Enid runs back to the bedroom like a whirlwind. She can't hear what people around her are saying, only her heartbeat. She opens the door and can feel herself shaking
ENID
My brother? It all makes sense now! No wonder you didn't want to tell me Wednesday! MY BROTHER?! Which one? Huh? Which one was it?
WEDNESDAY
Will you please calm down... the baby is sleeping. What about your brother Enid? What happened?
Enid takes a deep breathe and walks over to Wednesday, standing in an intimidating stance in front of her
ENID
My parents are here. Wolves receive prophecies from Ravens under the blue moon. My parents were informed that their first grandchild would be born on the grounds of Nevermore before the blue moon fades. And guess who had a baby at Nevermore on the weekend of the blue moon? The prophecies are always true Wednesday. ALWAYS. That baby is a Sinclair! So which of my brothers did you... honestly Wednesday I don't think I can say it without gagging
WEDNESDAY
Enid, I didn't have sex with your brothers
ENID
You're lying! And don't say brothers as a plural like that it's making me picture it as a group thing.
She makes a face of disgust before her eyes widening in utter shock
ENID
Oh My God! Is that why you don't know who it is? WAS this a group thing? I wouldn't put it past them... or did you sleep with them all individually? Why? Why would you do that?
WEDNESDAY
Enid. I didn't. I wouldn't *she cringes* I couldn't
Enid shakes her head in disbelief
ENID
You're still going to lie to my face? Ok Wednesday if that's how you want to play. I'll have to talk to them
WEDNESDAY
Go ahead Enid
Enid goes to leave the room but looks back again
ENID
Why them? You could have had anyone in school. Literally anyone. The girls all want to be you and all guys all want to be in you and you can flip reverse that for all the gays. You literally could have chosen anyone... why did you go for a wolf? Why did you go for a Sinclair?
Wednesday walks towards Enid and reaches past her to close the door but as she does Esther and Murray Sinclair walk into the room followed by Morticia and Gomez. They immediately head over to the baby. Wednesday leads in to Enid so her lips brush against her ear and whispers
WEDNESDAY
I've only ever gone for one wolf and I've only ever wanted one Sinclair to sexually satisfy me and we both know who that is
Enid swallows hard
ESTHER
OH MY! She's definitely a wolf, I can smell it. Can't you smell her Murray? Those Addams genes are strong I see... we haven't had a black furred wolf in our family for generations. The elders are going to swoon! May I hold her Wednesday?
Wednesday turns and walks across the room, leaving Enid with her thoughts.
WEDNESDAY
Be my guest. Although as much as I appreciate your nose Mrs Sinclair, if you're honestly using the claim she's your Granddaughter, I will be requiring an actual DNA test
Esther swoops in to scoop up the baby before turning to Wednesday
ESTHER
That won't be necessary! Come in boys, let's get to the bottom of this!
The 5 Sinclair boys walk in, each one looking embarrassed and uncomfortable
The scene opens with all 5 Sinclair boys sitting along the length of Enid's bed. They all hang their heads. Eather walks up to them and holds out the baby so they can see her
ESTHER
Which one of you is responsible for THIS? Think very carefully boys... and before you decide to lie to me... don't. Now speak!
There's silence. Wednesday looks at Enid and raises her eyebrows
It remains a long silence before one of the boys raises his hand in the air. Wednesdays mouth drops open. So does Enid's
ESTHER
Michael? She's yours?
Gomez slowly pulls a concealed dagger out from his sleeve. Without looking Morticia reaches over and pushes it back in again
MICHAEL
No. She's not. I just have a question, if that's ok?
ESTHER
Go ahead
MICHAEL
I'm not really speaking for myself here as I know I'm not brave enough to... be intimate... with Wednesday. But if one of us were... what would be the ramifications of that. Especially being that Miles is the only one of us under 18. Wednesdays a minor... would we go to jail here or?
MILES
Why the hell did you bring my name up bro? I didn't touch her! She creeps me the hell out
Wednesday makes a tiny smile. She liked Miles. He was terrified of her
MINGAN
Mikes right, me and Maccon are 19 Mom... we like girls our own age
His twin nods along with him
ESTHER
And what about you Murphy? You're being awfully quiet?
MURPHY
I know I can say this because she'll take it as a compliment, but guys don't pro-create with Wednesday Addams, they lose the ability to be able to pro-create with Wednesday Addams
Gomez smiles and gives a nod to Wednesday
WEDNESDAY
Thank you Murphy
MURPHY
It's actually not a compliment. Look, I'm not gonna lie, she's spoken about... you know... locker room talk... look at her. She's hot. But there isn't a single guy I know at Nevermore who isn't terrified of her, not since Xavier died anyway
MICHAEL
Nah the bee dude isn't scared of her
MILES
Bro has killer bees as a weapon
MACCON
Is Xavier the guy she killed last year?
GOMEZ
That was never proven
They all look toward Wednesday
WEDNESDAY
Lack of evidence
ESTHER
We are getting off topic! This little thing right here was prophesied to us, to be sired by our blood line and to be first heir in our 693rd generation so WHICH ONE OF YOU SIRED THIS CHILD?
You could hear a pin drop. No one spoke. None of the boys moved, they didn't want to breathe.
MORTICIA
I have to ask Esther, as a seer myself, it's unusual to prophecise an heir. Was it under the premonition of potential
ESTHER
Of the highest kind. Wolves don't tend to breed outside of our species let alone with a Raven.
She looks at Wednesday
ESTHER
Every wolf pack is shadowed by an unkindness. Quite the paradox! They watch us and we watch them. Our unkindness are aware of you Wednesday, your name alone has power within the community. They are very excited about this child. They predict extraordinary things. Other worldly things. Gateways accross dimensions and time... a wolf has never mated with a raven. They say her power will be unparalleled
They all stare at this tiny creature of no more than 6lb, she didn't seem like much at all. She hadn't even opened her eyes yet
MINGAN
Is it weird that I want her to be mine? You kinda sold it Mom.
ESTHER
Evidently not enough for one of you to be honest. Murray... swab them.
Murray walks down the line of boys swabbing their cheeks and enclosing them into vials. Lastly he does the same to the little one.
ESTHER
Soon we will know not only who has been fornicationg on school property but who had the audacity to lie to my face
They all sit and wait in the room, it's quiet. Wednesday feeds the baby, the boys all trying to divert their eyes away from her boob. Morticia sits next to Wednesday
MORTICIA
How are you doing my darling? I know you're adamant you weren't physical with any of these boys but you know how specific a raven premonition is
WEDNESDAY
I don't doubt the prophecy, I don't doubt that my daughter is destined to be great. I don't even doubt that these tests will come back and somehow one of those glorified dogs will be able to revel in the glory of being her father. But Mother, you have to believe me... I didn't lay with any of them. I would never... I couldn't... the truth is Mother, I'm a le-
The door swings open and Miss Álvarez, the technician from the science department, walks in with some sheets of paper
MISS ÁLVAREZ
Ok sorry for the delay, we have some results for you. Lemme just speed through it real quick. We did a paternity test for all 5 boys, the results are as follows: Miles Sinclair chance of Paternity 0%, Maccon Sinclair 0%, Mingan Sinclair 0%, Murphy Sinclair 0% and lastly Michael Sinclair, also 0%. None of them are the father
ESTHER
That can't be right! Test again!
MISS ÁLVAREZ
I can assure you the test is accurate Mrs Sinclair. We were curious and also tested their DNA on the avuncular index. Less than 1% means a non relative. All the boys scored a 25%. That means whilst they are definitely not her father, they are definitely closely related. Are there any more male relatives you'd like to test?
All eyes look at Murray Sinclair. Wednesdays eyes widen so much she loses her eyebrows under her bangs. Enid gags.
ESTHER
No. Thank you. There's no one else
The teacher turns to walk out of the room
WEDNESDAY
Wait! Can you test Enid?
The room goes quiet and stares at Wednesday
WEDNESDAY
Don't ask me how or why... I don't know, but just somehow...
I think she could be Enid's