Gibbs x Fem!Reader
Summary: When a proposal to his girlfriend Y/N goes the exact wrong direction, Jethro has to grapple with his hurt feelings and bruised ego while also trying to make sure the love of his life is okay.
TW- past abuse (not Gibbs), abusive parent, divorce, fear of marriage, bruises, violence, guns, angst, illusions to sex but no actual content.
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In a quiet romantic restaurant, the candles flickered softly as Gibbs nervously fidgeted with the small velvet box in his pocket. He had been planning this moment for weeks, wanting everything to be just perfect when he popped the question to his girlfriend, Y/N.
The string quartet positioned on the stage in the corner started up yet another recognizable tune, slowed down to mimic a romance song. Y/N had gone against the norm and opted to shift her chair so she could be beside Jethro instead of across the table from him. This allowed the pair to hold each other's non-dominant hand while eating silently with the other. Gibbs' large left hand ruled in comparison to Y/N's right one, her small hands having been a constant point of mockery in her childhood.
I had taken Jethro quite a long time to get used to the fact that, for once, he had a partner who didn't see the need to fill silence with idle blabbering. Y/N had alwaus been such a quite person, only speaking up at work or when she absolutely had to share something. It had also been hart for Gibbs to get used to the fact that Y/N's love language was physical touch. She needed dto feel how he hugged, kissed, held and otherwise touched her to gage if he were upset with her in any way.
The constant physical contact acted as Y/N's way of knowing for sure that her boyfriend wasn't mad at her. If he ever forgot to kiss her goodnight when he came home, or didn't at least hug her, she would assume she was bei g punished for some random transgression. But, Y/N had adapted well to his own needs and love language so, the least he could do was try to do the same.
As dessert arrived, Gibbs took a deep breath and, mustering up all his courage, got down on one knee.
"Y/N, will you marry me?" he asked, his heart racing with anticipation.
Y/N's eyes widened in shock, tears welling up in her eyes. But instead of the joyous response he had hoped for, she jumped up from her seat and ran out of the restaurant, leaving Gibbs stunned and confused.
For weeks, Gibbs tried to contact the love of his life, calling her repeatedly and sending trying like hell to get his technologically impaired seft to be able to emote properly over text messaging. But all he heard was silence in return, leaving him feeling lost and heartbroken. When calls failed, the viocemail box sent the full message, and he had sent over a hundred texts with various mistakes and missing letters, Gibbs did the one thing he knew would at least gr to her no matter what. He emailed her work a count using his own. With home both working inthe federal government, him as NCIS her at the CIA, it was never an option to not have email notifications on.
It wasn't until a chance encounter at the grocery store with Y/N's aging mother that the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place. In a tearful confession, Collette revealed the dark truth about hers and her daughter's past.
Right there in the frozen entrees aisle, Collette explained that Y/N's childhood had been marred by her father's controlling and abusive behavior. For the first five years of her life, he had been sweet and loving, tkaong her to her softball games and gynmastics practices, spendingntomenwirh her lounging on the couch, helping her with her color recognition wheen her hereditary coloe blindness made pre-k homework hard. But as soon as her parents had enough money for the wedding, they got married when she was in kindergarten. He had turned into a monster, controlling every aspect of her life. She no longer was allowed to 'waste time' watching the TV. She was made to chose between gymnastics and softball. And, since she chose softball, he used that as a way to 'cover up' all the bruises and marks he left on her growing up.
Y/N was so afraid of the repruscussions shukd she tell any adult about what was going on at home that she started lying when teacher would ask. The black eye she got one weekend after she ignored her father's demands for her to cook him a new meal that was duffenrt that hers and her mother's was explained away as a ball striking her in the face whike o nthe pichers mound. The broken arm she got when her dad slammed her non-doninent hand in her bedroom door while throwing her in for the night was 'a clumsy fall'.
It was worst stil for Collette. She had been basically bedridden from the abuse for the entirety of the ten years it took her to get out of the marriage. Between his abusive hand, and his obsession with his wife being seen as a trophy that should be thin, pretty, and perfect, she had wasted away to almsot nothing by the time Y/N had taken matters into her own hands as a sophomore.
Now, this part of the story, Jethro knew quite well. Y/N had developed a crack-shot aim thanks to spending her entire life playing ball either on a 'real' team or a rec one. Her position as the main pitcher aided this development. She had confided in him some two and a half years ago that she was only 15 when she shot someone for the first time. But, the way she had explained it back then led Jethro to believe that it had been an accident. Now that he had the rest of the facts, he no longer assumed that. The bullet to the chest that had killed her father was no accident. It was her final act of defiance and an attempt to free herself and her mother from a life of abuse and mistreatment. But, It was the next sentence that both brought Jethro back to the present and shifted his mindset from the concerned boyfriend to fierce protector.
"His knuckles were still swollen from cracking four of her ribs that morning when his own were cracked over for the autopsy."
Gibbs felt a wave of empathy wash over him as he realized the true depths of his love's trauma and the truth behind her intense obsession with combat training that persists even to this day. He knew that he had to tread carefully and give her the space and time she needed to heal.
It was only after his gaze accidentally sweet over the contents of Colette's trolley cart that he realized what was happening. At this point it is imposratn to know that Collette Wiliams was a vegetarian while her daughter was the furthest thing from one. I don't mean to imply Y/N hates vegetable. The opposite is actually true. But, since she still played in a women's rec softball league multilel times a week, she had a very protein heavy diet to fuel that amount of energy she burns between work and play.
The steaks, chicken breasts, bacon, and frozen pepperoni and ham pizza in the cart gave away exactly how affected Y/N had been by his proposal. She had run across the river to Anacostia to stay with her mother in her cramped one bedroom apartment, lielly sleeping on the couch in the den, covered I crinkly plastic to keep it nice. Gibbsknew the next step well. If Y/N was at her mother's apartment, it wouldn't be long u til she bolted to Winchester Virginia, on the other side eof the state, to spend some time with her truest friend, Callie. And, if she went there, she would be gone for weeks. The last time e she had to visit was when Callie had Luca, her now two year old son. And Y/N had been there for two months as she helped Callie get used to motherhood.
Days without Y/N turned into weeks without her. And the weeks became over a month and a half. This proved Jethro's suspitions that she had taken a leave of absence from her duties to visit Callie. Finally, at two in the morning, one Tuesdays, Gibbs received a timid knock on his door. There were only two types of people who still felt the need to knock on the perpetually unlocked front door of his home. And, he didn't suspect jahovas witnesses had taken to making 2am conversion rounds.
"It's unlocked, Princess!" Jethro yells, just loud enough to be heard from where he was too tired to get up off the couch. The almost silent way the door opened and closed was followed by an even more silent Y/N coming into view. She looked like she had been crying nonstop for at least a week based on the extent of the swelling under her eyes, irritated by her still-flowing tears.
"I'm so sorry, Baby," she whispered, her voice shaking with emotion. "I wasn't ready to confront my past, but I want to try to move forward with you."
Gibbs took her into his arms, holding her tight as he looked into her eyes like his entire world lived inside those two golden ember orbs. "Your past made you who you are. But it does not define you." He cooed, saying exactly what she needed to hear without even realizing it. "We can stay just as we are if it makes you feel safe." Gibbs offers, beaming to himself when he sees the slightly glint of the haply girl he loved come through when she realized he wasn't going to push for marriage if it scared her. "But, when you meet the team, I'm going to have to call you my wife....even if it is pretend." He admitted, showing just how committed he was to her even if the government didn't 'count' the union.
What started as a reassuring peck on closed lips in the livingroom quickly evolved into a trail of discarded clothing that lead to the upstairs bedroom. "Mine." Gibbs growled from deep in his throat, finally showcasing his own love language....protecting and serving what's his. "Yours." Y/n affirms in a clamp, clear voice that had just started to sound whispy. "I love you."
Gibbs' heart swelled at hearing her sat time words as opposed to showing the meaning of them. Itnhad been over ten months since Y/N had said those eight letters to him, opting instead to show her devotion through physical acts of intimacy as well as making him food and doing his laundry twice weekly.
"Lay down for me, Sugar." Jethro softly ordered as he removed his watch, the fianl peic eof clothing on him, and set it on its designated charger. It didnt take a highly trian3d federal agent to see exactly where this was going. But, the fact that Y/N was, in fact, such an agent allowed her to paly out the entire encounter to come in the span of the ten seconds it took her to get comfortable on the pillows that smelled just like her forever love's favorite 3-in-one shampoo.
Gibbs completely skipped the 'part' of lovemaking that most women he's been with would die to spend the whole time enjoying. Y/N, having never found the prospect of someone's head between her knees arousing at all, actually got turned off by such activity, leading to her crying until it was over. It took less than ten seconds into the act the first time the two were intimate for Jethro to realize she wasn't enjoying it. So, since then, it wasn't even a thought in his head.
"Jay, please." Y/N cried out, already eager for a bit of a warm up before the real fun begins. While she hated recueving oral, she absolutely LOVED being tpyed with whike giving it. And, that was exactly what she woukd get. Jethro gives his girl what she wants, the second she admits she wants it.
The change in position happened so fast that it didn't even register in Y/N's Brian that Jethro had lifted her up, positioned himself on his back, and then plopped he down beside him until she had her cheek rested agent his half-hard manhood. A few lazy pumps and her favorite man in the world would be lighting up her tongue with his essence for the first time in over six weeks.
Y/N looked up to Jethro in the timid, submissive way she only does when completely zoned into sexy time. "Go 'head, Baby." Jethro sighs out, eager to have Y/N's hands on him after so long.
"I love you, Y/N."