Zach was in panic now. He honestly didn’t know how Hanna entered his room before he did.
“Get out,” he told her through clenched teeth, his voice cold.
“Zach, come on…” Hanna purred, pushing the only covering she had aside.
In normal circumstances, he would have jumped on the bed, but he was just furious and in a great deal of panic to even consider some chemical response at seeing her gorgeous body naked on the bed. “Get out, Hanna,” he said stonily.
“Zach, I know you want this…”
“Fine, enjoy yourself,” he snapped and walked out the door. He almost ran to Julianne’s door and when he reached it, he knocked. “Jules.” No answer. “Jules.”
“Go away, Zach. I’m sleeping.”
“No, you’re not. Open the door and let me explain.” He knocked once again. “Jules.”
He stepped back in alarm as the door suddenly swung open. “What? You don’t have to explain anything,” Julianne’s voice was as blank as her face.
“I swear I didn’t know she was there, Jules.”
“Yeah, right. I don’t really care,” she started to close the door again and he stopped it by one hand.
“Jules, come on, you know I was with you not five minutes ago.”
“And when you didn’t get what you want, you jumped right to the next one. I get it. You don’t really need to explain, Zachary,” she pushed the door close as she said, “and forget about that talk tomorrow.”
“Jules!” he cried out as the door finally shut at his face.
“Zach, what are you doing?” Hanna was standing beside him now fully dressed. She eyed him suspiciously then looked at Julianne’s door. “Was it Julianne who came in earlier?”
“What?”
“Was it Julianne? Why are you outside her door?” her eyes were getting really angry now.
“No, it was not Julianne. Go back to your room,” he started walking around her.
“I’m sure I heard you say her name earlier in the room…”
“You are drunk. You were imagining things. No one came in.”
She suddenly appeared lost. “No one?”
“Yes, so go back. And Hanna, don’t do that again,” he warned.
Her face colored and she nodded.
Zach couldn’t let her or the other girls know about his interest towards Julianne. It would make things difficult for her. But he also had to explain himself.
He slammed his door closed and groaned in frustration.
How could things turn out this way?
*****
Zach was sulking the next day. Julianne wasn’t even looking at him and she was avoiding everyone that even the camera men noticed and were wise to avoid her.
And every time Zach saw Hanna, he wanted to strangle her. He wanted to drag her towards Jules and order her to tell her nothing happened. He couldn’t do that though and he knew that. Hanna herself was avoiding him, her face flushing every time her eyes met his. At least she felt shame at what she did, he thought.
The only person who didn’t have any idea—apart from the crew and Liam who already went home after breakfast—was Tanya, and she was regarding them with a curious look.
“Did something happen that I don’t know?” he heard her ask Hanna.
He was sure Hanna would never tell a soul. She would never tell anyone that she was rejected the other night. “Nothing,” was her response.
As the girls went up to gather their things, Zach took the chance to talk to Julianne again.
“Before you say ‘get out’, I want you to know that nothing happened with Hanna last night,” Zach said in haste, barging in her room. Julianne looked up from her task of arranging her bag, her face unreadable. “Jules, you have to believe me. I didn’t know she was in my room!” he explained with his hands, wanting to shake her, to get her to reveal any reaction. Anger, frustration, bitterness, or if it was possible, relief, that she was feeling something. “Jules, I’m telling you the truth,” his voice was getting desperate.
If Liam was around and witness what was happening, he would be laughing his ass out by now.
“You don’t need to explain anything to me, Zach,” was Julianne’s deadpan response and she continued folding her clothes.
“I want you to know I did not plan anything like that. Well, I did, but I wanted it to be with you. She just…I don’t know how, but she just appeared on my bed like that.”
“And you just happen to be half naked as well. Right,” Julianne scoffed.
“I was getting ready to sleep and I didn’t see her, honest to God, I didn’t! When I turned on the lights, she was there and then you came in,” he explained hurriedly. “Jules, tell me you believe me.”
*****
He looked at her inquiringly and his eyes were telling her that her answer was very crucial. She had a long time to think last night and mind you, she thought of every possible reason she could think of. And his excuse was one of the things she considered.
Julianne sighed and looked at him, “I believe you,” and then she held up a hand to stop him when he made a move towards her, “but I’ve had enough. Just…spare me.”
Zach stood frozen, his smile wavering. “What do you mean?”
“It means I don’t want anything to do with you, Zach,” she answered. “Look, I get it. This is your world,” she spread her hands in the air. “Things like last night happens every time for you like a...like an everyday birthday party. I can’t handle that. I’ll be leaving after the top four and I don’t think I want complications.”
“I don’t know what you mean…”
“What I mean is…just spare me with the little games. I don’t want what happened last night between us to happen again. It will only make things complicated, so don’t think you have something to answer for. Don’t think that you have a responsibility to explain what happens to you every time because I don’t want that. This is a show meant to entertain other people and I don’t think I can mix myself into it. I can’t separate my emotion from what is happening in this show anymore,” she finished.
A very long silence reigned between them that she could even hear the ticking of her watch. Zach’s face appeared to be confused for a moment and then he frowned. “Jules, are you telling me you like me?”
His statement made her jaw drop. “What? Where the hell did you get that?”
“You said you can’t separate your emotion from what is happening in this show anymore. It says you were really affected by what you thought was happening between me and Hanna last night, which means you have feelings for me.” That stupid grin of his broke out on his face again. “You like me.”
He totally nailed it. She couldn’t believe he would have caught that part of her speech, dissected it, and finally came up to the exact conclusion. “You’re overanalyzing things, Zachary,” she said.
“No, Jules, you like me!” he was almost jumping on his feet.
“Of course not.”
“Then stay. Stay until the end,” he said without hearing her.
“What do you mean?”
“Stay until the show is finished.”
She looked at him, “No, we had a deal, Zach. I’m only after top four. Which means you will let me go home when you choose the top three,” she reminded him. “So please, don’t make this any more complicated for me. I have more important things to think about than…” she trailed off.
“Than what?”
“Nothing,” she snapped and closed her bag. “Let’s go back to the island. I don’t like this place anymore,” she announced and walked to the door.
*****
Jules cursed herself for not handling the situation earlier as she had planned. She could have convinced him they were not going to work but somehow, she said something wrong and now Zach was looking at her with amusement.
They just climbed on the boat and were on their way to the island. Hanna and Tanya were talking to themselves, whispering something that seemed so important. Whatever it was, Julianne got the feeling that it was not really good.
No one said a word the moment they got out of the boat and jumped back to sand. Hanna and Tanya, to Julianne’s great surprise were too eager to go back to the cabin that they did not even linger beside Zach which gave him the opportunity to talk to her again.
The cameras were still rolling and he was careful with his words when he said, “I’ll see you soon, Jules. We really need to talk.”
“Yeah,” she answered for the sake of the camera and walked off ahead of him.
When she entered the cabin, everyone were huddled together, their heads merged as Tanya chatted on. And then they stopped when they sensed her presence. Only Pauline jumped up and greeted her.
“Julianne! How was it?” she asked.
“It was…okay,” she shrugged. “What are they talking about now?” she asked when Pauline came near her.
Pauline looked back, turned to her, and pulled her towards the stairs by hand. They went to their room and her friend said, “They were talking about you,” as soon as the door closed.
“What about me?”
“Hanna said you planned to go into Zach’s room last night but then she was already there doing…you know,” she cringed.
Julianne gaped. What a bitch!
I bet she won’t like it when I tell everyone the truth…she thought.
But she wouldn’t do that. What for? All of them—including Pauline—were fighting for Zach’s attention and she was not willing to stoop down their level and join the game. She was here for a different reason. She would not do anything because of Zach.
She didn’t know if she could convince herself of it all the time though.
*****
She couldn’t sleep that night. She never saw Zach after they arrived at the island, but it was him that was running around her mind all day. That passionate moment they shared last night was eating inside her and she couldn’t get the picture—and the feeling—out of her system. While the girls were having their late night dinner, she crept out the back door and went to her tree. Yes, it was her tree now.
Julianne couldn’t believe that a lot of things happened to her here that she never imagined. She had really thought that she could go back home that first Rose Ceremony. Who would have thought that Zach would be stupid and naïve to even pick her?
As soon as the lights came out inside the cabin, she got up and came in. It was nearly midnight, she noted, and she decided to sleep off whatever she was thinking. Pauline was already asleep and she crept slowly inside. She found her computer on the bed, still on. She forgot to turn it off earlier. Looking at the blank screen, she had the urge to write but nothing—not a word—came to mind.
She’d start on that tomorrow, she thought.
*****
They were yet again surprised by Brent the following day by announcing that they would be playing volleyball by the beach. Julianne was never good at sports, but she had to join. There were only ten of them and there would be five members each team.
She feared balls coming her way and she was right about it because the girls of the opposing team, Hanna, Chloe, Tanya, Penny, and Kim were making it sure that the ball landed on her. If only she could do some really good spikes, she would have cracked their brains open with the ball like what they were obviously trying to do to her.
Her team mates, Pauline, Stella, Jenny, and Amanda were shouting at her for not hitting the ball right. She was saying sorry every freaking time and she was starting to really hate the word.
Zach was watching with Brent, his face shadowed by the sun. His fixated gaze on her was not helping either. Obviously, the other girls were desperate to win his attention by slamming the ball hard towards her. They must have figured out she was not really good at it because of her poor eyesight.
*****
Zach was getting furious. The heat of the sun was not helping either. In fact, it was boiling his blood high. Julianne was obviously not doing well and the girls were taking advantage of it.
“Don’t you think it’s time to cut the game short?” he asked Brent.
“They’re enjoying, can’t you see?” Brent asked, eyeing Chloe and Hanna. “Just look at those buds, man…”
Zach was not paying attention. His eyes were locked on Julianne and from the look on her face, she was near outburst. “I think Julianne’s not feeling fine.”
“Of course she doesn’t. The ball’s been hitting her hard since they started. She really needs to get those eyes fixed,” Brent said without taking his eyes off his subjects.
“Hey,” Jack Carter’s voice said behind him. Zach turned and saw that the man was wearing a concerned look on his face. “I don’t think Julianne’s doing great. Can’t you do anything to stop this?”
Zach’s temper snapped and he pushed away from the bench. “You don’t really have to tell me that. I was just about to do that. Just go back to you work,” he said under his breath, his words intended only for the man’s ears. And then he turned away. “Okay, ladies, why don’t we stop this? The sun’s really hot and I don’t want any of you dehydrated. Let’s go get some drinks!” he announced and he heard Brent’s groan behind him.
“I think we won!” Chloe announced proudly.
Zach forced a smile, “Yeah, you did.”
He stopped Julianne when she passed by him. “Jules, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she walked away with Pauline.
Of course she isn’t, she was hit by the ball a number of times, his brain said. His face shadowed with anger when she stopped to talk to Jack Carter.
Jealousy was not a feeling he was good at and he was not handling it well at the moment.
*****
While they were having lemonade, Brent urged them to gather around him, Zach included for a little interview.
“So, how are things so far?” the host asked. The cameras were rolling all around them in every direction. Julianne, as what she always did whenever something like this happens, chose to sit back and listen and observe.
“A lot of surprises,” Chloe chimed in.
“Surprises?”
“Yes, like when we went fishing the other day when Zach went to Vegas with Tanya and Hanna?” Chloe answered, deliberately leaving out Julianne’s name. “We didn’t know there were sharks in that cave! It was such a big surprise, really.”
Zach frowned. “There were sharks?”
“Yes! I nearly got killed, didn’t you know that?”
“Uh, Chloe, I don’t think there are sharks around this area,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Well, that time there was,” she said simply. “And then, what else was the surprising thing again?” she turned to Tanya and Hanna, and then her eyes travelled to Julianne.
Something told her something nasty was going to come out of the bitch’s mouth.
“Oh, yeah, well, I don’t know if this is surprising, but someone told me Julianne was so bold during Vegas and that she came inside Zach’s room. And oh, did I mention she is J. Green, the author?”
Everyone was silent for a long moment and those who were familiar of her pen name turned to her with awe. And those who weren’t were probably focused on the first revelation that they threw her an incredulous look.
But Julianne was stunned. She didn’t care what everyone thought about her coming in Zach’s room.
She snapped her head at Zach, glaring at him with accusing eyes. He was the only one who knew about her being J. Green.
But he looked as stunned as her as well.
But no one knew about it other than him, she thought.
She was just about to jump on her feet when Zach’s voice boomed. “Where the hell did you get that, Chloe?”
Julianne froze in the couch—well, everyone froze. Even Jack Carter who was seated behind the cameras was stupefied. The shock of Chloe’s revelation was still in the air, but Zach’s sudden angry outburst was more shocking. That voice, that tone, was a complete stranger to everyone.
She looked at Chloe and the girl was as pale as paper.
Zach was on his feet, his eyes boring into Chloe, his lips pursed, and his jaw clenched.
Oh, oh, Zach was obviously not happy and he was really angry—for the first time.