She shakes her head at him, her guard simply refusing to believe anything he says, despite her heart crying out for her to just stop. "I always found it weird you insisted I stay here rather than another safe house, but now I get it—you just want to be in control. Make sure everything is set up perfectly so it's a smooth run to head of the division."
"I have worked my ass off for that!" he shouts. "Years of hard work! It has been anything but easy!" Lucas clenches the countertop and takes a breath, exhaling slowly. "I am sorry you feel like I lied to you, but I am not the bad guy here. I didn't expect to come to care about you, Samantha, but I do. Yes, I admit at first I kept you here because I wanted to make sure you would make it to the trial, but now," he closes his eyes, "you're all I think about, Samantha. I can't even concentrate on the actual case if I'm not sure one of the guys is right next to you. It's not about a promotion anymore."
"If that's the case, then why didn't you just tell me? Why keep it a secret?" Samantha asks. "How am I supposed to trust that you're not manipulating me right now? That you feel that way after only two weeks? I don't know what to think! I don't even trust my own thoughts now. I don't know what's a lie or a manipulation."
"I want the promotion; I have personal reasons I want it for, but I wasn't trying to keep it a secret. I just honestly didn't think to mention it. I am sorry, Samantha," he steps towards her again, "you are more than just a witness."
"Lucas, I want to believe you."
"Then do so," he pleads.
"Don't you understand? I can't. After so much bad in my life, I need trust and honesty at least in the person I am with. That's gone now. If I let a single thing pass, you'll take a mile," She wipes her eyes. "I'll accept this is partly my fault for thinking we could have what I thought in two weeks. It's unreasonable, and this has just proven that. It was all attraction, and I let myself go."
"No, don't do that," He shakes his head. "Don't try to rationalize what we have. It might be different, but it's bullshit to call it unreasonable."
"You want to know what your friend said? She said, 'He should have been preparing you to leave,'" she shrugs. "If one of your friends is saying that, then who am I to only have known you for two weeks? What am I supposed to do with that information? Anything is anything."
"I don't give a crap what shit someone fed you. No matter how much I want that promotion, I wouldn't bend my morals for it. I understand I was selfish, but I never did it to hurt you. Please believe that."
"So, ever the honorable agent. I'll make sure to tell Dixon."
Lucas holds up a hand. "Dixon started this?"
"No, you did, Lucas!"
Lucas looks away, thinking. "Why would she not want you to be a witness? It's not like her." His eyes grow wide. "Holy shit, it's Dixon. She was in that van." He grabs his jacket and puts it on. Samantha looks at him in disbelief. Is he leaving?
"I have to go, but we will continue this later," Lucas makes a move to the front door.
"Right, of course, go running back to your precious case!"
"Vaughn will be by—"
"I can't freaking believe this. You are really about to just leave!"
"Sam—"
"All the shit you say counts for nothing. At the end of the day, the case always goes first, doesn't it?" Samantha feels her hands shake with rage.
Lucas rubs his temples. "You're too angry to reason right now. I'll—"
"If you leave now, I'm done, Lucas. Not just with you, because that has already ended, but any connection to you. I have too much going on in my life to have any more men like you in it."
"I have to go," he repeats.
"Then I have my answer. You put progress in your case above all else. We are done."
"Stop!" He roars, stepping towards her. Samantha stops talking, her eyes growing wide, recognizing the look on his face. It's the same one Michael wore. He looks furious, standing to his full height. Her lip trembles in fright. This must be the Lucas the culprits get to see.
"I'm sorry," Lucas puts his hands up, instantly looking remorseful. "I didn't mean—" He stops. "Wait, you're scared of me, aren't you? All I've ever done is protect you, but you're still scared. You put me on the same level as Michael," he scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief. "You know what? It doesn't matter what I tell you; you won't believe me. You've got this idea in your head that all men are evil and manipulative."
"Because you are. What else do you call what you did? You freaking kept the fact I am leaving a secret," her anger rises again. "I'll never have my life back, and you kept that from me instead of allowing me to prepare. You are the same."
She watches hurt flash over his face, quickly turning into anger.
"That's what you want, right? You probably want more than anything for me to be like that so you can run away the next chance you get."
Samantha clenches her jaw. "I don't trust you because you are a liar. You kept things from me for your benefit. A man who truly cared wouldn't do that, and now you are about to leave in the middle of our conversation. You couldn't even wait a couple of minutes until we were done."
He tilts his head nostrils flaring, "You are not being fair," he looks away, "Your life has got you so messed up and you need help before you keep messing up every good thing in your life and then blame it on some curse. I tried, and clearly, I can't."
Samantha feels her hands go cold. She closes her eyes, pushing away her father's image from her head. She tries to erase the words her father told her mom that Lucas just repeated. Lucas is supposed to be good for her.
"Guess I do, don't I? I'm the problem, right?"
Samantha opens her eyes again. Tears fall out, but she doesn't care anymore. She feels her control slip. The grip she had on her strength to keep going despite all the pain she wakes up to loosens. Suddenly she feels like she is floating, like nothing really matters anymore. "I'm the problem. It's my fault. Micheal was only trying to fix me with every hit, right, Lucas? The one before that was only trying to help me understand with all his words. My father was only trying to fix me. Because I'm the problem."
"There was more than one?" Lucas whispers, his anger seeming to fade. "Baby," he lifts a hand to her but then drops it, "I didn't mean—"
"I've always said I'm my mother's daughter, making the same mistakes as her over and over again. One would think I would have learned by now, right?" Samantha goes to him, her hands shaking. If even Lucas agrees with everyone, what if she is the crazy one? What if all her bad luck is truly just her?
"Samantha," Lucas says with sad eyes.
"No, you've said what you've been thinking. Can't take it back now. I am the problem. I can see that now. Of all the people who tried to get me to realize that, you, Lucas, have done it. Does that make you proud?" Samantha tries to push the pain away. "You said I needed fixing and you tried to help." She looks away. "I didn't even notice you tried to. I thought I'd finally found someone who didn't think I needed to be fixed, but I was wrong. I do." She sucks in a shaky breath. "My mom couldn't be fixed. I told you that, right? The cops thought she was the problem. She was murdered, and they considered it solved. It only makes sense that I, since I've followed her every mistake, receive the same end. With my luck, I'll be dead by the time the month is over."
"Please don't say that," Lucas says. She inspects his eyes, finding them clouded with tears. Good, he may have opened her eyes, but he also completed the job the others left unfinished. "Bella, please don't talk like this."
Samantha puts her hands on his chest and pushes. Hard. "You wanted to go, so go. Get Dixon, be the hero."
Lucas stays in place, gripping her arms.
"Go!" She yells, pushing him again. He looks hesitantly between the door and her. "GO!" She screams.
Lucas opens the door. "Vaughn will be here in a few minutes. Please don't go anywhere."
"Where am I going to go? I am stuck here."
Lucas hesitates again. "I'm going to go. Give you time to calm down, but when I come back, we are going to have a reasonable discussion. One with both our heads clear."
"You've said all you need to say, Lucas," Samantha shrugs her shoulders, feeling like they might drop to the floor.
"No, I haven't, and I was wrong to say what I did. Please know that." He kisses her on the head, staying a second too long, but then he is gone. Samantha stares at the closed door, wishing he wouldn't have listened to her. Wishing he had stayed.
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I hope I didn't make the argument tooooo long, but I had a lot I wanted them to say.
Mucho amorrrrrrrrr <3