I slammed the front door closed behind me and hastily took off my jacket. What the hell was I thinking going out there? I didn’t owe him anything and yet, there I was, trying to do the right thing only to have it thrown back in my face.
“Cassie?” my father called from the living room. “Are you alright, sweetheart?”
“Yeah. I’m just…peachy.”
“Have you decided what you’re taking to the City?”
He’d asked me to decide if I wanted to pack up my whole room or just take some things and get others to replace the ones I didn’t take.
“Every fucking thing.”
I heard him shuffle around in the living room and then he appeared in the hall just like I knew he would.
“I’m pretty sure your mother scrubbed that word out of your vocabulary a long time ago.”
“I just…” I looked at him. “I hate boys.”
His eyes shifted around, giving me the clue that we’d moved into uncomfortable territory again.
“Um…alright honey.”
“I mean…what is it about me that screams, ‘Bend me over and screw me’?”
“Cassandra.” His face turned a deep purple. “Where did you get that? Where would you even hear something like that?”
“Mom said it once.” I rubbed my wrist since the one clasp of my jacket yanked on it. “When a client shorted her a hundred bucks.” I went into the kitchen to get something to drink and some ice. She’d told me never to say it but I wasn’t going to tell him that.
“That doesn’t mean you get to use it.”
“I know that but still…”
“Is this about Peter?” I nodded and he sighed. “I thought that was over and done with.”
I tried not to let what he said get to me. “Yeah, well, it’s definitely dead now.”
“What happened?” he asked softly.
“Let me ask you a question.”
“Ok.”
“How did you find out we broke up?”
“Honey, I’ve been through break ups before. It’s not hard to figure out. The moment I saw Peter wasn’t here when I got home on Friday night, I pieced it together.”
“Dad, we could’ve just had a fight.”
“Yeah but then Garin started coming over more and…”
“Erik told you, didn’t he?”
“He might’ve left a message on the bathroom mirror after my shower.”
Oh that was gross. That put really weird and horrible pictures into my mind. I shook my head, clearing them out.
“Dad…”
“I talked to Amanda by the way.”
“Who’s Amanda?”
“Amber Frost’s mother. I talked to her about the damage her daughter did to your car…”
“Oh god you didn’t. I asked you not to.”
He shrugged. “I called her after I talked to you that morning. She didn’t believe me, asked for proof.”
“Wait…what?”
“I came home early, gathered up the proof she asked for. She said she still couldn’t believe it but when I showed her the pictures…she recognized Amber’s writing in the spray paint. She was upset and very apologetic. She said it was just Amber’s way of lashing out over the divorce…”
“Wait. That was the night they had a family dinner. The night you were supposed to have dinner with me and Drake.”
He nodded. “I was over there most of the day and when Amber got home, Amanda took her to the other room and grounded her. I hung around to talk to Carter about a business deal and missed the dinner with you and Drake. I asked Peter if he wanted to come back to the house with me, since I learned early on to bring large gifts when apologizing, but Amber asked to speak with him for a second. I got a call as I was waiting for him. I was needed back in the city so I had to go.”
I thought that over right quick, the pieces that was my life falling into place with such clarity, I thought I was going to have a brain bleed. Or throw up. I was nauseous most of the time now but this was different.
“Oh my…god. Dad!”
“What?”
“Why didn’t you tell me all of this before?”
“Sweetheart, I didn’t get the chance. First it was the thing with the spell, then it was Bren and detox. After that it was Peter…” He paused, that uncomfortable look coming back. “You’ve been moping around since it happened. I didn’t think it was relevant.”
“It’s completely relevant!”
“Sweetheart…”
“Is Mom’s spell book back in the library?”
“Yes. I put it back after you finished with Bren. It’s with all her other spell stuff. Why?”
“Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.”
“Think of what?”
“Damn. Call Alma and tell her to check Amber’s room for juniper, elder, dill, and acacia.”
“What? Cassie…”
“Just do it.”
“Why those herbs?” he called as I ran out of the room and to the library.
“She’ll know!”
“But I don’t know.” His voice dropped considerably as I scanned the usual shelf for my mother’s spell book. I found it and grabbed it, opening and scanning for the spell I was looking for and the antidote.
When I found it, I gathered the ingredients I needed and mixed it up quickly. My father came in and watched me.
“What’s going on, Cassie? Alma sounded worried when I told her what to look for…”
“Just…” I put the mixture into a bag and sealed it up. “I need you to drive me over there. Now.”
“Honey…its ten o’clock at night.”
“Dad.” I looked up at him. “You’re going to have to trust me on this. Please. If you don’t, I’ll just drive myself.”
“Alright. Let’s go.”
I ran out of the room and grabbed my jacket and his. He wasn’t in much of a hurry so I had to sort of move him along. He was like Grandpa Moses. We got into the car and he drove like a little old man, the five second drive taking like an hour. Anyone could run faster then he was driving, even me, even Gwen in heels!
The second we got there, I got out of the car and ran to the back door where Alma was already waiting.
“Lass…”
“Was I right?”
She nodded grimly. “I’m afraid you were. Everything she needed could be found in my stores but she had a stock pile in her dresser. The spell is complete, though, and there’s no way of breaking it unless…”
“Someone has the master antidote?” I smiled. “I got it.”
She held open the door for me and I went in, pausing five seconds to think about what I was doing, where I was going.
“Cass!” Gwen exclaimed from where she was sitting at the island.
“Where’s Peter?”
“In his room…but…” I took off up the stairs. “Cass! Wait! You don’t…shit!”
I probably did the worse thing ever since my mother taught me to always knock. And you should, always knock, people. It was a lesson I relearned that night. But I was in such a hurry, and a little more than excited that it all wasn’t true, that I completely forgot that you always KNOCK. When I opened the door…
I was surprised. Horrified. Grossed out.
And a little hurt.
Can’t forget the hurt.
It’s one thing to know about it and hear that it was going on from other people. But it was a whole different thing to see it playing out before your eyes. I stared at them wide-eyed as they quickly covered up.
A blind fold was exactly what I needed in that second.
“Cass…” Peter said a little breathless. “What are you doing here?”
“I think the more appropriate question would be why didn’t she knock.”
Amber held the sheet up to cover herself and wiped a hand over her mouth. I still couldn’t make anything come out and Gwen stopped next to me, completely out of breath. She glanced at what I was staring at and quickly slapped her hand over my eyes. There was no point in it now, the damage was done. I couldn’t erase that image from my eyes even if I tried.
“God, Cass,” she said in a sympathetic voice. “I’m sorry I tried to warn…” She pulled her hand down. “I’m sorry…”
My voice box started working. “I’m sorry…I…ah…”
“Spit it out already,” Amber said. “We were kind of busy.”
I wanted to glare at her, maybe even kill her, but I was still in a bit of shock. So instead, I cracked open my mother’s spell book and started reading.
“Love Me, Love Me
Why doesn’t he love me?
Goddess, my lover has left me”
“You’re a little desperate if you’re resorting to love spells,” Amber quipped.
“I’m not.” I snapped the book closed and glared at her. “You’re the one that cast the love spell.”
The room lapsed into silence, like every one stopped breathing and their hearts ceased beating. Amber and I were staring at each other, her blue eyes wide with surprise. I could see the gears in her head clicking, unable to believe I’d figured it out.
“How did you…?”
“The smell.” I pulled the antidote out of my pocket. “My mother used to treat it. Men would come to the cabin with a sickly sweet aroma.” I tossed the bag on the bed and Peter carefully picked it up. “It was familiar but I couldn’t quite piece it together until tonight. I just thought it was your perfume since you smelled like it too. But I forgot that both the caster and the intended victim would smell. My dad told me about your mom, how he talked to her about the car. How Peter was going to get a ride with him but you asked to talk to him first.”
“I don’t—understand,” Peter whispered. “How…?”
“The first night, she kissed you. That’s when the spell started, I guess. After that, all she had to do was breathe on you, kiss you, or make you drink something. There’s a lot of ways to complete a love spell. Like have you put on an amulet meant for protection and then have you fall asleep. I told you she would try to break us up,” I whispered. “I didn’t think it would actually happen.”
“Oh don’t be so dramatic.” Amber said, propping herself up on her elbows. “It was going to happen eventually. So what if I sped up the process?”
“So it’s true?” Gwen asked, shocked.
“Yes.” Amber rolled her eyes. “No use denying it now.”
Tears slipped down my face and I quickly wiped them off.
“Cass…” Gwen said softly, touching my arm. “I’m—”
I looked at her. “Alma knows how to finish the antidote. Make sure he takes it.”
I left.
That’s probably the easiest way to put it.
I waited for my father outside while he dealt with the mess inside. I was doubled over in my seat, the car door blocking me from view. I was bawling my eyes out when someone came to check on me.
“Cass…”
“I’m fine,” I whispered.
“Lass…”
I looked up at her. “Tell me what you saw.”
“What do you mean?”
“That day, when we met and you took my hand, tell me what you saw.”
“Lass…”
“Did you see this?”
“I’m afraid I do not have that power. You know that. I only saw the possible outcomes of the track you were on, your death truths.”
It was too easy. I’d believed whole heartedly that…
I couldn’t even muster up enough feeling to finish the thought. That sight just stayed plastered across my inner eye, not allowing me to see anything else. I stood up straight and nodded, wiping the tears off my face. I couldn’t take it anymore, I was certain I’d reached my breaking point. The emotional roller coaster I’d been on tonight was just…unbearable.
“Tell my dad I walked home.” I slammed the car door closed.
“Lass…”
“I can’t stay here anymore.”
I started off down the drive, my arms wrapped around myself. I could feel Alma’s eyes on my back, her pity, but I didn’t turn around. I didn’t look at her. I couldn’t.
My phone rang, splitting the quiet completely. I pulled it out of my pocket.
Darken.
We were supposed to talk about…something but I couldn’t remember what it was at the moment. I hit ignore and kept walking. Cars passed by me, their headlights lighting up the road just for a split second. And then it was gone.
Until one car drove passed but then slowed down, pulling off in front of me. I sighed. I should’ve known he’d be here, find me. It was uncanny, like he was intuned now or something. I went up to the passenger side and looked in. Bren sat there, his face illuminated by the light from the radio.
He looked sad.
“Get in.”
I did as he told me, opening the door and climbing in. He pulled back onto the road, inserting the car into the nonexistent traffic. We didn’t talk, he just drove. Ever since I’d helped him get over his addiction, he would show up at the perfect moments and we would just…drive. Like last time, he got on the interstate and drove south. I knew we wouldn’t go far, we never did. He just drove until he knew my head was clear and then we’d go back.
I turned off my phone and put it in the cup holder after sending my father a text about where I was.
“Sister…”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I looked at him. “Whatever words of wisdom you’re about to bestow on me, don’t. I don’t want to hear them.” My own voice sounded weak to me. I could only imagine how he heard it.
“You saved him.”
“Please. He didn’t want to be saved. He looked pretty damn comfortable where he was.”
“You know that’s not true. That’s why you fixed it.”
“How long have you known?”
He sighed. “Since the addiction is gone, I see things clearer, sometimes too clear.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“Like I told you. He doesn’t love her. He loves you.”
“You told me that when you were still addicted.”
“And it still remains true.”
I looked out the window, at the street lights that zoomed by.
“You’d think love could conquer all.”
“No one ever said that.”
“Someone said it because I’ve heard it before. I thought it was the truth. I thought our love could fix…anything. I was wrong. So, so very wrong.”
“It fixed this. You stayed true even when he didn’t and it fixed everything. You cared enough to make it right.”
“How could he not know she cast a spell on him? How?! Normal people would think something was hinkie about loving someone one second and the next…”
“Love spells are tricky that way. You know how they work. You saw it often enough.”
“I don’t care. He should’ve known.”
“Maybe he did.” I looked at him. “Did you ever think that maybe he would have moments of clarity, where he realized it was wrong, but then she’d just strengthen the spell? You were right when you said she was putting off major mojo. The love amulet was so cold she was getting blisters. His was so cracked it was about to fall apart.”
Amulets only grew cold during a love spell when the love wasn’t true. The stronger the spell, the more the recipient’s necklace would crack. Love spells weren’t permanent but on occasion real love would bloom out of them. I shook my head, ignoring my mother’s training.
“Doesn’t matter,” I whispered. “I’ll never get that image out of my head. Every time I see him from now on, or her for that matter, that’s all I’ll see.”
He sighed and propped his head up on his fist.
“I thought the same thing. Granted, I never saw Gwen getting it from behind but still…the hover maneuver she was doing on Tommy still makes me gag when I see him sometimes.”
“I know what you’re trying to do. It’s not going to work.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“It’s really over this time, Bren. I think…it’s really over.”
“That’s not what I’ve seen.” He glanced at me. “You’re on a path now, Cass. Ever since you saw your mother die, the path has become clearer and more defined. After we crossover your uncle…you’re going to need Peter’s support if you want to live through what comes next.”
“What if I don’t?”
He slammed on the breaks and pulled over, the grooves off the side of the interstate to keep drivers awake made the car shake like a martini shaker. When he came to a stop, he put the car in park, unbuckled his seatbelt, and turned to look at me, gripping both sides of my face.
“You can’t talk like that. You are going to survive. You will survive. Your relationship with Peter will get fixed. Everything will be fine.”
“But what if you’re wrong? What if this is it for me? What if my uncle is supposed to kill me? All we’re doing is putting off the inevitable. What if I’m never supposed to be that old woman who dies in bed surrounded by everyone who loves her with Peter holding her hand? The path from here to there isn’t as clear as you think it is, not to me. There are no illuminated spots, none that I can see.”
“Cass…” I closed my eyes and shook my head. “Cass, you have people around you who would and will fight for you. You’ve made yourself a part of our lives, part of our family. We are not some characters in a Stephen King novel where everything goes to shit and never recovers. This is not a horror flick where the scantly dressed teenage girl goes down to the basement just to get hacked to pieces. And you know how much I love those movies. You are not that girl. You do not get lured into the dark just to die. Do you understand me?”
“But…”
“No buts, Cass. The four of us started this together and that’s how we’re going to finish it. We are not losing anyone. That includes you.”
“I just want to go home, Bren. Promise me I’ll get to go home.”
His sapphire blue eyes shined in the dark. He knew what I meant when I referred to home and it wasn’t the house my father bought and restored for me. “I promise you, when this is all over and the sun is shinning again, we’ll take you home.”
I started sobbing and I nodded. He pulled me across the center console and hugged me.
“I’ll make sure you get home, Cass, I swear.”
When Bren dropped me off at home, I stood out on the porch for a little bit, taking in the night air. My presence didn’t go unnoticed, as my father stepped out of the house and walked over to me.
“I was wondering when you were coming home.”
“I just…”
“Went for a drive with Bren. I know. I got your text.” He sighed. “So…”
“Please don’t tell me you have a speech planned.”
“Oh, I do. But I’m not the only one.”
He breathed out and looked at me, that familiar I-did-something-you’re-not-going-to-like look on his face. The only reason I knew what his meant was because I got it, quite often.
“What?”
“He’s been waiting to talk to you.” I groaned. “He said he’d wait all night if he had to.”
“I don’t want to talk to him.”
“I told him you’d say that but he insisted.”
“I can’t, Dad. Can you just…make him go away?”
“Alright.” He pulled me in for a hug. I swore I wasn’t going to cry and I held to it. After he went back inside, I sat down on the swing, tucking my legs under myself.
Arguing came from within the house and I squeezed my eyes closed, knowing full well if Peter really wanted to talk to me, not even my father could stop him. I could get through this, I would survive this. I had to keep telling myself that.
I’ve survived worse.
There was a commotion in the entryway and then Peter burst through the front door, my father doing his best to keep up and stop him.
“Cass…”
“I don’t want to talk to you, Peter. Go home.”
“But I want to talk to you.” He kneeled down in front of me and tried to take my hands. I just moved them slowly out of his reach, placing them flat on the seat. “There’s so much to explain…”
“I really think you should go.”
“Cass…you have to let me explain.”
“What is there to explain? I already know what happened. I was the one who had to tell you…”
“I know, I know, but…”
“I can’t do this with you right now, Peter. I don’t want to do this at all.”
“Cass, please…”
“I think it’s time you leave,” my father said. “This is finished and there’s no reason talking it over again.”
Peter ignored my father and continued looking at me, staring at me. The colors in his eyes mixing and swirling, begging for me to listen. The whole thing was unnerving.
“Peter…”
“I was under a spell. It wasn’t my fault. You have to see that. Please, Cass, please just let me…I want you to understand…”
“I know how love spells work. I know what they do.” I shook my head. “It numbs the love for the one you’re with and replaces it with lust for another. I tried to tell you…but you just didn’t listen to me.”
“Everything I said Friday night and tonight…I’m sorry. They weren’t true.”
“But that’s the tricky thing about love spells, Peter. They play off the small truths so on some level you felt that way.”
“That’s not true, Cass, and you know it. I would never feel that way about you, ever.”
“You don’t get it,” I said angrily. “On some level you wanted to be with her instead of me. You wanted something that wasn’t complicated, you wanted someone who wasn’t…” I let out a breath and shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. What was done is done and it can’t be undone. I can never get the images of you…doing everything you did with her out of my head. It’s there. Forever and always.”
“Cass…” His hands wrapped around the back of my calves. “I’m sorry but it wasn’t me. I never would’ve done any of it if she’d never casted that spell. You know that. We never would’ve fought, been suspicious of each other, or…”
“You picked fights with me. You were confused most of the time, you were being pulled in two different directions but…you could’ve stopped it. Love spells have to be completed the way they were started. They have to come full circle.”
“Cass…”
“If you’d never kissed her in the first place then none of this would’ve happened. Your one mistake spiraled out of control resulting in hundreds and one broken heart. My heart. Not yours, not hers, mine. And you’re just going to have to live with that.”
I got up from where I was sitting, about to go inside, leaving him there but he grabbed my hand. His warmth spread across my palm, wrapping around my cold fingers.
“Please, Cass. You still love me. If you didn’t then you would’ve let the spell expire on its own. That’s what Alma said. She said it was almost finished, that they don’t last. But you came and saved me anyways.” He pulled the medallion he’d given me, and I’d given back, out from under his shirt. “If you didn’t, this wouldn’t be as warm as it is. It would’ve grown cold days ago. I’ve been wearing it since you gave it to Bren to give back.”
“There’s no magic in that stone, Peter. It didn’t help me when I needed it. My uncle almost killed Bren. Do you understand? All because that stupid necklace didn’t work.” I shook my head. “If it runs on love then that should tell you something. The love spell started to work. Didn’t Alma tell you? By the end of the spell, real love can come of it. Yes, the spell numbed what you were feeling for me but you started feeling for her too.”
“No. I didn’t. That’s not true.”
“Then you tell me why that necklace stopped working for me. But it still works for you.” I pulled my hand out of his and took a step away from him. “I hate you, Peter Marks, and I never want to see you again.”