Most writers have probably heard this phrase before. Show, don't tell. But what exactly does that mean?
Well, you have exposition: a comprehensive description and explanation of an idea or theory.
You can't set up a plot and characters without exposition. You need exposition to explain your character's situation and the world she lives in.
Exposition is known more for telling than showing, and that's okay - to an extent.
With exposition comes details, descriptions, actions, and dialogue.
Showing creates images in a reader's imagination. Telling merely catalogs actions and emotions, and can sometimes feel like an overload of information.
Telling and showing can sometimes be confused for one another. The thing to remember here is that telling can always be changed around to show more details.
Another thing to remember about telling is that as long as it's not burdening the writing and distracting the reader (meaning the reader can still understand what is happening and imagine it easily in their minds), then it is okay to have.
When writing a piece of fiction, keep these guidelines in mind to achieve a balance between showing and telling:
• Be brief. Make sure that all of your telling details are actually necessary to advance the plot, either by developing a backstory, establishing the mood/tone, or describing the setting.
• Avoid the dreaded "info dump." Don't overwhelm your reader with information in your story's first few pages. Focus on capturing their attention with a compelling character and an interesting situation, then fold in the details as the plot develops.
• Steer clear of cliches. Never start a story with a character waking up and starting his day—unless you want to put your reader to sleep. (Wattpad writers— including me— are victims of this.)
Gabriel's breathing quickened. Beads of sweat began to form along his receding hairline. He cracked his knuckles. Gabriel had never been this nervous in his life.
So you spot telling in your writing, "but my readers won't know he's nervous!" Believe me, your readers will... if your writing is compelling. Don't underestimate your readers. I find that most Wattpad writers do so by adding details, descriptions, and actions, but then blatantly add the emotion their character is feeling.
Just as the example with Gabriel points out, there is great detail and action, but then it is ruined by adding that last sentence.
Think about it. How many times have you felt nervous in your life and you thought this was the most nervous you've ever been? I can confidently say more than you can probably count. Gabriel might not be young (with his receding hairline), but I'm sure he'll be nervous in another moment in his life. That last sentence is unnecessary and burdens the writing.
If you still can't figure out whether or not your writing is telling or showing, ask the following question: Can the camera see it?
Let's test it out:
When I get outside Watson mansion, I start to feel a bit nervous. I have gone out with boys several times before, but just as friends. Figuring that I am only nervous because this is my first time going out with a boy I like, a stranger I like, I wait on the sidewalk.
- Excerpt from girl_whobreaths_fire's "The Good Girl Stole My Heart" - chapter 5.
Okay, is it showing or telling? Ask yourself: Can the camera see it?
From this excerpt, you may have imagined a young girl nervous for her first date, but do you feel nervous for her? Could you see just how nervous she was? You couldn't. You weren't shown any of this—you were simply told.
It would be easy to change this telling to showing by portraying her emotions physically through actions that suggest the main character is nervous for her first date.
Here's another example:
After the checkup, we went home, and Mom told me about the club and how great it would be. I nodded and told her I wanted to join as soon as possible. My mom nodded and told me I should take a few days to think about it.
- Excerpt from kainatrupanzel's "Gains and Losses" - chapter 5.
Okay, ask the prompt again. Can the camera see this?
As a reader, you are being told what the conversation between the main character and her mother was about. Did you guess correctly? It is telling. How do you make this excerpt show rather than tell? Write out the dialogue. Not only will this show the reader the scene, but it will also add length to your story.
What about this one?
Her hand slid around the large protrusion on her stomach, attempting to relieve some of the weight as she ran. Her back was screaming as terror and weariness ground together beneath her bones. Her lungs ached for more oxygen, but she pushed on, fighting the need for rest.
A lifeless form lying in the dirt caused her to stumble momentarily as her eyes slid over his youthful face; such innocence. Horror was still evident on his features, and she wondered what he saw in his last moments.
She gasped when her husband grabbed her arm and forcefully tugged her forward, spurring her back into action. She couldn't allow herself to end up like the boy behind her. She had to keep going. She didn't glance back at him as she urged her feet forward, following the footsteps of her husband as they both fled.
- Excerpt from kario12's "Fig" - prologue.
Can the camera see it? Actually, yes. It is a description of the scene around her and focusing on action. Adding details and action to a description changes telling to showing. Description isn't telling because the camera can see it. Without description, the reader can't visualize the story; your story can't go forward without description.
Last one:
I walked over to the bathroom, turning the shower on and waited for the water temperature to turn cold. During the summers, the water in the tank became very hot. After wasting 3 buckets worth of water, I finally got normal running water. I stepped inside and took a long, relaxing shower. I let the water run through my thick, waist length black hair and let out a small sigh.
- Excerpt from newbubble's "Foreign Boy Took My Heart" - chapter 2.
Is this telling or showing?
Trick question: This excerpt shows when telling can be vital to a scene. Okay, so the main character took a shower—so what? Well, taking a shower in this main character's home might be different than the way you take a shower. Not only is newbubble describing how her main character takes a shower, but why her main character takes a shower that way. Through details and imagery, Can the camera see it? Yes.
Vivid writing grabs readers' attention and draws them into your story. Showing your audience is a crucial aspect of vivid storytelling. So, in order to avoid the pitfalls of telling rather than showing, remember these points:
• Use strong, specific verbs, and avoid overusing adverbs.
• Provoke emotion through character reactions and vivid writing, don't simply tell readers how to feel.
• Use well-placed details to bring scenes to life.
• Use expressive dialogue to show characters' emotions and attitudes.
Keep these points in mind and your writing is sure to be more powerful and compelling— the sort of thing that will keep readers coming back for more.
Telling is one of the most common mistakes writers make (including me). If you still can't differentiate between telling and showing try these tips:
• If you are self-doubting yourself, separate that particular sentence from your story. Open a new document and take it out of context. Try to see what your reader would solely rely on that one sentence. Ask yourself: Can the camera see it?
• If you still can't figure it out, ask someone else, but present it to them also out of context.
• If that still doesn't work, take a break from writing for a bit. Distract your mind with something else. After some time, go back to it out of context and ask: Can the camera see it?
A/N: The amazing writers I used excerpts from for this part have just as amazing fiction. Go check them out! :)
Also, shoutout to thehiddenblackpearl for asking more about how to differentiate between telling and showing.