Mom and Dad, Junie and Rosie are here! Mom looks amazing! Her belly is so big! Our brother is due in a couple of months. A brother! The little Prince is going to be so spoiled!
I woke up Saturday morning and smiled to myself. Curled up beside me was Rosie, who'd come into my room around midnight saying she wanted to sleep with me. Who am I to say no?
"Rosie Posey," I said, rubbing her arm to gently wake her up. "Wakey wakey! We're gonna have a lot of fun today but we have a long drive and we have to get moving!"
"Mmmmm," Rosie rolled over onto her back, so I tickled her tummy, which was just sticking out from her pyjamas, the shirt having bunched up a little.
"Noooo," Rosie whined sleepily. I tickled more and she started to giggle. "Sammmmmy. Noooooo."
She opened her eyes and I smiled at her.
"Hi Sammy!" She said in a more wakeful tone.
"Good morning, Rosie Posey," I said. "Time to wake up!"
"Okay," she said. "I hafta pee."
"Good thing I have a bathroom in my room," I smiled, grabbing my crutches and walking her to the bathroom. She did her thing, I did mine, we washed our hands and brushed our teeth. I quickly ran a brush through my hair, and told Rosie I'd do braids for her if she wanted. She seemed excited by the prospect and so we went back to my room and I sat on my bed while she leaned against me. I brushed her hair gently. It was so long!
"Rosie! Your hair is longer than Rapunzel's!" I joked.
"No it isn't. Rapunzel's hair goes longer than her bum. Mine isn't that long yet!" She giggled. I smiled at her.
"Well, I think it could be almost as long!" I said, laughing.
I separated the strands of hair and started twisting it into two braids on either side of her head. Rosie talked about her friends and play groups. She told me about Mom telling them about the baby.
"Are you excited for the new baby?" I asked her.
"Are you?" She asked.
"I am! A brother!" I said. She nodded enthusiastically.
It made me think back to when Mom and Dad told me - and everyone in the venue where Dad had been performing - about Mom being pregnant with Rosie. I'd still been unsure about where I fit in, whether I'd really be staying. Stanley still held sway over me then. And he was dead. I remember running off the stage and onto the bus. My first thought was to run through the gates, but I didn't know Buffalo well enough to have found anywhere I'd have felt safe. So I'd run to the bus, jumped into my bunk and closed the curtain. I'd tried to hold the curtain closed when Mom and Dad had come to talk with me, but forgot it opened both ways.
However, we talked and Mom and Dad assured me that I wasn't going anywhere. That they were adding to our family. Not replacing me. It took a little while for me to feel confident that they really weren't getting rid of me, but I came around.
And then Dad had told everyone again when Mom was pregnant with Junie. We were at an awards show that time, I think.
With this baby, Dad and Mom had told everyone after Christmas. While I was still in the hospital. We'd taken a family photo where Dad had posted about me getting better (I was awake by then, and starting to get more mobile). He captioned it "Nothing like your daughter waking up from a coma on Christmas! Merry Christmas from the 6 of us!"
His fans went wild. Lots of comments came on his post saying they thought they noticed Mom was pregnant at Thanksgiving, but they were busy sitting at my bedside so people hadn't wanted to say anything because no one knew what was going to be my outcome. Dad's fans have been amazing about my accident. Or anything that's happened to me. They're always so sweet. I get comments on his and my own social media. But I have to be careful about who I accept as friends though. And that's kind of weird.
Once I was done Rosie's hair I took her into the bathroom to take a look.
"Thank you Sammy! I love it!"
She bounced out of my room and across the hall to Mom and Dad's.
"Mama! Sammy braided my hair!" She shouted, possibly waking them up, but we were going to Disneyland today, so we needed to get up early, anyway.
"Sammy did a great job!" I heard Mom say. I smiled.
"I like you hair, Rosie!" I heard Junie exclaim. I smiled again as I put on my leg and started to get dressed.
There was a knock at my door a few minutes later. I was already dressed, so I wasn't worried and told whoever it was to come in. It was Dad.
"Good morning," he smiled at me. "You're dressed?"
"No. I've taken to wearing jeans and hoodies to bed these days. And my leg. So much faster in the morning," I grinned at him. He smiled back and called me a brat.
"I have a feeling you're going to be on hair duty for the week. Provided your sister is awake when you leave for school in the morning," he laughed. I smiled.
"It's my pleasure," I said. "But my rates have increased."
Dad smiled.
"Extra hugs?" He snickered.
"Exactly," I grinned.
"Let's go, you goof," he smiled. "Let's get you something to eat before we leave. We'll grab something on the road, but let's get you a quick bite to keep your sugar up."
I followed Dad downstairs and into the kitchen where I grabbed some fruit from the fridge and, checking my app, adjusting my insulin dose and bolusing, I ate a handful of grapes and a couple of strawberries. I'd already packed a backpack for the day and my wheelchair was at the front door. It just made Disney that much easier.
Once everyone was up and moving, we piled into the car. Zack was coming and he had a bigger car, so we were able to go in one car this time. Uncle Brendon sat in the front seat and I sat in the third row with Dad. Mom and the littles were in the middle row.
Dad and I talked basketball, school, friends. I felt like he wanted to ask about Dylan, but he was also avoiding the subject. I decided to let him stew a little. It was kind of funny. Besides, Dylan was coming over tomorrow for lunch and a swim if he wanted to (swim. The lunch was kind of... not negotiable)
We stopped at McDonald's and I got a breakfast sandwich and a coffee. Once we had our food, we were off and down the freeway. I fell asleep along the way and woke up when Dad started tapping the top of my head. It was unpleasant. I grumbled as I opened my eyes.
"Hi there," Dad smiled at me. I frowned at him and rubbed the top of my head where he'd been tapping.
"Rosie," I said, leaning forward and rubbing her arm. "Junie, wake up. Look where we are!"
Both little girls slowly stretched and groaned at being woken up. Rosie looked around and her eyes lit up. Junie looked around a little confused.
"Disneyland!" Rosie cheered.
"Didneyland!" Junie clapped. She wasn't quite sure what was going on. I mean, she's only two. She doesn't know what Disneyland is.
I helped Mom get my sisters out of the car and into the stroller while Dad got my wheelchair set up. I put my backpack on my chair and mom put their stuff under the stroller.
"Hey kiddo!" Zack said, greeting me finally. He'd been busy helping get everyone organized, so he'd only said a cursory hello at the house. Now he gave me a hug and a smile.
I got myself organized in my chair and rolled on. While I hadn't been able to get onto an accessible team here, having my chair had still been an amazing idea. I had used it a few times when I went back to school after the accident. It not only helped me rebuild my arm muscles, but it helped when my body was too tired or sore to use my crutches and I still didn't have the stamina to be up on my crutches all day at school.
Once we were all set up at the gate, we had our staff escort and my disability fast pass on top of having fast passes for all of us, we went into the park.
It was an amazing day. Mom and Dad sent me off with Zack and Uncle Brendon for a little while so we could go on the bigger rides and we met back up for lunch. Rosie and Junie insisted on sitting beside me at the restaurant, and told me all about all the rides they'd gone on and meeting Mickey and Elsa and Anna. In the afternoon, after lunch anyway, I spent the rest of the day with Mom and Dad and Rosie and Junie, going on the smaller rides. Watching my sisters have fun, and watching Junie explore Disneyland for the first time was amazingly fun.
At some point, Junie fell asleep in the stroller so we stopped and I had a snack and chatted with Mom and Dad a little.
At the end of the day, after we'd eaten dinner and watched the fireworks, we piled back into the car, sweaty, sleepy and smiling. I fell asleep on the way home.
Sunday morning I got up around nine, took a shower and got dressed. I went downstairs where I found Mom and Dad already up with Junie and Rosie having breakfast.
"Good morning!" Dad said as I came into the kitchen.
"Morning," I said, pouring myself a cup of coffee.
"Are you hungry?" Mom asked. "I made eggs."
"Cheesy eggs?" I asked, hopefully.
"Cheesy scrambled," Dad said, grinning.
I grabbed a plate and took some eggs and bacon that were on plates on the counter, picked up my coffee and sat down at the dining room table.
"Uncle Brendon or Aunt Sarah up yet?" I asked, digging into my breakfast after bolusing my insulin.
"Uncle Brendon went out to his studio about five minutes ago. He'll be back in a few, I guess," Dad said. "Sarah is still in bed."
I nodded and ate my breakfast, smiling as my sisters chattered away.
Once we were done eating I helped Mom clean Junie and Rosie up, do some dishes and went upstairs to finish a little homework I had leftover. Rosie came and sat in my room while I did my homework. Junie came in a couple of minutes later and was talking to Rosie. The two of them were playing on my bedroom floor, and for the time being were being quiet. They started bickering over a toy and Mom poked her head in and told them to either cut it out or get out of my room if they were distracting me. I didn't say anything because honestly, it was fine. What homework I had to do was pretty easy and I was almost done anyway, but I didn't want them to think they could always come in and distract me. And I didn't want Mom to know I kind of welcomed the distraction because I missed them. It was my choices obviously, to come to California, and I have no regrets about my choice. But I didn't realize how much I was going to miss listening to Rosie and Junie's squabbles over toys and crayons and chalk.
"I have an idea," I said, as I realized I wasn't actually going to get much done with the two of them getting steadily louder even though they were done squabbling. "Let's get into our bathing suits and go outside. I think Uncle Brendon has some chalk and we can draw on the patio."
Both of their eyes lit up and they scampered off to the room they were technically sharing with Mom and Dad to change. I smiled, got up and put my own swimsuit on. I grabbed my crutches, but was going to keep my leg on for now. I pulled on a pair of flannel shorts and a t-shirt and went to help Rosie and Junie change.
Once we were all in our swimming gear, we went downstairs.
"Go ask Uncle Brendon where the chalk is," I said. The two of them scampered off to find him and ask. Mom and Dad were sitting in the living room talking.
"You're not taking them swimming by yourself, are you?" Mom asked.
"No," I said. "We're going to draw on the concrete. But I could handle them myself, you know."
I crossed my arms over my chest, and looked at Mom with a raised eyebrow.
"I have no doubt you could. But the three of you by yourselves, well, I'd feel better if you weren't in the water alone with the two. It's not you, Sam. It's me. I'm being a protective Mama Bear," Mom said. I went over, sat down beside her and wrapped her in a hug.
"And I appreciate my protective Mama Bear," I smiled at her.
"Hey! What about me?" Dad asked.
"You're a terrible Mama Bear," I grinned at him. Mom and I burst into laughter.
"Oh ha ha. You know what I meant," he pretended to sulk. I threw my arms around him and looked at him with puppy dog eyes.
"Thank you for being my protective Papa Bear," I smiled.
"I'm going to pretend that was sincere and not partly sarcastic, and accept that. You're welcome," Dad said.
"In all honesty, though, Dad, thanks. I mean, before you I didn't have a dad who cared so much for me. So, really, thank you," I said, not breaking the hug.
His arms tightened around me and he hugged me back.
"It's been my greatest honour being your dad, Sam," Dad said to me. "I obviously love your sisters and your soon to be brother. I love you all differently because you're all different people. But making you our daughter was one of the best things your mom and I ever did. You made us a family. I know I've said that a hundred times, but it's true. And I know your mom feels the same way."
I leaned on Dad and looked at Mom.
"I think my birth mom would be happy to see where I wound up after she died. I think she'd approve. I got everything she couldn't give to me. Freedom, trust, guidance - though she did her best there. And most importantly, love. It sounds cheesy, I know, but it's true. Maybe Stanley loved me a teeny tiny bit somewhere deep, deep inside. I mean, enough that he left me everything. But he definitely didn't love me, or even like me, enough to be a parent."
Dad's arms tightened around me and he kissed the top of my head. Mom took my hand, tears in her eyes.
"Like we've said a ton of times, and will never stop saying, feeling or believing, something spoke to us the night you showed up in our back yard. I sometimes wonder, what would have happened if Dad saw you in the yard and just called the police to come deal with you? What if you had passed out and we hadn't called 911? What if you hadn't set off the motion lights? I mean, sure, we wouldn't have known your history or what happened. But because we did get involved, and we know what you could have gone back to, well, I just don't like thinking about the very different life you would have led."
"Not to sound like I'm trying to put a damper on this, but I don't think I'd still be alive if none of what happened - happened."
"I hate thinking that. I hate thinking that because I'm afraid you're not wrong," Mom said, pulling me off Dad and into a hug.
"You're a very special young lady, Samantha Joseph," she said into my hair. "Your life hasn't been easy, but you're just. I don't know. You're so smart, compassionate, funny. You could have approached the world so much differently. And knowing what you'd been through, no one would blame you,"
"But why be mad at the world? It's not the world's fault Stanley was a di...ddyhead," I said, changing mid-word as Rosie and Junie came running back in with the chalk.
Mom saw why I'd changed words midstream and laughed. Dad smiled as the two littles came in.
"Sammy! Let's draw!" Rosie cheered. "Mama? Why are you crying?"
I looked up at Mom and saw tears in her eyes. She smiled at me.
"Because I love your big sister so much that it makes my eyes leak," Mom said to Rosie. I smiled at her and looked at Dad. He winked at me. I smiled back.
How lucky have I been? Really? Yeah, I've nearly died - a lot. I've been in two really serious accidents that could have - probably should have - killed me. I've had issues with my diabetes. I've had seizures that stopped my heart. I've been shot at. Twice.
But I'm here to tell my story. And I have a family. A real family. With parents who really do love me. And siblings I would die for. Uh - figuratively speaking.
I followed my sisters outside where Uncle Brendon had pulled out some chalk.
"Hey there, Sam! Good morning!" He smiled at me. I smiled back.
"Good morning," I said.
We sat outside and drew on the concrete for a a while. Around eleven, I heard the doorbell ring and Penny and Bogey went tearing to the front door.
Dylan was here.