05.
Eli turned off the ignition and the trio just sat there in the dark car thinking of how stupid their plan was. Jocelyn was the one who broke the silence as she snapped, "So what now, Sel? This was your oh so brilliant plan?"
Selma placed her head in her hands for a moment, taking a deep breath and a moment to think through. A voice was nagging at her at the back of her mind but she just clicked the mute button mentally and sat up.
"As you both can see, my husband is up there in the last floor with the infamous Tiana Walsh. I trust my Jamal with all my heart," Eli snorted at that but she continued, "it's Tiana I don't trust. The plan is simple, we stay here in the shadows and wait till they both come down. Tiana wouldn't want to make a move with the other business associates around so... yeah, that's all."
"Can you even hear yourself, Sel?" Eli asked with a confused look. "Selma, your husband said he wouldn't be coming home early and you want to camp outside his office to see if he leaves. You're being really crazy, we could end up being here all night a—"
Jocelyn placed a finger over Eli's lips to hush him up and whispered, "someone's coming, I can make out two figures." Selma was at alert as she sat up straighter in the passenger seat of Eli's Audi. She had a clear view of the parking lot's elevator from their parking space but Eli had distracted her from seeing it open. Stupid Eli.
Jocelyn spoke again as she placed the pair of binoculars on Selma's laps. "It's your husband, see for yourself."
Selma put the lens over her eyes and could just make out Jamal's perfect bod. He had loosened the top two buttons of his shirt and rolled their sleeves up. As he reached to rake his hand through his hair, the shirt hitched up a little, revealing his olive skin. How she wanted to drip syrup and caramel all over it with a sprinkle of hazelnuts as toppings and then...
"Selma, are you drooling?" Eli's voice broke through her delicious thoughts. "You are drooling. Are you crazy?"
With the back of her hand, Selma swiped across her mouth and chin while Jocelyn cooed from the back seat at how cute the couple were.
"Shut it, Lyn, Selma keep watch. After all, this was your plan," Eli muttered. "I was kind enough to drive you both at 8PM , but I still need my beauty sleep."
"Idiot." Selma tilted the binoculars to her eyes and looked at Jamal's partner; the sneaky troll that meant to have fun tonight with her husband. Tiana placed one hand over Jamal's bicep as she threw her head back to laugh. "Bet the joke wasn't even all that funny," she muttered to herself but felt her friends' eyes on her. "What? I have every right to be jealous, I'm married to that man."
"That man is currently in the parking lot of his Company, laughing with another woman when really, he should be home with his wife," Eli countered and from the backseat, Jocelyn hit him upside the head.
"You're a jerkface, you know that? Don't go around bad-mouthing your best friend's husband just because you don't have an existent love life," Lyn scolded but immediately the words left her mouth, tension built in the car, suffocating them all, until the one who caused it cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that, Eli."
Even though Eli nodded his head once, Selma could still feel the discomfort radiating off of him as he clenched his jaws tight. She was pretending not to have heard the whole exchange by staring intently into the binoculars but a certain sorrow washed over her as she came to a realization that she was selfish.
Selfish for dragging her friends along with her to Jamal's place of work at 8PM just because her life was in shambles; selfish for making them witness her pining after her husband who was still conversing with the witch of the south by her car.
To her defense, she believed Eli's disappearing act for six months would have healed his heart by now but being in this position, she knew that if put in his shoes and she had to get over Jamal, an eternity would be too short a time. She could almost feel Eli's hot gaze on hers, but she refused to say a word as she brought the binoculars to her laps and passed them to Jocelyn.
"I think we should leave, Eli. You were right, we could be here all night." As Eli opened his mouth to convince her that it was alright if they stayed for awhile more because, really, that's an Eli thing to say, Selma cut him off with, "I know Jamal, he wouldn't do anything, it's Tiana I don't trust. She made a move on him once, remember? I just think we should leave, Jamal can handle her himself."
Jocelyn cleared her throat. "Yeah, Selma? Could you like, um, focus? And don't get too upset."
She turned just in time to see Jamal step back from Tiana's embrace and lean down to her cheek. He just wants to peck her, that's all. It's a friendly thing to do. Not too much to get upset over. So why exactly was Tiana holding down Jamal's hands and pushing her lips onto his? And why were her friends holding onto her shirt? Oh right, because she was already opening the car door and stomping over to the troll. Guess her claims were right after all.
"Selma, get back here, what the fuck are you doing? Shit, this wasn't part of the plan, would you—"
But it was too late for Eli to finish his whisper-yelling as Selma had crossed the parking lot and her claws were pulling on Tiana's bun. After successfully turning the husband-kissing-man-snatching-face-eating witch around, she landed a perfectly angled punch on her cheek.
"Ooh, bitch got what was heading her way," someone who could only be Jocelyn echoed as the sound of the contact reverberated through the parking lot.
But Jamal definitely wasn't thrilled as he gritted out, "Selma, what are you doing here?"
° ° ° ° °
Selma was fast to run after Jamal who was heading straight for Eli's car. She knew very well that what was about to go down was all her fault— let's just say Jamal misunderstood her English. As Jamal pulled the driver's car door open, ready to lunge for her best friend's neck, she held his hand and came to stand before him.
"Jamal, just stop and listen, okay? I said Eli brought me over here as in drove me. We came in his car, but the whole time he tried to convince me that it was a bad idea. Just stop, okay?" She watched his chest rise and fall rapidly as he was still outraged but only that those furious eyes weren't directed at Eli anymore, they were on Jocelyn.
"So Jocelyn asked you to come then? You tried to say no but she convinced you to come, yeah?" His breathing was wild and his eyes searched hers intently.
Then, she had an idea what was going on.
Her husband was hanging on a thin thread here, trying to convince himself that Selma didn't make her stupid decision alone and he still had her trust. Trying to make himself believe that she would never do something as stupid as sneaking up on him but that wild look soon faded and a look Selma never wanted to see again came to his eyes.
She averted her gaze from his and pressed down her lips to stop the whimper from leaving her throat. "Jamal, it's not what you think."
Jamal let out a dry, humorless laugh as he shook his head. "No, I'd totally understand if you told me Jocelyn forced you here. Just tell me you didn't pull this move willingly, Selma. Say it and I'd believe you, I swear." She cast her gaze to the ground as tears stung her eyeballs. "Selma, tell me you trust me enough not to sneak up on me."
She opened her mouth but closed it again, shaking her head slowly as Jamal watched her with anger in his eyes. "Jamal, I do," she whispered. "I swear I trust you, I... please don't look at me like that."
Jamal stepped towards her and hissed, "Don't look at you like what? Selma, you just did it again! I... why aren't we okay anymore? Because you broke my trust, yet you are watching my every move? You don't trust me? If anyone should be doing that, it should be me. I should be making sure you're being responsible, because you're far from that."
She let out a gasp as his words stole her air. "Jamal, I know I totally deserve your anger, I'm so stupid and all, but you don't really think that," she whispered but it sounded like she was saying those words more to herself, "do you really think that?" She reached back for Eli's car to keep her from falling off her feet.
"I don't need to answer that. Look back at tonight's events and you'd know yourself. Goodnight."
Selma lost track of time, watching Jamal walk away from her to where his car was parked. Tiana had zoomed off in her own car, a good move considering how bad everything had turned out for Selma, and Jamal was unlocking his own. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and another pulling her in for a hug. Jocelyn's arm circled her back, letting her shirt soak all of Selma's tears.
Jocelyn finally spoke, "I could come speak with him, you know, and explain everything. I'd tell him I forced you to come here and that bitchy Tiana sent a text that she wanted to steal your man. C'mon, Halpern will understand that, he's fucking whipped. He just needs to know you really trust him."
But that wouldn't cut it. She didn't know what she did wrong the first time, but she just did it again. And as Jamal drove away, she knew she wasn't thrilled with herself either.
-
Rae snorted in his sleep, rolling over, his lips pursed in a cute pout. Selma's lips pulled into a sad smile as she met Mia's eyes. The nanny had offered to stay the night just for her. Her selfish act.
"Selma," Mia started, "I know it's none of my business, but I do hope you and Jamal work things out. I've seen how you two were, and I have no idea what changed but I have strong faith in both of your love. I always tell Francis that both of you are relationship goals," that made Selma smile again, "and because of that, I know things would be okay. Jamal still looks at you exactly the way he used to but with a hint of sadness. Like he's fighting with himself.
"You shouldn't give up on him, Selma. If not for anyone, for your own happiness. Every relationship has ups and downs but this isn't rock bottom yet. Surely, you'll see, things will work themselves out."
Selma blinked back the wetness in her eyes, while she mumbled, "I know, Mia, I just... I know. He keeps fighting me after we've come so far together, Mia. So why now? Why is he fighting his feelings for me? His wife?"
Mia handed her one of Rae's dry towels to wipe her eyes. "Whatever it may be, I've always known you to be stubborn and forward, not in a bad way though. Since we met, I noticed how you always went ahead to get whatever it was you wanted, not letting anyone tell you otherwise. You're an amazing person, Selma, so would you listen to my advice?"
Selma sniffed. "Of course, Mia. Jamal and I see you more as an elder sister than a nanny, so I could really do with it."
Mia turned to face Selma squarely. "Jamal still loves you, right?" Selma nodded. "That's enough to get him back. You made him love you, so why don't you do it again? Love is just like a wand, you use the right spells and it will work magic. And that's all you have to do."
Mia's last words stayed with Selma even as the nanny bid her a goodnight, leaving her and her sleeping son alone.
-
The longer clock hand struck twelve and the shorter one stayed on the preceding number. 11PM. Jamal still wasn't home. Selma shifted from her previous position, the couch was becoming uncomfortable. Muttering prayers to herself, Selma continued pacing the sitting room.
She reached for her cup of coffee on the table, but the burn never came when she downed the drink. This was the first time she was letting herself drink it since she made it twenty minutes ago. Her drooping eyes were enough to show just how tired she was getting as time went by.
Like the other ten times, Jamal's phone went into voicemail when Selma dialed his number.
This number can't be reached at the moment, please leave a message at the beep.
Beep.
"Jamal, where are you?" Her voice was wavering. "I'm so sorry, my love. I'm the biggest idiot ever, I know. Just come home either way. I'm waiting up for you, and..." she thought of anything to convince him. "Rae, as well. Rae refuses to sleep, he just keeps rolling around in his bed. And it's your turn to tuck him in today."
She hoped that was enough for him to run home.
And she wasn't wrong, because some minutes later, she heard his car pull up into the driveway. Two doors slammed and Jamal was in the living room, yet seeming so far away. To her relief, he was completely sober, eyes glinting in the semi darkness of the living room.
"Jamal —"
He raised one hand to shut her up. His footsteps were slow and unsure, coming towards her. "I could never do that, Selma, and most especially not with Tiana." The cold edge to his voice sliced through her skin.
"I know."
"No, you don't." Despite how low he said that, the words still came out stronger than if he had shouted through a megaphone. "You don't or you wouldn't have come to my place of work after I told you I had a late conference with Tiana Walsh and her associates. I had been postponing our appointments from the very beginning, for three weeks, and we needed to reach a compromise, the reason why we were at Dolce two weeks ago. We—" He was explaining himself. She was feeling guiltier.
"Jamal, no. You don't have to."
"Apparently, I do, or next time I have a meeting with a woman, you would come barging right into the conference room."
That stung a little.
Selma raised a hand to hold his wrist. "I won't. It was all a mistake and you should understand that Tiana is hard lim—"
"Don't complete that sentence because I'm not fucking Christian Grey who understands that term oh so well."
Selma eyebrows furrowed as she stared at Jamal with dilated eyes, filled with confusion. The fact that he knew that was completely beyond her. "But Jamal, she tried it once before! It wasn't you I was watching, I was only trying to keep you safe."
"I don't need you to do that," was all he muttered before walking away, "you can have the bed to yourself from now."
She just officially fucked her life up the more.
-----
Teaser: "Selma, why aren't you wearing your ring?..."