I try to focus for the trip the whole time but it's kinda hard when your sick good thing is I'm not alone Dessy is to. I still haven't called mom and told her and its been nearly two weeks, me and Dessy decided it'd be best if we did when we got home we figured they throw us a welcome home party, what a great gift to give them the news of my pregnancy now that I think about it gets worse and worse every time I think about it. "Do you want anything to eat?" Andrew asks for the thousandth time I sigh. "No Andrew I'm fine" I say simply he nods and kisses my forehead I rub it and sigh heavily again stupid head aches I have them so often it's unreal. " Do you have a headache again?" He asks. "Like usual but I'll get over it in about nine months" I smile half heartily so I can convince him. He smiles.
"Yeah, I know it's exciting" I shrug. "I mean it would be if I wasn't so sick and actually could enjoy it like you" I say he rubs my back. "I promise, it'll be worth it" he says I smile.(A/N remember this?! Peeta said the exact same thing❤) I yawn, "hey, take a nap and I'll go hang out with the guys ok?" I nod and he kisses my head he closes the door and i instantly fall asleep.
I wake up to a light shake and see Andrew I smile. "Hey," I say in a raspy voice. "Hey, we're all going out and since you don't feel well you can stay here we'll bring you back something to eat" I nod. He's about to walk off when I grab his hand. "I love you" I pull him down and give him a lingering kiss and he smiles.
"Love you to" with that he walks out.
I sit in bed in a baggy T-shirt and that's it basically I've been trying to get up but so many thoughts have raced through my mind. I can see my mother's face now disappointed filled my father passed out on the floor and my eyes brimmed with tears. I push, away the thought before I actually cry for real I almost ate a pickle today they are soo gross!! I literally started crying because of stupid puppies! God, I don't know why but it's stupid that I'm.crying at stupid things!
Probably stupid hormones! Mom said when she was pregnant with Rye her emotions were crazier than when she had me.
Then I find myself crying again about my mother being pregnant and stupid puppies because they are babies and I'm having a baby!
"What the hell?!" I yell at the top of my lungs in frustration as tears stream down then the phone rings scaring me I flinch and walk over to the phone and answer. "Hello?" I ask. "Hi, Willow its mom!" She says happily. Damn damn damn!!!
"Hey, how are you?" I ask. "I'm good, honey listen I was over at Haymitchs house and he started rambling on about a baby? Do you know anything about that?" My eyes widen as I try to come up with a good excuse I feel like to cry more but I hold it in as I start to speak, "was he drunk?" I ask giggling hysterically. "Yes, and that explains alot" I giggle and then burst into tears and mom can hear because my sobs are quite loud. "Willow what's the matter?" She asks concerned. "Have you ever regretted something so deeply you just wished you wouldn't have meet the person and....wished you could start over?" I say taking deep breaths to calm myself. "Is it Andrew?" She asks. "Why do you automatically assume it's Andrew! Damn it! Mom please just- I gotta go!" I say angrily I hang up mad and sad I cry while sitting propped up on the ottoman i hear the door open downstairs followed by laughter. What I said to mom on the phone before I got mad..... I don't know if it's true, I want to so badly not see it that way, but really I know my choices have been fairly displayed a mistake but I don't want to look into my future and say my son or daughter was a mistake or Andrew I don't want to look at him every day and think it was a mistake I didn't want it to be this way so confusing so.......mislead.
I want to try and see the right way but......
Is there actually a right way?
Soon Andrew walks in and comforts me, he understands that my emotions aren't right, so he doesn't question it. If he did now I'd cry more uncontrollably and probably say profanities. "It's ok, I know Shh" he says soothingly rubbing the side of my arm gently. "I can't do this-" I say softly. "Why not?" He asks in a coo. I sit up and look him in the eye.
"It's times I confess..."
Halo! I know I know still sorta short but for the next chapter to work I had to do this! Anyway..... I got in trouble with my parents so I'll only be allowed on my phone 2 hours a day! Ughhhhh that means I update a day! I know it sucks but I'll make sure to make it count for sure! Later
Lovely people's!!!
-CLH😜