The next morning when Emaia woke up, she had prepared a speech in her mind. She was all set to talk to Aide – only he was nowhere around.
"Haven't seen him since this morning," Dashel told. "He left at the crack of dawn and said something about checking out the road ahead, and that he'd join up with us later."
So Emaia would have to wait until they arrived in Daleon. They couldn't really have this talk on the road. They would reach the city today, with a bit of luck, and maybe then she'd get a moment to talk to Aide.
But as the group started heading towards the City of Daleon, Aide didn't show up. Emaia was really starting to grow worried. Had she really scared him off?
By nightfall, they reached the city gates of Daleon. They checked in to separate Inn's, like at The Western Coast, and were all prepared to give their speech in the morning. But Emaia couldn't fall asleep.
Where was he? What was he doing? Was he mad at her? Obviously he was. But she just had to talk to him. She needed to confront him.
Her head was all flustered as she finally managed to fall asleep that night, after many tosses and turns. She hoped it wouldn't affect her public speaking skills in the morning.
-*-
"...and that is why we must stand up against Ragnar, and fight for our freedom!"
The people of Daleon cheered loudly, clapping and shouting their support. The City of Daleon was known for its exotic fibers and fine clothes. You didn't find finer threads in all the kingdom – that was, until the man that Emaia was meant to marry had raised a war against them, after they denied him supplies. In other words; her ex-fiancé started a war against these people, because they had refused to provide him with fine clothes.
When the people of Daleon had asked the King for assistance, he had turned them down and stood eerily by, as they got slaughtered and conquered by another town. Ergo, the people of Daleon hated the King.
Emaia smiled to the crowd, who looked up at her with hope in their eyes. The rebellion was there too, getting motivated by her words. But was one face missing.
Emaia stepped down from the platform of the town's art figurine – a statue of the old King, wearing a magnificent cape made by the people – and walked up Hanke and Dashel.
"You were brilliant!" Dashel cheered as the crowd kept adoring her. "Who knew that all we needed was a woman's stern voice to reach out to the crowd?"
"We tend to carry more emotion and feelings in our voice," Emaia chuckled a little, then worriedly frowned. "Have any of you seen Aide yet?"
"He was at the Inn this morning," Hanke grunted. "The lad was all dressed up in his costume, saying something about important things he had to do."
He always said that, Emaia thought. The truth was, he was avoiding her and now it was beginning to annoy her. Aide, the brave savior of the night, had no guts to come look her in the eye. She wasn't taking it anymore.
"When do we leave for the City of Quail?"
Dashel frowned a little. "Not before tomorrow. Why?"
"What time?"
"Uhh, an hour past sunrise. Why is it so important?"
Emaia had a plan. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."
-*-
Damn, She thought, as Hanke and the rest of the men came down from their rooms. He wasn't there.
"Emaia?" Hanke tiredly yawned. "We said one hour after sunrise. Why are ye' here so early?"
She couldn't tell them it was because she had wanted to confront Aide. She had hoped to catch him before he left, but it appeared he hadn't even come back to sleep. "I'm just feeling fresh, so I thought I might as well join you now. Are we ready to go?"
"Someone's excited," Hanke grunted, and turned his key into the innkeeper. "Is all the attention getting to ye'?"
Actually, it kinda was. It felt good to stand up there, to talk to a crowd and see them actually listen. She remembered back in Rochess, whenever she tried to discuss political matters, she was either shushed upon or spoken above. But here, the people listened. No one seemed to care that all of it came from a woman. If anything, it made them listen more.
"I just think we should get going," Emaia said, dismissively. "The City of Quail is our last stop, is it not?"
"Indeed," Hanke nodded affirmatively. "And then we send a notice letter of war to the King. God help us."
He was right. Even with the support of two whole cities, plus the few men that had joined the rebellion from the eastern parts of the kingdom, they were still strongly outnumbered. Their only hope was to convince the people of Quail that the King was cruel. Unfortunately, Quail was the town known for its merchandise and trading routes. It was bordered up against Bear Bay, the place where some of the most unique artifacts were found. Relics lost in the waves, seashells and rare fish. The King was very fond of Quail, since it brought so many good things with it. It would be hard to address the people of Quail with the idea that they should rise against them, when the King treated the city like his baby.
More than ever, Emaia needed the support she could only get from one person – the person who was avoiding her.
-*-
The rebellion had set up camp in a small forest area. They were two days away from Quail, but at least now they were getting closer. Emaia could feel the tension in her stomach growing. There still wasn't any sign of Aide.
Not until Emaia woke up that night, unable to sleep. She was too anxious of what would happen if she screwed up in Quail. Their whole mission could fall to pieces if they didn't get their support. That was a lot of pressure riding on her.
Finally, after tossing and turning, Emaia decided to take a walk to clear her mind. She knew with being this close to Senwatoss Capitol, it was dangerous walking around at night in the woods. But a part of her – a messed up part of her, she had to admit – hoped that if she got into danger, Aide would show up and save her. Like he always did. He had watched over her since the night in Bart. The fact that he wasn't anymore...
Emaia shook her head and started walking through the forest. It was a warm night. She could hear crickets somewhere, cricking away in the bushes. The stars shun brightly and there were practically no clouds in the sky tonight. The moon was full.
But just as she was about to walk back to her tent, a shadow caught her eye. Her heart leaped into her throat when she first thought it was another ambush. But then, as her eyes fixed on the shadow, she saw long silver hair reflecting in the moonlight.
"Aide?" She said timidly. She knew he could hear her.
He stopped what he was doing at the sound of her voice and glanced over his shoulder. He then looked away and continued doing whatever he was doing.
"Aide," Emaia repeated annoyed and begun walking up to him. Now he was ignoring her, too. "We need to talk."
She finally came close enough to see what he was doing. Right there, on a fallen tree, all of his gear was laid out, along with his cloak. He was suiting up, but for what?
"Go back to bed, Emaia."
The sound of his voice saying her name was comforting and felt strangely homely. She had almost forgotten how smooth and melodious his voice was. She had missed it.
"You have been avoiding me." It wasn't a statement, it was an accusation. She knew that pushing him that day had been wrong, but him leaving like that wasn't acceptable either. They had to talk it out.
"Yes," He replied, as if he didn't care. He strapped a belt across his shoulder, buckling it up tight. "And this is the reason why."
Emaia crossed her arms. "Because you don't want to talk?"
"Exactly."
"Why not?"
"Because I know exactly what you're going to say," He replied and started picking up his variation of daggers and secured them in his belt.
She scoffed loudly. "Really? What am I going to say, then?"
"First you'll start off by apologizing," Aide flatly replied, while tightening a new belt around his hips. "Then you'll say something about right and wrong. Then, of course, you'll leap into a long speech about what I told you, in which the details of what I really do will be heavily debated. I'll say something you don't like, you'll call me something offensive and then, after a moment of fighting, you'll try to appeal to the good in me. And that's when you start telling me that everything I said to you was just a way of pushing you away."
Emaia glared stunned. He actually did know what she was going to say. That annoyed her; If he knew, why didn't they just have the talk sooner and be done with it?
"You're right," She said. "And I'm right, too. You are trying to push me away, because you're afraid to let yourself feel. Of letting yourself love."
Aide let out a scoff. "I've heard it all before, Emaia. I'm not having this conversation."
"How can you be so... cold?"
"I'm a Northern Elf; It comes with the territory."
"You talked to me about love once," She whispered. "That love was the best anyone could do. You told me to fight for what I wanted, to take charge and be my own master," She recited and pressed her lips together when she wanted to scream. "Were you just feeding me empty words?"
Aide finally sighed. He slowly turned around to look at her. "No, Emaia. I wasn't. I want those things for you. You just can't get them from me."
"What if you're the one I want?" Emaia asked. She had had time to think about this a lot. What made her kiss him that day? It wasn't just that he supported her and taught her how to fight. It was that he cared – he was passionate in his cause to save the world. He was strong. And no matter how much he tried to deny it, he was capable of love.
Aide shook his head and turned back to his stuff. "You don't know what you're saying."
"Yes I do," She snapped, getting angry again. "I may be new to love, but dammit, I know when it's there! And I know you feel something for me, too! You're just afrai—"
"Emaia, stop yourself," Aide interrupted. "I don't have feelings for you. You've fallen under my charm and that's the only thing there is to it. I've been avoiding you, hoping you might fall out of it. Clearly, it didn't work."
His words hurt. Emaia fought against the tears welling up in her eyes. 'Fallen under his charm'. That's what he called her feelings for him. Like she was some creature who was easily manipulated.
"You can say what you want," Emaia said with a shaky, yet strong voice. "But I know what I feel. And I believe you can love, too."
Aide pulled on his cloak and sent her a strong stare. She had missed those crystal orbs, but right now they were hostile. "I've already told you how I work, Emaia. I don't give in to love and there's nothing you can do to change that. What more do you want from me?"
"I want you!" She cried. The tears were now falling down her cheeks.
Aide sighed. "You don't want me. You want my heart."
"I want all of you," She snapped when he took his mask. "Every goddamn part!"
"And I can't give you that," He flatly replied. "All I can give you is sex, and I won't do that to you."
Emaia felt her chest tighten. "Why not? If you've done it before, why won't you do it with me? You say you don't have any feelings for me, so what's holding you back? Make love to me."
"That is exactly why," Aide snapped and stepped closer to her. "I don't 'make love' - I fuck, Emaia, and I refuse to fuck you. You're too innocent, you shouldn't have to feel what heartbreak is like. Because that is what will happen, when I leave you afterwards."
When he turned to leave, Emaia grabbed his cloak and yanked him back. "That's bullshit! Just because I'm a virgin, doesn't mean I'm innocent!"
Of course that wasn't true. She knew absolutely nothing about intercourse, it was taboo to talk about in the high societies she had grown up in. She would've had to learn the hard way with her ex-fiancé, but now since that was cancelled...
Aide forced her fingers out of his cloak and then released her. "I told you; I'm not having this conversation. Go back to sleep, I have something I have to do."
"Where are you going?" She snapped angrily as he turned to leave. "Running away from me? Did I get too close again?"
"You're not everything that goes on in my world," Aide replied. He pulled on his mask and grabbed his quiver with arrows. "Go back to bed."
He walked into the night and left Emaia gazing after him.
'I've already told you how I work, Emaia. I don't give in to love and there's nothing you can do to change that.'
His words echoed in her head.
Aide was no God, and she was no fool. You couldn't just tell yourself not to fall in love. If that was the case, she would've done it by now; Done anything not to feel this way. To love him so much, and not have him love her back. The pain felt physical, not mental. She wished she could stop it.
But, that meant if she could fall in love, so could he. She didn't want to force him into loving her. Hell, he didn't even have to show it. He just had to admit it. He was capable of love too, and she was going to prove it to him.
And in the process maybe – just maybe – he would realize that opening up to someone wasn't as dangerous as he thought.