NATALIE LOOKS BACK AT THE YOUNGER GIRL WHO'S STANDING BEHIND THE WINDOW, sending her one last assuring smile before she and Travis disappear to the woods. Bunny stares at the snowflakes that fall behind the window. Some get stuck on the frozen glass, blurring the already poor sight from the attic's window. As Natalie's figure is finally out of sight, Bunny lets out a small sigh, her breath fogging the window as she blinks softly.
She hears the floor creak.
"Are you ready?", Lottie's voice is soft as she pulls herself into the attic, her presence comforting Bunny warmly as the girl nods. She hates lying to Natalie, but she is truly terrified she'll go crazy. Bunny has always been paranoid, she's always known there is something wrong with her. But here, in this silence, the beating war drum that is the compulsive voice in her head bangs louder than ever. Even though she doesn't know what exactly Lottie's help is doing for her, at least she feels like her pain isn't in vain.
Lottie and Bunny had to continue their meetings in secret, using the attic as a sanctuary for their ritualistic acts, shielding the judgment and fear away that the others still held onto.
As Bunny lays down, her head in Lottie's lap and her eyes wrapped in that blindfold, Bunny starts counting. It didn't take long for her to pass out, the tiredness claiming her limbs like a plague as her mind drifted off. Lottie breathes deeply as she watches over the girl.
The late afternoon sunlight slanted through the tall windows of the Upper West Side apartment, casting golden patterns on the floor. The air was filled with the sounds of the city—distant car horns, the hum of life beyond the walls. She stirred on the sofa, the soft creak of leather accompanying her slow return to consciousness.
"Mommy, wake up! We gotta go see the dinosaurs!" His voice was a mix of urgency and excitement, a small hand tugging insistently at hers.
She opened her eyes to find her son's face inches from hers, his eyes wide and eager. His enthusiasm was infectious, and despite the grogginess clinging to her, she couldn't help but smile. "Alright, alright, I'm up," she said, sitting up and stretching.
From the bedroom, her husband's voice drifted out, humming a tune as he buttoned his shirt. He appeared in the doorway, adjusting his tie, a warm smile spreading across his face as he saw them. "You two ready for some dinosaurs?" he asked, a playful gleam in his eye.
She nodded, running a hand through her copper hair, still tousled from sleep. "Give me five minutes to get dressed," she said, ruffling her son's hair as she stood. He bounced on his toes, barely containing his excitement.
As she returned her husband had their son's tiny sneakers in hand, crouching to help him lace them up. She watched them for a moment, her heart swelling with a mixture of affection and something more complicated. She wasn't in love with him—not in the way people spoke of love—but he was her best friend, her rock. He adored her and was an incredible father. It was enough.
"Ready?" he asked, standing and offering her a hand. She took it, squeezing gently.
"Ready," she replied.
The walk to the American Museum of Natural History was filled with their son's excited chatter about the dinosaurs he hoped to see. He darted ahead, pulling them along like a small, determined force of nature. Her husband laughed, his rich, warm voice carrying on the breeze, and she was reminded of the first time she heard it in the echoing halls of the Paris Catacombs.
Inside the museum, their son's eyes grew wide with wonder as they entered the dinosaur exhibit. He darted from display to display, his small fingers pressed against the glass, breathless with excitement. Her husband watched him with a proud, tender expression, and she felt a pang of gratitude for this man who had become her family.
They spent hours wandering the halls, marveling at the prehistoric giants towering above them. Her husband's colleagues greeted them warmly, their son proudly showing off his knowledge of each dinosaur. She trailed behind, content to watch the two of them together, her heart full.
As the day drew to a close and they made their way back home, her son's energy finally waned. He fell asleep in her husband's arms, his small face peaceful. They walked in comfortable silence, the city alive around them.
Back in their apartment, she tucked their son into bed, pressing a kiss to his forehead. In the living room, her husband was already settling on the sofa, the day's events leaving him pleasantly tired. She joined him, leaning into his side.
He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. "Today was a good day," he said softly.
She nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. "It was."
Silence fell between the two as they listened to the city's ever-going hum. She felt his hand press against her side, soothing down the material of her shirt. "You're gonna have to wake up soon, Susie", his voice was soft and low as he spoke, pressing a kiss into the woman's hair.
She hummed, her eyes closing as she felt the familiar warmth spread through her.
"I know", she whispered, leaning into his warmth.
"Bunny, Bunny, what's wrong?", Lottie's voice was like the sound of a shattering glass in an empty ballroom, piercing and clear. Bunny tears off the blindfold as the tears fall down her cheeks, her breath frantic and short. Lottie helps the girl to sit, her hands smoothing down her hair as she sobs.
"I had a baby", Bunny cries, her hands gripping the wooden floor as she sobs the horrible, crippling feeling that is taking over her whole chest. In that moment, Bunny feels a true heartbreak for the first time. Lottie frowns as she looks at the girl.
"What?", her voice is calm and soothing as she speaks to the crying girl. Bunny shakes her head, her voice hiccuping as she tries to calm her breaths.
And she just cries, her chest rising and falling quickly as the sobs grow more violent with every passing second. Lottie's brows furrow even more as she listens to the girl, her hand soothing the girl's back.
Bunny's head falls onto Lottie's shoulder as she brings her arms around the girl. Lottie frowns as she stares into the distance, her mind trying its best to wrap around what the girl is saying. The two stay like that for a while; Bunny in Lottie's arms, rocking back and forth.
Bunny's eyes are red and puffy as she stares at the window, her eyes glued to the frozen glass of the cabin. The fog that rises from Lottie's tea cuts the cold air like a knife, warming Bunny's fingers pleasantly as she holds it close.
"Are you feeling better?", Akilah asks, her voice small but soft as she walks by the blonde. Bunny snaps out of her trance, her mouth twisting into a small smile as she nods at the girl. "Yeah", her voice almost fails her as she nods. The younger girl nods and continues her way to the kitchen. It weirded everyone out to suddenly see Bunny so depressed when just that morning she had been acting all normal. Well, the new normal. Lottie said that Bunny just had a lot on her plate, which didn't help anyone's confusion and, as matter a of fact only made it worse.
Bunny stares at the moving figures behind the glass, doing their daily tasks as the snow just keeps falling.
As the screaming starts Bunny snaps out of her trance once more, following the others outside as they grow curious.
Bunny's brows knit together as she looks at upset Taissa and Shauna who are standing behind Lottie. "I fucking told you that it wasn't okay! I knew that it wasn't alright", Taissa screams as Van grabs her by the arm. Bunny's eyes flicker between all the girls. What is going on?
"What?", Bunny asks, her voice cutting the air like a knife. Taissa turns to look at the blonde, her eyes burning as she turns to look back at the brunette. Shauna's eyes stay on the ground, she is too afraid to look up, too afraid to look at Bunny.
"Go on, Shauna, tell them! Tell them what you've been up to with Jackie", Taissa spits, her voice sharp and cold as she points at the meat shack. Bunny's stomach turns, as the look of confusion turns into one filled with disgust. She looks at Shauna as she feels the fury burning inside her - Taissa's fury.
"Just... talking", Shauna whispers.
Taissa scoffs, "talking? Shauna's been braiding Jackie's hair, she's been doing her fucking makeup. And you've been posing her, right?"
Bunny's eyes grow wide as she takes a step down from the porch, "what?" Her voice is mixed with hurt and anger. How could she? After Jackie's blood on her hands, how could she?
"Adjusting her limbs like some fucked up doll? Is that normal, Lottie?", Taissa exclaims, but the tall brunette only turns to look at terrified Shauna and whispers, "It's okay."
"What, Lottie? It's not okay!", Bunny yells, her anger building as Lottie takes chooses her side. Taissa's eyes flicker to Bunny, who is now at her side. "It's not fucking okay!", Taissa yells, causing Lottie to launch forward, "She was her best friend, Tai!"
"She was my friend too!", Bunny screams back, pushing herself between Taissa and Lottie as Van pushes the dark brunette back. Lottie's eyes scan the girl's face as the accusation changes to sympathy and then to defensiveness once more. Bunny shakes her head softly as she turns to look at Shauna again, her eyes dropping to the girl's stomach.
I had a baby.
"Shauna, this has to stop", Bunny's voice is on the edge of breaking as she holds back the urge to cry again. Shauna's brown eyes flicker up from the ground, swimming with tears as she looks at the blonde. Taissa nods in agreement, her eyes swelling with tears as well, "for your own good. And for the good of the baby."
Shauna inhales sharply, "Like you, or any of you, know what's good for the baby."
"It sure as hell ain't this", Taissa voices, her eyes as sharp as her voice, "we are getting rid of Jackie's body. We are getting rid of Jackie's two-month-old corpse!" Taissa turns to look at the others, her voice commanding as she speaks. Bunny swallows but nods in agreement, her eyes still flickering down to Shauna's belly.
"No!", Shauna exclaims, but is only greeted with Taissa's already made up mind, "Yes."
Shauna's eyes are desperate as she cries, "We can't even bury her. The ground is frozen solid."
Bunny inhales, her breath shaky as she crosses her arms, hugging herself. "We can cremate her", her voice is small. Jackie deserves to go to rest. Her soul deserves peace.
"No", Shauna shakes her head.
"Help us gather firewood, we need to do this by sunset", Taissa starts to order the others, as Shauna cries, begging for them to stop. Lottie and Bunny share a look, mixed with frustration and desperation. Even though they disagree, they have to talk about it later.
"Hey", Taissa calls as she walks by Bunny, whose eyes are glued to the snow-covered forest floor. She is zoning out again. Bunny doesn't answer, until Taissa's hand sets on the girl's shoulder.
"Thanks for backing me up", Taissa thanks, clearing her throat as she quickly pulls her hand away from the girl. Bunny nods, shrugging the girl off. "You were right", Bunny sighs, "it's not normal. I don't understand why Lottie was encouraging her so much..."
Taissa cocks a brow, "Aren't you like... Lottie's number one fan or something, nowadays?"
Bunny matches the judging look on the girl's face, "No? She just--", Bunny lifts her shoulders as she tries to search for the right words, "I don't know, she just tries to help. And I for sure need it, so does Shauna." Taissa inhales as she looks at the girl.
"And you think she's helping you by sending you into like sleep paralysis?"
Bunny rolls her eyes as she chuckles softly. "It was a serious question", Taissa says, not finding her comment funny. Bunny cocks her head, "Tai, you know me better than anyone. You know that there's something seriously wrong with me."
"There's nothing wrong with you, Bunny, you're just different", Tai scoffs, fixing her grip on the firewood she is holding in her arms. Bunny gives the girl a tight smile.
"I refused to attend the student body meetings because they always started late and it gave me so much anxiety that I rather skipped the whole day of school than let it affect my daily schedule", Bunny's argument is good, it almost leaves Taissa defeated. Tai shakes her head, "So what? I sleepwalk, you... stress out? It doesn't have to mean anything!"
"And I would agree with you if we were still at home. But we're not, Tai. And I feel like I'm gonna lose my fucking mind, and nobody else is taking me seriously, but Lottie", Bunny sighs.
Taissa feels guilt bang in her chest.
"I think there's something in the way Lottie just reads this place that makes sense to me. And I just want to feel like something fucking makes sense", Bunny's voice is tired more than anything else, she isn't angry just tired. Taissa stays quiet before nodding, "I think you are scared and you need something to cling onto. I can't blame you for that."
Bunny nods, she knows there's no use in trying to talk Taissa around. They stay quiet for a moment once more, their eyes flickering towards the cabin behind them as they start slowly walking towards it together.
"You sleepwalked last night again?", Bunny asks suddenly, her voice curious as she looks at the taller girl. Tai hesitates before nodding. They fall silent again.
"I wish you would've told me about Natalie and you", Taissa says out of the blue, her voice a little sad as she speaks, it caught Bunny off guard. Her brows knit together as she looks at the girl.
"I'm sorry", she says immediately, knowing that she messed up by not talking to Taissa. The time never felt right, with Shauna's pregnancy and Van's injury. And as the two girls grew apart, it felt stupid. Taissa looks up from the ground her eyes meeting with Bunny's.
"I'm sorry too", the taller girl says as she sets down the firewood alongside Bunny. Bunny nods, her mouth forming a small sad smile as they stare at each other. And suddenly the two wrap their arms around each other, hugging each other like the two scared teenagers that they are. The weeks of barely speaking fade out of their memory as they hold each other, melting into each other's touch.
They are best friends first, barely surviving starving girls second.