"Is there anything else you want me to take upstairs?" The cop stretched and hung onto the doorframe of Rob and Abi's kitchen, watching her wife clean down the counters.
"There is actually. I thought you could take this and Rob and go and sit with Xena." She handed the cop a bottle of whiskey. "While we discuss all the gross stuff."
"It's a baby shower, what gross stuff? It's meant to be all cake and nappy challenges no? Babe where did you get this? This is a £400 bottle of Macallan?"
"Don't whinge about money."
"I'm not whinging, this is quality stuff!"
"I know, I heard you and Rob talking about it the other day. You never treat yourself so I did and before you ask, I didn't use the joint account."
"You should've. You've got cards to all the accounts. It all goes in one pot babe."
"I know but you've always looked after me and now I'm working, you won't let me help with the bills and stuff... I just want to buy you gifts every once in a while."
"Why do I have to share it with Rob then?" She chuckled, wrapping her arms around the younger woman's waist.
"Because this will keep you out of my hair. With all the people from the dentists and Abi & Robs family and the fact that we're holding a baby shower in a bedroom is more than enough to deal with. Also, this way I don't have to worry about that woman draping herself all over you!"
"Her name is Angel and it was just a hello hug."
"Well I'm telling you now there won't be a goodbye hug. The nerve of the woman. She's casually mentioned threesomes twice already!"
"She has?"
"Twice Thea, completely outside of normal conversation. Why do you look like that?"
"Like what?" She let go of her wife and moved closer to the door, subconsciously looking for an exit.
"Pained. You look pained."
"She might be mentioning it because she might know it's something I've done before."
"How would she know that? What? You've had a threesome? How could you not tell me about this?"
"Technically I have babe, I told you I slept with her twice. Once years ago and then once after Amy... I just maybe left out that the second time had someone else present."
"Who?"
"I don't even remember her name. It's one of Angel's friends anyway."
"Why haven't you told me this before?"
"Probably the same reason you don't like talking about Elena. I was a bit of a whore when Amy died, you knew that part already."
"What was it like?"
"Wet. Lots of legs. I was off my tits a lot of that time, I don't really remember it."
"Do you want to have another one?"
"With you? No!"
"Excuse me?"
"That came out wrong."
"Your damn right it did!"
"I just meant I'd get no enjoyment from it. No, no, don't look like that. Listen, I love you. I don't know if you've noticed but I'm quite possessive about the things I love. I don't want to see anyone touching you or you making someone else feel good, it literally hurts my heart thinking about it. I did it then because I didn't love Angel, I just wanted to get drunk and fuck so I wasn't just sat at home thinking about Amy."
"What if I want one?"
"Really? Erm... well, I suppose your young to be married and if it was something you really wanted to do... like bucket list really wanted to do then..."
"Breathe beautiful. I'm messing with you. It's hard enough keeping you satisfied let alone anyone else and just so you know, I don't want anyone else's hands on me either and I certainly don't want anyone touching you!"
"Oh thank god!" Thea opened the bottle of whiskey and took a long slurp making her wife giggle.
"Your cute when your flustered."
"Have you got a drink babe?"
"Yeah upstairs. Enjoy that bottle gorgeous, we'll walk home tonight or get an Uber, you always stay sober to drive."
"You trying to get me drunk?"
"Oh yes detective! Get you drunk and have my way with you."
"Sounds amazing but we can't get too drunk. Long journey tomorrow."
"Are you going to tell me more about this trip or do I just have to wait and see?"
"It's very similar to your last surprise just no interrogation hopefully."
"Are you serious?" Her eyes lit up and she held Thea's face, her excitement could be felt in her fingertips.
"You'll have to wait and see." She kissed her on the cheek and went to leave the room. "Come get us once your done with all the gross stuff. I want to put my tongue down your throat while Angels watching. Fucking threesomes!"
"I know right?! Can we just agree to hate her from now on."
"Whatever you say babe."
———————————————————————
"Thank god they're all gone. It was amazing Carla, what you did was great but I get so tired with lots of interaction now." Abi said, sitting up in bed. "The food was amazing, your making me gain weight."
"Your pregnant." Carla fussed around her and sorted her pillows. "If you can't gain weight now, when can you?"
"I'm surprised Thea hasn't piled it on now your married."
"I hate that about her." She laughed. "She could literally eat ice cream and doughnuts for every meal and still have rock hard abs."
"She is tall."
"Yeah, when we have a baby, I hope she's tall like Thea not short like me."
"You are perfectly proportioned. Have you spoken to her about it yet? I know you've been thinking about it when you asked that uni advisor what would happen if you got pregnant."
"Yeah she bought it up and she's excited actually. I think she'd happily have one now and it's so tempting to just do it. But there's uni and we've been getting on great, it's nice just the two of us for now."
"Wow. Amy used to say when they spoke about kids, all Thea would do is grunt at her."
"She said she could never picture it before but she's older now."
"I don't think it's got anything to do with age my love, she's different with you."
"In a good way?" The younger woman asked her friend.
"Definitely. I've never seen her this settled."
Carla blushed and continued to collect the rubbish from around the bedroom.
"My brother thinks I'm different too."
"It's hard for me to agree, I've only ever known you with Thea."
"He said I'm more grown up and posh and shit."
The dentist laughed and grabbed the younger woman's arm, making her sit down on the bed for a while.
"Enough. Rob can do the rest. I need to talk to you."
"I know, I'm sorry and I know she's Rob's sister but I don't like her at all. The way she is with Thea and did you hear her talking about threesomes earlier? Erughh!"
"No." The dentist laughed louder than she had done all day. "I mean, yes I heard her but that's not what I want to talk to you about. The other night when we rang the ambulance and Rob..."
"What did he do?"
"Nothing, he didn't do anything but for a brief moment, I saw him. Really saw him and it took me back to the first few days after Amy died." The dentist eyes welled up as she spoke. "He looked just like Thea did, completely lost and it made me think about how he'd cope if anything happened to me-"
"That's not going to happen, don't think like that, don't even put it out into the universe!" The younger woman went to stand, she didn't want to continue this conversation but Abi pulled her back down onto the bed.
"If it does, he won't manage. He'll go into self destruct just like she did. I watched it, it was heartbreaking and all consuming for her and if that happens to him, he won't be able to look after a baby on top of that. He just won't be able to Carla and you... you are just the sweetest, most caring person I know. You have become my closest friend ever in such a short time and I need to know you and Thea will be there for my baby if I'm not around and Rob can't cope."
"We'd support him, we'd make sure he'd cope." She told her sincerely and took her hand.
"Carla, Thea took down everything, everything that reminded her of Amy. She was trying to get rid of the pain I suppose but it was a year before she could even look at a picture of her."
"I know but she had to identify Amy's body, I just figured it was because of that and Robs not Thea."
"That doesn't explain all the furniture, all her clothes, everything that she'd pretty much ever touched. I know Robs not Thea but they're so similar in some ways. What if this baby looks like me? What if he just can't look at her for years or worse makes a snap decision to have her adopted or fostered or whatever? If he can't do it or won't do it, I need to know if you'll step in. I can't have my baby going to bloody Angel and becoming a fashion accessory!"
"I would never let that woman take your child!" Carla said in a jokey manner but meant every word.
"I know it's a lot to ask, I know that but if anything does happen, I want you to remember that you and Thea are my first pick."
"That's really sweet Abs. It's never going to happen but if it did, I'd make sure that baby would be raised like my own."
"I know you would."
They cuddled and had a little cry before Rob walked in.
"Everything ok?" He asked, tiptoeing into the room.
"Fine, Carla's done a lot of work and we're both exhausted so we're just getting it all out."
"Ok. Women are weird."
"And for that you can take all this rubbish downstairs, Carla's done enough. Where's Thea?" She asked while wondering how much he'd had to drink. His eyes were a bit glazed over and he was struggling to pick up the bin bag.
"Saying goodbye to Angel."
"She's what?" Carla said angrily, standing and racing into the corridor when her wife came out of the toilet.
"Who's in there?"
"No one." The cop replied bemused. Carla stuck her head in the bathroom door and then ran back to the bedroom.
"Your such a prick Rob." She shrieked loudly.
He giggled until his wife threw a pillow at him.
"What did you do?" Thea asked, leaning on the door frame.
"He's winding me up!"
"Don't wind her up Rob."
"Really babe? That's it?"
"Sorry, I'm a bit pissed."
"You look absolutely fine." Carla laughed, staring at her wife for a sign of her drunkenness.
"You look more than fine right now." The cop sat in one of the chairs that were scattered around the bedroom and pulled her wife onto her lap. Her arms wrapped round the younger woman's waist and she started kissing her neck.
"Behave." Carla warned.
"That's how you can tell she's had a drink." Abi confirmed. "She gets handsy and flirty, hence all the one night stands after Amy. She'd have been able to keep it in her pants more if she hadn't been pissed all the time."
"She is here actually and I don't remember it exactly like that." Thea said honestly.
"I'm surprised you can remember it all!" Abi laughed. "You were such a handful then."
"Were you pissed when you had this threesome?" Carla asked innocently but Thea's eyes widened like she'd just spilt a massive secret.
"Threesome?" Rob asked, sitting up in his chair, suddenly interested in the conversation. "You never told me about that!"
"That's because dear husband of mine, I imagine your sister was one third of this party. Am I right?" Abi looked very smug and couldn't remember the last time she'd enjoyed bedrest this much.
"Oh Thea! For fuck sake!" He whinged. "Who was the other? No way, it was that fucking friend of hers, y'know the fit one with the lips and the chin dimple."
"Jen!" The dentist said helpfully while Thea sunk lower and lower in her chair.
"The fit one?" Carla looked up at her with a pretend annoyance.
"Not as fit as you. Your a 10 babe, a complete ten! She's like a..."
"9 1/2 at least! I can't believe you got Jen into bed, so unfair!"
"Rob! I'm literally right here and pregnant with your child!"
"Yeah we should drop this conversation right now. You gonna take me home babe?" Thea rested her head on her wife's shoulder wearily.
"Come on, my little drunken hoe, let's get you home." Carla said laughing, helping her wife to stand.
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