Hongjoong POV
The look on his face was fucking priceless. Could I have gone about that a bit more...gingerly?
Of course.
But what fun would that have been?
"Joong- what the fuck?" Mingi asked, clearly lost. "But we aren't all gay." He added, chuckling as he slapped my on the shoulder in his particular blasé way.
"Well- speak for yourself, you big buffoon." I teased. "You'll figure it out eventually." I said under my breath, shrugging as I placed my hand on San's shoulder- who had remain completely silent after my abrupt declaration.
"Just, sit back, Ming..." Yunho implored.
So soft for each other. I rolled my eyes. "Does that bother you, Sannie?" I asked. "That word?" I pushed, watching the way he swallowed uncomfortably. " Or is it that I included myself in the accusation?"
"I thought you...um... didn't you date Soyeon?" He asked and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Oh, shit- you believe that rumor?" I cackled, laughing hard enough to fold in on myself dramatically. "I've hung out with her like three times. She's nice- but no, San- we're not...and we never did date." I explained.
"So, you're Bi?" he wondered, trying to figure me out...
"I'm Pan- if it matters, but very much in a relationship with Hwa, if you hadn't noticed."
"Oh- really?" He nodded, his eyes moving like he was thinking hard. "Woo said you'd gotten closer- I didn't know it was official though."
"Consider it official, boys." I confirmed.
"Congrats, Capt." Yunho extended, clapping me on the shoulder over the seat of the car. "You guys are cute." He added softly.
"Thank man." I returned. "So, what the hell is the problem, San? You and Woo have been solid for....forever. And now, all of a sudden you're what, homophobic?" I asked bluntly.
"No.."
"So what is it? You cheating on him? He cheating on you?" I inquired, leaning against the passenger door, my right leg bent and my foot on the seat as I questioned him.
He parked the car, slamming the shift stick into park and glared at me. "No." his eyes darkened and I smiled, finally getting somewhere.
"Alright. Those are good to know." I considered, hating the idea of them breaking up. Not only would the group suffer, but they were my friends- the first real, happy queer couple I knew, and I hated to think about the relationship I'd looked up to crumble. "So, Wooyoung embarrasses you?" I spoke tentatively-not wanting to piss him off, but needing to fix this.
"I never said that."
"You didn't have to." Mingi interjected. I turned to look at him San following my movements. He shrugged, giving a little apologetic frown. "I mean- it's been obvious." He continued.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" San fumed.
"You've been distant- won't even hold his hand or play it up for fans." Yunho recounted.
"Listen- We can all tell when Woo isn't getting any. He's whiny." Mingi explained. "He's been un-fucking-bearable lately. So we knew something was up because you two are the horniest motherfuckers I know."
Yunho nodded. "I heard him on the phone last week with someone. He was lamenting about it." He met San's angry gaze unbothered. "Maybe give your boyfriend a little...dick and he'd be happier?" I offered.
"That's not-" San spoke, his eyes closing in annoyance.
"It's not just sex." I answered. "There's something wrong. Because before they dated Woo wasn't getting any- only giving and he was still happier than this."
"Only giving?" Yunho repeated, trying to figure that out.
He and Mingi had match expressions, deciphering the words, and it was nearly comical the way they both figured it out at the same time.
"Oh..." He chorused.
"Damn, San- that's not cool. Using him, huh?"
"I wasn't using anyone." He said defiantly. "He wanted to and I was... lonely and... you know..." he trailed off, clearly thinking we'd all agree with him.
"But that went on a long time, didn't it?" I stated more than questioned, already knowing the answer. "You let him fall all over himself and do all the work to win you for years." I chuckled, shaking my head. "Everyone thought you two were a couple, but it was just a convenient situationship for you."
"I wasn't gay." San said solemnly, not denying what I'd said.
"Gay enough to let a dude blow you." Mingi teased.
"Yeah- I mean once could be considered experimenting, but more than that..." Yunho elaborated, catching everyone's attention. He met our faces, flushing. "What?!" he yelped "I didn't mean me... I was just sayin'..." he sidestepped.
"We'll get back to that another time..." I muttered, turning back to San "Listen. Deny it all you want, but if you're attracted to the same gender, that's gay, babycakes." I clarified. "And even if you were... confused about your orientation, you have cared about Wooyoung for a long time." I smiled at him sadly. "using that to your advantage.. not cool." I scolded. "I don't know why you can't admit it, but everyone can see you love him. Unless...your feelings have changed?"
"No!" he yelped. "No...I...I love him so much." He said sadly. "But... I just...I don't think I can be the man he wants me to be."
"And what man is that, Cha Eun-Woo?" Mingi teased. "Pretty sure Woo's type is big, beefy and dimwitted- like you." He smirked.
"Fuck you, Ming." He muttered. "No, I meant... open... public. Loud and proud."
"Has he ever said he wants to walk a pride parade with you?" Yunho asked.
"Well, no....but all his friends..."
"Had their privacy invaded and they were outed." I finished for him. They chose to be honest and to take the chance as a group and as couples... well, relationships." I added for those of the group in poly situations. "You do know that just because it works for them, doesn't mean you have to do it too." I soothed. "I mean... Polycules?" I smiled slow. "That's not for everyone, and it's okay that it's good for them."
"I know that.. just... Wooyoung has known Changbin for years..."
"And they are two completely different people." I interrupted. "They have always been close, much like Yeo and Woo- which you seem to be having trouble with again lately. I thought we were over that shit."
"It's difficult to get over." He mumbled.
"They're best friends, bro." Mingi said bluntly.
"But they... they used to..."
"What? Fuck? Date?" Yunho huffed in laughter, clearly joking.
"I mean they did stuff." San revealed.
"Whoa..." Mingi marveled. "Never would have guessed."
"Are you blind?" San said, pissed.
"But..." Mingi spoke quietly in his defense... "Aren't they.. both.... kinda..." um...?"
"Bottoms." I supplied. "The word you are looking for is bottoms. Babygirls, submissive- probably... that's a little more...debatable."
"Yeah. Exactly." Mingi smiled, grateful for my help. "Bottom." he considered under his breath, a new piece of information to digest.
"That's why they... stopped seeing each other. They never got to that... I don't think." San complained.
"Damn, jealous much?" Yunho observed.
"Yes. I admit. I am very jealous. Woo is mine, and I don't fucking share."
"Apparently." Mingi said scathingly. "He can't even have fucking friends."
"He has friends." He countered.
"When you let him." Yunho sparred. "We're the wrong ones to fight about this with. If it's not the group, you get reeeeaaal pissy about Wooyoung's extracurriculars." He levelled a gaze on San that almost made me wither. It was hard to anger to big softie, but when you did...watch out. "He can't see Bin or Yeonjun with express permission from you... it's weird."
"Yeah. Possessive can be hot, but you take it way overboard, man." Mingi explained, realizing his words and blushing. "You know what I mean. It's a fine line."
"That it is." I agreed. "Listen, San- we want you guys to stay together. The two of you... well, you're why I was able to finally be honest with myself about my feelings. So whatever you're going through... can you talk about it?" I asked. "Maybe we can help you."
"Yeah, Woo seems pretty upset. Is there something you can do to fix this?" Mingi added, nodding.
"You guys see that slap?" Yunho appreciated. "Damn." He cocked his head to the side, rubbing his own face.
"I know I deserved that." San nodded solemnly. "There's just... a lot. Woo's family is so... loving and accepting and supportive. They know about us." He nodded- a small constellation. "But I just... can't tell my parents. I told Wooyoung that they know, but..." he looked down, guilty "I never told them we were anything more than room mates." He sighed, like he was finished. "And I want him. If he's mine, then only I can have him, dammit." He huffed, like a pouting child.
"Why would you lie to your boyfriend about that?!" Yunho exclaimed. "That's... that's not cool, man." He shook his head. "And you have to chill the prison guard act. He's a separate person. You can love him and let him have a life outside of you..." he offered softly
"I know, okay? It's just... I'm an only child. My father wants to be a grandfather." He lamented.
"And that's your problem, how?" Mingi scoffed. "Listen- maybe he should've had an army of kids or something, but he doesn't get to decide who you love. Or fuck, San-ah."
It was one of the most profound things I'd ever heard him say, and I swelled with pride.
"Beautiful, Minki." Yunho praised, putting his arm around his friend, nodding in agreement.
"Well, I guess so. But...I just feel... like...I'm failing him somehow?" San admitted sadly.
"I think you put too much stress on yourself." I said. "Listen. You're smart, kind." I paused, wanting him to hear those as most important. "You're famous, and wealthy and strong." I added. "The only ones you're failing here is yourself and Wooyoung. Neither of you deserve that." I said honestly. 'you can't let it consume you... So, what are you going to do about it?"
"Woo's really angry at me..."
"As he should be." Mingi pointed out.
"I know. I fucked up so bad." San groaned.
"Flowers. Girls like flowers..." Yunho suggested. "Woo would like some."
"Maybe take him dinner?" Mingi added and as if on cue his stomach growled, reminding us all that we had planned to eat. "Maybe get us dinner too?" he joked.
"I think you'll figure out what you need to do, San. It might take time, but food and flowers would be a good start." I agreed. I patted him on the leg, nodding, thinking just maybe we had gotten through to him... somewhat.
"Who's hungry?" I smiled.
~~____~~
My hands were full as I walked down the hall toward my apartment door. San had dropped me off after dinner, a bag with Wooyoung's favorite meal taking my place in the passenger seat. I unlocked the door, the soft, familiar voice of Seonghwa greeting me as I called out a simple. "I'm home!"
He laughed lightly and kept speaking, his tone calm. I knew by the way he directed his words he was doing a live. I smiled, kicking my shoes off by the door, going into he kitchen and unwrapping the steak I had brought for him to eat. I set it on a plate, along with the portion of noodles, grabbing chopsticks and a spoon for the soup as well.
I heard him chuckle and his voice explained. "Yeah- Hongjoong is back." They must have heard me call out to him- just one of the reasons I had made sure to keep the greeting friendly, and not...romantic.
I took him the food, staying out of frame, placing the plate and bowl next to him. He looked up at me and his eyes... the way they sparkled with emotion made my heart throb unsteadily. "Did you eat, Hwa?" I asked, choking on the emotions I desperately want to show him.
"I haven't yet. Thank you." He said, smiling at the tender cut of meat I'd brought him. His gaze went back to his phone as he recorded, his fingers pausing their building of the new Lego set to point at the screen. "Say hello to Atiny?" he suggested.
"Oh, hello!" I greeted, my hands waving, but my face still out of frame. "Show him lots of love, Atiny!" I ordered lightly and I patted him on the shoulder, winking at him so only he could see. I retreated from the main space, happy he was laughing, answering questions from fans about where I had been, where I was going, why couldn't I join the live too... what had I brought him to eat. He answered them all in turn, his eyes meeting mine from across the room briefly before I closed our bedroom door, giving him privacy to do what he enjoyed.
I showered, keeping my music low, not wanting to interrupt his stream, content to sit in bed and read while I waited for him. I had a show on, playing in the background as I scrolled, read a bit. After awhile, my phone pinged, a notification appearing at the top of my screen.
Text from Legs
Legs: Thank you for dinner.
Me: You're welcome.
I knew you wouldn't eat otherwise.
Legs: You know me well
Me: How's the live going?
Legs: almost finished.
Me: Good.
Me: Come to bed.
It seemed like moments later, our door opened, his lean silhouette framed in the doorway, the light pouring in from the main space backlighting his body like a beautiful work of art.
He walked forth, slow, fluid- graceful like he did everything, and my breath caught as I put my phone on the nightstand, giving his entrance the attention it deserved.
"Honey." He said so softly it was like a whisper. "Thank you for bringing me dinner." He said and I was pulling the blanket away, holding my arms aloft, an invitation to join me.
"Of course, Bunny." I smiled, and he blushed cutely. He found his way into my arms, laying out on his stomach, his torso on my thighs and his head on my chest as he allowed me to embrace him. I kissed the top of his head, the light crisp scent of citrus filling my nostrils.
We lay there in comfortable silence for a while until he asked. "How did it go with San?"
"I think they'll be fine. San loves him... he's just..." I searched for the word.
"A fool sometimes?" Seonghwa offered.
"More than sometimes." I chuckled.
"I missed you tonight."
"Is that why you went live, Bunny?" I asked, affection blooming in my chest. "Lonely?"
He lifted his head up, sitting on his knees next to me. "I was." He nodded.
"Still lonely?" I asked, my hand cupping his cheek, my thumb brushing an errant strand of hair away from his eyes.
"Not anymore." He breathed and he was climbing into my lap, his long legs straddling my thighs. My pulse stuttered as his hands ran along my arms, his face dipping. His mouth met mine softly, like he wasn't sure I'd want him kissing me.
My hands were on his back, under his shirt, pouring over his smooth bronze skin as I met his kisses with fevered need- my teeth grazing over those dusky lips, our tongues forging as one, causing a low moan to fall from his throat. I needed him. Some soul wrenching desire to remind him how much he meant to making me...singularly focused.
"Joong, Honey..." he gasped, breaking away as his back bowed to my touch.
"Tell me, Hwa..." I urged.
He was nodding as he melted in my arms, nearly laying all the way back, my hands supporting his upper body as he leaned back in a glorious arc of lean muscled perfection. "Yes, Joong- please." He nodded and I laid him out, shifting him easily to the side.
I crawled alongside him, looming over his body, my hands nimble as I lifted his shirt, my mouth following the path of my movements, kissing up and over his stomach and chest, seeking the delicate crook of his neck with my tongue and lips. " I love you so much..." I confessed, as if he didn't know already.
"I love you too." he gulped. "So much." he sighed, his hands on the buttons of my pajama top, working them nimbly. "You're wearing the jammies I bought you." He smiled, pleased at the fact that I was wearing the cartoonish Yoda print sleepwear.
"Of course I am." I said nonchalantly and when he pushed the shirt off me, I caught it with one hand, tossing it to the floor. "I was hoping you'd take them off me, too." I flirted and he giggled, cute and sweet and so fucking adorably him. My lips pressed down his chest, moving lower until I was making slow, laborious circles around his navel with my tongue, causing him to whine prettily.
"Nhhhng, Honey!" He cried out, his hands in my hair trying to guide my mouth away from the ticklish spot. I travelled lower, pushing down the waistband of his sweatpants as I descended, delighted with he little breathy moans he was letting out... so quickly it sounded like he was panting.
"Shh, Bunny... It's okay." I soothed, shoving the material down far enough to free his hard length, the sight always enough to make me pause and appreciate. "So hard for me, huh?" I teased, my hand stroking over his hot length a few times.
"Mmm." He agreed, nodding. He bit his lip, which seemed to be caught in a frown, but I knew it was a grimace of pleasure, his eyes closing as I teased his lithe body toward ecstasy. I watched his face light up and fall dark in quick succession as I teased his hipbone with my teeth, always sure to lap at the tender spots after leaving imprints in his skin.
"So pretty." I complimented as I sat back, stretching for the drawer of his nightstand, my hand finding the bottle of lubricant quickly. I searched further, finding a condom too, knowing my boyfriend preferred them for his own penchant for cleanliness. It was a simple request, and of course I obliged, his comfort paramount.
I drug the pants down and off his legs completely, baring him to me. My hands roved over the long expanse of his legs, up his shins and thighs, curving inward to grip his legs and part them for me.
"Joong." He whined as he let his legs fall apart, reaching for me. I found my place between his legs, draping them over my hips, loving the way he surrounded me with the limbs. I squeezed some lubricant onto my fingers, leaning forward to kiss him as I rubbed the pads of two fingers over his soft entrance, catching each little sigh of pleasure as he let them escape.
"I know, Bunny... I know." I assured him, working the tight rim until I was pressing my fingers into his hole, groaning at the feel of him around the digits, throbbing and impossibly hot.
"Nnnhhhhuuuh!" he whined, his hands grasping at the nape of my neck, dragging my mouth to his, kissing me in furious need. "Yeah... yes... like that." He whined and I was curling my fingers, rubbing over the sensitive spot until he was breathing shallow and rapid as he reached the precipice of orgasm.
And when his body started to go taut, I pulled away, letting my fingers slide out of him, biting back a laugh when his eyes snapped open and glared at me, an actually pout on his lips. "Don't be like that, Bunny." I placated. "I won't leave you unfinished." I rose up on my knees, pushing the silly pajama pants down and shimmying out of them with a definitive kick toward the floor to join their shirt counterpart.
I found my way between his knees once more, rolling the condom over my cock as his hands clutched at my forearms, desperation in his eyes. "Hongjoong." He complained and I was nodding, leaning forward, supporting my weight on my left hand, my right supporting under his thigh as I sank into him, letting his body swallow me, encase me...
Consume me.
"That's it, so good for me, Bunny." I cooed, thrusting slow and shallow, letting his body squirm and buck under me as I made love to him. He preened at the words, letting one arm fall over his eyes, embarrassed. "No... no, Hwa... let me see you." I pleaded and reluctantly, he let his arm fall away, revealing two huge brown eyes full of emotion peering back.
I leaned down, kissing his cheeks softly, nuzzling my nose over his jaw as I rocked my hips in and out of him, letting his body rise toward completion once more. "Never hide from me, Seonghwa. I love you more than anything in the world." I assured him and he was nodding, his hands weaving around my neck as his body rose upward, meeting each of my thrusts with his own tilt of hips, taking me deeper and deeper.
"I... I won't hide...." He promised, nodding as he cried out, and in the next breath, his body pulsed around me, orgasm tearing through him like a crash of waves.
"Good, Bunny." I praised, lifting his hip upward as I drove into him faster, harder- seeking release, pleasure coursing through me at the sight of his gorgeous, sweat dampened face watching me as I reared back, burying myself in his tight heat one last time as I groaned low and pitiful, coming with a shudder, his name on my tongue. "Hwa."
I let his body relax back against the bed, smiling as I pulled out, turning to lay on my back next to him. Our legs stayed tangled, and his fingers were gentle on my face, tracing the lines of my lips and nose, his expression one of adoration. "So lovely." He considered, grinning. "So sexy." He whispered, rolling on his side, his mouth placing a kiss on my chest.
I smiled, dumbstruck with his compliments, my eyes closing in contentment.
"Let me clean up." His voice was calm, determined. I felt his body move, sitting up to leave.
"No..." I scolded him and he paused, watching me sheepishly. "I clean you up. That's how it goes, babe." I reminded him. "Lay down, I'll be right back." I said, planting a kiss on his cheek, standing up.
I padded to the bathroom, disposing of the used condom in the trash, gathering a warm, damp rag and a bottle of lotion from the counter.
When I returned and he was lying on his back, waiting patiently. He sometimes had a hard time relinquishing the control of clean up to me, but he played along- even if he always showered after my care routine was finished. I wasted no time, wiping him off, humming as I worked, kissing him more than was strictly necessary.
"Roll over." I commanded lightly and he looked at me in confusion.
"Round two?" He wondered and I considered, smiling at him devilishly.
"Well- I planned to rub your back, but if you insist..." I flirted.
He laughed and turned over, wiggling his ass cutely, a rare confirmation of his desires.
My eyebrow shot up, liking the mood he was in, hoping, only momentarily, we weren't the only ones showering each other in love that night.