Heartbeat

Song of the chapter-

Collide by Howie Day



Alex-



Harrys car.

A place where I can feel warm and cozy, even though it is impossible to feel warmth while inside it. I assume it's because he's in here with me that I always feel this way, and maybe another cause is the memories of it too.

I didn't ask where we were driving to nor did I say anything at all, really. And neither did Harry. Instead, he put on music from the stereo, songs I'd never even heard before leaking through the speakers as we drove. My heart stutters as he takes hold of my hand, making me glance away from my window to look at him. But he's looking out the windshield, concentrating on the slick roads. I find it amazing that I never even fear getting in crashes while with him.

It's because I trust him with everything.

When rain begins to pelt against the roof and the glass of the windows, I extend my arm and turn the volume nob to the stereo down a bit so I can listen to the peaceful sound. Harry didn't question why I did it, because he knows. I like to lie in bed with him on mornings when it rains, with his blinds wide open so we can listen and watch the beautiful weather.

"You ever been to the train tracks?" Harry asks me, making my eyes flicker over to him.

I shake my head no, and watch as his berry covered lips twitch up a little at the corners. His nose and cheeks are a little pink from the chill in the car, and I can imagine that mine match his. His hand keeps mine warm though, warmer than my mittens could ever keep them.

"Okay." He tells me.

I look back out my window, my arm being covered in chills as his thumb runs over the skin of my hand. I can feel it still. The disappointment and his upset nature towards me. I don't blame him though, not one bit. Because if he'd hurt himself and I was in his shoes, I would feel the same way that he does. But I don't know what to do for myself anymore, and I know he is fully aware of that himself also.

We drove some more, getting further and further away from town. I wondered if I would be able to leave our problems behind with it.

I knew we were headed for the train tracks, a place Harry seems to have a liking for; since a smile had tried to etch its way onto his face even though he was upset. To keep my mind off of that, I strain me ears to listen to the lyrics coming from the speakers.

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

"I like this song." I hear Harry saying, glancing to him as he turns it up a bit more.

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I can't ignore the feeling of Harrys eyes on me as the song floods through the car, his thumb running over the skin of my hand again.

I lean my head against the window, feeling the cold glass against the skin of my face, but not minding it as I savor the feeling of his skin touching mine.

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

When the song ended, it was on perfect timing, because the car stops, and the engine cuts off. When I lift my head off the window I see that we are definitely by the train tracks, his car parked upon the ledge that leads down to them.

"It's nice isn't it?" Harry murmurs from beside me, releasing my hand.

I nod my head without taking my eyes off the pretty scenery. I knew by just looking that if you came here a night, you would be able to see the stars perfectly from here.

"The first time I came here was with the boys." Harry informs me, and I look over to his side of the car when I hear his door pop open, a gust of cold wind flooding into the car.

And even though I am already opening my own door, I expected him to come and meet me on my side of the car as he always does; complaining that I never wait for him to do it himself. But when I'm out of the car he's already sat on the hood, lying down onto his back, broad arms rested beside his head as he looks up at the cloudy sky. And while I tilt my chin up to look at it also in the process of walking over to him, it reminds me of the way his eyes look today. Dark and dull.

I lift myself onto the hood quietly, trying to make it a goal not to press my legs together too much so it won't hurt. He doesn't take his eyes off the gloomy clouds above him as I lay down beside him, knees bent and hands placed on my abdomen. I began to wish I'd remembered to put my gloves back on before I came out, slipping my hands into my pockets.

"You're cold." Harry murmurs, those drowned out eyes that I had just explained shifting sideways to look to me, cold, nimble, gentle fingers reaching out to grasp at the fabric of my jacket, signaling for me to scoot closer to him.

I do so apprehensively, feeling the way his hands were withheld and hesitant with his movements. And as I curved myself against him and rested my head on his shoulder, I wondered if he is doing this just so I will not freeze, or is he's doing it to hold me.



Harry-



Her warmth sinks into me, seeping through my chest. Every touch she lays upon my skin shatters away my stubborn anger towards her. And it's astounding, how she can do that without even knowing or putting an effort into it. She's just being herself, the old shy, bashful, pretty, gentle Alex that I fall for more and more everyday. So it's hard to stay made at her, when I love and care for her being so much.

As I stared up at the clouds with her laying next to me, I began to let my mind wonder.

The big, out-stretching, beautiful cloud above my head reminds me of her. The way you can sit there and study it with your eyes, always finding and discovering a new curve or crevice in its shape and features. It's color is like her eyes, blue, but grey and mysteriously dark all at the same time. It's captivating, just as she is.

I knew that if I would have to compare her to another beautiful thing, it would be rain.

I'm just a mere drizzle compared to her; she can blow me away with anything she says or does. You know the kind of feeling you get when the first drop of rain from the sky hits your skin? That's what it's like when she touches me. Chills raise on my arms and a smile etches its way onto my face at the feeling of it.

And if I were to be rain, she would be snow. Always more stunning and fascinating.

The things I could compare her beauty to are endless.

Oceans, flowers, the smell of lavender and roses. The way the stars look in the sky on a pitch black night, shining bright and noticeable. Her skin brings the warmth of fire, her lips soft like petals of a flower. Her smile is enchanting like the view from the tallest skyscraper there is, something that can take your breath away and keep you looking for a lifetime. Her laugh is something like a entrancing piano melody, something that you wish you could hear all the time.

"I love you."

Her voice murmurs this from beside me, making my heartbeat raise in pace, to the speed of what seems a thousand miles an hour.

"I love you, and you know that. Even if I've been upset with you." I tell her, tearing my eyes off the big cloud above me to look down to its match.

When she leans herself up to kiss my lips, they are soft as petals just as I'd explained.

And when her hand touches my skin, it's like fire against my flesh. Warm and comforting in all the right ways. And this kiss, it took away everything from me. All the anger, all the disappointment. It was all torn away by her affection.

"You shouldn't be able to do this to me." I murmur against her lips, stating the unbelievable things her lips, hands, and everything about her can overtake any negative emotions I have.

I knew she didn't know what I meant by it, but she continues to kiss me, and I proceed to kiss her. Her hands trails down my neck as she rests herself onto her knees, placing them over my hips to have better access to my lips.

Alex basically jumps off of me as the sound of the train coming onto the tracks echoes around us, the whistle piercing through the air in a high pitched shrill. The laugh that flees my lips is of pure amusement by the shock in her eyes, her chest deflating as she lets out a held breath. She slaps my chest, laughing breathily. It's as if our awkward tension had been completely forgot of, her body falling into me as she comes down from her scare, my laughs coming to a cease.

My fingers travel through her hair, and then I remember something I brought along with us, sitting up and detaching myself from Alex for a brief moment to retrieve something from the backseat of the car. Alex's confused demeanor fades as I return with her book The Outsiders, the cover and pages of it cold from sitting in my car as I hand it over to her after sitting back on the hood. She laughs as I lay down again, signaling for her to lay with me.

I don't have to ask for her to read for me, because she knows that's what I want without me having to say the words. So she lays with me, flipping through the pages with careful fingers to find the page she'd folded over from last reading, the beginning of chapter three. And when she does, she shuffles against me a little more, my eyes flicking down to watch her face. She moistens her lips, and then begins to repeat the words on the page.

"After the movie was over it suddenly came to us that Cherry and Marcia didn't have a way to get home."

I was in fascination as I listened, because this scenery, her warmth, her voice, and the sky above me was the definition of perfect.

"They liked the Beatles and thought Elvis Presley was out, and we thought the Beatles were rank and that Elvis was tuff, but that seemed the only difference to me. Of course greasy girls would have acted a lot tougher, but there was a basic sameness. I thought maybe it was money that separated us."

And I knew that I could sit here all day, listening to her read to me.




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