The days after their deaths were hard. Not mentally hard, but physically. I was juggling too many things at once. Cooking food, studying, the job I got at a local grocery store. Monthly expenses. I was truly an adult by then.
On top of that, Yudhishthir was being overly apologetic.
He would be apologising for the smallest of things.
It all came to a very calm conclusion the day Ashwatthama returned.
" Hey little girl. " He said.
" Hello. What do you want? "
" I'm here to explain what we left you last time. "
" Right. You'd want to do that won't you. "
" Exactly. Now you get my point. Come on. " He said, lugging me back to my room.
" Didi? Why's he here? " Mini asked surprised.
" We have some work Mini. Go study. I'll make you paranthe in a while. "
" Okay... Hello Mister. No funny business with my sister. " She said, running away as I stood shook.
" MINI! " Ishouted as she ran away laughing.
" I am not the one wanting to do funny stuff littlest kid. " Ashwatthama mumbled next to me.
" Did you say something? " I asked glaring daggers at him.
" No. Come. "
As we sat in the room, I was informed of their plan.
" A few days ago,Krishn had come to meet me at the ashram. No one knew. He told me that I must go into the future as there was need of establishing dharm yet again. However, he himself couldn't go as he was yet to actually come to Kalyug. So he sent me. Me meeting you wasn't an accident, but we didn't plan on me having one when I met you. It was quite hilarious to see you fretting over the fact that I was someone from the past. But my actions were never actually dishonest, nor were my words. I genuinely did not know anything. I touched the box and landed here. Thereafter you took me in. The time I saw AJ's face was true. I did not know that someone who looked like me was already here, so I thought he must have been a spy, or an evil person. All the times when I talked to Krishn alone, was never truly alone. He was there too. " Yudhishthir rattled off, clear yet a nervousness to his voice that was evident.
" Then why didn't you tell me? " I asked sceptical. It made sense, but why.
" I wanted to -"
" Krishn told him not to little kid." Ashwatthama added.
" He did? Why? "
" That only he knows. After all, who knows the leeladhar's plans but him. We were told that you had to be trained."
" Trained? Trained to be what? "
" A rajkumaari. " Yudhishthir whispered, fearing the next few words that he might have to say.
" I can't be a princess! I can't see me in a crown. "
" That's why Yudhishthir and I are here kid. We need to do this. "
" What about Mini. Is she included in his grand scheme of plans? Or is my sister collateral damage? Huh! " I angrily asked as the two looked down in shame.
" So it's true. You didn't think this through did you ? "
" We didn't kno-"
" When you make plans you have to know everything! " I shouted and Mini asked.
" Everything okay didi? He troubling you? " Damn. I forgot she was home too.
" Yeah. I'm good Mini. Don't worry. "
" Devi Sagarika. You must be strong. Any answers you want will be given by Krishn-"
" That's the whole point. He won't give me any answers. He takes away everyone I have loved to leave me with my darling sister and you two who agreed to his shenanigans without asking him why, how or what. "
" But little kid -"
" No. You may leave Ashwatthama. I need to talk to him alone. "
He sighed and left the house, quiet and undeterred. He was just waiting for the right signal.
^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•^•
I couldn't deal with their shit anymore. So I asked Yudhishthir to spill.
" I am not lying. I was sent here to do what he asked me to and then 'train' you to adapt to my times. Why and for what reason I cannot tell. "
" You cannot tell because you don't know or because you don't want to? " I asked, sitting by him. He needs to know he can tell me.
" I - I don't want to, for fear of your rejection. "
" What do you mean rejection, it's not as if you're proposing marriage to me are you? " I asked, looking at him with a smile, but I saw how dead serious he looked.
" No. No. No. No. No. " He had to be kidding. I tried to stand up, but my hand was grabbed in a desperate attempt to hold me back.
" It's not a lie. I have come to love you over this period of five months we have spent together. I hope you understand, I didn't come here with this intention. It just happened. I am not asking you to marry me, not when I don't know how you might feel, but I am telling you. I love you. "
He said, looking into my eyes as if I was one of the most beautiful women in the world. I felt it. I felt it in the painting he made, in the way he smelled the perfume off of my hand, the way he would hold my head at night so I could sleep, the way he would smile in my happiness and comfort me in my pain. I could feel his love, but I was too shocked to be able to say anything.
" I find these times unusual. People say, 'oh I like him or her'. What do you mean like? If you just like someone, it's generally infatuation for what they did for you or someone else. You love the person, no matter how they are, weird, funny, beautiful, kind, wise. You love their treatment of others, their kindness, humility and all those. You can only love a person, everything else is a maya. And I love you. " He whispered in the end, still holding my hand, rubbing his thumbs over my knuckles.
I was still processing his words. It took me a grand total of five minutes to answer.
" I don't know what to say. You love me. I don't know how to feel about that. I have always wanted to be your friend before anything. But. If you insist, give me a chance to love you back. If I can, I promise I won't ever step back. When I love I do it fully, truly and very vulnerably. I bare my soul out to you. I hope you give me a chance to love you too." I said. I may not want to marry him just now, but love, it's a choice.
It may be a feeling, but you have to choose to act or not. He chose to act on his feelings. I am going to attempt to choose to act on mine. To give him a fair chance. He was my home for the past few months. I need to try. If not for him but for me.
I may not want to be a princess or agree with their plans and schemes, but one cannot deny what the heart demands. This time, it demanded a hug. One you would get from someone who loves you.
So I stood up, bringing him up with me and hugging him, holding him close as his hands circled, one on my head and one on my back, holding me close to him.
It felt like home.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
The cat's out of the bag.... Well more or less.
He confessed everyone. Now one would assume it's too fast, but it's love. When you know, you know.
I may not know much about love but I do know that to a big extent it is a choice. She's made hers.
I hope you all enjoyed. Share this book with those who you think might like it.
Share your opinions in the comments everyone. Vot for the chapter too on your way out.
Much love
Radhekrishn ❤