"Papa, I am sorry. I couldn't clear JEE."
My palms were shivering in fear. I had tears waiting to come out of my eyes.
"I know that." He said without even looking at me.
"I tried but I couldn't"
"Don't lie. Accept that you didn't give your best."
"I did, papa. "
"You wasted all my money. I should have never got you admitted in that coaching Institute. "
"I am sorry" And that's when I let myself release all the tears which I was holding from so long.
"Go wash you face. Don't cry. What's done is done. " He said, now in soft tone.
"I am sorry. " I whispered and ran to another room.
I hugged pillow tightly and wished if I were genius in mathematics, physics. Papa will never understand that I suck when it comes to calculation and derivations. I wish I could tell that I tried my level best, I studied as much as I can but I couldn't make through it because I am not good at it.
"Drink water, Adi" Maa came and passed me a glass of water.
I didn't have any courage guts to look into her eyes. I was ashamed of failing in exam.
I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost
If I'm asking for help it's only because I have lost myself!!
Mother looking at me
Tell me what do you see?
Yes, I've lost my mind
Daddy looking at me
Will I ever be free?
Have I crossed the line?
All the things they said
All the things they said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Father to daughter -
I do not understand this child.
Though we have lived together now
In the same house for years, I know
Nothing of her,so try to build
Up a relationship from how
She was when smallsmall. Yet have I killed?
The seed I spent or sown it where
The land is her and none of mine?
We speak like strangers there's no sign
Of understanding in the air.
This child is built to my design
Yet what she loves I can not share.
Silence surrounds us, I would have
Her prodigal returning to
Her father's house, the home she knew.
Rather than see her make and move.
Her world, I would forgive her too
Shaping from sorrow a new love.
Father and daughter both must live
On the same globe, on the same land.
She speaks : I cannot understand
Myself, why anger grows from grief
We each put out an empty hand
Longing for something to forget.
Daily reminder,
1. Your skin is not a paper, so don't cut it
2. Your neck not a coat, so don't hang it
3. Your body is not a book, so don't judge it
4. Your heart is not a door, so don't lock it
5. Your life is not a movie, so don't end it
Remember to love yourself because you are freaking star...
To be continued...