Jamie sat in the back corner of her math class, her notebook open but untouched. The pen in her hand moved absently, scrawling random numbers in the margins of the page, numbers that had no meaning—just distractions. She could hear Mr. Smith up at the front of the class, his voice droning on about algebraic equations, but the words barely registered.
The bell rang, cutting through her thoughts. She blinked, realizing that she hadn't taken a single note. Around her, the other students were already packing up, chatting about after-school plans, football practice, or the latest gossip. Jamie stayed in her seat for a moment, watching as everyone filtered out of the room in pairs or small groups, laughter echoing in the hallway. It was strange how normal everything seemed.
But normal didn't exist for her anymore. Not since...
She shook her head, pushing the thought away as she stuffed her notebook into her bag. The weight in her chest was familiar now, always there, but heavier on days like today. She should have been more focused—should have been able to pull herself out of the fog she was in—but it was like a piece of her was missing. A piece that used to care about school, about friends, about being someone other than the hollow version of herself she'd become. Jamie let out a breath, making her way out of the class room and out of the school, wanting to get home.
Jamie walked through the front door of the Gilbert house, letting it close softly behind her. She kicked off her shoes and hooked her keys by the door, her body aching with the kind of exhaustion that wasn't from physical exertion. School had been the same blur it always was lately—teachers talking, students laughing, all of it happening around her but none of it really touching her.
She could hear Elena moving around in the kitchen, the clatter of dishes mixing with the soft hum of a song playing on the radio. The sound drifted through the house, filling the empty spaces with an illusion of normalcy. But no matter how much noise filled the air, it never quite felt right. The house felt too big now, too quiet despite the small moments of life that still tried to echo through it. It had become their new version of normal, but that didn't mean it was comfortable.
Jamie trudged up the stairs, her feet heavy, as if each step dragged her further into the silence she couldn't escape. Her room had become her sanctuary—a place where she didn't have to fake a smile or answer the same, hollow questions. Once she crossed the threshold, she let out a soft sigh, dropping her school bag by the desk chair before sinking into the chair herself. The dim light of the sun filtered through the curtains, casting a golden hue over her cluttered desk.
She sat there for a moment, staring at her reflection in the darkened screen of her laptop. The weight in her chest that never quite went away pressed harder as she leaned forward, unzipping her bag with a rough tug and pulling out her notebook. She flipped it open to the page where she was supposed to start outlining her English paper. Something about classic literature and the hero's journey. But the words blurred together on the page, and her mind drifted, her thoughts wandering aimlessly as her pen hovered over the notebook.
The quiet buzz of the house settled around her, pressing in from all sides. Jamie let out a frustrated breath, trying to focus, but the void in her chest swallowed everything.
A soft knock on the door pulled her out of her haze.
"Jay, will you come to dinner tonight?" Elena's voice filtered through the door, hopeful but cautious. "I know you're not up for it lately but it would mean a lot."
Jamie didn't answer right away. She started down at the page, her hand still hovering over the person she drew, which she was starting to realize looked like her history teacher. Wasn't she just writing her English paper?
"Who's going?" she finally asked, her voice flat as she shook her head in confusion.
"Bonnie, Stefan and me. It's just going to be here in the kitchen so you won't even have to go out."
Jamie paused again, considering. It wasn't that she didn't want to see them - well, maybe she didn't - but the thought of sitting through another dinner, forcing small talk and pretending everything was okay, felt exhausting.
"Maybe," she mumbled, standing up from her desk.
She didn't know it but Elena's face lit up in a small smile. Jamie's maybes had a way of turning into yeses - and her sister knew it.
☼
Jamie's footsteps creaked along the old wooden stairs as she walked down into the kitchen, the familiar creak bringing comfort to her. She glanced up and saw Elena, Bonnie and Stefan already seated around the table, their conversation basically at a halt. For a second Jamie thought about turning around, retreating to the safety of her room where she could continue to scribble random faces. But she didn't. Instead she walked into the room.
"Jamie!" Bonnie's voice was warm and welcoming, her smile wide as she spotted the brunette.
Jamie gave a tight smile in return. "Hope it's okay I came down. Elena invited me to dinner." Her tone was careful, almost uncertain, as if she were testing the waters.
"Of course it's okay," Bonnie said, her voice full of sincerity.
Jamie nodded and moved to grab a bowl, scooping some food into it while the others watched her, the tension between them all familiar yet unspoken. It was the way things had been for a while now- like everyone was walking on eggshells around her.
Elena cleared her throat, breaking the silence. "Stefan, this is my sister Jamie. You didn't really get to meet her the other night."
Stefan smiles warmly at her "Hi Jamie. Nice to see you again."
"Hello." Jamie replied quietly before taking a bite of her food, avoiding further eye contact while she sat beside Bonnie.
Elena shifted in her seat, trying to keep the conversation going. "Why don't you tell Stefan about your family, Bonnie?"
Bonnie glanced at Jamie for a moment before nodding and talking about her mom and dad before Elena mentioned something about the witches.
"Bonnie's family has a lineage of witches. It's really cool." Elena chimed in.
"Cool isn't the word I'd use." Bonnie said, shaking her head a little.
Stefan says something, but to be honest Jamie wasn't really listening, too busy pushing around her food a little. She did however catch his comment about how Salem witches were heroic examples of individualism and nonconformity.
Jamie, who had just started listening, glanced up and muttered, "And witches are badass."
The room went silent for a beat before Bonnie and Elena shared a suprised look, then a soft laugh. Jamie hadn't said much lately, let alone joke around. It was the first real glimpse of her old self they'd seen in a long time, and the moment wasn't lost on anyone.
The mood lightened for a moment, but the sound of the doorbell ringing cut through it.
Jamie glanced towards the door as Elena went to open it followed by Stefan. From her spot at the table, Jamie saw as Caroline made her way into the kitchen followed by a man Jamie hadn't seen before.
"Hi Care." Jamie said with a small wave.
"Hey Jay." Caroline replied, beaming.
Damon cleared his throat, his eyes landing on Jamie. "Oh, Jay, this is Damon. Stefan's brother. Damon this is Jamie, Elena's sister and one of my best friends."
Damon smirked at Jamie lightly, "It is so nice to meet you Jamie. Or is it Jay?"
"Jamie. Only Caroline and family call me Jay," she corrected, her voice a little sharper than she intended. Something was off with this guy, she just didn't know what.
Damon raised his eyebrows in surprise, a faint smile playing on his lips. "Got it. Jamie it is."
Jamie's gaze shifted to Caroline, eyeing her suspiciously. "Since when do you wear scarves?"
Caroline laughed, brushing her off with a wave of her hand. "It's in season, sweetie."
Jamie hummed quietly, her eyes narrowing as she glanced back at Damon before turning away grabbing her bowl as she stood. "I'll be upstairs finishing dinner," she said excusing herself from the room as the group moved into the living room.
☼
It was officially the first football game of the season, and the school was having a bonfire in celebration. Unfortunately Elena had managed to drag Jamie with her.
The sisters stood around the huge bonfire with the rest of the crowd, listening as the coach went on and on, riling everyone up.
It wasn't long before a commotion broke through the crowd though. Looking over the shoulders of others, Jamie was able to see Tyler and Jeremy fighting, Stefan already on his way to break it up.
"Oh god." Jamie muttered, pushing her way through the crowd. She barely made it to the scene just as Elena was checking over Stefan's hand for something, Jamie really had no clue. But she did know that her little brother was currently walking away.
Jamie followed behind him, her footsteps quiet as she tried to keep up with him. A few minutes later she found him sitting on the curb, wiping at the blood dripping from his nose.
"Let me see." Jamie said softly as she crouched down beside him.
"I'm fine Jamie." Jeremy muttered, not meeting her eyes.
"Good. Now let me see." Jamie repeated, her tone gentle but insistent.
Jeremy finally turned to face her, his gaze tired. Jamie handed him some paper towels she'd grabbed on her way to him, watching as he pressed them to his nose. She didn't push him to talk; she knew better than anyone that forcing someone to open up never worked. Instead, she waited, the silence between them thick but not uncomfortable.
"You gonna ask what happened?" Jeremy finally muttered, his voice low and tight.
Jamie shook her head slightly, glancing at him from the corner of her eye. "I saw enough to know it doesn't really matter. Tyler was acting like a jerk. You're angry." She paused. "End of story."
Jeremy scoffed, though it lacked any real amusement. "You always oversimplify things."
"Maybe." Jamie leaned her arms on her knees, resting her chin, "Or maybe I just don't want to add more drama to an already messed up year."
Jeremy didn't respond, wiping at his nose again. A faint bruise was starting to form, a small reminder of the fights he kept trying to pick - fights that, no matter how pointless, seemed to make him feel something in a way Jamie could understand too well.
"Why do you care anyway?" Jeremy's voice broke the silence, sharper than before. "It's not like you've really been here lately. Not since... everything happened."
For the first time in months, Jamie's heart clenched at his words, the raw honesty behind them cutting deeper than she expected. She'd been bracing for this moment, knowing it would come eventually, whether it was from her siblings or aunt. She shifted uncomfortably, looking up to the sky, not wanting to meet his gaze.
"That's not fair," she said quietly, her voice carrying a weariness that matched the weight of his words. "We all have different ways of dealing with our pain Jer."
Jeremy shook his head, looking at Jamie. "You've been checked out, Jamie. You're here, but you're not really with us anymore. Like none of this even matters to you."
Jamie let out a slow breath, the words sinking in. She knew he was right. Se knew her silence, her distance, was affecting the people around her. But hearing Jeremy say it out loud. Well that pressed heavily on her chest.
"I'm trying," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. It was a lie but that's all she could say. How was she supposed to tell her little brother about the voice that screamed in her memories, haunting her like the moon haunts the sun?
Jeremy's eyes narrowed, frustration boiling beneath the surface. He shook his head, his jaw clenched, standing abruptly as if her words had stung him in some deep, unseen way. "No, Jamie, you're not," he snapped. "You're not trying at all."
Jamie looked up at him, her heart sinking. "You don't get it," she whispered, her voice trembling. "You don't know what it's like."
Jeremy shook his head, his fists clenched at his sides. "I don't know what it's like? I lost them too, Jamie! We lost them together, and you're acting like you're the only one who's broken."
Jamie flinched at his words, her own guilt rising to the surface. "I'm not—"
"You are!" Jeremy cut her off, his voice rising. "You shut us out. You don't talk to me. You don't talk to Elena. You just disappear. You're not the only one hurting, Jamie."
Jamie felt a surge of anger then, her own frustration mixing with the guilt that gnawed at her constantly. "I know that!" she snapped, her voice louder than she intended. "But I can't... I don't... I don't know how to be okay anymore."
Jeremy's expression softened, but the frustration was still there. "You just have to stop pretending like you don't care. We need you, Jamie. I need you."
His words hit her harder than she expected, and for a moment, Jamie felt like she couldn't breathe.
"I don't know how to be there for you," Jamie admitted, her voice breaking. "I don't even know how to be there for myself."
Jeremy sighed, rubbing his forehead, clearly conflicted. "Just try."
Jamie opened her mouth to respond, but the words didn't come. Her chest felt tight, her mind racing with everything she wanted to say but couldn't. She looked at Jeremy, at the pain in his eyes, and for a brief moment, she wanted to try, to really try, to let him in.
But before she could say anything, Jeremy shook his head again, frustration flashing across his face. "Forget it," he muttered. He turned away from her, his steps heavy as he started walking down the street.
"Jeremy," Jamie called after him, her voice barely more than a whisper.
But he didn't stop.
Jamie sat there, staring after him, her heart aching as she watched her little brother disappear into the distance. She wanted to chase after him, to tell him she was sorry, to promise she would try harder. But her legs felt like lead, and the weight of her grief kept her rooted to the spot. It was better this way right? It had to be. She would just drag him down further than he already was.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, but the words were swallowed by the night air, too late to reach him.
☼
Jamie sat on the edge of her bed, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting long shadows across her room. The house was quiet now, Elena was downstairs, and Jeremy... well, he was probably off somewhere, still angry, still hurting. She couldn't blame him.
Her fingers absently brushed against the bottle on her nightstand—the small, orange prescription bottle that had been sitting there for weeks, untouched. The pills inside rattled softly as she picked it up, turning it over in her hands. Take one daily for mood stabilization. The words on the label felt foreign, as if they were meant for someone else, someone who wasn't drowning.
Jamie stared at it for a long moment, the cap cool against her fingers. She knew what the pills were supposed to do, what they were supposed to help with. Dr. Ramsey had told her it would help ease the weight she felt, make the bad days more manageable, maybe even help her sleep. But every time she thought about taking one, she hesitated.
It felt like giving in. Like admitting that she couldn't handle it on her own.
Her chest tightened at the thought, and she placed the bottle back on the nightstand with a soft clink, her hand lingering there as if she couldn't quite let go.
Just take one. It's not that hard. The rational part of her mind whispered, but Jamie pulled her hand away, curling it into a fist in her lap. She had told herself she was fine, that she didn't need help, but sitting here, staring at those pills, she couldn't deny the truth anymore. She wasn't fine. Not even close.
She leaned back against the headboard, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, her eyes still locked on the bottle. She hadn't cried in a long time. She couldn't. The tears never came, even when she wanted them to. It was as if the pain had burrowed too deep, numbing her from the inside out.
Jamie exhaled, a slow, shaky breath as she tried to push the weight of the day from her shoulders. Her conversation with Jeremy echoed in her mind, his words cutting deeper than she'd let on. I need you. He'd said that like she could just snap her fingers and be the sister he remembered. But she wasn't that person anymore.
And she wasn't sure she ever would be again.
Her gaze drifted back to the pills. Maybe... But the thought trailed off as quickly as it came. Jamie didn't want to rely on them. What if they didn't work? What if they did? Would they fix her, or would they just mask everything, keep her from feeling anything at all? The last one did nothing at all, how could these be any better?
She reached out, her fingers brushing the cool plastic of the bottle again, this time gripping it more firmly. She twisted the cap off slowly, staring down at the small white tablets inside. So simple, so easy to take. One swallow and maybe... maybe the numbness would fade. Maybe she'd be able to breathe again.
But the weight of it all pressed down harder, and her hand shook as she held the pill between her fingers. She hovered there, caught between the choice to try or the choice to let it sit, like it had for weeks.
A tear pricked the corner of her eye, surprising her. She blinked it away quickly, unwilling to let it fall.
With a deep breath, she placed the pill back in the bottle, screwing the cap on tightly. She wasn't ready yet. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day. Maybe never.
She leaned back into her pillows, turning off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness. But the silence wasn't as comforting as it should have been. Instead, it pressed in around her, heavy and suffocating. She curled deeper under her blankets, pulling them tightly around her, hoping that sleep would come quickly, hoping that tomorrow wouldn't feel as overwhelming as today had.
But the pills stayed untouched, and Jamie closed her eyes, drifting into the same restless oblivion that had been haunting her for weeks.
------
Another chapter! I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. I know it may seem a little fast but it's really not in the long run. Jamie won't get better with the snap of one's fingers. She had to just take a step in the direction.
Question of the day: Is there a character that you want Jamie to have a close relationship with?
Have a great day!