and let one of my hands slide down her body, feeling the leather material of her jacket.
This time I successfully pulled away and smiled slightly up at her, but that smile quickly vanished away. "I think we need to prepare us for a war."
'Drop me down to the dream below, bring me home to the blinding willow. Who stands behind the waving tree, will make my heart edging free. No one will ever know how the story ends, till the words have bend. Those words do affect my mind, but will never come in touch with my pride. It will leave nasty scars, but atleast I will no longer live behind those rusty bars.'