Tanoi Cunningham
Marabelle Estate||Kingston||Wednesday||7:00 A.M
One thing, no matter how early the morning be people ago call me phone.
Why Ruel Cunningham decide fi call mi so early just fi ask stupid questions.
I finally got a chance to get my sleep schedule on track, and here he was asking me foolishness.
"Tanoi, mi tell yuh already doh make it happen again" said my overstimulated father.
It was 12:00 P.M there now, in the afternoon!!.
Bruhhhhhh!.
Come on.
"Mi naah do nutn" I answer, I was frustrated.
He called me because someone told him I was with Imani last night.
I was in my bed.
Fast asleep and ignoring the world.
I swear, someone really doesn't like to see me at peace.
"Everyday yuh come to me a remind me fi stay far from Imani, and then you a the same one a call me and ask me fi help him", I groan loudly, "make up yuh mind wah yuh want me fi do".
"Mi waah yuh listen when mi talk Tanoi, mi not even get fi touch pon the fact seh when dem man did come fi yuh a Richmond yuh deh wid Chinna, the fuck yaah do a Richmond wid him?!"
Yes now, mi did a wait fi him touch that.
"Nutn weh yuh think so yuh can get it outta yuh head"
I hear my uncle in the background telling my father to chill, but he was having none of it.
"All me a say is stop go round Chinna unless a me or English authorize it", him kiss him teeth and mi know fi sure him fed up, "not even English neither because a him make yuh deh round him everyday, dat bwoii doh listen eno man".
I rolled my eyes, "what's so bad about him anyway?".
Yuh know yaah go gwaan until Ruel rass yuh.
Him naah put him hand pon me.
Him can gwaan beat up him chest all him want.
So is a bad time fi tell him Chinna ask yuh fi give him a chance then?.
I almost burst out laughing at my subconscious.
Miss, now yaah look trouble.
"Yuh know why mi no want unu too close Tanoi, stop provoke me"
This man doe God.
"A you a provoke yuh self, look how early yuh call me because a hear say, me and Imani nuh see each other since Monday, you can call him yuh self and ask him"
"Mi no response fi Chinna"
"Yuh actions say otherwise"
He takes a deep breath, him better nuh start huff and puff inna me ears.
Him know mi get him likkle dutty attitude so him cyaah complain, anything him gimme a it me give right back to him.
"Mi just...." He trails off, I stay silent, waiting for him to finish the sentence.
"Mi cyaah lose yuh Tanoi, mi know yuh have feelings and emotions but just understand my side, please"
I sigh in defeat, "I understand".
Noooooooooo.
"Mi naah try hinder yuh happiness but this just cyaah happen, it wouldn't work", this speech again.
"I know, I'll stay away from him unless it's necessary", he could hear how low my voice sounds.
Back to square one.
It wouldn't work out.
"Look, I'm going to get back to work, I'll call you later"
"Yeah, be safe"
"You too princess, I love you"
"I love you too"
I hang up, keeping the phone in my hand for a while. The black screen forcing me to look at myself, I can't breakdown because of this, there was no point in breaking down.
There was no reason to.
Of course, yuh love him and yuh know it ago hard fi yuh stay away from him.
Sigh. Me affi go try.
And mi no love him that much, yuh behave extra too much.
Whatever yuh say Miss Denial.
Whoever a call mi name need fi stop, caz me deh a me yard almost everyday and me always waah go home.
Cho. Kmt.
Mandeville, JA||1:30 P.M
After my father and I got off the phone I decided to catch up on some sleep again, then English came in and told me Chey was going to Portmore, he wanted me to go with her.
I told him what happened, he said he'd find the person or persons who said stuff to Dad.
I'm guessing he told his friend about it because he's been trying to call me all day, I had to put my phone on silent to ignore him.
He didn't call Chey which was a relief, she would have handed the phone to me so quickly.
Or maybe English nuh tell him yet which part yuh deh.
Probably. Hopefully.
Cyaah deal wid him right now.
Chey wanted us to go somewhere with her cousin Tanisha, I haven't seen that girl in a long time and she was the same as when I last saw her three years ago.
Tall, dark and fucking hilarious.
This family is always laughing about something and they're all dark skinned, some real pretty people.
I drove according to the directions of Tanisha, we ended up in Mandeville, I don't know how but we did.
She said there was a daylight rave going on that she didn't want to miss.
I grew up in a house where I was only allowed to leave for school, special occasions...if my father allowed it and shopping, everything else was done for me or I never did anything. I have no idea what goes on in this country, people used to call me priss in high school and stoosh, when in reality I was never allowed to fully enjoy my teen years.
I traveled a lot, I'm used to more foreign things than Jamaican, my father liked it that way too.
I'm surprised I still know most places in the country.
Chey and Tanisha don't have me feeling like an outcast though, they filled me on the latest, like artists, new dances and basic stuff.
I knew a few artists but not a lot.
"Mi believe the only reason she carry we is because we have money" Chey whispers to me as we watched her cousin down another shot of the coconut rum.
Mmm.
Just like that.
She deh pon sumn else.
"Who have money?" I laugh, "everything me own inna me fada or bredda name, I am flat broke".
"Yuh lucky, a your clothes dem me a live pon"
We both look at each other then we start laughing.
Tanisha walked over to us from the small group gathered around the small table pouring shots.
She resembled Chey a little bit, except she was taller and a year older than we were.
I think she's still in college, I'm not sure.
Tanisha swung both her arms around us and pulled us into her body, "it's so good to see you guys!".
"A wah dis man" Chey mutters, "Nisha yuh cyaah drink yuh problems away, yuh seh we can hang out and yuh carry we come a drink".
"I know", Tanisha giggles a little bit, "but I'm heartbroken".
Lawd God.
"Lawd God", Chey must be reading me mind.
"Who break yuh heart?", Chey slapped me on my arm, "ow, a wah me cyaah ask?".
"Me cyaah bada wid e story time Tali, me hear it too much"
"How long now dem break up?"
"Dem never date ,she did like him and him did like her but him mussi did engage and him fiance come back and whatnot, push come to shove him cut wid har"
Dat hot.
Dat very very hot.
"Ooooh!", Tanisha moved off from us to find another table to drink at.
"We can't have her drinking like this Chey, we affi carry her home"
"Mi know but we did plan fi she stay a my house, Mommy naah go happy bout her state", we watched as Tanisha drank from a bottle of Hennessy.
"No, go stop her" I tell Chey.
"Ugh!", Chey stopped off while I finally looked at my phone.
Mi never waah do this eno.
Yes!.
Yeeessss!.
Imani's phone rang out twice, I figured he didn't want to answer and it went straight to voicemail so I called his work phone.
I put it on speaker and once it started to ring I texted both numbers telling him I needed his help.
English wuda flip if him find out we deh a drink out wid no safety.
We shouldn't have left Portmore either and mi know him can see we location.
Mi no know how him do it but as soon as we get outta the range we supposed to be in him phone go off and him start call, if him no get no answer then best believe ano him alone a come find we.
Imani called me back after my two attempts and text messages, he was silent when he called but listened to my reason.
"Doh tell English, me deh Mandeville with Chey, her cousin drunk and-...."
"Send me yuh location"
Damn.....
I did as he requested, he didn't respond but I knew he'd be on his way, if he was going to send someone else he would have told me.
A guy helped us to get Tanisha to the car, he actually asked if we needed help, she was drunk flirting with him and he gave her his number and took hers from Chey.
His name was Nathan, he seemed nice enough.
We sat in the parking lot of the venue listening to music and talking.
Tanisha was already half asleep.
"Yuh call him after yuh fada tell yuh doh dela wid him, yuh nuh fraid?", my overly exaggerating best friend questions.
I scoff, "yuh wuda prefer me call English then?".
Her eyes grow wide, "yaah idiot, two a we wouldn't live it down!"
"Okay"
"But fi real Tali, me not even a worry bout Ruel, a Chinna me a worry bout"
My eyebrows knit in confusion, "why?".
"Come on, yuh know how him get when him vex, remember a nuff time mi affi save yuh eno", she started laughing.
I smile, "yuh remember the wildest things bredda"
"Oh!, when him grip yuh inna yuh neck and yuh cyaah fight him do not call Cheyenne Campbell, call Imani Sybron"
I got the hint of what she was saying and I start laughing, "Chey!".
"What?", she asked it so innocently, "him name sound nice when yuh moan it".
"Cheyenne", I couldn't stop laughing at her.
"Ano lie, especially when yuh call him Mani"
I wiped spilling tears from my eyes, laughing at her still.
I can't even feel embarrassed by what she's saying, I was too used to her talking like this.
"A from high school days unu a fuck eno Tanoi, mi used to unu by now"
"Same thing him say wah day"
"Same way English nuh care, more while me affi deprive him and then me cyaah do without him so me affi give in"
"Anywhere, anytime"
"Anywhere, anytime"
Neither of us would EVER talk to anyone else like this.
Tanisha was fast asleep, she won't remember anything she did today until she sobers up properly and everything sinks in three days later.
I see Chey looking at her phone, her eyes squinted then she looked over at me, I could see the fear in her eyes.
She looked ahead of her and I follow her gaze, my heart almost falters when I see English's black Mark X parked across from us.
"Dem did deh one place", that was all she said then she went mute for a few seconds, just staring ahead, "might as well me done e relationship yasso eno".
"Wahm to yuh girl?", she can't possible making a joke right now.
She showed her phone to me and well, why? Why do we date men who instill fear?.
Babydaddy💙👣💍: yuh nuh listen when mi bloodclaat talk Cheyenne, make sure yaav a good excuse make yuh reach all the way a Mandeville else me a fuck yuh up.
"Yuh cyaah drive off?"
"And go which part Chey?, yuh basically live a me yard"
"Mi know!" she wails, I give her a look of empathy.
"Nuff we nuff"
"Fucking nuff"
The passenger door opened on the car and English got out, from his dress code, a plain white t-shirt and blue jeans, he was busy.
It's weird, Chey and I knew their dress codes.
White t-shirts meant they had money to handle.
And that one.....that's the one we never tried to cause trouble with.
I unlocked the door locks and English opened my door, he stared down at me with a blank expression then he looked at his girlfriend with the same one.
"Chinna a wait fi yuh" he says in a low tone. "Me will bring home Tanisha and Cheyenne".
"So why me cyaah come with you, if Dad find out-...."
"Doh fucking argue with me, get yuh stuff and come"
Well....yuh deh pon yuh own wid dis.
I grabbed my phone and bag before exiting the car, he closed the door then followed me to the other car.
He opened the door for me to get in, when I did, he closed it and took his stuff from the backseat.
"Mi will link yuh" he says to Imani.
"Yeah, drive safe"
"You too, likkle girl when me reach home me deal wid you"
I meekly said yeah, whenever he had to talk to me like a child I felt like one.
I need to stop doing childish things, I knew the consequences but I still did them.
Once he got back to the car, he drove off and Imani left in the opposite direction.
Him naah carry me home.
Him naah go carry me home.
This unfair.
English know him cyaah leave me wid Imani yet him still do it.
Him fada naah go make no noise a my head tomorrow, that me sure of.
The drive was silent, up until he was driving into Moorland Estate.
He lived here before he moved to Kingston permanently.
Oh God.
Him ago kill me.
I almost jumped out of the car, I don't wanna be with him.
Yuh lie.
Nuh think yuh gone.
And me man reach, yuh mad?.
Hear yah.
Me and my mind a two different somebody.
I stayed quiet when we got to the house and I'm still quiet, there was no way, no way I was going to break the ice and talk to him.
Yuh ignore him call wull day but as yuh need him yaah call him.
Be quiet nuh lady.
We sat in silence, with him typing on his phone, probably talking to English.
Or likkle miss Kira.
Nobada start wid that right now eno.
But ano lie.
Mi naah play toxic right now, cyaah bada.
Yuh lucky, yuh period done yuh body a jump fi likkle sex mi know that.
No.
A me yaah tell that?.
I blocked out that voice, I didn't need it right now.
Although she wasn't wrong, I've been trying to play it cool but I need some sex.
I'm so used to playing it cool. However, I needed to focus on other things.
I started to admire the living room space, it was so big, he had two couches, interfacing each other, a love seat and a sofa.
He didn't have a TV down here, he had it in his room.
He tells me everything, also, I've been here a couple of times in the past.
"If you're upset about something we can talk about it" I tell him.
I watched as his fingers hovered over his phone screen before he looked over at me, he put the phone down on the coffee table, keeping his eyes on me.
"We've talked about it more than once, twice", he thought about his next choice of words, "it's all we've talked about, so there's nothing else left to say"
"So why yuh bring me here when yuh could've brought me home?"
"Because yuh bredda have things a deal wid at the house and me did already plan fi come here", he raised an eyebrow at me, "anything else?".
"You were calling me for the entire day and now you want to have an attitude"
He laughs, shaking his head from side to side.
I don't know why I felt chills.
"Tell me something Talissa".
"Hmmm?"
"Yuh like when everything between me and you complicated doh?"
"Why yaah ask me that?"
"Same thing, just forget it"
Rolling my eyes, I hissed my teeth at him. Mi really need fi chill right now before me piss him off.
But mi no business.
"Mi nuh need yuh attitude right now, go lay down or sumn just stay outta me way wid it"
I nod my head, got up and walked out of the room to find somewhere to lay down as he suggested. Maybe for now it was best to stay out of his way.
I'm not even supposed to be here with him, I'm trying to follow my father's orders but for some reason Imani and English always make it seem like I'm not.
For that, I purposely left my phone downstairs with him. If my father calls then he could answer and explain to him why I'm here.
Done arguing with both of them.
For now.