Warnings! ⚠️
Talk of a suicide attempt.
Aggressive Maggie
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After my can of Coke and a good chat with Bobby I felt better. Not 100% but, I wasn't feeling like kicking down a wall anymore. Bobby took me back to the boys. Dean smiled as I walked into the room, my old man behind me. Sam looked to me an anxious smile on his face.
"Maggie. Can we talk?" Sam asks me his tone full of sorrow and sympathy. "Maybe later. We have shit to do Samsquach" I say seriously. I had too much on my mind to even think of a heart to heart with Sam. I just wanted to go to the gravesite and see what it is that pulled Dean out of hell.
"You lot should head back to Bobbys. I'm going to the grave sight. I wanna see what I can feel around it" I tell the boys. Dean nodded, he trusted my abilities. Plus, I've got my hex bag on me that keeps me hidden and, I know what I'm doing by now. Hunted for 3 months alone and I'm still alive. Means something!
"Not without me. I'm going with, we can talk as we do that" Sam says sternly. Oh for fuck sake! I said later Sam! "I said later!" I snapped at Sam. Dean smiled at me. Okay? What's the smile for, you sexy mother fucker?!
"Mags, what have you eaten today?" Dean asks. Where did that come from? Am I being cranky? What have I eaten today? Oh shit! I forgot to eat again. I keep doing that! I couldn't help but smile at my own thoughts. There is something in my stomach alright.
"You" I say and winked at him. Bobby cringed as Sam laughed. "Ah. Hangry mags has emerged" Dean says with a chuckle. Oh shit, I might actually be hangry. Explains why I'm snapping at vending machines and Sam.
"Okay, I'll get food with Bobby! You two go see what pulled me out of the pit" Dean tells us. I shook my head. Sam isn't going with me. I'm going alone.
"Wolfie, please?" I heard Dean think. I sighed and nodded so he knew I heard it. I'm doing this for you, you beautiful man bear!
"The diner is just across the road there. We won't be long" I tell Dean as I conjured my blade to my hand. Love this thing! I was not taking any chances. This blade can kill a lot of things. It's served me well. Dean took the blade from me and handed it to Sam before he pulled me close wrapping his arms around me. I smiled feeling safe for the first time in a long time. His arms were always a safe place for me.
"Be careful" he tells me and kisses my forehead. I smiled as I wrapped my arms around him. I will mo ghrá. I promise you that. "I always am, mo ghrá" I say quietly before I looked up at him. He smiled before kissing my lips quickly but passionately. Sam coughs to get our attention.
"Keep your boxers on Samsquach!" I say as Dean let go of me. I went and grabbed Sam before looking to Bobby. He nodded at me. It was always his silent way of saying be careful
"Be nice, Margo!"
"I'm always nice, old man!"
Sam bent his knees well used to me teleporting us around. I made sure I had my torch and my blade before making us both appear at the grave site.
"Wow!" Sam says as he looked around. I forgot all about burning the trees in my anger. He and I walked up to the cross where I always lay the flowers. It's where I found the Lillys. But that is not where I had left them. I dropped them a few feet away.
"Someone's been here since I have, I can sense their presence still. And the Lillys have been moved" I say to Sam as I touched the soil. There was a burning feeling on the palm of my hand now that I'm tuned into the energies. Whatever pulled Dean out is powerful. More powerful than any demon I've ever met.
"What are you feeling?" Sam asks curiously as he shun the torch toward the cross. A lot Sam, That's the issue. It's like there's layers of energy around the grave sight that I have never felt. It's almost cosmic it's that strong.
"Something on a cosmic level of power Sam" I say honestly and then to him. He was not taking that well. "Cosmic? Like really high level demon?" Sam asks me. I shook my head.
"No. It's not demonic. It's something else entirely. I just, I've never felt this kind of power before" I explain. I focused on the energy and closed my eyes tilting my head as I felt it. My minds eye flooded with blue light as if I was seeing the energy itself. It's an entity of great power. Genuinely more powerful than I've ever felt.
A man in a trenchcoat stood in the centre of the image with his back turned. "You should not be here, Margaret" a gravely voice tells me. I don't recognise that voice anyways. Strange symbols began to swarm my view as if flying around the air around us. I cried out in pain holding my head. The figure was turning around as I felt Sam pulling me back making me lose the connection. I felt as if I had fallen back further than Sam had taken me though. I'm somehow still in their aura though. All I can see is the electric blue streaks of energy and where they are exactly on earth. It's Pontiac. This energy is in the city!
"This is much more powerful than anything we've ever faced Sam" I say breathlessly. Why am I breathing heavily? I look around me in this energy. The figure still didn't turn to me. The pain in my head was turning into a migraine as I tried to enter the entities aura once more with my power. It felt like every cell in my head was on fire. I cried out instinctively holding my head. The pain is only getting worse the more I tried to enter the energy.
"Maggie. You need to come back to me. Disconnect from the energy" Sam calls as he held me close. I will know this energy if I come across it again. I can use that to my advantage. I took my hand from the soil and the scene around me in real life began to flood my vision once more. The scent of burning wood entered my nose once more. As well as Sam's shirt. He still uses lavender detergent?
"Match my breathing" he says into my ear softly. I nodded and I tried to holding onto him tightly. I eventually got my breathing back to normal. What in the ever loving fuck just happened there?
"Maggie. Do you realise what I just saw?" Sam asks me. What? No? I can't see through your eyes you dope! I shook my head as I sat up and scooted back giving him space. He grabbed the torch just so there was some light around us. It was pitch black after all. The odd few cinders still burning in the distance was the only natural light. Trust me to cause a forest fire. That bear fella won't be proud. Can never remember that fuckers name!
"Maggie. Something came out of your back! It's like your birthmark was glowing" Sam tells me in fascination. What?! The wing shaped birthmark on my back glowed? What the fuck?
"What the fuck is life anymore?" I ask and just lay down on the grass. I looked up at the cloudy sky as we sat in silence for a few moments. Sam mind was going a thousand mile an hour. The migraine was subsiding thankfully. Thank god for my wolf side or I'd be beyond fucked.
"Maggie. I'm sorry" Sam says breaking the silence. I just scoffed and stood up. I could see in the dark better than any human so I kept the torch with Sam. I walked away a couple metres. I genuinely felt liking punching him. I can't do that though. I don't want to hurt Sam. I may be angry but, I'm not that kind of person.
"You're sorry" I say into anger. Really? Now he's going to start? Fine then. Let's talk it out! I turn around to him doing my best to control my anger as he stood up.
"You fucking left us Sam! I needed you! I needed the closest thing I'll ever have to a brother and you left me!" I shouted. We hadn't spoken much about that. Hell, we hadn't spoken at all. He had been dodging my calls the past few months. The only reason we even hunted together was we showed up at the same place a couple times. Even then he barely spoke. He left Bobbys and never looked back.
"I know. I was out of line!" Sam uttered in his own defense. Out the line?!
"Oh the line was a fucking dot in the distance to you at that point!" I shout aggressively. . Sam actually stood back in shock. I've never spoken to him like that in the year I've known him. I'm just so fucking angry. And if he wants to talk, then it's my turn first! "I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating. I was having nightmares of you dying bloody! Of deans death over and over! And you fucking left me Sam!" I shouted.
How can he defend that? How can he possibly make that up to me? Still though, I wanted to hear him out. It's Sam! My Samsquach! My 6'4 Doberman puppy in human form.
"I couldn't handle it Maggie" He tells me tears falling. I could feel the sadness and regret coming from him. It made me kind of shocked. I thought it was easy for him to leave me alone. I mean he has no obligation to me. Nothing tying him to me with Dean gone.
"You're not the only one who couldn't handle it!" I say to him my voice cracking with emotion. Sam looked at me tears in his eyes. "I..I tried to end it Sammy" I tell him. I've never actually spoken about it before today. I was going to jump of the Eighth Street Bridge into the water. I was actually going to take my own life that night. Bobby had to convince me to come down from the ledge.
"You weren't answering calls or messages. You weren't anywhere to be found. You had a hex bag on you so I couldn't find you. I was alone" I explained.
Sam walked over and pulled me into his arms tightly. I instantly hugged him back tears falling from my eyes. "I couldn't go on without you. Dean was gone. You were all I had left of him and, I couldn't" I said through sobs unable to hold back the emotions any longer. Seeing him again was bringing it all back. The hurt, the pain, the anger. Everything!
"I'm so so sorry Maggie. I'll spend the rest of my life making up for this. For what I did" he says as he lay his head on my shoulder. I nodded as I held him tighter. I would always forgive him. I just won't forget it. I don't think I can.
"Love you Sammy, So much! That's why it hurt so much" I say as I held him tightly. We needed this talk. To get it all out in the open. Sam just held me even tighter. If I was a normal person he'd probably have broken my back. "I love you too Maggie. My little big sister" he says.
"My big little brother" I say with a chuckle. We pulled apart wiping our eyes. God we're both as bad as each other at times.
"Aren't we just a couple of Emotional bitches?" I ask making Sam laugh. I felt his whole mood change with that rhetorical question.
"I have this things energy and aura. I can bind it it now" I say getting back to why we were even here. Sam nodded as he handed me the torch. He had his 'please forgive me' puppy eyes on full blast. You fucking bitch! I have to forgive him! But first, Time to go back to the Dean and Bobby.
"Come here you big puppy!" I demanded of Sam. He laughs and pulled me close knowing he achieved what he wanted. "Bend the knees, moose man!" I order making him laugh even more. He did as he was told before I made us both appear back in the motel room.
"Thank god you're both back" Dean says and goes to me hugging me tightly. Wow! What did I miss? Why is Dean gone big protective bear man?
"Did you find anything?" Bobby asks us as he sat down. "Maggie found an energy frequency she can track. It's not a demon. It's something else entirely" Sam explains before I could. I just smiled as I hugged Dean. I won't ever get enough of this. I've missed being in his arms. His scent, everything that is Dean.
"I can trap it" I tell them. Dean let me go to listen. He looked a bit confused on what I'd said. "It's not going to be easy, though Got pretty messy when I felt it" I say and Dean kissed my head knowing what I meant. He knew the headaches that came from using my powers to track powerful entities. More powerful the entity, the more it hurts like a mother fucker.
"Let's get ye fed then while the boys do what they need to do" Bobby says.
"Oh she's not leaving my side" Dean says sternly and pulls me to his side by my hip. Aww. You're adorable you giant bear man. I leaned up on my tippy toes and kisses his cheek making him look down to me. "Mo Ghrá! I'll be fine with Bobby!" I begin. He smiles at the pet name. That's his favourite! I just know it.
"You two go get some pie and find the demons if you can. I'll wait back here and get a nap in. Helps the noggin" I tell him and hand him my blade. Better safe than sorry! He took the blade and handed it to Sam before pulling me back into his arms, enveloping me in a loving embrace. I could feel his fear as he held me tightly.
"We can go get something for your birthday" Dean says with a smile and kisses my head before letting me go. My birthday isn't till Halloween? Oh shit, I better call my dad though. Haven't checked in with him in a while. Been up to my eyes in demons and hunts galore. Shit! Does he even know I got hurt when Dean was dragged to hell? Fuck!
"Nothing expensive! I mean it. I'd be happy with those sweet rings and a can of Monster" I say sternly pointing between the two Winchesters. Sam laughed at that. He knew I was being serious. Maybe that's what was funny about it?
"Fine!" Dean sighs in mock defeat. "You will eat and then get some sleep. You've just finished a hunt before I popped back into the world" Dean tells me. I nod and do a salute to take the absolute piss out of him as always. "I'll be by to check in on you in a bit" Dean says. I nodded and let him kiss me before he and Sam left. Dean winked at me from the door before he closed it behind himself and Sam.
"Do I have to burn my car lot?" Bobby asks getting my attention back to hi. I laughed as I shook my head. "Only one truck" I say through giggles.
"I can sort that for you" I say with a smile before he handed me the brown paper bag from the table.
Oooh! Food!
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After eating and getting Bobby home, I'd returned to the motel and gone back to my room to get some sleep. I was mid sleep, my arms under my pillows as I lay on my stomach when I felt movement beside me. I sleep holding my knife or with it beneath the pillows. I gripped the hilt of the blade and jumped on the person putting it to their throat. The sigh of relief that came out of me when I saw Dean.
"You scared the shit out of me" I tell him as I threw the blade to the floor. I looked back to the handsome hunter to see a cheeky smile plastered on his lips, his eyes alight with amusement and kist.
"I will admit that's hot as fuck but, don't kill me" Dean says with a smile and winks up at me.
"I'm just not used to having someone crawl into bed next to me anymore" I explain. I was only in my sleeveless top and knickers as I was straddling him. I just stayed where I was relaxing once I knew who it was.
"Well get used to it again" he tells me and sits up wrapping his arms around my waist as one hand went up to my cheek. "I'm going nowhere" he told me with a smile as he reached up to play with my hair. It had grown a lot since I cut it a few months back. It was already halfway down my back again.I couldn't stop the smile that crept onto my lips.
"What's with the knife?" Dean asks curiously. "It's bigger than your arm" he says with a chuckle. I just sigh sadly. It's a bit embarrassing like! . "I erm..I didn't feel safe sleeping without you" I explain before pushing my hair back behind me so it wasn't in my face. God. I hate how red it is. Why did I have to be born a redhead? "
"Clearly it's not easy to kill me. So, they killed me in another way entirely " I say and looked down a bit. Dean nodded taking it in. He moved his head a little so he caught my eye once more. I smiled unable not to. Those eyes of yours Dean Winchester! Best anti depressant there is.
"Sam told me even after the hellhounds that you got up and almost killed Lilith but, she bailed her meatsuit" Dean says. I nodded. I was fuelled by anger then. I was literally about to kill the bitch. The blade was about to pierce her skin and she bailed. Deans hands wandering up my stomach as he traced the scars. I giggled as it tickled a little.
"I missed that giggle" he says more to himself than me. I found myself blushing at that. He smiled up at me and kissed along my collar bone at the few scars there. It was easier to hide them since they were smaller and older.
I took a gentle hold of his face and made him look at me before I kissed him, my hands going around his neck and gripping at his hair. He let me lay him down once more as I kissed him. He flipped us over so he was on top as we continued kissing, him deepening it as one of his hands gripped mine. He pulled away after a moment just looking at me.
"I'm never leaving you again" he swore and lay his head on my chest as he relaxed on the bed under the covers with me. I smiled at that.
"Good!" I tell him as I began to play with his shirt light brown hair. "I was a hot mess without my DeDe" I tell him honeslty. He chuckled at that. What? I am a hot mess without him! He lifted his head a bit and rested his chin on my chest to look at me as he spoke. "I'm here now" he tells me and takes my hand from his head kissing it.
And I'm never letting you go again!
We fell asleep like that him laying on me his arms around me as I lay on the bed. I missed this. Being close to him. Best night sleep I've had in months.
~Dean P.O.V~
I woke up to hear Mags' little snores barely audible as I was laying on her chest, my body across the bed. I didn't even get out of my clothes. I just lay beside her last night after taking off my boots. I mean she did attack me. Feisty bitch. It was such a turn on though. I may need professional help if my girlfriend putting a knife to my throat is a turn on. Shit. Mean partner. I look at her and see all woman! Like god! But, she prefers me saying she's my partner so, I respect that.
We were going back to Bobby's today. He had some leads to help figure out who this energy was that got me out of the pit. He just needed some proper rest, I guess. I understand that. I looked around searching for a clock. What time even is it? I got back late anyways but I did not want to get up. Mags didn't seem like she'd be awake anytime soon. She was also too beautiful to wake right now.
I slowly sat up and took off my jeans and my shirt before crawling back into the bed to get more comfortable. Fuck the morning. I'm cuddling with my girl. I lay back down with her and pulled her close. She didn't even wake up. She just wrapped an arm around me as she slept.
Even when she's asleep all she wants to do is hold me. I hate that I find it hard to tell her I love her. I'm lucky she's an empath and can feel it and knows but, I want to be able to say it more often. She makes me a better man. She makes me wanna be a better man.
"No. Leave him alone" Mags mumbles from my side. I looked down to check on her. She's sleep talking again? She has not done that in a long time. That usually meant her nightmares were coming back. Jesus! 4 months without me and she's a hot mess. Her words, not mine
The bulb in the lamp beside the bed exploded making me jump from shock. Sparks went flying upward but fell onto the wooden locker extinguishing quickly. This just shows how bad this dream was. I gently shook her making her wake with a jump. She looked up at me almost surprised to see me. Before I could ask her anything, she kissed me as if she was afraid I wasn't real. I kissed her back obviously but I was still worried as fuck.
"Mags" I mumbled against her lips making her pull away. "You blew up a lamp in your sleep" I breathed out still a bit shocked. She sat up beside me her curly hair falling down her back as she brushed it out of her face with her hand. "I keep seeing the night you went to hell in my sleep" she manages to get out. It was. A whisper her voice cracking in emotion. I sat up beside her so I could be eye level with her. Oh god, another trauma for her to remember. Fucking great!
"I keep seeing Sam screaming for the hounds to stop as they hurt us. Lilith laughing as we're both torn apart" she recites not looking at me. She saw Sam's reaction that night? Fucking hell.
She was playing with her hands picking at her skin around her nails. She hadn't done that for a long time before I died. Pain is what brings her back from her minds worst thoughts. I pulled her close to me to offer her some support. I knew the pain that night but, I couldn't see what was happening around us. Just the hounds and what they were doing to Mags and me.
She was put through it as much as Sam and I were. She was mentally tortured with an emotional Sam as well as physically torn up. How she survived that, I don't know. Maybe Bobby is right. Nothing can keep her down.
"Just remember, I'm back now" I tell her. She looked up at me again her eyes filling with tears. She smiles and nods. "It's not a really good dream, It's reality! I crawled out of a god damn grave to get to you again" I tell her. She needed to know that. I crawled 6 feet through dirt and got out. My first thought was her and Sammy. She nodded and grabbed my hand in hers intertwining our fingers. The last thing I remembered of living was her grabbing my hand like this before it was lights out.
4 months of hell, the torture, the pain, what is done to escape the agony and waking up in that coffin without her hand on mine was not something I wanted to experience again. I got out somehow. I got back to her and Sammy.
"They're going to miss me in that florist I tell ye" Mags tells me with a sad smile. What? Wait, When I crawled out of the grave there was flowers everywhere. It was the first thing I saw besides grass and dirt. Someone was clearly taking care of my gravesite.
"You're the one who left the Lillys" I say in realisation finding myself smiling. When I crawled out of the grave, all I could see was Lilly petals around the grave and some intact ones. First thing I saw was an intact purple Lilly. First thing I saw was something from my girl. It wasn't fresh but it was new enough, it was barely wilted. Ironically, it was mags I immediately thought of seeing it. She nodded as she looked up at me. "I visited every week" she tells me and giggles.
"Even with a snapped leg" she chuckles. Wow! She had a broken leg? "Poor Sam with the wheelchair over that grass" she says with an evil giggle. She was in a wheelchair? Holy shit.
"Took me a month and a half to walk again but, every week without fail, I was at your grave with some lillys and whiskey to pour for you" she told me with a smile.
"One time, At band camp-" she says and laughs. I couldn't stop the laugh that came from me. Someone loves Buffy a bit too much still. "Nah, I'm messin'!" She began as she sat up a little bit more. Ooh. She does that when she's got a good memory to talk about.
"One time, Sam was wheeling me across to the cross. He got the wheel caught on a tree root and I went flying" she says with a giggle. Oh Jesus! "I was grand but, poor Sam nearly had a bleedin' aneurysm" she says with a giggle. She seen my smile as I listened but, I was memorising her face like it was the first time I'd ever seen her, or the last. How she could just be so open with me. She holds nothing back. How much she trusts me is kind of beautiful. She's beautiful.
I leaned over to kiss her lips as I pulled her close. She looked up at me when I pulled away. Her hand reached up touching my face. I missed this. Her hand just holding my face. The smell of her lavender hand lotion. The softness of her skin against my stubbled cheeks.
She leaned up kissing my lips again. Fuck! I really did miss them too. They're always so soft. She always tastes like candy and mint. She scooted over and straddled my lap her legs around my waist as she deepened the kiss. My hands wandered under her shirt and gripped her hips as I returned the kiss.
There was a knock on the door that made me pull away from her lips. For fuck sake! You better have a good reason to be here this early Sam or you'll be sent to hell next. Mags put a finger over my lips to stop me saying anything. She was listening for who it was. Who would it be other than Sam?
"Guys! You awake? It's 7am" Sam calls from the other side of the door. Is that all? And you're banging down the door? Fuck off Sammy! I leaned my head back against the headboard as I sighed in exasperation. "We'll be right there Sam!" Mags calls and groans as she lay her head on my shoulder. I know babe. Sam the 6'4 cockblock is at it again. She'll slap him for me.
"As much as I love your brother" she began before sitting up once more. "I will fucking kill him" she tells me matter of factly. Thank god I'm not the only one who wants to do so. Fuck! Who crafted you woman, Aphrodite?! She got off of my lap and sat on the side of the bed and stretched her arms as I got up to answer the door.
"Give us a few, Sammy. Gotta get dressed" I say. Mags wouldn't want Sam seeing her in very little clothing. She always says that was for my eyes only.
"I'll meet you both at the car" Sam says looking everywhere but at me. Dude, I'm not naked! He nodded awkwardly and walked away. I closed the door and locked it again turning to see Mags was squated down at her duffel getting her clothes out. Down. That was does it quit! Are they Power Puff girls panties?
"Yes, yes they are" mags tells me with a giggle. "I need to get some washing done or I'll be going commando soon" she says as she looked to me. As if I'd complain. She stood up with that cheeky smile I love.
"I know you wouldn't complain, You perve!" she says with a chuckle. "Hey! I am not a perve. I just admire every single bit of you" I tell her with a chuckle. We both dressed and washed up before going down to the car.
"I missed you, Baby" Mags says as she pats the hood. Why is that such a turn on? She looked in the back seat and smiled. Don't let Sam know you sexy bitch! The times we had in the back seat when Sam was asleep in the motel room. We are not shy about it but, I do not want my baby brother knowing I've fucked my girl in the back seat of my car. He'll never sit there again. I got into the front seat and smiled. I missed you Baby.
"I'll just make us and the car poof to Bobbys lads. Saves us the drive" mags says from the back seat as she leaned on the seats so she was between us a little.
"You wont be doing that!" I say making her look at me with a pout. "I'm driving" I tell her with a smile. She just rolled her eyes with a smile and kissed my cheek before sitting back. Sam smiled a genuine smile from beside me.
"Trio of madness is back" he said with a chuckle. I like that. Imma use that! We've got a 9 hour drive ahead of us and I can't fuckin wait.
"Wait! I almost forgot!" Mags says and leaned forward handing me a cassette tape. It was labelled 'Driving playlist'. Ooh, let's see then! This is bound to be a cluster fuck of genres. I put the cassette tape in the radio and Led Zepplin's Immigrant Song blared from the speakers. I fucking love you, woman!
"I love you too" she says and snuck a kiss from me before sitting back. "One thing I did not miss, you two being so cute and lovey dovey" Sam sahs with a chuckle.
"Driver and those who fuck the driver pick the music. The shotgun shuts his cakehole" I tell him with a smile.
"Jerk!"
"Bitch!"
"Gobshites, the pair of ye!"