this isn't for you,
by the way.
i'm not apologizing to you.
i already did that,
and frankly,
i don't need to.
i apologized,
and you still left,
so,
do you even deserve my apologies?
i'm apologizing to them.
i know i already have,
and i know they said it's fine,
and i know i don't have to apologize,
but,
i'm going to.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry i didn't notice you liked me for all that time.
i'm sorry i said that stupid thing.
i'm sorry we barely got to see each other.
i'm sorry they bullied you.
i'm sorry they bullied you because of me.
i'm sorry i didn't notice.
i'm sorry i didn't notice they bullied you and you had barely any friends and i didn't notice and i just assumed everything was alright when it really wasn't.
i'm sorry you felt that way,
felt like you had to leave,
and i'm sorry they made you leave the way you did.
i'm sorry i thought that.
i'm sorry i said that.
i'm sorry you missed me and wanted me back and i immediately made you change your mind because of that stupid thing i said and i kept bothering you almost daily after and you said i didn't need to apologize but i still did and i made you feel horrible probably.
and i'm sorry i lied,
that the reason we stopped talking,
was because i didn't know what to say.
which,
that might have been somewhat correct,
but it's because,
i figured,
you were better off without me.
because you are,
probably,
better off.
it's fine.
you know i'm sorry.
i guess that's all that matters.
i'm also
apologizing to her.
you already know i'm sorry,
and i've already said sorry,
and i know i don't have to,
but i'm going to.
i'm sorry,
about everything that happened with him,
and the pain he caused you,
i'm sorry i didn't meet you earlier,
we,
didn't meet you earlier.
i'm sorry,
that i don't even have much from when we first met,
to be sorry about,
and that i'm trying to make a poem,
about how sorry i am,
for the things i shouldn't be sorry about.
i'm sorry we got closer,
and closer,
and i told you what i told you,
and you said no to what i told you,
but you slowly fell for me after i said that,
but really,
you were falling for them.
i'm sorry,
that i even told you in the first place.
i shouldn't have told you.
i'm sorry i got mad that you went away for a week without me and i felt selfish they were with you because i knew they wanted you and i wanted you and i knew it would never work out but i was still selfish and clingy and i didn't want to give up the one thing i knew i had maybe a chance at and i started not caring what they felt and i'm sorry i made you feel like you were a prize to be won that's fucking awful that's not what i meant and i'm just . . .
i'm
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry overall i'm not an asshole.
i hope i'm not,
at least.
but,
i'm sorry overall i'm not an asshole,
which i'm sorry i'm a not asshole you'll probably never see again.
i mean,
you'll still be here,
of course.
but not here.
i hope,
the not asshole they are,
will live up to the dreams and hopes,
you've always fantasized about.
i'm also
apologizing,
to them.
i think,
they know i'm sorry.
and i've,
already said sorry,
and these cracks i make,
don't lead to demolition anyway,
but
i'm
still going to.
i'm sorry,
that i didn't say anything,
when you made fun of me.
i'm sorry i didn't say it wasn't okay.
and i'm sorry,
that you thought it was okay but it wasn't and i felt bad so i just decided to ignore you.
and then,
you apologized?
well,
thanks for that.
i'm sorry i wasn't listening to you that night and i just sat there on the wall and ignored everyone.
i'm sorry i never really talked to you for a while after that,
and we're only really friends again because i happened to come to your table that one day.
i'm sorry i forgot your name,
and had to hear someone else say it so i wouldn't embarrassed myself in front of you.
i'm not sorry,
that i didn't save that seat for you.
i'm sorry i felt selfish,
when you two went on that boat ride without me.
i'm sorry i felt selfish that day,
and that night,
when i wanted to be alone with her,
that bus ride to and from.
i'm sorry i didn't know how to help when you told me you liked her.
i'm sorry i told you i liked her.
i'm sorry i was hesitant to tell you she liked you back.
i'm sorry how horrible it must have felt when you heard the news.
the news i thought you would be happy about,
for some reason.
i'm sorry i was that inconsiderate about how you felt,
and i kept just singing my songs with her,
and ignoring what you sang.
i'm sorry i sat with her.
as wonderful as that ride home was,
i'm sorry i didn't just let you sit with her.
i'm sorry i hate your flowers,
i'm sorry i can't just be happy for you,
happy for,
whatever you two will end up being.
i'm sorry that i might not ever be okay,
and that i might always be selfish about this.
i'm sorry i still think about this.
but i'm glad
i got hugs.
maybe,
one day,
i'll be okay.