(3) oblivious.
MAGGIE LUPIN walked into the Potter Manor with her nerves on fire, she'd been taking occlumency classes with Fleamont Potter for about the whole summer now, along with a few younger members of the Order. Maggie sucked. Fleamont had told her to block her mind, but she never really understood what he meant by that. She was always just thinking, thinking, thinking, and thinking. How was she supposed to just block her thoughts away? I mean, what did that even mean? Fleamont told her not to think about it that much, he said he got a headache because entire mind was filled with thoughts that made her seem like she was in a thousand places at once, and Maggie almost said 'Well, imagine living with it.'
"Hi, Mags," Alice smiled at the younger girl. Easy for her to be so happy as she was, she was amazing at Occlumency. Alice had been a natural, she'd walked right back into the living room from the study with a pleased expression on her face and Fleamont's hand on her back, patting it constantly for at least a minute, "Good luck, yeah? Remember not to--"
"Overthink? Yeah, I think she's got it, Alice," Marlene said, a pissy look on her face as well, Marlene was Maggie's shit-at-Occlumency-partner, so most of the times, the only person to match Maggie's grumpiness on Occlumency days was Marlene, "I fucking sucked today."
"Aw, just today?" Lily came in from behind and ruffled Marlene's hair. Maggie's hand flew to her hair immediately and she smoothed it down -- there were a few things she had in common with James Potter, his love for Pani Puri, Queen, Butterflies, and Lily Potter -- Marlene swatted her hand away and then mimicked her, "Don't worry about her, Al, she's just upset Fleamont accidentally saw the moment she threw a tantrum in sixth year because Dorcas Meadows said no to going out with her."
"She agreed eventually!"
"Because you wore her down..."
"That's literally what James did to you?"
"Stop it, you guys are going to give me a hernia, I'm stressed enough already." Maggie said to the two girls who had started arguing about whatever. Lily just smiled at what she said, but it wasn't that pleasant smile she passed around for everyone, it was a mischievous one --- reserved only for people she knew.
"Oh, relax, Mags, you'll be fine," Lily wrapped an arm around the younger girl's shoulder, "Nothing could be worse than Fleamont seeing your first period, right?"
Marlene let out the loudest laugh at that while Alice tried her best to hold hers in, Maggie turned pink -- she looked at Lily with wide eyes, "Since when did you become a bully?"
"Maaaaaaaggie!" Jackie called out as she came into view, back into the living room, she had a pout on her face and had let her hair down -- it looked like a cloud on her head in the best way possible, she gave Lily a hug from the side and looked at her best friend, "Mum called for us to come early for no reason! She's not even halfway done with the food!"
"Ugh, I promised Dorcas I'd be home by now," Marlene checked the watch on her wrist, Alice gave her a pouty look but Marlene really didn't want to make Dorcas wait, "I'm sorry, Al, but you know what they say — happy wife, happy life."
"At least put a ring on her finger before you use her to get out of social gatherings," Jackie rolled her eyes, she plopped down on the comfortable couch with a bag of crisps and a throw pillow in her hand, "Poor Dorcas, she's probably hated by like a thousand families."
"Don't be jealous, Jackie," Marlene said to the girl, "You'll find your girl soon, too. Alright, now I have to go. See you all soon, yeah? Bye!"
All the girls in the room chorused a 'Bye!' out as they waited for Fleamont to come out of his study to see who was going to be next. Lily said she was already done with hers but was going to stick around for James to come back home. Jackie had blown a raspberry out at that, apparently now that James was gone, she was having quite a lot of fun having the 'only child experience.' Maggie knew it was bullshit, sometimes Jackie would just hang around in James' room for no reason — or so she insisted, but everyone knows she missed him. At the dinner table when her parents went out on date nights, when something came on the Telly that they used to watch together, someone to go to Zonko's with and someone to bully.
It was a quiet kind of mourning, to have a sibling move out, you know there's nothing to be sad about, really, because they're just fine away, but to just know that you're never going to be as close as you used to be.
Maggie was like that with Remus too, she'd never say it to his face but she missed fighting over food. When he was there, he'd scarf down weeks worth of groceries in one sitting, and Maggie would have to hide her food away so he didn't eat her portion either — which, somehow, he always did find and eat. Now, when her Mum bought the groceries, she just got overwhelmed looking at all the food at once. It was always the small things she missed, she didn't miss the fights, of course, but she didn't not miss it either.
She felt odd too, having this attention on her.
Remus was quite young when he'd gotten bit, and Maggie was even younger, but she knew when she saw her brother sobbing with his hand pressed to his shoulder saying he didn't want to be a monster that she'd have to step aside for a while. Remus needed the care more, so for years to come her parents did care for him more. They were aware and they'd apologize to her every chance they got, they'd tell her she was 'the most understanding girl in the world.' but she didn't know if that was it. She just wanted to be liked, and she knew if she acted like Remus did she wouldn't be. She didn't blame him, of course she didn't. He was a kid when he got dealt the worst hand, and he took it out on people for a while — he would run away, lock his bedroom door, refuse to eat, throw tantrums when he didn't get what he wanted. For a while, it was just about what Remus wanted. It still was in some ways. That's how they'd all been hardwired into living.
Now that Maggie knew, she did wonder, though, maybe if it had something to with it? Remus being more of them?
Maggie's overthinking session was cut short when her brother stepped out of the study room with Fleamont. She wouldn't lie, she had been avoiding him for a bit — just because she wasn't sure on how to approach... the topic. Remus saw her and simply nodded, Maggie got up and walked into the study. God, please save her from whatever embarrassment she's about to cause herself because of her own thoughts.
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"MAGGIE." Remus said to her as soon as she stepped out of the room, after yet another failed session, her frustration was at an all time high, and seeing her brother standing there with a look on his face just made her even more angry.
"What?" Maggie asked, just because she was angry didn't mean she'd let herself be angry. No one ever knew what Maggie actually felt. To Remus, to the Potters and to the rest of the world -- Maggie was forever kind, neutral, and smiley.
"You've been avoiding me?"
"I've always avoided you, that's what siblings do...?"
"You know what I mean," Remus said to her with his arms crossed and his head turned just a bit downwards to look at him -- note that Maggie isn't small, she's tall, actually, about five feet and eight inches -- it was just that her brother was incredibly tall, a giant, one could say, "If this is about--"
"It's not, gosh, can't a girl just avoid seeing her irritating brother without being questioned these days?" Maggie said, she hoped he'd understand and let that subject go -- but she really didn't know, brothers were the most emotionally oblivious people of all time, "Besides, it's not even that big of a deal."
"Exactly!" Remus said, he got up and stood straighter, abandoning the wall he was leaning on, he cleared his throat when Maggie raised her eyebrows at his immediate and loud response to what she'd said, "I mean, it's not, I agree. You're still... you know, my sister or whatever."
"Believe me, I'm way too aware of that," Maggie said, she hoped she looked as traumatized on the outside as she felt on the inside. She'd seen way too much of Remus growing up for a single piece of information to change their dynamic. She'd suffered way too much was what she was trying to say. I mean, fuck, you try growing up with a brother going through puberty, that shit changes you forever, in ways you will never be able to understand, "Mum was asking for you, by the way."
"I'm coming to do laundry this Sunday." Remus said and then walked away from her, Maggie rolled her eyes -- now that they weren't at Hogwarts anymore, the house elves weren't doing their laundry and because Remus and Sirius (they were sharing an apartment together) sucked at cleaning spells, Remus just came home with his laundry and made his Mum do all the work.
"Kids, supper!" Euphemia Potter called out from the dining room, Maggie reached for Remus' sleeve before he could walk up to that room, he gave her an annoyed look.
"I need you to redo the spell." Maggie said.
"What spell?" Remus asked.
"The spell." Maggie said in the most obvious tone ever.
"I'm hungry, just get James to do it later. I don't know!" Yeah, there was the brother she knew, the perpetually annoyed teenage boy that would rather drop dead than openly care for his little sister. Remus walked away, clearly caring more about the pasta he could smell from the living room than he did about his sister.
"Fine, I didn't want your annoying voice in my head anyway!" Maggie scoffed and followed after to the dining room. There she found Sirius, her smile was immediate as she practically jumped into his arms, "Oh, my god! You didn't tell us you were gonna be here!" Maggie had remained in a hopping state for a bit, so had Sirius -- the smile on his face wide enough to match Maggie's.
"I thought I'd surprise you and Jackie! How are you, smalls?" Sirius still hadn't let go of her, he had his arm around her shoulder still, holding her in a side hug position. Jackie and Maggie hadn't seen Sirius all summer, he'd been busy with auror training and his new apartment, along with the Order, he had a packed schedule. With James, Maggie saw him every once in a while because of Jackie -- thank god for that -- but she'd barely been able to see Peter or Sirius this summer, both of whom opted to remain out of the Occlumency training classes that Fleamont held every weekend.
"Two weeks she hasn't seen me, and yet you're the one that gets a hug." Remus said to his friend as he pulled a chair next to Sirius, he gave Jackie a polite smile as he pat her head with affection.
"Hm, maybe you should try being nice next time." Sirius told his friend as he pulled Maggie a seat next to him, she sat down with a delighted smile -- setting the last session of Occlumency to the back of her mind, for the time being.
"I hope I'm not late!" James came in a hurry, his hair as messy as always, he looked at the table surrounded with the people he so dearly loved and smiled, "Oh, hey, smalls!" He greeted Maggie first -- she was the closest to him, her seat was right next to his -- he gave her a small side hug. Maggie felt warm. Ever since she was little, Maggie had always loved James, in a weird way she'd just attached herself to him when she was ten, he'd come over to invite her brother over for a sleepover and she'd just gravitated towards him.
She supposed most people felt that way about James, something about him just made you want to latch on to him.
"So, I heard you met my brother?"
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