When my mum finally came out of the room, she was followed by my two sisters, who were dressed in their reaping day dresses, their most presentable and expensive clothes - even though they were still cheap.
They had nervous looks on their faces, as they knew they must leave soon. Only Prim's hair was put up. My mum looked over at me, made a subtle face and said, "Katniss says that you have to do her hair."
She looked stressed, as she looked over her two daughters, and I almost felt sorry for her, but then I realised she had never looked at me that way. She had always only wanted daughters, and she made sure to act like it too.
I made my way past the girls and into the bedroom, then sat on the bed. Katniss followed me, and I used my hands to motion the space between my legs, for her to sit down. I then offered her a pillow, which she took, put on the floor then sat down where I told her to.
She handed me a hair tie and I then started the process of doing her hair. I did it slowly, to appreciate this time, as it only happened once a year - every reaping day. It was another one of our little traditions that we've had for years, since I had learnt to braid hair. Time went too fast as I finished her braid in what seemed like no time at all.
My mother came into the room and told me that I should begin ready now, as there was not much time left before we had to leave, and she didn't want me to make a fool of her. I realised that I must've spent more time on hair than I originally thought, and I only had around 20 minutes to get dressed. It was more than enough time, and I was finished with 10 minutes to spare.
I did not want to socialise with anyone before we had to go, so I spent the rest of the time staring at myself in the mirror. My face was tinged slightly red where I scrubbed the dirt off it, and my hair was wet where I tried to make it look at least somewhat presentable. I dressed in a clean t-shirt and normal trousers. I didn't feel the need to dress up, even if my mum disagreed.
I heard my mum's voice call my name down the hall, meaning it was time to leave. It was still considered a little early, with 30 minutes before the ceremony started, but she didn't want any peacekeepers to come knocking on our door so she wanted to leave now.
We joined the main street, and it seemed that other families from the seam had the same idea as us, so we followed them on our journey to the centre. It took us longer than most, as we lived on the outskirts of 12, in the poorest area.
We arrived and split into our different lines, with me joining the male 18 year old line without a goodbye from my mum. I reached the front of the line and got my finger pricked by the Capitol worker. It didn't hurt as much as it used to, and I quickly moved on when the worker gave me the okay, and joined my line in the crowd.
It took a bit, but eventually everyone was checked in and ready for the ceremony to begin.
----
The Capitol escort for district 12, Effie Trinket, walked out from the Justice Building and up to the microphone. She made sure to stand straight and look directly into the crowd before she said: "Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be forever in your favour!" With a small smile on her face, like every year, she gestured toward the big screen and made us watch the video from the Capitol.
The video showed the rebellion of the people of the past, and used their political narrative as an excuse on why they had to destroy district 13. It was complete and utter bullshit if you asked me, so I just tuned it out.
Before I knew it the video was over and it was time for the name selection - where everyone found out the two tributes from 12. Effie finished her small speech, and announced: "Like always, ladies first," and reached her hand into the bowl.
She made a show of digging her hand around ruffling her finger through the papers, before she plucked one out and unravelled it infront of her face.
She cleared her throat before she leaned into the microphone and exclaimed the name, "Michelle McKenna!"
I could see everyone's shoulders in the girls half of the crowd drop, relieved that they would live another year. All except one.
"Well come on now don't be shy!" Effie says as no one moves to come to the stage. No one spoke up, but soon the crowd of girls parted away from the girl, revealing a girl who must've been around 15 with a terrified look on her face. She seemed frozen into space, only moved when two peacekeepers came behind her and forcibly pushed her forward.
A woman cried out from the background, a raw scream for her child. I look back to see a woman crying her eyes out, being held back by her husband, who also looked to have unshed tears in his eyes.
The girl's face stayed frozen as she stood on the stage, her hands clearly shaking beside her. The camera zoomed in on her face until all you could see was her wide eyes filled with tears, which then fell down her face at a rapid rate a second later.
Effie moved over to the bowl containing the boys' names. Mine would be in there around 55 times. The odds were not in my favour. I held my breath as she reached her hand into the bowl, doing the same dramatic movements as just one minute ago, until she pulled out a name. The feeling in my gut from this morning only grew larger as she unravelled it, and leaned into the microphone.
"Rowan Everdeen!"
Time around me felt like it had suddenly stopped. The air from my lungs disappeared into nothing, and when I tried to breathe in nothing was there. Ringing surrounded my ears but two voices clearly entered my head. Both of my sisters were crying and calling my name at the same time.
I looked up at the big screen and noticed that my face was not yet pictured there, so I quickly put on a blank face, showing none of the internal feelings I was going through. I wanted to look strong, if not for myself and the future, then for my sisters who were calling out my name.
As soon as I changed my facial expressions the camera managed to find me in the crowd, and I was suddenly staring at myself. I didn't have any obvious signs of grief on my face, so I supposed I did a good job of hiding them.
Not wanting to be escorted by peacekeepers, I started to make my way forward to the stage. I could still hear Katniss and Prim's voices, but noticed that my mother's own was missing from the mix. It seemed as though she didn't seem too bothered that I was going to die.
I made it up the stairs and stood next to Effie Trinket, where she told us two tributes to shake hands. We did, then I immediately turned to the crowd and locked eyes with Katniss. Although there weren't any tear tracks on her face, I could see them welling up in her eyes, but I knew she was trying to stay strong.
She never did like crying in front of people, seeing it as a weakness. Prim wasn't so concerned with not showing emotions. Her face was wet with tears and her cheeks and nose slightly red from her crying too.
I gave them both a small smile, trying to stop them worrying and their tears from flowing. I didn't know that it was being taped until I looked back to the screen, seeing my face taking up the whole thing.
I looked to the floor, trying to think about what to do, then came to the conclusion that if I wanted a chance in the games, I would need sponsors. With that I made up my mind. I look back up with a confident look on my face, straight into the camera, and smirked - hoping that it wouldn't backfire later.
Effie began to speak again, "And with that, you have your district 12 tributes! Can we have a round of applause for them?" No one clapped, no one even moved, too filled with relief that it was not them standing on the stage.
Everyone began filing away as we were escorted back into the Justice Department. I was ushered into a room alone, with a peacekeeper standing guard outside. I supposed they didn't want any escapees.
----
I looked around and realised that it was the nicest room I had ever seen, let alone been in. They must've wanted tributes to feel spoiled before they were sent to their deaths. I didn't care, didn't want to appreciate it, and instead sat down on one of the chairs. If it was the softest thing I've ever felt, I wouldn't claim it.
I sat in deep thought until I heard the door open, then felt two small bodies crash into mine. They held me tightly until I could no longer breathe. I would've pushed them off if I wasn't holding them just as tightly.
Looking up, I only felt more defeated when I realised that my own mother hadn't even come to say goodbye to her own son. I guess she wouldn't even miss me if I was gone forever. I tried not to let even more negative thoughts enter my mind.
"Rowan, you have to come back!" My youngest sister cried into my chest, and I held the back of her head, trying to comfort her.
Katniss continued her idea saying, "You told me you would teach me how to hunt with a knife, you have to come back," her face was still dry, but her voice wavered with emotion.
"I'll try," I replied to them both. I couldn't start making promises that I couldn't keep.
"No," Katniss began, "You can't just try, you have to win," she finished with a firmer edge to her voice. I was about to say something, before she cut me off again, "Do what you have to do, just come back to us," and a single tear finally ran down her cheek.
I didn't respond, knowing my voice would show how I was truly feeling, so I nodded instead. They both held their pinkies out to me, and said "Promise?" I linked both of mine with theirs and said, "I promise I'll try." It was the best I could say to them.
The time went too quick and peacekeepers came in to escort the two out. They didn't want to let go, but I whispered in their ear that they should leave before they got hurt, so they reluctantly left. But before Katniss pulled away completely, she slipped something into my hand.
When the peacekeepers left, I opened my hand and inspected what Katniss had given me. It was a bronze pin, with a mockingjay the vocal point of the piece. I wondered where Katniss had gotten it from, but I knew she would want me to keep it safe.
I would be sure to find a way to take it into the arena, to be my lucky charm throughout the games. A piece of my family would come through the arena with me, knowing they were waiting for me back home.
But it was time to leave for the train, which would take us tributes to the Capitol, where the real show began.