Florecer

        Lily brooded.

     What June had told her the night before sunk in, and she brooded about it. She begrudgingly admitted that Tracy's assessment of her had been correct and that she would have willfully remained ignorant about June's feelings until she was forced to face them. But what she found most distasteful about the whole situation was that June and Tracy were in on it together. For how long, she didn't know, but she didn't like being manipulated, no matter how slightly. All of Tracy's throwaway comments suddenly made sense.

     Tired, Lily stayed in her pajamas and lounged around her apartment throughout the afternoon and evening. She ordered in, watched TV, and played solitaire on her laptop. It was actually going well for her, that was until Tracy called repeatedly until she picked up.

     "What?" she groaned into her cell.

     Tracy huffed in irritation. "What is wrong with you?"

     Lily spread her legs and moved her laptop to the couch seat beside her. "I'm really not in the mood for this."

     "June told me what happened."

     "It's none of your business. It never was."

     Tracy sighed. "Well one of us had to do something about it."

     "You had no right."

     "Oh, please. June liked you and I helped her out. So what? You like her right back but we both know you won't let yourself do this. I had to step in."

     "No you didn't." Lily rubbed her eyes with a thumb and forefinger. "Nothing is coming of this. Whatever she told you, however she feels, that's all on you. This is all your fault for encouraging her."

     "Will you stop, please? You like her. You do. There's nothing wrong with that."

     "I know there's nothing wrong with it. But I'm not interested."

     "Yes you are."

     "No I'm not."

     "Lily!" Tracy growled, then exhaled roughly. "I get that you think you're not ready after what happened, but you need to get back out there. It's been too long. And I'm not just talking about sex, either. You've been isolated. Danny and I don't count, okay? You like being with people and you like June, even if you won't admit it. Don't deprive yourself."

     "Tracy..."

     "Give her a chance. Give yourself a chance."

     "I can't do this. I'm not doing this. Stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong." Lily hung up and tossed her cell to the other end of the couch. She dragged her laptop back onto her lap and resumed her earlier game of solitaire. She groaned to herself, unwilling to think about all the things that persistently popped into her head.

–-

     Multiple times Tracy asked Lily to drop off or pick up Danny from school, but Lily adamantly refused. She wouldn't babysit, either. She wanted to be as far as possible from June, who she could run into if she continued immersing herself into Tracy and Danny's lives. It was a childish road to travel but she was prideful. She was far more interested in proving Tracy wrong than resolving issues.

     Unfortunately her caring attitude eventually led her to agree, after at least a week of no's, to pick up Danny from school because Tracy was running extremely late and the final bell had already rung. Lily wasn't the type to make Danny suffer because of his unruly mother. So she hurriedly stuffed her feet into shoes and snatched up her keys and went on her way. She arrived at Danny's school, feeling anxiety creep in when she noticed how bare the yard was. Only a handful of children were left waiting for their parents or guardians. Danny was not one of them. Lily parked, having no trouble finding a spot, and rushed up to the school building. She thought he might be inside hiding from the sun. He wasn't, so she went deeper until she reached his classroom, thinking he was with the teacher, perhaps.

     "Oh, hello," the teacher chirped, surprised. He was standing at his desk organizing art supplies in a strange order. "Did you need to talk about Danny?"

     It took Lily a full second to get over her surprise of the teacher remembering her when she rarely interacted with him. He was probably a great teacher. "Uh, no," she said. "Well, yes. Have you seen him?"

     "Of course. He left with everyone else after final bell."

     Lily's stomach tightened. "You're sure?"

     "Yes... Is everything alright?"

     "Did you see who he left with?"

     "Uh... he stuck close to Christina, I believe. Oh, she's another student of mine. One of his friends. Is there-"

     "Thank you," Lily interrupted in a flash. She hid the intense scowl she wanted to show so as not scare. "Sorry. I feel so dumb. It wasn't my day to pick him up." She spun and started off at a jog, not bothering to stay to hear anything else the teacher had to say. She jumped back into her car and sped off to June's place while barely following the rules of the road. Upset thoughts were bouncing around her skull the whole way.

      She pulled into June's driveway and skidded to a stop before hitting the garage door, then ran up to the front door, simultaneously slapping the doorbell and pressing her car fob to lock her vehicle. The front door opened as she was leaning over further and her car finally beeped.

     "Lily?" June wondered, startled.

     Getting on the right footing, Lily leaned close to the door to peek over June's shoulder. "Is Danny here?" she asked harshly. She brushed past June without waiting for an answer and went to the living room, moving along to the kitchen when she found no one. In the kitchen, giggling and eating hand fruits, sat Danny and Christina. Lily sighed in relief. Then she found herself being dragged back to the living room by a firm hand.

     "What is wrong with you?" June whispered fiercely so the kids wouldn't overhear.

     Lily puffed up defensively. "What's wrong with you? You can't just take a kid like that!"

     "I didn't take anyone! Tracy asked me to pick him up!"

     "You-! Wait. Tracy asked you to pick him up?"

     June threw her arms out. "Yes!"

     Lily deflated. "Seriously?"

     "Obviously. She called me right before school was out and told me she couldn't get him and you wouldn't do it. So, yes, she asked me. Now why in the world did you just invade my home thinking otherwise?"

     Groaning awkwardly and scratching the back of her head, Lily tried to smile. "She told me to pick him up, too. Sorry. I got mad at the wrong person."

     "Why would she tell us both to do it?"

     Lily growled softly. "Because she knew I'd figure out you had him and I'd have to come here to get him, and be forced to talk to you." She started for the front door. "I'm going to kill her."

     "Miss Lily!" Christina squealed just as Lily touched the door knob. Lily forced herself to calm down and turn to greet the girl. "You came!"

     As Lily squatted down to hug Christina, Danny came and joined the party. He hugged Lily as well and asked, "You're taking me home?"

     Lily stood straight and sighed. "No. Yes. I mean..." she growled again to herself. "I don't know. I guess so."

     Danny looked up, squinting, his head cocked in confusion. His little mouth opened but June was first to speak. "Are you hungry?" she asked. "You're already here so might as well, right?"

     Lily bolted her mouth shut. She didn't want to get into a serious conversation in front of the kids, so she nodded once sharply and went with everyone else to the kitchen. She remained silent as June made the kids portable plates and sent them off to the living room to eat and watch TV. When the adults were alone, things got started.

     "I'm so sorry Tracy made you do this," June begun, looking away. "I know you said you needed time to process... everything, but... I..."

     "We're not going to work out," Lily said firmly. She was already turned and ready to leave.

     June's head snapped up. "Excuse me?"

     "We're not going to work out. You and I. It's not going to happen."

     "Wha- why? How do you know we won't work?"

     "We just won't, okay?"

     June shifted on her feet, expression upset. "But why? I know you don't have to explain yourself but... you haven't given us a chance. You don't know. You don't-"

     "We won't work," Lily interrupted, speaking slowly. "You've already said you don't like one-night stands. You want that forever soulmate. I'm not that. I'm... not that."

     "That's a flimsy excuse and you know it."

     Lily frowned. "I know what I'm talking about."

     "You're avoiding what we have for whatever reason and it's stupid."

     "What?" Lily fumed. "We don't have anything! We hung out once or twice and that's it! My reasons for what I do aren't stupid. You... you're stupid!"

     June laughed dryly. "Are you kidding me?" She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned heavily on one leg. "Go ahead, then. Give me your non stupid reasons why you won't admit that you like me. Go. I'm waiting."

     Lily's cheeks heated. "That- is not the issue."

     "Sounds like it is to me. You're avoiding it all. You're avoiding us. Quite frankly, it's childish."

     Though that was correct, Lily refused to acknowledge it. "Did Tracy put you up to this? Did she tell you what to hit me with?"

     "This isn't about Tracy!"

     "So she did school you!"

     June almost roared in frustration. She threw her hands up. "Just admit that you like me so we can move on! Please!"

     Lily pressed the heels of her hands to her temples. She thought how if only she had left before the conversation could start. "Fine!" She dropped her arms and moved her hands dismissively. "Fine, I like you!" She waved her fingers at the air, as though scrambling her words. The admission embarrassed her to no end and drained her as well. Her shoulders slumped and she touched her forehead. "But I'm not ready, okay?" she whispered. "I'm not ready... for any of it."

     June swallowed, her heart speeding up. "Okay."

     Lily looked up. Her eyes were glistening. "Okay?"

     "Yeah, okay." June bobbed her head. "Okay. I'm sorry." She stared for a minute, watching Lily recompose herself. "I shouldn't have pushed you, I know that. But, honestly, now that we're on the same page... I can wait."

     "Don't bother," Lily grumbled.

     "Why not?"

     "There's no point. Since the incident... I'm never going to be ready. Tracy shouldn't have enabled you to do this. She knew- she knows how I feel. I'm not good."

     "No offense, but you seem fine to me." June smiled softly. "I mean, I don't mind having to go through the dangerous stuff. I don't mind having to tell you you're being ridiculous when you think you're not worth enough to be in a relationship- of any kind. I don't mind being with you."

     Lily rubbed the back of her neck in a vulnerable manner. "I know you say that now, but-"

     "Lily, please," June interrupted. "I know you're trying to push people away, push me away, because you think you're going to ruin us, but let me decide what I can and cannot handle, okay? Let me take that chance if I want. Let me make my own choice. I want to try to be with you. Or... at least I want to try to be with you more often. If it doesn't work then I'll admit that you were right. But I want to get there first, if I even get there. We don't know how it'll play out and I'm fine with that."

     Silent, Lily locked eyes with June. She took a moment to gather her thoughts. "I don't want... I'm not..."

     "I know."

     "And you're still okay with trying?"

     June smiled warmly. "Yes."

     Lily shook her head. "This is so stupid," she mumbled. Then, louder, "So what do we do?"

     "We... hang out more. But now we can be a little more..."

     "Intimate?"

     June flushed. "Something like that, yes."

     "Can I have time to adjust to this? I think I need to go home and take a long nap."

     Chuckling, June nodded. "Yeah, of course."

     "Great. Uh, can Danny stay here? I think Tracy needs the trip down here after work to think about what she's done."

     "To be fair, it worked."

     Lily scowled. "I want to add a rule to our whole, you know, hanging out more deal."

     "What's that?"

     "No more talking to Tracy. I don't want her in my business anymore. Our business. I'm not going to have her steering the direction we go in."

     "That's fair. Deal. No more talking to Tracy."

     "Promise?" Lily stepped closer and held out her hand. "Swear?"

     June took great satisfaction in Lily's behavior. She took Lily's hand and shook firmly. "Promise. Swear."

     "Perfect." Lily took her hand back. "Now I'm going home. I'll... call you, maybe."

     "Maybe?"

     "You said I had time to adjust."

     June held up her hands. "Okay, okay. I'll be looking forward to your maybe call."

     Lily bobbed her head, wet her lips, then mumbled a goodbye before turning to leave. She told Danny the deal, that Tracy would be coming by later to take him home, then she jogged to her car after giving him and Christina friendly hugs. She would be going home to take an extremely long nap. She would be thinking about the unexpected relationship leap she had with June. She would not be interacting with Tracy for a long while.

–-

     After a handful of days, after working and emailing and getting sites done, Lily thought she ought to contact June. She had, after all, said she'd call. Granted, it had been a maybe. But she didn't want to seem like she was a liar. So she flopped down in her recliner with her cell in her grasp and called June's number. It took a handful of rings but eventually June answered. She sounded stressed.

     "Hello?"

     Lily hesitated. "What's going on?"

     "Oh," June sighed. "It's you. Hey. Sorry. Christina has a fever and it's pretty serious. Can we talk later?"

     "Yeah, of course. Do you need anything? Can I help?"

     "No, I- actually, yeah. Are you free right now? I have to pick up a prescription but I don't want to leave Christina alone. Can you come watch her for a little bit?"

     Lily was already up and getting her shoes. Christina was a wonderful little girl and she truly did want to help. "I'm on my way." She hung up and jammed her phone in her pocket, heading for the front door. When she was in her car and driving away she wondered if she should bring something over. What, she wasn't sure, but she came to the conclusion that simply being there was enough. Besides, stopping to get something, whatever it may be, would only force June to wait to get that prescription and thus cause June more stress. Lily wasn't going to do that.

     It didn't take too terribly long until Lily was parked, at the curb so June could escape from the driveway, and was heading up to the front door. She both knocked and rang the doorbell. June answered and exhaled heavily in relief.

     "Thank you so much for coming," she said, completely sincere. She had her car keys in her hand and looked ready to bolt. "Christina is up in her room sleeping. Can you just go up and watch her? She's been waking up sporadically and I don't want her to see that she's alone."

     "Yeah, of course. Don't worry."

     June gave a tired smile. "I'll be back in ten minutes at the most."

     "Relax. Take your time. I'll watch Christina, okay? You have to be calm."

     "I know, I know." June scraped her hair back and away from her face. "It's just- the doctor said if this prescription doesn't work I'll have to bring her back to the hospital and... and..."

     Lily held her hands out then lowered them slowly. "Relax. Deep breaths. She's going to be fine. I'll go up and watch her, you'll get her prescription, and she'll be fine."

     June inhaled. "Okay," she said as she breathed out. "Okay. I'll be back."

     "Drive safe." Lily waved until the door was shut, then she went upstairs and to Christina's room. She remembered where it was and stepping inside quietly, checking to see if Christina was up or not. The little girl was in bed, blankets up to her chest, and her head cradled on a plush pillow. Her face was redder than it should have been and her breathing was strange. Lily moved closer to the bed and avoided fallen stuffed animals on the floor as she put herself in the chair she assumed June had been sitting in just moments before. It was a comfortable seat and put her directly at Christina's bedside.

     On the small dresser drawer next to the bed was a frozen water bottle wrapped in a hand towel, a half empty bowl of soup, a thermometer, and a childrens book. Lily touched the bowl of soup and found it cold. She sighed to herself and gave Christina another look over. The poor thing was obviously sick, even in slumber, and Lily felt awful about it. She remembered the times Danny got sick and how terrible it was for him. Sometimes it was just a runny nose and sore throat, but others it was vomiting and crying for mommy. It was hell on Tracy. Lily couldn't imagine how it was for June, but if it was anything like how it was for Tracy, then Lily had to be a stone. She had to be the one that was at the ready with zero emotions so everyone else could cry freely. It wasn't the best job but it was the one that she could do.

     As Lily was staring at nothing, brow furrowed, Christina started to twitch in alertness. Lily didn't notice it at first, not until Christina let out a tiny whimper. Startled, Lily sat up straight and started to coo so Christina wouldn't be scared. "Hey, it's me," she whispered sweetly. "Miss Lily. I'm right here, okay? I'm right here."

     Christina's eyes barely opened to slits. "Miss Lily?"

     "That's right. I'm here."

     "Where's mommy?"

     Lily scooted to the edge of the chair and leaned over Christina's bed. "She went to get you medicine. She'll be back soon to give it to you and you'll be all better in no time."

     Groaning, Christina shut her eyes, but it was obvious that she wasn't asleep. Concerned, Lily touched Christina's arm and rubbed it softly. Christina sighed.

     "Hey, how about I read you a story?" Lily offered, picking up the book on the bedside drawer.

     Christina opened an eye and groaned, and not from pain.

     "Okay, maybe not this story then," Lily chuckled. She put the book down then stood to go around the bed. "What's your favorite book?"

     "I read them all."

     Making a face, Lily stopped at the foot of the bed. "Okay... well, what if I tell you a new one?" It had been a while since she told a story, but she had done it before with Danny.

     "Which one?"

     "Uh... one I know. One that... is my favorite." Lily managed a smile. "When I was hurting, like you, I saw- I mean, someone told it to me. Do you want to hear it?"

     Christina seemed more alert. Tired and distressed, but alert. "Yes."

     Lily nodded once firmly. She remained at the foot of the bed where Christina could see her without trouble and started in on her 'story.' "Once upon a time... No. That's too cliché."

     "Cliché?"

     "It just means that it happens often. A lot of stories start with 'once upon a time' don't they?"

     "Yeah."

     "Well mine doesn't." Lily shook out her arms and started again. "Down in the darkness, there was a girl like you. She was sad and hurt, like you, but she was much, much worse. She-"

     "Where's the darkness?"

     Lily paused. "It's a scary place. It's... not on earth, exactly. It's right next door but you can't get to it."

     "Why not?"

     "Because... You can't. You don't want to. Horrible things happen there to the people who find it."

     "Have you been there?"

     "...Yes."

     "Did you know the girl like me?"

     Lily nodded. "Yes. I knew her. She was my friend."

     "What happened to her?"

     "She... went to the darkness. She got stuck there and couldn't escape. There were monsters there, Christina, the bad kind of monsters, and they were mean. They called her names and hurt her every moment of every day. They made her hurt herself and sometimes the people around her. Eventually they gave her so much pain that she gave up. She gave up crying, she gave up screaming, she gave up everything."

     Christina moved her body slightly. "Is she okay?"

     Lily saw the gloom she had put over the room, and she forced herself to perk up. She turned her 'story' into a story. "Just when she thought the darkness would eat her, something came to her. It was a witch, maybe, or a fairy. An angel of some sort."

     "A good witch?"

     "Yes, a good witch. The witch went to the girl and fought the monsters for her, scared them away with raw power. The witch went to the girl and told her not to be afraid. She taught her how. To not allow the darkness to eat her. To eat the dark herself."

     "Eat the dark?"

     Lily smiled softly. "Eat the dark." She leaned over the foot of the bed, crawled her hands near Christina's feet, and bit the air playfully. "Eat the dark. And the girl did. She took the witches advice and ate all the dark until the monsters were scared of her. She stopped giving up that day thanks to the witch. She found her power and she won. She made it out of the darkness alive and well, and still, sometimes, when things get bad, she remembers: eat the dark."

     "Eat the dark..." Christina whispered in wonder. Then, "Where is she? Can I meet her?"

     "She's around. She made it her mission to help other girls like her, to be like the witch that helped her. So she stays hidden until she's needed. When other girls can't quite fight back, she eats the dark for them." Lily winked and tickled Christina's feet before standing up straight. "She's eaten so much dark that she became a monster."

     "A monster!"

     Lily laughed. "Yes. But don't forget, there are good monsters, too. She is one of the good monsters. She eats the dark for little girls like you so you don't have to. She watches you when you're sad and makes sure the bad monsters don't try to take you away to the darkness. She's my best friend, and I love her. She loves me, too, and she loves you."

     Christina smiled, her puffy red cheeks turning more red. "Did you eat the dark with her? How did you get out of the darkness?"

     Lily sighed and scratched the back of her neck, a tiny smile on her face. "Yeah. I ate the dark. I ate it all up and escaped the darkness. The mean monsters are scared of me."

     "Are you a monster now?"

     "I, uh, I'm part monster, I think. Not as much monster as the girl, but some. Enough monster."

     "Will you protect me from the bad monsters?"

     Lily's tiny smiled grew, and she shuffled around the bed to be at Christina's side. "I'll protect you from all the bad monsters. I'll eat the dark for you and you'll never be taken away to the darkness."

     Christina looked up into Lily's face. "Do you love me like her?"

     "Yes." Lily booped Christina's nose. "Because you're my best friend, and I love you, and I'm your monster, and you love me, too, right?"

     "I love you, Miss Lily."

     Feeling warm, Lily opened her mouth to say something, but June walked into the room, sighing as though she had rushed up the stairs. "I got it," she said to the room, holding a bag so clearly from a pharmacy.

     Lily stood up and rubbed her hands on the sides of her thighs. "Great. I'll let you do your thing." She stepped away from the bed so she wasn't in the way.

     June approached but stopped next to Lily. "Can you go downstairs and get a warm water bottle? There are some at the bottom of the pantry."

     "Yeah, of course." Lily smiled at Christina. "I'll be right back. Take all the medicine, okay?"

     Christina nodded the best she could. "Okay."

     Leaving all the mother-daughter chatter behind her, Lily went downstairs and to the kitchen to the pantry. There were water bottles at the bottom just as June had said, so she plucked one and tossed it in the air to catch it mid-fall. She went back upstairs only to be stopped by June halfway down the hall to Christina's room.

     "Oh. Did you need something else?"

     June shook her head. "No, no. Everything's fine. Christina took the medicine and fell back asleep. I think you tuckered her out."

     Lily chuckled awkwardly. "Uh, sorry. I didn't mean to sap her energy. I just wanted her not to think about the situation she was in."

     "Don't worry, it was great. She actually talked about the story you told her."

     "Oh?"

     "Yes, and... well, I heard it." June was now the one to chuckle awkwardly. "Sorry. I figured I should be honest now that we're starting new."

     "That's okay. You could have come in. It was just a story."

     "Was it, though?"

     Lily pursed her lips. "Mostly," she said after a moment.

     June held up her hands. "I don't want to push. It sounded like that story wasn't really a story, is all. But, uh, I have to say that I liked it. It makes sense."

     "It does?"

     "Yeah. All that eat the dark stuff. I can see now why you're so nice. I like that you turned into a monster."

     Lily rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "I made that up."

     "Maybe. But it's the perfect lore for you, I think. You explained some things about yourself to Christina in a way that she could grasp. And you gave her something to hold on to. You're her monster and she loves you, right?"

     Lily heated. "You heard that?"

     "I did."

     "I... don't know what to say."

     June smiled and took the water bottle from Lily's hands. "You don't have to say anything. All you have to do is nod when I ask if you'll stay longer. Will you stay longer?"

     Still blushing, Lily nodded.