Is the day of evaluation of the initiates. The final stage of initiation. I am so happy to have this done and over with now I get a break. We tell the initiates to get ready and dressed. As we initiate trainers sitting room. I looked over at Four who was leaning against the railing. Staring into space again. He looks like he has something on his mind. The crease on his forehead appears. Reminds me of the same one during our aptitude test. Smile appears on my face as I remember that day.
"Say something." He blurts out.
"What?" I turn and raise an eyebrow.
"Say something to me. This unbearable feeling of emptiness. The silence is killing me. I feel like I'm committing a crime talking to you." I sit there dumbfounded. I don't get this guy. One minute he is there for me the next minute he wants nothing to do with me. He looks at me like I'm trash.
"Why would you feel that way? Because of Eric?"
"Or Jeanine?" My heart skips a beat. I looked down at my shoes thinking of ways to get out of this topic. But there's no way I can. Just face it head-on. I shouldn't have let my guard down. Figures he would put me up to this.
"What are you talking about?"
"I know whats going. After evaluation the serums. I don't know why but I know." He walks towards me as I take a step back.
"To be honest I don't even know what you are talking about."
"So something is going on?" His eyes widen. I back up into a corner where he has me. There's no way of escaping, there's no object I could throw, I have a gun in my waistband but I don't want to use it. I can't hurt him. It's just something I can never do.
"Tell me." He says taking a step forward. Only a foot away.
"Four please. Just let me go." I rest my hand on my gun. he looks down at my hand. Knowing that I won't pull it he's too smart for that.
"I would never hurt you Jade. Never in a million years. You mean too much to me. More than anyone else in this world. I just have to do these things. Because you're on their side." He backs away from me and walks out the door. I breathe out. Didn't know I was holding it in. My heart was racing. It's over I tell myself. He wouldn't hurt me. Eric walks to the door.
"You ok?" He walks over to me wrapping his arms around my waist.
"Yeah, let's get this done." I mumbled.
The dauntless leaders, Erudite counselors, Jeanine and myself watch each one of the initiates. Dauntless born and transfer go through their Landscaping evaluation. They all have done good. But there is one transfer fear that never left my mind. Tris. One of her fears had four in it. Being intimacy. I just cant rid it from my mind. He said nothing was going on. Either he lied or she has a major crush on him. During the rest of evaluation and now I've had a solid block of ice in my stomach. It shouldn't bother me this much but it does. Right at this moment we are putting the tracking devices in all of dauntless. I stand next to Eric and line everyone up. One by one I stick a needle in their next inserting it then wiping it clean. Tris is trying to walk away from the line as Eric excuses himself, he walks over to her. It looks like they're having an argument but he went ahead and stuck the needle inside her neck. I'm going to keep an eye on that girl. For some reason I think she's up to something.
"Next." The process never stops until every dauntless member has a tracking device in their neck.