*** A/N: Soak up the smut, my lovelies, because after this chapter, it will be a little while before you get any more. Obviously, you can always go back and re-read the previous ones. I am happy to give a ranking of my personal favorites if you need one :)
I wake up to an empty bed. Well, empty except for Evie, but empty of my person. This isn't the first time that has happened with Nola sleeping next to me. Usually it's because she is attending to one of the girls, but I rarely sleep through them making the tiniest bit of noise. So, I don't know how I slept through what woke her or her leaving the room. Then, I notice that the iPad is still sitting on the dresser, and she usually takes that with her when she gets up at night so that the source of the noice doesn't wake me (even though I never mind when it does). Grabbing it, I can see that all three little Bennett women are still very much asleep. Which means Nola either went somewhere else to sleep or she is sitting awake somewhere and either of those options makes me want to go and find her.
The chill of December air requires more clothing than I was just sleeping in. I slip on a pair of joggers and blindly reach for the stack of sweatshirts in my closet, pulling out an oversized tour hoodie. I go to her room first, pushing the door open quietly, but I'm greeted by her bedside lamp illuminating the space after I flip the switch. There is no evidence of her being in this room tonight, at all.
Next, I go downstairs on her side and find the main floor also void of any evidence of her having been here tonight. I slip on the shoes I have by her back door and walk outside to go over to my house but a light in the distance, inside the greenhouse, catches my eye.
Somewhere between falling asleep and now, heavy, wet snow began falling. I think about going to get a jacket, but instead I pull my hood up and stick my hands in the pouch, shuffling quickly towards the greenhouse. As I get closer, I notice her laying on one of the tables looking up at the ceiling. I observe her as I walk closer. Her hand is resting on her chest, like she is feeling her lungs taking in breaths for some reason. When the door opens, I expect her to turn her head to me, but she does nothing. She doesn't even flinch as my feet noisily walk towards her. Instead of saying anything, I crawl up to lay down at the table next to hers, scooting my body up so that our heads can share the same view of the sky above. I notice her breathing change as her hand raises and falls a little quicker that it did when I first started watching her.
I give her a good five minutes to speak, and I get more anxious as the time passes until I can hear my heartbeat in the inside of my ears and I can't take it any longer. After sitting for so long, we end up both talking at the same time. "What are you doing out here, my love?" I say while she says, "I couldn't sleep."
There is an awkward pause, because I think we are both unsure of who is going to continue. "You go first," I say and she nods her head against the table.
"I'm lost, H. I don't know how to feel more secure in what we have in the next week." She says, using her hands to talk, which she only does when she is really nervous. What the hell? I shift to sitting and she mirrors me, doing the same. I ignore Evie's calls for attention and reach for Nola's hand, because I need to touch her.
"I don't... I don't really even know what to say, Nol. I... Are you..." I stutter out, tears falling as I speak. "I hate that you're not feeling secure. I don't know what else to do to prove how I feel about you."
She looks up at me with those doe eyes. "I don't need proof, Harry. I know how you feel about me. I have no doubt that you love me, and that you will make this work, but it's the HOW that has me spiraling. It's my own stupid tie up." Jesus. This is bad. She can't leave England with doubts like this on her mind.
"How can I fix it?" I blurt out. She reaches her hand up to cradle my cheek, balling the end of her sweatshirt sleeve so she can wipe my cheek free from tears.
"That's the problem. It's not anything you need to fix, baby," she says. "Not knowing how we are going to be outside of our bubble here is just making me anxious, which is making me not sleep. I thought maybe my heart would talk some sense into my brain out here. If nothing else, it's a beautiful place to spend the awake hours of my anxiety-induced insomnia."
What if I hadn't come to find her? Would she have said anything or just left next week without telling me? Long distance rarely works with excellent communication. If we can't do that, we're screwed. "Darling, you should have woken me up and talked to me. You can't run from things like this. We have to communicate because when I'm not there to find you in the greenhouse, I'm afraid you won't."
She bites her lip and a smirk grows. "I left because when I'm laying next to you... my solution to everything when I'm near you is physical. Wanting to not waste a minute of the time we have without connecting, but that just makes me feel more sad about the loss of that after I leave and it doesn't fix my anxiety. It just postpones it." I get that. Fuck, I really do.
"Do I need to have a dildo molded from my cock?" I joke, but make a mental note to look into it for a Christmas gift. "I'm dead serious, here. If you're afraid that us not connecting will cause issues, we will FIND WAYS TO CONNECT," I tell her because I am hellbent on this working. I pull her onto my lap, because even thinking about it has made me hard. I know this isn't us communicating with our mouths, but we ARE really good at communicating with our bodies. It's near impossible to be upset when we are having sex. She wraps her legs around me and I know that she is on the same page about this. "I'm not looking forward to that either, if it makes you feel any better."
NO. This is exactly what she was talking about. We need to TALK. I place a chaste kiss on her lips and pull back to talk to her. "I know I can't fix this entirely, but is there something I can do to at least get you back to bed and maybe sleeping?"
"Yeah, actually. Can we figure out past January? I feel like all we did was push our December back one month." Valid. That is quite literally what we did.
"Of course we can, but my phone is inside. Give me a minute to go grab it?" I ask her and she gets off my lap and we both stand up. She looks so adorable in my jacket and I love that she grabbed it instead of hers to take outside with her. That has to mean something, right? "I like your jacket." I say in a whisper. She just smiles back at me as I run to the house to grab my phone.
I return the greenhouse with my calendar app open, already talking as I approach her. "Alright, so December 30th, you fly to Holmes Chapel. Then, we will fly back to Los Angeles together on the 3rd or 4th of January."
"And you start filming on?" she asks as I sit down next to her, both of us staring at our calendars.
"The 6th. I'll send you my schedule for on set, but know that the hours are usually much longer than it says. There are a few days off, that I thought we could do your house hunting? Looking at the ones you've narrowed it down to?" I tell her as I air-drop my DWD schedule to her, which I should have done weeks ago.
"So, are you talking about the 17th, 18th and 19th?" she asks me, looking at my first chunk of time off from shooting.
"Yes. Maybe let's plan a date night on the 17th? Then, we can house hunt on the 18th?" She is adding all of these things to her calendar, then I have to to the same to mine and I decide this is dumb. So, I take her phone and create an 'IMPORTANT' calendar, shading it one of the only colors I don't have in use yet- a bright yellow. I invite her to our shared calendar and she is sitting next to me having one of her rare fangirl moments, so I just ignore it and keep going knowing she'll come back to me in a minute. "I have some album stuff on the 19th and I have a late dinner on the 18th with Jeff and Glenne to go over business stuff, but I'm guessing he already assumed you were coming to that. Do you think Helen and Albert would be willing to watch the girls both nights?"
"That's the other thing. I think I need to get a nanny again." Again? The girls had a nanny? That could be a whole other type of shit-show where dating me is concerned. Can you imagine the stories the nanny could sell? "If I'm going to be working full time, I can't rely on them to be able to do everything for me. I'm assuming that while you are filming, the girls couldn't be in school? What would be too much exposure?"
Good question? If they aren't technically my kids, how does that all work? But, the girls would love being in school and it would be a break for her. She's looking at me expectantly. Shit. I need to say these things out loud and not just in my head. "I'm pretty sure Olivia's kids are at school. The girls would love preschool, Nol. We should look into that."
"You think?" she asks.
I change the departure from Holmes Chapel to a day earlier and add 'tour preschools' to our calendar. "I can talk to some friends- James and Ben both have kids in L.A. and would have great recommendations for agencies to work with for a nanny or schools to look at touring."
"That would be amazing," she smiles and I can see her body relaxing in front of my eyes.
"I have the 31st and 1st off, as well, for my birthday, so let's just pencil those in," I say, smirking her direction knowing that even though I've never outright told her my birthday she already knows when it is. Sometimes I hate Google. "February sucks, from a filming standpoint. There are some away location shoots and the time I have off was planned for the studio already, I'm afraid, my love," I say and she goes back to her unrelaxed state, her body tensing before my eyes. "No- don't do that," I say as I try to rub her shoulders and pull her out of it with my touch. "I didn't say we couldn't make it work to see each other, we're just going to have to be creative."
"This day," she says, pointing to the 11th of February, "dinner at my place?" she asks. I know that it says we will be done filming at 7pm, which likely means that the lighting is no longer good for outdoor shots, but it could mean we are there longer, but I won't know until closer to the date. For now, I will just agree and add it to the calendar.
"It's a date. Obviously, I plan to have you and the girls sleepover, or me stay with you, once I know how reliable our set times are on the schedule, but for sure plan on the 11th, 15th, 20th and 26th." I offer all the days that I possibly can in my packed February, kissing her forehead as the yellow color brightens up my calendar in the very same way Nola and the girls brighten my actual days.
"In March, I have a trip out to see Hope," she says, pointing to her phone in my hand, showing me the week in March that she is planning to see her cousin.
"Can I share your calendar with me, too? Like the one that has your other stuff on it? So I know when you're busy?" I can't surprise her if I don't know where she is.
"Harry, you can share all of them, if you want to, but then I get yours, too," she says and I happily agree, but only after adding a disclaimer.
"Mine is ugly, but it's yours if you want it filling up all the open space on your calendar." She opens up the calendars and shares them with herself.
"We will have to wait and see when the girls spring break is, but it would be fun to take a trip after filming is done- just the five of us."
"I'd really love that, but I think My Policeman starts pretty soon after Don't Worry Darling." We will make something work. Once she adds the girls school dates to this, I can work around those. She looks down at her phone and closes all the open apps before setting it down on the table next to us, and I do the same. I pull her onto my lap, once more, with very different intentions than half-an-hour ago. Alright, maybe the same intensions but better timing. "Do you feel better now?" I ask her but she doesn't answer immediately. "Nol, my love?"
"Yes?"
"Remember how you said you didn't want to waste the time we had together to connect?" I use her words against her and make my desires known and her body tells me that she is receptive even when her sassy attitude might say something different.
"I'm pretty sure we already tested this table, Mr. Styles," she says, pretending that she isn't into me, or this, when I know damn well that she is. So, I find us a different table.
"I don't believe we tested the structural integrity of that one, did we?" I ask, pointing to the one in the corner and I pick her up and move us to it, asking her if she would like to be on top, or give me the honor, on our way there. As I was hoping she would, she answers, "me."
She strips from her waist down and I do the same. As she crawls onto the bench, I get visions of her on that bench doing things. "Darling, the bench is our next stop," I tell her as my lips fight for a place on the exposed skin of her neck.
"Fine by me," she answers. She takes my cock in her hand, pumping while she runs the fingertips of her other hand over all of the areas that are now free of hair, soft and needy for her. Her hands even wander to my rim and she gives me some soft touches that awaken the memories of the new ways she's explored with me.
"Jesus, Nol," I curse out at the feeling, reaching to make sure I get her ready, as well, finding her more than ready when two fingers slide in with ease. I barely have time to prepare myself before she is taking my tip in. She feels fantastic, but I can tell the feeling is not 100% mutual tonight. "Nol, talk to me," I say as I lift her up and almost off my cock.
"Just adjusting, baby. The table makes it less forgiving," she says and then I get it. When I'm laying flat on my back on a table that my body can't sink into, it's more of me for her to 'take in'.
"Want to switch?" I ask and she signals that she doesn't want to. "That's my girl. Now, tell me what you need."
"Play with me- touch my clit." Not a problem. I do as she asks and she also adds, "don't thrust." I want to say 'duh' but that would be rude. Still- I'm not an ass.
"Wouldn't dream of it. You talk to me and tell me what you need," I assert as my hands still on her hip and her clit, letting her body direct all of the other movement.
"This is good," she says, and she lifts her sweatshirt over her head, so I can watch our connection because she knows how much I love that. After minutes of barely moving, she asks me to take some of the control but I'm afraid of doing too much too soon. I gently push in, going as slow as I think I can hold myself back to go, all the while reading her facial expressions and how her body is relaxing, or NOT relaxing, around me. Is it wrong that this is a turn on?
"Push in deeper- slowly, but hold me there so I don't back off." I do so, but again watch her face for any sign of worsening discomfort. Eventually, she bottoms out and I roll my head back until I hear her first sounds. "Shit." That word snaps me right back to a gentleman, stilling beneath her with my hands ready to lift her off of me.
"Too much?"
"No, just... ugh, just move." She is trying, but her body is petit and I'm not sure there is anything we can do about that more than we already have besides switch positions. She is determined, though, and even though I try, says she doesn't want me to stop. Instead, I feel her begin to tighten around me, nearing her undoing."Fuck... Harry, I'm," she whines.
"I know. Me, too..." I tell her because I've been holding off for long enough that everything hurts. Thankfully, I feel her high hit and unleash mine to play with hers, letting our bodies do their thing as we moan together though the euphoria. The release is good, but it's tainted with concern for Nol. "Are you sure you're alright?" I ask as we both come back to earth.
"Yes, Harry." She lays her body down, fully releasing herself. "However..." she says, looking in my eyes as our heads are now closer together. "I can now say with full authority that, for me, there is such a thing as too long for comfort."
Well, shit. Now I feel like an ass for continuing, even though she told me to. Nola, of course, can read me like a book and tells me that she's more than fine, just a little uncomfortable some of the time, which I still hate. She hops off me, kissing the tip of my cock, telling me 'it's not your fault, H,' then she gestures for me to move to the bench and I'm growing hard once again. "Are you sure, Nol?"
"This will be good, baby," she says as she pushes my shoulders to sit down on the bench. It's a totally different angle, and one we frequently enjoy on the window seat in my studio. I can't imagine what Tom or Tyler would say if they knew how defiled the seat they fight over every time we write in that room really is. She starts by facing me, lifting my sweatshirt up over my body. "You won't be cold for long," she promises me as her bare chest connects to mine. I lay my cock down against my abdomen and I slouch so she can rub her pussy up and down the length of my shaft, causing us to both go unglued. One of my favorite things from this position is having to look up to kiss her. Being able to wrap my arms around her body and feel her hair fall down around us as she looks down to me.
I scoot the bench farther away from the table, only jostling her slightly in the process, but she recovers quickly. Her hand reaches down, behind her, grabbing my cock and standing it at attention as she lifts up just enough to line up and sink down on top of me, having no issue taking me all in from this angle. I take her ass in my left hand, while holding her body very close to mine with my right, and our rhythm syncs within a few thrusts, both of us even syncing our breathing as our connected chests rise and fall together.
"Better, my love?" I whisper.
She nods, but then bends down and whispers back, "I want to turn around." So, I lift her up and she stands, spins around and I move back farther on the bench, thankful for the sturdy table behind my back. She gingerly seats herself back on top of me, bending over so I can watch myself enter a few times before she sits up farther. My hands, once again, find her ass cheeks to guide her from this new angle, but she needs no help. Her body is fucking amazing.
I can't take the lack of contact from her leaning forward, though, so I reach my hands around her and pull her back against my chest, holding her there tightly as we rock back and forth on the bench. I move one of my hands down to her clit and circle it with my fingers, pressing my palm against her pubic bone and her hips move to mirror my hands motions. She turns her to the side, kissing me passionately over her shoulder as her body rides my cock, rocking against my hand at a slow pace until I can't take it any longer.
I tighten my arms around her and ask, "are you ready?" She knew what for and she nods as my body pounds into her from below at a rapid pace. The sounds of our moaning and our skin hitting together, almost violently, echo through the greenhouse. My free hand holds her tight, her breasts bouncing as the pace continues, but it won't for long because she is now screaming and grasping onto my arms for dear life. She always needs something to grip just seconds before her release snaps in her body. I'm barely holding back at this point, but trying to for her sake, so I work harder on her clit until her body flings back. Her head falls on my shoulder and her breath releases hisses between moans as her stomach rolls through the climax atop my cock. Three deep thrusts more and I'm cuming inside her as our bodies begin to shake as one, my hands roaming all over her like they can't find what they are looking for. Mostly because I can't touch her clit right now, well I could, but she would be too sensitive and I don't think we are pushing that boundary tonight.
Just minutes later, I'm surprised when she hops off and lays back on the table with her legs spread wide. "Come clean me up, H," she coos, laying back and innocently playing with her nipples. I don't have to be told twice, grabbing my discarded hoodie to kneel on in front of her. I kiss up and down her entire body, focusing on the delicately soft skin now surrounding her pussy before attaching my lips to her folds. I clean up our mess, but then her hands find my hair and she pulls my mouth off her and begs for round three, instead. I'm not sure I'm entirely ready for it, but I can't deny her request, so after a little pep talk with my cock, I'm pushing the bench out of the way and sinking into her from the edge of the table.
"Harrrrrry," she screams and my hands find her hips, holding her on the edge as I taker her. Then, Nola lifts one of her legs up and rests her foot on my shoulder, and I wrap my arm around her thigh it as I deepen our connection. "Yeah, baby... Just like that," she praises, urging me to keep going. Here I thought this was going to take a while for both of us, but it's building faster than I expected as I watch her whole body bounce while I hug her thigh between us. My pace involuntarily increases as my orgasm nears, and once again the sound of our now wet skin hitting together fills the air, echoing loudly in the all glass space.
I drop my hand to her clit as my whole body tenses in anticipation of my third release. "Fuck, Nol," I whine, grunting the last thrusts into her at a rapid pace as her body tenses and her breathing becomes disjointed. She's so close.
"Harrrrrrrrry," she moans before releasing a breathy whine and tightening around me. I hold her thigh for dear life, getting in a few more thrusts before our bodies ultimately give in to our respective highs. "Oh, my...god!" she screams and I meet those words with the ugly moans that my body only releases for those who have truly pleasured me. Nola gets to hear them every time we're together.
I bend down from my position, once I start to come down, kissing a trail up from her clit to her mouth. "You, my love, are something else," I say to her because I don't even know what to say at this point besides, "I love you, so much."
"I love you, too, H."
•••••
I wake up to my second favorite sound (after Nola's voice, of course). "Mama, it snowed," Mia says joyfully as she enters my room, totally unaware that her mother and I didn't make it back to bed until about two hours ago. Though not drunk on alcohol, we were definitely drunk on each other and the hangover this morning is going to be brutal.
Lottie silently follows her sister, both of them climbing up. Nola leaves to go and get Hattie out of the crib and returns to find Mia and I watching the next part of Brave (the girls new favorite Disney movie). This is fast becoming my favorite time of day with the Bennett women. I love watching the way Nola lovingly stares down as Hattie nurses and the way girls sweetly greet their baby sister, then tangle together in a pile to watch the show. That's how we find them most mornings when we have to wake them up, piled together in one of their beds. Nola says it's been that way since they were in the womb.
They constantly ask us what adventures we are going on that day. I can't say that I can blame them because they have had some pretty incredible opportunities for two three-year-old girls during a pandemic. The snow is perfect, and I want desperately bring them before they leave. I guess there is no day like today. "Do you little ladies want to go sledding?" I ask them and they jump excitedly on the bed. Nola looks at me and I silently ask for forgiveness for asking them before running it by her, because I know there is no going back now. Thankfully, she smiles and nods in agreement.
"I think breakfast is in order, then we will get ready to go sledding." I say, standing up. "Mama, why don't you finish feeding Hattie and take a shower, then I'll trade with you." I say to Nola, bending down to kiss her and whisper the next part. "Let's take them sledding at Pinnacle." She nods back, so I kiss her lips before I chase the girls downstairs to give Nola some time to get herself, and Hattie, ready.
We are getting all ready to make pancakes when I get a text. I see that it is from Nola, who is literally upstairs, and it makes me giggle.
----- Text from Nola-----
Nola: Do you have to be anywhere tomorrow?
Harry: No. Why?
Nola: We will be halfway to Holmes Chapel. Why don't we go to your mom's house? The girls aren't going to be able to see her before we leave otherwise.
I'd love to go to mum's house and I know she would love to see them all before they leave.
Harry: I'd love that, if you're sure.
Nola: Positive.
Harry: Shower then come eat. We'll pack after that.
I slide over to text mum while I try to make breakfast.
Nola: Yay!!!!!
-----End of message-----
----- Text to mum-----
Harry: Are you busy today or tomorrow if Nola and I wanted to bring the girls up this afternoon and stay until dinner time tomorrow or maybe Tuesday morning?
Mum: I have no plans that can't be moved. I would love to see you all.
Harry: Wonderful. We are going sledding at Pinnacle on the way, so it won't be until later in the day that we arrive.
Mum: Will you be here for dinner?
Harry: I'll arrange something. We are already dropping in unplanned.
Mum: Nonsense.
Harry: I want to. I might set up dinner out somewhere.
Mum: I'll make more of the soup that I was already planning to make and we can eat it tonight or tomorrow.
Harry: Fine, but I'll stop at the bakery and pick up breads and treats for breakfast.
Mum: Deal.
Mum: Love you, and see you five soon!
Harry: Love you, too.
Mum: Can I assume that you and Nola will be sharing a room? Then I can put the twins in the room Nola was in last time.
Of course she would ask that.
Harry: Yes, mum. We will be sharing a room.
----- End of message-----
"Harry, help us," Mia pouts at my feet, holding their aprons in their hands after trying to put them on each other with no success.
"Sorry, darlings. I was just messaging Annie to see if we could go to her house today. Do you want to go and see her?" I ask and they both get excited and start dancing around as I try to tie the aprons on their bouncing bodies. We whip up some pancakes and I cut up some fruits while the griddle warms. Then, the girls watch the pancakes baking, dropping bits of blueberries or strawberries into them before flipping the mix. I'm flipping the last of the pancakes as Nola comes into the kitchen.
"Looks good enough to eat!"
"Can we pack for Annie's?" Mia begs and I say 'yes' before Nola can say otherwise, then she gives me a look like I somehow messed that up. They start to run for their room and I call after them to remember a small list of things they will need. They don't respond until Nola uses her mom voice, yelling,"girls, listen to Harry."
"Ok, mama," Mia yells back.
"Do I need to get them suitcases from my house?" I ask Nola.
"Probably, but fair warning- if you give them any of the Mickey Mouse luggage, you won't ever see it again."
"I'm sure Ale could get me another." I go to my house and realize that I have two smaller bags on my shelf that I almost never use because they are ridiculously impractical for a full-grown human. Maybe if I were going somewhere overnight, but then I bring my leather bag. They are the perfect size for the girls. The only problem is they are not the same. I head to Nola's, hoping she will give me some insight into who to give which luggage. "Who would you give which one to? I don't have two the same size in the same print."
"I'd just tell them which one is for who. No arguments that way."
I cautiously enter the room, knowing there is a very good chance that I am going to mess this up, but I take their mothers advice. "Lottie, here's a bag for you," I say, choosing the Mickey Mouse one for her. Then, I hand the other to Mia and they both seem happy. I sit on the floor as Nola tosses things from their closet into a pile next to each of the girls. I start to fold and help them pack and Nola tells me that she is going to pack Hattie. Before she leaves, we kiss, like always.
"Mama loves Harry," Mia coos.
"Yes I do," she says. She continues to walk down the hall to Hatties room and I whistle at her as she shakes her ass for me until turning into the room. I finish with the girls and bring them over to my room and put a suitcase together there, letting them haphazardly attempt to pack my items. It's making everything inside me cringe, but it can all be ironed, if need be, and they are so proud of their work. So, I close it and take a deep breath, carrying all three of our bags down the stairs carefully behind them.
We get everything from the front closet needed to play in the snow and start to play the game of Tetris that is packing the back of the Range Rover when Nola wants to bring the double stroller along with all our stuff for the girls. "I think that about does it," I say to the girls as I spy Nola carrying her bag down to me. Shit. I guess I forgot one.
"Got room for one more?" she ask as she clips Hattie's seat into its base. I stand and stare for a few minutes, rolling my bottom lip between my thumb and forefinger until a solution presents itself and I get everything in. I already know what we're going to listen to as I start the car and the thought makes me smile. Nola has been listening to Christmas music for a week straight now, so I am not surprised that is what she requests as we start the drive.
A few songs in, Mariah starts to sing, "I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need." I decide to join in as she sings, "I don't care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree." Then, I make a point to sing the line, "more than you will ever know," extra loud and gesture obnoxiously to,"make my wish come true. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU". All I want is her. I don't care how cliche it sounds.
After our jam session, the car falls silent as the girls fall asleep. For a moment, I think that Nola has joined them, but then I notice her head turn slightly as she looks out the passenger window. "It's so pretty," she says, still looking at the freshly fallen snow covering the landscape.
"I know. I'm so glad it snowed before you had to leave. It just doesn't feel like Christmas until the snow falls."
"Agreed," she says, then adds, "I don't think I could ever do Christmas in L.A. or somewhere that it didn't snow." My thoughts exactly.
"Me either. I've always come home for Christmas. Even when I was in the band, it was the one time a year we always had with our families." I say. I do have a limit with my family, though. I love them, but most of my adult life has been spent seeing them in very small doses. By the time we reach the New Year, I need some space, and my bones need to not feel constant cold from the temperatures in England at that time of year. "January, though. Then I'm done with the snow and I usually take off for somewhere sunny and warm."
Nola scoffs at that comment. "Yes, I've seen the yacht photos, Harry."
I scoff right back and defend myself. "It's not always on a yacht."
"You DO hear yourself, right? Like, do I really have to explain the privilege dripping from that comment?" she asks with a tinge of annoyance. No she doesn't. I have to remember that she grew up around this whereas I didn't know it existed until I was in the band. Sometimes I do need a little humbling. "That doesn't mean that I wouldn't love to spend a week on a yacht with you sometime," she says but then adds, "but I'm paying my own way. Scratch that, I'M paying for YOU." The idea that she can afford everything that I can (or at least I think she can from the houses she is looking at) is something that I have to get used to outside of our bubble, as well. She doesn't need me to provide for her, in fact she doesn't WANT me to provide for her, and that is something both refreshing and concerning and something we will definitely have to have an awkward conversation about if our lives merge as I hope they will.
Every Christmas, for the last five years, I have driven past Pinnacle on my way to mums. The drive never disappoints. Every season in this place offers something magical; something to explore or something to simply take in. Obviously, winter is no exception. If anything, winter here might just be my favorite time of year. As we pull into the narrow road that used to be the driveway to a large estate, Hattie begins to wake up. "I need to feed Hattie before we get all bundled up," Nola says as she picks her up and Mia and Lottie slowly wake up, taking in their surroundings with wonder.
After realizing how impatient the girls are growing (and I am growing, as well) I decide to just dive in and get them ready to go and play in the snow. I treat it like I did when I had to help more than one member of the band get ready for a show while far from 'show sober'. Pants on one, then pants on the other. Boots on one, then boots on the other. Once my charges are fully wrapped in snow gear, and I myself am ready, I ask Nola if we can have a head start on her and Hattie. "Nol, are you alright if we go and make some snow angels?" She says yes, but only as long as she can watch.
I think about how to explain it, ultimately just telling the girls to lay in the snow and I direct them how to move their arms and legs to make the angel prints. It takes a few tries before they figure out how make them and stand up and carefully walk away, as to not ruin the print their body leaves in the snow. Once they do, they run around making dozens of them while laughing as I sit and watch, noticing Nola emerging from the Rover with Hattie.
Nola and Hattie join us with the sleds and the girls shift gears immediately. "Mama!! Ride with me," Lottie yells as she settles in the front of the sled. I push Nola down and she seems to be trying to slow them down as they barrel down the not so steep, but rather long hill. Once they make it back up to the top, Mia settles in for her turn and Nola tells me to take her down.
I don't know how to sled with children. I normally sled with Mitch and Sarah or Gemma and Michal. Only occasionally do I sled with my nephew, and even then he is a daredevil. I'm afraid that Mia will be terrified halfway down and it's not like I can barrel roll us out of the ride at that point. You just have to make it to the bottom. It's BEST if you can just make it to the bottom, still on the sled. With all that in mind, I wrap Mia with my arms and legs around her as I gently push us off and she screams the whole way to the bottom. It isn't until we get to the bottom that I figure out that she was screaming because she liked it. "Harry that was FUUUUUNN!!!!" she squeals.
After a bunch of runs down the hill, our time is over at Pinnacle and we have to get on the road to mum's house so we can make it there before our dinner reservation. After stripping out of the wet snow clothes and giving everyone a snack, I end up calling the restaurant to tell them that we are going to be an hour later than planned, apologizing profusely. I hang up the phone and notice that the girls are entertained watching a movie. Hattie has a full belly and a clean diaper, so carcolepsy has hit and she is back to sleep, which means It's time for me to talk with Nola and ask her some of the questions I still have for her. I still don't understand exactly what her job is and how Helen and Albert are involved in it. I know Luke's parents aren't wealthy. "So, what exactly are you going to be doing at the vineyard, again? I know you said marketing, but isn't Albert in charge of things there?"
"He is the head Vigneron," Note to self: look up whatever she just said later, "but over the years he has taken on a lot of roles on the vineyard. The owners don't live on the property because they live ten miles away on the other vineyard where the actual winery is located. Albert manages the larger vineyard workers and ensures the crops are successful. Helen has always done more with the winery, though she never wanted more than a part-time job there. I helped them photograph their last few seasons of wine and marketed them locally. I also got them set up with a more modern web page that gave them more foot traffic to the winery." That still doesn't answer what her hours are or how much she works on a daily basis.
"So, you work for the winery? Or the vineyard?"
"Both, Harry. I just do what they need to make sure their product sells. I think originally it was an olive branch to get me a job that I could do after I had the girls, while they were sleeping or otherwise entertained. I don't want to do any more than I have in the past, but I also don't want things to fall apart when I spent so much time building a customer base." Seems like this is just one of those wait and see things. Hopefully, she doesn't have to be there all the time.
"So, if I were to ask you to come to say... England, or somewhere, for a week or two, that would be something that you can do?"
"Probably. When are you asking me to do this, Mr. Styles?"
"March or April? Like you mentioned. Before I start filming My Policeman. I only have a short break, and some of it is already slated for Tom and Tyler in the studio, but I want some of it to be with you, as well. Unfortunately, it would have to be in England because of the travel restrictions in my contract during filming. It's a pretty tight schedule for that film."
"I guess it will depend on what's happening with my house at that point, and if Helen and Albert are available to watch the girls. If I put them in school, I don't want to pull them out to fly to England every month. And it can't be the beginning of March. Hattie's birthday is March 2nd and I want to have a party at the Vineyard. It's a first birthday tradition."
"I should still be working in L.A. on Don't Worry Darling at that point, so I can help with the party and can come, if you would like me to." Please tell me you want to.
"Obviously I want you to be there." PHEW. "I already looked and you're not filming that day, or the next two after that." I love that she is looking forward to plan things, just as much as I am. My past has taught me to be skeptical, but I am really tying not to be. Not with Nola. We are both pulled from our conversation with Hope calling Nola and I'm so happy when she answers in front of me. I don't know why, but she didn't do that before and it makes me feel special.
----- Call from Hope -----
"Hey Hope, you're on speaker with me and Harry," Nola tells her immediately, I am sure to tone down what they would typically be talking about. Little does Nola know, I already know what Hope is about to ask her.
"Why hello there my favorite secret couple." I roll my eyes. We don't HAVE to be a secret- she just has to say the word. "What day are you coming to California?" Hope asks her.
"I leave here the 11th. I think the plan is to leave here around the girls bedtime, so hopefully they will sleep most of the way."
"So, if I were to work in Los Angeles the week before Christmas, I could hang out with you in the flesh?!" She asks and I see joy spread across my girlfriends face and my heart swells, knowing that Hope and I planned this a little over a month ago and now she knows that she doesn't have to be alone the first week back.
"I would love that!"
"I have to do an outdoor client meeting with three other people. The client is super germaphobic, so I'm guessing it will be testing each day and they are flying me in on a private jet." The super germaphobic client is me- HAHA.
"Wonderful! That makes me saying 'yes' to seeing you a lot easier."
I add, "you need to come back out after I get there."
"I'd love to, but I'm not sure work will bring me there. I might have to take a few days off and fly there just to visit you lovebirds. See you in your natural habitat."
"You saw us in England. That's more our natural habitat." Nola says and my heart swells again.
"Tell me again why you're leaving?" Hope asks.
"I'd like to ask the same thing," I say and she huffs, blowing the loose hair up off her face.
"You both know that our visas are up. And I need some time to organize my life back home before I can move to a different country indefinitely." Nola seems annoyed, then offers, "can we change the subject?"
"Sure. How is the house hunt going in Malibu?"
"Really good, actually. We've found six that I'm going to look at the week you are in L.A. Actually, you can go with me and see them, if you want to? I'd love another set of eyes on them."
"We've, as in the two of you have found houses? Together?" Hope clarifies and I smile, earning a smack on the bicep from Nola. Of course I rub it like I'm hurt and give her my best pout.
"I'm looking first, then Harry is going to help me make the final decision in January, unless I really love one before that."
I've turned down the street with bakery, where we do need to stop. I park and hop out of the car to grab the bread and pastries, greeting the ladies inside quickly and promising to come back with everyone tomorrow. When I get back to the car, Nola is just ending the call with Hope. "Listen, can we talk details for the week after we get back to London? We are almost to Harry's mom's house."
"Yeah. Of course. Have a good time and send me the listings for the houses you have on your list right now."
"Will do," she says as we turn down mum's street.
"By Hope," I yell in the background, happy that our plan worked.
----- End of Call -----
Nola is busy on her phone, probably sending Hope the listings, but I take her phone and turn her head to look out the window. "Darling, pay attention, or you're going to miss all the Christmas decorations. My mum's neighbors go all out." She gasps when she finally looks up.
"Wow. Do you decorate your house?" she asks and I answer honestly.
"Not usually like this, because it's just me, but maybe next year we can?"
"I'd love that. To spend Christmas in England sounds lovely." Fuck yes it does.
"It really does, doesn't it?"
~~~~~~~~~~
*** A/N: How do you feel about Hope plotting with Harry? :)