M A R G O T – 2 0 2 4
THE steam, which rose from the pan in front of her, slightly tickled her face. Her laptop next to her played the seventh episode of 'The Mentalist' which she had put on right after breaking down in front of the apartment door.
Still, she had somehow found the strength to pick herself up from the floor and drag her aching, weak body towards the sofa. Her plans to grab groceries had gotten flushed down the drain right when her sister called to give her a snide lecture about Charles.
One of the familiar kind that Margot had shut down immediately.
It was over now.
There was no reason to make her life even more like hell on earth.
And for the first time in Valérie's life, the younger had kept quiet for hours, simply listening to her sister quietly sobbing in-between her words.
She twirled the wooden spatula through the pan to stir up the spinach that she cooked with some cream cheese and Gorgonzola as a sauce for the pasta boiling in a pot next to it.
Margot giggled weakly when Lisbon whined, "Oh god, Jane, why'd you do that?" Their dynamic on the show had always striked her as rather compelling. The writers really didn't give her much of a choice but to root for them from the start.
"Oh God, Margot, 'The Mentalist' again? Really?" Bennois chuckled when he followed his nose to enter the kitchen behind her. She hadn't even heard him come through the front door.
He put his bag down on the same bar stool Charles sat in. His eyes scanned the still full mug with cold coffee on the kitchen isle in front.
His eyebrows pulled into a frown.
"What happened?" he asked her and stepped next to her at the stove. Bennois studied her side profile intently. "Margot?"
She continued to stir the spinach. The soft mixture had already become somewhat even, but she couldn't quit the monotonous movements of her arm. Her mind barely grasped anything but the redundant processing of the same motion repeated over and over again.
His hand lay down on her lower back. "Hey, my dear. What's up?"
Margot shrugged and nibbled her bottom lip. The piercing sensation when her front teeth pulled a fine sheet of skin off it to reveal the fragile, rosy flesh beneath, she just hummed.
"Hey, hey!" he called out a tad louder and took the spatula from her hand before turning off the heat and pulling her to the side. Carefully, Bennois lifted up her chin to make her look at him. "What happened?" he asked with a firmer voice now.
She pressed her lips flat. The tiny droplets of blood were squeezed flat between them. "Charles was here," she croaked.
"What?" he gasped in disbelief and furrowed his brows even deeper. His forehead lay in wrinkles. "Why?"
"We talked," was all she could force to exhale from her tight chest. "And we said our goodbyes."
The moment the final word rolled off her lips, they started to tremble under the violent sobs erupting from within her body. She grabbed his upper arms to find the stability she needed to remain on her feet.
"Oh God, hey," he whispered and pulled her shaking body against his chest. "Margot, it's okay. I am here, it's fine. Let it out."
Her fingers dug into his shirt. She pulled lasting wrinkles into the fabric, which remained even when her grip loosened to give herself some more room to breathe. Nevertheless, Bennois held her close.
"C'mon-" He slowly guided her towards the living room. "-let's sit down, shall we?"
"I made dinner," she mumbled when he cautiously pressed her down to sit on the comfy sofa.
Bennois smiled. "I know, thank you. Let's eat together later, okay?"
His hands cupped her cheeks carefully. The slim streams of tears wetted his palms when his eyes locked on hers. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Margot shrugged her shoulders and gulped to prevent another gush of tears from breaking free. She knew that it was a lost cause. Her complicated friendship with Charles had ended after fighting through obstacle after obstacle for years. In hindsight, it had been obvious that their relationship wouldn't end in a 'happy ever after'. Still, even after 18 years, she had somehow believed it. At least a bit.
At least with her heart.
"I don't know what to say. It's just-"
He nodded. "Complicated?"
"And over," she hummed. Margot moved her face away from his touch and let herself sink deeper into the cushions.
A sigh crept from her lips. "It's just weird. A part of me saw it coming years ago, and still it hurts. It's confusing like-" She grappled for words. "-like I am feeling the emotions of two seperate people."
Bennois listened closely. His full attention was on her. Carefully, he slid one hand onto hers and gently locked their fingers. "Take some time, okay? This must be hard, and you should fully work through that before moving on," he advised and shot her a soft smile.
Margot's frown loosened a bit. "Thank you," she whispered. Her eyes moved back to scan his face. "How long can I stay here?"
He shook his head. "As long as you want to," Bennois replied without any hesitation. The decision must have been made a while ago already.
She nodded and ran her thumb along the side of his index. Her head felt dull. Every usually sharp and pointy thought had turned gray and pale, muffling her mind like a cloud of dust.
"My father invited me and my sister to have a dinner together next week," Bennois announced.
Margot blinked at him with a silent question attached to her gaze.
"And he asked us to bring whoever we're seeing at the moment in case we are dating or something like that," he added.
The blurry picture became clearer.
"And I would like to bring you if you want," Bennois passed down his father's invitation.
Her lips formed an O while her eyes widened a bit. Her eyes roamed the room. Obviously, the only person qualified to accompany him, would be her. After all, they were dating. At least somehow.
"Only if you want to. I could tell him that I'll go alone-"
"I would love to," she agreed, her head snapping back to face him.
Bennois bit his lip to cut off the words quickly spilling from his mouth. He started to smile. "Really?"
"Really," Margot repeated and grinned when he got close to press a soft peck to her cheek. She grabbed his hand firmer.
"I know that you don't want a label yet, and I get why but-" He cleared his throat when the more serious words left his mouth. "-could we please set our relationship of whatever kind as exclusive?"
"Are you asking it now because Charles is gone for good?" she queried.
He shook his head eagerly. "No! God, no! I've been wanting to propose it since China but didn't want to pressure you into anything you don't want."
"I want it," Margot corrected him. "I want you and I want us to be exclusive."
"Okay-" he breathed in relief and smiled even wider when Margot climbed onto his lap.
"You really do make me happy, Bennois," she explained and pressed her chest against his when squeezing herself into a tight embrace.
His arms wrapped around her waist to hold her close.
She felt his heart pound, trapped inside of his quivering ribcage.
He giggled lightly, "You really do make me happy too, Margot."
She rested her forehead against his. For 18 years, she had run after someone who didn't reciprocate her feelings that were rooted somewhere deep inside of her aching heart. Just now, with someone's hands stroking up and down her back, warmth coursing through her body fully unhindered, she realized how much she had missed out on—how many.
"How about we grab dinner and cuddle up on the sofa, hm?" he suggested, his lips just far enough away from hers that she felt his warm breath tingle on hers.
Her eyelids fell close at the proximity. The breaths toppling from her mouth were quickened. "Sounds great."
She pulled her head back and caught his gaze again. A smile crept onto her face. "Can I sleep in your bed again?"
Bennois smirked. "Are you proposing to share the bed with me tonight?" he puffed.
"You make it sound like I am gonna slip under your comforter halfway through," Margot giggled.
Her fingers carefully ran along the back of his neck, nudging a few of the braids every now and then.
"I only have one," he added.
Her smile got wider. "Well, I guess we have to share the blanket too then."
A surprised shriek followed by high-pitched laughs, echoing through the living room, escaped her when Bennois lifted her up only to slam her down onto the sofa. Immediately, his body found a way between her legs, nuzzling his chest against her breasts while sneaking kiss after kiss from her rosy lips.
She chuckled between every peck and picked up the pace of their movements.
His insane talent at always making her forget about everything else around became obvious once again. She hummed into the kisses.
"What?" he grunted breathlessly.
Margot shook her head and slowly shied away from his face. Her fingers trailed up to his cheeks. A sigh rolled off her lips, "I don't want you to feel like a distraction."
"I don't," he assured and frowned when the lines on her face only hardened further.
"Why did we have sex then?" she queried lowly, almost as if the answer could harm her and she needed to hide somewhere safe behind her raised guards—the same ones from before, the same ones that Charles had run into head-first.
"Because we both wanted to?" It was a question. His palm cupped her cheek. "Because I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world and I wanted to make love to you," he said.
She bit her lip.
"I've told you before, Margot. There aren't any strings attached as long as you don't want there to be any, alright?" he reminded her with a gentle smile before he pressed another kiss to her lips. "You don't owe me anything, neither for the bracelet nor for staying her nor for anything else ever. I am an adult, I know what I want, and who I am."
Her eyes were locked on his.
"And I want you," he whispered. "And I will accept the terms and conditions that you're not ready for anything official at the moment. I get that and I want you to feel safe and comfortable around me."
"Thank you," Margot uttered and closed her eyes before pulling him back down to rest his forehead on hers.
"Not for that," Bennois denied.
They cuddled up on the sofa. His steady breathing calmed her down. She felt content and protected, like his arms were a safe haven for her to find the security and especially certainty she had been looking for. A smile adorned her lips when he started to snore after several minutes into their warm embrace. Bennois shuffled closer, buried his nose in her mop of hair and slept peacefully.
For now, she wanted to enjoy the freedom he offered her, the joy she felt around him and the feelings he let her experience.
Bennois was a safe choice.
He was good, gentle, loving, understanding, and he treated her soul and her body with awe, like she was a precious masterpiece that needed to be handled with greatest caution and fluffy gloves.
He was the choice she would make eventually, Margot was certain.
She had to be.
For once.
No more mysteries, no more secrets and broken hearts.
Her fingers traced his jaw. The few stubbles had regrown already but they didn't substract anything from his stunning beauty. The tip of his nose was plump, his lips full and his eyebrows trimmed neatly. He took care of himself. One of his hands was pushed under his cheek. The uncolored polish on his nails let the rosy, healthy bed shine through.
She smiled.
Her heart had made the decision to fall for Charles years ago and even if her head had bailed out already, she still felt the horrible aftermath of her unrequited feelings.
Margot took a deep breath.
Bennois was the right one for her.
She knew it.
It was so obvious.
"I really want to love you," she whispered almost inaudibly while studying his relaxed face.
Every line was almost engraved into her brain.
Margot blew a gentle kiss to his lips before quietly scurrying out of the living room, leaving him to his much needed sleep.