I woke up to the sound of faint snoring. I looked towards the floor where the sound was, Cas was sleeping.. Shirtless... In my room.? I looked down, still had pants on, good.
"Cas!" I yelled. He sat up, startled.
"Why am I in your house, Dean..?" He asked.
"I.. I don't know. What happened last night?" I asked, hoping we didn't do anything while we were drunk. Cas looked away then back to me.
"You don't remember..?" He asked. I shook my head. "You kissed me and when I resisted, you pleaded..." He said while putting his shirt back on.
"I-." I stopped. I didn't know what to say.. I wasn't really 'drunk', just buzzed.. I knew what I was doing. I was hoping it was a dream but it wasn't because Cas remembered it too. "I'm uh.. Sorry.?" He looked at me weird.
"Don't be, you were drunk, you didn't have any control. I should probably leave.." Cas said, standing up.
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"Goodbye, Dean." I said, walking out. I remembered where my shoes were once I reached the door. I put them on and walked outside, the air outside feeling like pins and needles against my face. The air was cold compared to the hot air inside Dean's little house. I wish I could have stayed and felt Dean's soft lips against mine once again. It felt so natural unlike other drunk kisses. I've kissed guys while I was drunk but it was never like this. He was so calm and collected , not sloppy.. Maybe he's used to drunk kissing.. I reached my house and took a deep breath before going into my own personal Hell.
"How was your boyfriend's house, faggot?!" My drunk father screamed.
"He's not my boyfriend and what's it matter to you how it was?! You never cared about it before." I yelled back at him before going into my room. I bolted the door so he couldn't get in. As soon as I got up the stairs, I fell to my bed and cried. I have really no idea why I'm crying. "Get ahold of yourself, Cas." I said, sitting up. I looked down and sighed. "It was never like this when my mom and Gabe were around.." I whispered to myself as more tears travelled down my cheeks. I changed my clothes into something that I haven't worn already. I threw on an old pair of blue jeans and a sweatshirt. I needed to get out of this house. I picked up my iPod, plugged in my headphones, and put my phone in my back pocket. I walked down the stairs and unbolted the door. I opened it and then shut it as soon as it opened and ran to the front door. The air bit at my cheeks as I put in my headphones and turned on Astronaut by Simple Plan. I hummed along to it as I walked towards the pond. The trees and pond always looked so beautiful during the fall. I sat on the bench and threw rocks into the pond, trying to see if I can reach the other side. I heard a familiar engine purr and turned to see Dean driving down the street. Something in my mind told me to wave but the other side of my mind told me not to, that it wasn't worth it. I wish I could go to him and tell him how much I like him and hold him in my arms but that's just an unrealistic fantasy of mine. I sighed and stood up, leaving the beautiful pond. I was listening to World So Cold by Three Days Grace so I couldn't hear anything besides my humming. I walked to the cross walk and started walking.
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I saw an abulance and police car floor it past me. I tried to ignore it and was doing pretty good until another two cruisers went by. I turned my baby around and headed in the same direction the cops and medics were going. There was cars for about 100 yards. I got out like almost everyone else an walked towards the commotion. I saw three medics leaning over a person and cops pushing pedestrians back away from the four people near the pavement. I looked over and saw who they were putting onto the stretcher.
"Cas!" I yelled over the screaming people. I looked towards the car who hit him. No one I knew. I pushed further toward Castiel being lifted to the stretcher and yelled his name once more.
"You know him?" The cop asked me. I looked over to him then back to Cas.
"Yeah, he's my friend." I choked out. I looked down and tried to think. Did he purposely walk out to the car because of... No.
"Hello?!" The cop yelled. I looked up and gave him a confused look. "I said are you riding with him?" He asked. I shook my head and walked back to my car. I got in and blasted Fade To Black by Metallica. I rode to the hospital and waited until the nurses said I could go in and see him. I wanted to make sure he was okay.
"Hey, Cas.." I said, knocking as I opened the door.
"Hi... Dean." He said with trouble. I looked down.
"Did you know the car was coming..?" I asked with no control over it. I mentally swore at myself. "I mean d-."
"What are you saying...?" Cas interuppted, looking at me weird. I looked back at him.
"Did you see the car before you walked out into the street..?" I asked, trying to make it sound like I wasn't trying to ask if he was trying to off himself.
"No way, are you crazy? If I saw the car, I wouldn't walk out into the street, duh!" He said, laughing slightly.
"Hah, you're right." I replied. He looked down.
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I just want the pain to stop...