Don't Blame Me

By IvyTherapy

178K 5.2K 5.4K

~BOOK 1~ When Taylor fell in love, she always fell hard. The public opinions have criticized her on her short... More

Chapter 1. Strawberry Rhubarb Fizz
Chapter 2. Challenge Gladly Accepted
Chapter 3. Espresso Depresso
Chapter 4. Limes and Wine
Chapter 5. Lavender Duvet
Chapter 6. Daydreaming and I'm Thinking of You
Chapter 7. Never Tear Us Apart (Part 1)
Chapter 8. Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming
Chapter 9. Never Tear Us Apart (Part 2)
Chapter 10. Something Just Like This
Chapter 11. Jello Shots
Chapter 12. The Hangover Cure
Chapter 13. Promises, Promises
Chapter 14. Little Talks (Part 1)
Chapter 15. Little Talks (Part 2)
Chapter 16. It's Nice to Have a Friend
Chapter 17. Steel Poker in My Brain
Chapter 18. This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Chapter 19. Fun, Fun, Fun
Chapter 20. Brunch is for Gossip
Chapter 21. I Heard a Rumor...
Chapter 22. Hey, Brother!
Chapter 23. Welcome to Miami, Bienvenidos a Miami!
Chapter 24. Need For Speed
Chapter 25. 'Cause Baby, I Could Build A Castle
Chapter 26. I Got You Babe.
Chapter 27. Surprise Visit
Chapter 28. Love Me Again (Part 1)
Chapter 29. My Good Girl
Chapter 30. Love Me Again (Part 2)
Chapter 31. Knowing Me, Knowing You
Chapter 33. Baby, Just Say Yes
Chapter 34. Make A Wish
Chapter 35. Rolling Hills
Chapter 36. You Need To Calm Down (Part 1)
Chapter 37. You Need To Calm Down (Part 2)
Chapter 38. Home
Chapter 39. Seth Meyers and a Speakeasy
Chapter 40. Let's Talk About Love
Chapter 41. Ticket To Ride
Chapter 42. In The Dark of Night, By My Side
Chapter 43. What Becomes of the Brokenhearted (Part 1)
Chapter 44. What Becomes of the Brokenhearted (Part 2)
Chapter 45. Tainted Love
Chapter 46. Enjoy the Silence
Chapter 47. Breakthru
Chapter 48. Waiting For a Girl Like You (Part 1)
Chapter 49. Waiting For a Girl Like You (Part 2)
Chapter 50. It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over
BOOK 2 IS OUT!

Chapter 32. We Can Do This All Night

3.7K 91 71
By IvyTherapy

TAYLOR'S POV

After y/n and my first fight, these last couple of weeks have felt so different, but in a good way. Things feel so much more...real. Yes, mainly because I told her I love her, and she said it back. But also because she wholeheartedly opened up to me and didn't hold back, showing me exactly who she is, and for that, I love her even more. I'm not sure how that's even possible because I love her so much already, but my love for her really just keeps growing day by day.

Tonight, we're actually going to Selena's Fourth of July party, which is only supposed to be a small gathering of a few close friends. Kiara's going too and I think she might be bringing the football player she was talking about at dinner. Y/n hasn't met him, so this will be the first time either of us will see him.

I'm currently working on my calendar for next year as my girlfriend showers. I know, I know, that's pretty far ahead, but my team stays on an extremely tight schedule, and with everything being planned out, I really can't afford to fall behind. I am very excited about it though, and I know y/n will be too. Next year is a pretty big year for my career. Even though I'm on schedule to rerelease two more albums this year, I'm set to do a tour across America next year. If it goes well, which more than likely it will, I'll be set to do a world tour the following year. 

I'm not exactly sure how to bring it up to y/n because I know she's a huge fan of my music, but I don't want to freak her out by looking so far into the future with us. I honestly can see her in my life forever, but I want to make sure she's on the same page as me before I break that news to her. Tours are a really big deal and are extremely taxing on relationships. Trust me, I know. It'll definitely be a test for us, but I don't doubt we'll support each other as best we can. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about us.

Stop thinking so far ahead, Taylor. Enjoy now. Besides, you should trust her. You know she's got your back and you have hers.

"Have I ever told you that you have a really hot focus face" Y/n chuckles in the doorway.

"No. You should try it though...never know what could happen" I chuckle at her, closing my laptop to be done for the day.

"You have a really hot focus face" she flirts, making her way over to me and around the desk. I turn my chair a little so that I'm facing her. I take her hand in mine and pull her down gently so her lips crash into mine. She kisses me back harder and I do the same before attempting to pull her in my lap. She's hesitant at first as she puts her hand on the desk behind me to stabilize herself. I completely understand where she's coming from. The chair has wheels, so we can move if we're not careful.

"I got you, babygirl" I whisper softly to her, my lips only a little apart from hers before attaching mine to hers again.

She sets herself down on my lap and puts one hand on the armrest and the other behind my neck, clinging on to me tightly.

I softly lick her bottom lip and she opens her mouth a little more, meeting my tongue with hers. I moan into her mouth upon contact while I rub my hands up and down her thighs. I feel her hips slowly rock into mine and I work my fingers up to her hair, tugging it out of her ponytail.

"We have like...five minutes before we have to go" She whispers, breaking the kiss while her face is still close to mine

Smut Warning~~~~~

"I can make you cum in four," I whisper confidently to her, gripping her thigh a little tighter in my left hand while supporting her head with the other.

She rolls her eyes at me, but I'm quick to lift her up and lay her on the desk. She looks taken aback by my movement, but I try to not waste any time in getting her there.

"Permission to make you cum, babygirl?" I ask her playfully, earning a chuckle.

"Permission granted" She responds, clearly amused by my playfulness.

I kiss her lips hard before moving my way down, quickly unbuttoning her jeans and pulling them down with me. I take off her shoes and then slide her panties and jeans off her, throwing them in the chair beside me.

I lightly trail my hand over her thigh, separating her legs from each other, exposing her pussy to me. To my amusement, her pussy is already glistening. 

No surprise there, she's already wet for me. I know how much she's into me, but Jesus Christ, I love how I can see the effect I have on her. 

"You're already so wet for me, baby....." I whisper to her as I trail kisses on her thighs.

"And what are you gonna do about it......mommy..." she asks teasingly.

"Oh fuuckk, baby. You have no idea what that does to me..." I practically growl at her, feeling myself getting wet at her words.

I quickly bend down, sweeping my tongue between her folds, and collecting her fluids on my tongue before standing back up to kiss her. She immediately moans into me upon contact and quickly moves my hand to her clit to rub small circles into her. 

I hear her whimper for me, still adjusting to the sudden pleasure in her core. She holds onto my bicep, per usual, and grips me tightly while pulling me down to kiss her.

Me being me, I'm more than happy to oblige for my girlfriend, tracing her lips with my tongue and then dominating her own.

"Am I turning you on, baby? You like it when mommy takes care of you like this?" I ask her, sultry heavy on my voice.

"Mmhmm" she moans as her eyes roll to the back of her head and her grip on my arm squeezes me tighter.

"You look so pretty like this, baby....all spread out on your own desk for me...my body towering above yours as you hold me close with your leg around my body...." I whisper to her, trailing kisses along her neck.

"And you smell so fucking good, babygirl...sometimes I think you drive me wild on purpose..." I groan into her ear.

I suddenly sink my fingers inside her pussy, catching her off guard and resulting in her moaning loudly for me.

There's a little bit of resistance at first, her walls not fully relaxed for me just yet, so I pull out slightly before thrusting in again and again. I do this for a little bit until she takes me all the way, engulfing my fingers in her juices. 

"There you go baby.....just like that....mmm, yeah........oh, babygirl, you're taking mommy's fingers so well! I'm so proud of you baby!" I praise her as I pump my fingers in her soaking wet pussy for me. Her moans and whimpers are honestly turning me on so much more than I'd like to admit.

"Fuck, Taylor.....oh my god, you make me feel so good! Ugh!.....Yeah, just like that! Just like that, Taylor!" she moans, her voice sounding more eager than ever as it gets higher and higher.

"You're close aren't you, baby?.... Mmmm, look at you....my beautiful girl.....oh you're such a mess for mommy....you're a whimpering mess for mommy, aren't you?" I lightly tease her. She only moans more at my words.

"I'm so close, Taylor!.... Fuck, I'm gonna cum, Mommy!" she whines at me as pull her closer to the edge. I can feel her walls fluttering and clenching around my fingers the faster i pump them into her.

She's so close I can feel it.

"Mmm yeah? Are you gonna cum for mommy? Are you gonna cum for me, baby?..... Be my good girl and cum for me, baby!....be a good girl and cum on my fingers....cum on mommy's fingers, baby" I moan at her before kissing her lips harshly.

I feel her walls throb and pulse on my fingers but I end up suppressing her moans with my mouth. After she catches her breath, I quickly move my face to her pussy, pulling my fingers out of her too fast, making her flinch at my movement.

"You're okay, baby. Mommy just wants to taste you real quick before we go...." I say before gliding my tongue through her folds, pulling another loud moan from her.

"Mmmm....you taste so good, baby.....all mine." I moan into her, trailing my hands up her torso as I eat her out.

When she shudders into me, I'm sure to hold my position inside her, reaching up to squeeze her breast while my other hand holds her hand tightly so she can hold onto me.

"Look at me, baby" I demand. At my words, her eyes immediately open and she moans at the sight.

"Cum on my tongue, babygirl.......I want you to cum on mommy's tongue" I request.

Almost on command, her walls tighten around my tongue and she squeezes my hand, letting out the loudest moan, all while looking into my eyes. 

I give her a few moments before pulling myself up to kiss her.

"Not only did I make you cum in four minutes, I made you cum twice..." I tease her with a smug grin on my face.

"Oh shut up" she playfully rolls her eyes at me, chuckling at my choice of words, making me laugh with her.

"I love you" I whisper to her, pecking her lips.

"I love you too, Taylor," she says back, kissing my lips gently.

Smut over~~~~~

The party is fairly chill, just as I expected. Selena and Gigi are both here along with Sophie Turner. Y/n says Key and her new boyfriend are on their way and truth be told, I think we're all excited to meet him.

This is actually the first time Y/n's met Sophie and no surprise there, they get along nicely. Probably because they're both sarcastic as hell, but also because they're both really good people. I obviously try not to keep bad company.

"So, wait, what's his name again?" Selena asks, pouring herself some wine.

"Ashtyn Davis. He's a football player." Y/n says, leaning on the kitchen bar as I make us both a cocktail. I know y/n doesn't always like the taste of alcohol, so I'm happy to put my bartending skills to use. Not that I have very much experience, but it's always been something that seemed interesting to me.

"Oh, that's right! What team does he play for?"  She follows up.

"Umm the Jets, I believe." Y/n answers.

"Is he any good?" Sophie asks, snacking on some pretzels.

"You know, it's honestly funny that you guys think I watch football like that. I watch soccer, or 'football', as the rest of the world calls it." Y/n jokes, impersonating a British accent, making Sophie laugh.

"Wow! Impressive accent! Honestly, if you ever quit photography, I think you might have a career in acting" She jokes.

"Oh, I'm definitely not an actress!" Y/n laughs.

"Oh honey, we're all acting" Sophie says, making everyone laugh.

I try to brush off her comment about calling my girlfriend honey, but what can I say I can be the jealous type.

"So, what do we know about this Ashtyn guy? What's he like?" Gigi asks, moving ti stand next to Y/n.

"Well this is the first time I'm meeting him, so I'm just as in the dark as you guys," Y/n says, reaching for her drink that I slide over to her, giving me a quick thank you.

"He does have curly hair, so I trust him more than other guys." She continues, making us chuckle.

"Why do you trust curly-haired guys more?" I ask, curious to know my girlfriend's logic.

"I dunno, to be honest. Every curly-haired guy I've met has been a genuinely nice person compared to the guys I've met with straight hair," she explains, taking a sip of her drink.

We all think about her statement for a minute before nodding in agreement. I've never thought about that before, but I think she might be onto something.

We all take our drinks and head out to Selena's patio and lounge. As we catch each other up on our lives, Kiara and her boyfriend show up a little while later. Y/n and I look at each other excitedly, matching each other's eager looks to find out what he's really like.

"So everyone...this is Ashtyn. He's the guy I was telling you all about" Key introduces us to him. If she's nervous, she doesn't show it.

"Hi! I'm y/m/n! It's nice to meet you" My girlfriend says, getting up to introduce herself.

He's quick to shake her hand and offers her a warm smile.

"It's lovely to finally meet you, y/m/n! Kiara talks a lot about you! All good things of course!" he chuckles.

I sit up to shake his hand and introduce myself as well, continuing the chain of introductions around the group of us. After we greet each other, I pull y/n into my lap so we can lay together as we watch the firepit and talk with the group. What can I say, I love being close to my girlfriend. She brings me so much comfort because she's home to me.

"So y/m/n, Key tells me you like sports! I take it you like football then?" Ashtyn asks, taking a sip of his beer as he puts his arm around Kiara.

"I do like sports, but no, I don't watch football like that." Y/n chuckles.

"What! Why not?" He laughs.

"It's honestly really boring. I try to! I swear! I find a game that seems interesting. I sit down to watch the game, and then I just black out and I'm on TikTok and I don't know what happened." She explains, making all of us laugh.

"I'm like, why does ESPN have a segment called 'Hashtag Swiftok'?" She continues, making us laugh. It's actually been a thing between us that I'd be watching something on the TV and she'd pull out her phone and scroll on TikTok right next to me, and then all of a sudden, I hear my own voice and words that I've said and I'm just like 'what?'.

"Honestly, I'm with y/n on this one. American football makes no sense" Sophie laughs. I shoot her a look for calling my baby by her first name, I think it goes right over her head though because she continues.

"It's like, it pays to advertise, but no one's getting the message" she jokes, making y/n laugh with her.

"Okay, that analogy makes zero sense," Kiara says clearly confused. This time, I'm with Key on that one.

"It's like buying a clock from Afghanistan and it starts counting backwards" Y/n jokes, sending all of us into a fit of laughter.

We talk a while more and drink more, of course, and I can feel the effect of the alcohol on my body because of how eager I am for y/n. I'm noticing myself touching her a lot more than usual and the fact that I have her pretty much completely on top of me. I know touch isn't her love language, but it certainly is mine. I don't think y/n minds though because she hasn't said anything yet and continues to play with my fingers. I think Selena can pick up on my antics because she keeps eyeing me throughout the night.

"Uh oh....I think 'Drunk Taylor' is here to play" she jokes, making me giggle.

"What's wrong with 'Drunk Taylor?" Y/n laughs.

"She gets really horny. She'll want to fuck you, y/m/n." Gigi says bluntly, making the group laugh. My cheeks immediately turn red at being called out.

"Hey! I don't think I mind 'Drunk Taylor'!" Y/n jokes, making everyone laugh again.

Okay, definitely noted.

"Alright, here's a question...." Ashtyn begins, setting his drink next to him. Everyone gives him their full attention as we wait for him to speak.

"What is something you'd have to do to make you go....' Man, I lived'? Like, if you were to die tomorrow, what would you have wanted to do or accomplish in life?" he asks thoughtfully.

"Mine would probably win the Super Bowl. I think the journey to it would be one to remember, and actually winning the thing would be a career highlight."

Everyone hums and thinks about their response but Selena takes the lead.

"I think if I were to create an album or write a show or a movie that was 100% me, and then earn an award for it, I think then I'd feel like I accomplished all that I needed to accomplish in life," she answers, impressing us all with how thoughtful she is with her response.

"And here I was about to say go swimming with the Obamas..." Gigi says, making everyone laugh.

"I think hang gliding or skydiving in someplace cool like...I dunno...Switzerland would be cool! I don't think there's anything career-wise that'll make me feel like I lived. I think just experiencing the world and all that it has to offer would do it for me." Y/n says in my arms.

"Yeah, skydiving is a big no for me!" Ashtyn says, making Kiara nod and laugh in agreement.

"What about you, Taylor?" Gigi asks, taking a sip from her cup.

"Hmmm.......I don't think there's anything career-wise that I feel like I have to accomplish to feel like I lived." I respond, shrugging my shoulders, and taking another sip of my drink.

"Really? So nothing you could do would make you feel like you lived life to the fullest?" Kiara asks.

I think for a second before I respond.

"Marry Y/n" I admit, earning shocked expressions all around the group, including y/n herself.

How could I not say that? It's so obvious that I love her.

"So that was brave...." Sophie chuckles.

"Someone else please go, I'm getting secondhand embarrassment!" Gigi jokes, making the group laugh.

"I'm with y/n on experiencing the world to fulfill life's desires. I don't think that there's anything I haven't done that would make me feel accomplished." Key says.

The group continues to talk and I start to kiss y/n's shoulder delicately when Selena speaks up.

"You know what I just realized.....this is your first holiday together! Both of you!" She says excitedly, pointing at y/n and me and then Key and Ashtyn.

My heart skips a beat at that statement alone.

"You know, I think you're right!" I smile and turn to y/n. She's already beaming at me and I'm quick to lean down and kiss her lips.

"Technically, not really..." Kiara speaks up, taking a sip from her cup.

I turn my head to her in confusion.

"You two were dating on y/n's birthday-" She says before I interrupt her with an audible gasp.

"WHAT!?? WHEN WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY!? HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME WHEN YOUR BIRTHDAY IS!?" I freak out at her, making the group laugh at me.

"Well, she hates celebrating her birthday, it's always been a thing with her, but her excuse would probably be that you didn't ask." Key teases.

My attention shifts back to my lover who just has an amused expression on her face.

"When's your birthday?" I ask her quietly.

I can't believe she never told me when it was! I can't believe I never asked! Why doesn't she like celebrating her birthday?

"June 3rd" she responds nonchalantly.

"June 3rd? That was a month ago! Baby, you should have told me! We could've celebrated!" I say, more than annoyed that I didn't know.

"Well technically we did celebrate....that was actually the first time you went down on me...." She jokes, wriggling her eyebrows at me.

"OKAYYY ENOUGH OF THAT!!!" Gigi laughs, throwing an outdoor cushion at us.

So we had her birthday in Miami? That was the first time we ever had sex? Why didn't she tell me it was her birthday?

The night goes on and we all drink a little more before watching the fireworks. When Kiara and Ashtyn head back inside to get something else to drink, Y/n is quick to turn to me with a mischievous grin on her face.

"Hey, gorgeous" I grin at her.

"Hey..." she says quietly, a smirk still evident on her face.

"Heyyy" I giggle, no doubt that the alcohol is making me playful. My attention flickers between her lips and her beautiful y/e/c eyes.

She's so beautiful. The way her hair is blowing in the slight breeze and wafting her signature smell. The way her eyes shine with happiness when she looks at me-

"Do you want to form...an alliance...with me?" She asks coyly, making me laugh.

"Absolutely, I do!" I play in her banter, quoting lines from The Office.

"Wait what is the alliance?" I giggle.

"The alliance is to sus out Ashtyn.....I don't see any out-of-the-norm behavior and he seems too good to be true for Key" She chuckles.

"I'm down for this for this....spy behavior" I giggle moving my face close to hers and pecking her nose, making her giggle too.

As the fireworks pop off, Selena offers the group some homemade ice cream,  and Y/n and I are quick to jump up and down in excitement like children eager for sugar. When we get our bowls, we crash back down into the outdoor lounge chair all on top of each other, leaving hardly any room between us.

Well to be completely honest, I pulled y/n on top of me...

"Hmm, why does yours have more cookie dough than mine?" Y/n whines, making me chuckle.

"Baby, she made ours the same!" I laugh.

"Maybe she made yours with extra love...you know, 'cause you're Taylor Swift" She giggles, taking another bite of ice cream.

I laugh at her, "Baby, Selena loves you too"

"I love you too" She chuckles, the alcohol making her giggly.

"I love you more" I smile at her, kissing her cheek.

"Hey! You're getting ice cream all over me!" She laughs,  making me giggle.

"It was just one dot, babe! I'll clean it up" I defend, wiping her cheek with a napkin.

"Lemme try some of yours, I want more cookie dough" she demands, making me laugh.

"Since you asked so nicely" I giggle, handing her my bowl and watching her eat.

Fuck, she's so hot.....and the way she's licking that spoon...

"Can you eat me out like that?" I find myself asking before I can even process what I said.

"TAYLOR!!!" She laughs out loud, her face turning red.

"What? Can you?" I giggle playfully, twirling her gorgeous hair around my fingers.

"You know I can...that's my specialty" She smiles coyly at me.

"Mmm.....how about you prove it" I tease her, hoping she'd take the bait.

"Taylor...we can't. We're at Selena's place. Isn't that like.... messed up? On some level?" She weakly defends.

"But please baby?.... I need you" I whisper in her ear, biting the shell discretely.

"We're supposed to be sussing out Kiara's boyfriend...." she tries, but I shake my head at her.

"I am," I say, kissing her jaw and then her neck.

"How? Taylor, you're not even looking at him! You're watching me!" she laughs.

"Well, you're watching me too! That's how I know you're not watching him either!" I laugh, resting my hand on her thigh.

"Please, babygirl?.... I need you so bad....." I whisper back into her ear, holding her hand in mine and placing it on my thigh. I slowly and discretely move it up my dress so that her fingers rest on my core. I know she can feel how damp my panties are for her....hell, even I can feel it.

When she turns her head to look back at me, I see her bite her lip, trying so hard to hide her grin.

"Okay," she giggles at me, squeezing my hand.

It takes everything in me to not take her right here in front of everyone, so I quickly drag her inside and find the nearest room. When we get up too fast, she accidentally spills her wine into my dress, making me blush hard. She excuses us and rushes us inside trying to take us down the hall into the bathroom, but I pull her in the opposite direction. I know Selena has two spare bedrooms, so it shouldn't be hard to find any. However, with luck not on our side, we end up in Selena's bedroom on the first try, and Y/n's quick to call me out on it.

"Taylor, we can't fuck in here! This is her bedroom!" She whisper yells at me, making me laugh.

"Baby, I know that! Let's try the one across the hall" I giggle, quickly falling behind her.

Smut Warning~~~~~

When we enter the room, we find that it's not a bedroom, but a bathroom. Y/n tries to turn around and exit, but I'm quick to stop her.

"Baby, I don't care anymore...." I say almost breathless from how pent-up I am.

"Wait, why? Did you not-" she tries to ask but I cut her off.

"I'm too horny......" I say, slamming my lips into hers.

Oh my god, I've been waiting for this all night.

"Get on your knees" I demand, pushing her shoulders down and breaking our kiss.

She wastes no time dropping to the floor as I lean against the door. She slowly drags her hands up my legs, teasing me playfully as she lowers my panties to around my knees, and then around my ankles before taking them off.

"Stop teasing me, babygirl" I groan. Her body on mine is intoxicating.

"Sorry, Taylor....you're just so hot like this......so wet for me..." she smiles up at me.

Fuckkk....that pretty face. Ugh! Just take me already!

"Baby, please..." I moan out to her, holding her hair with my fingers.

"Mmm, are you begging me? The same woman who said I'll never see her beg is standing in front of me begging me to eat her out?" Y/n teases, running her hands up and down my thighs.

 "YES! YES! I'm begging you y/n! Just fuck me already! Please, baby! I need you!!" I moan loudly, clearly sexually frustrated. I hear y/n giggle before I feel her soft lips press against my thigh.

"Baby..." I warn her, pulling her hair toward my center.

As her head disappears under my dress, I feel her soft lips kiss my clit and then lick through my folds, making me moan out loud again. 

"You have to be quiet, Tay..... I don't want us to get caught." She chuckles.

She slowly glides her tongue around my center, making me moan more and more. Her other hand rubs circles around my clit faster and faster.

"Oh, baby!! Fuck, y/n...." I groan, pulling her hair tighter.

"Mmmm, you like that mommy? You taste so good, Taylor" she hums into me, and immediately at her words, I slam my hand on the counter for support and my fingers around her hair tighten as I flood her tongue with my juices. I shudder on top of her, pulling her face deeper into my core and moaning even more before I relax back against the door.

Y/n peaks her head back from under my dress and looks up at me beyond amused.

"Did you just-"

"Yes baby, I'm really turned on right now" I chuckle pulling her up to kiss me. I can taste myself on her lips and I try to not get even more into that idea.

Smut Over~~~~~

"Are you tired?" She asks softly, kissing the side of my neck and my collarbone.

"A little...." I admit honestly. She nods her head before cleaning up a bit, fixing my dress, and then leading us back outside. The group didn't seem to notice that we were gone, or at least I didn't think so until Kiara says something when she notices me behind y/n.

"Oh no! Drunk Taylor got y/n! DRUNK TAYLOR GOT Y/N!!" She jokes, making everyone laugh. I tried to hide my face in my lover's chest out of embarrassment, but it doesn't help that she's much shorter than I am.

"I think we're gonna head back home for the night. Tay's getting pretty tired..." Y/n chuckles, rubbing her hand on my back.

It's taking everything in me to not ask her to move in with me right now and make things more official. I know we call her place home, but I really want us to take that next step.

"Can't imagine why.... you look like you know how to wear her out" Sophie jokes to y/n, flashing a playful smile.

Is she flirting with my baby? In front of me?

I shoot her a scowl and I feel y/n's arm tighten around me.

No, Taylor, don't go there. She's your friend, she would never hit on your girlfriend. You're tipsy right now...don't read into that.

"Thank you both for coming!.... oh wait... that came out all wrong... Shit! I just did it again" Selena slips up, sending us into a circle of laughter.

"Goodnight, you all! Happy 4th!" I wave goodbye to them before clinging to Y/n's arm as we head back home.

Y/N'S POV

When we get back home, Taylor and I shower together, yes together, before crashing into bed. I play my 'For Everything' playlist because I just can't fall asleep without music or anything playing. Taylor moves closer to me, tugging my shirt close to her with her hands. We both giggle at her behavior before she leans down to kiss me.

"Hey," she whispers, a faint smile on her lips.

"Hey" I chuckle

"Heyyy" she giggles, playing with my hair.

"Did you ever see me perform?" She asks randomly, playing with the seam of my shirt.

"Umm...no, actually. I haven't. You'd always perform in Houston or Dallas. Those are bigger venues than in Austin, so I understand why, but those cities are hours away. I always had something going on so I couldn't make it....plus, tickets were craze expensive." I explain, almost unbothered because that was such a long time ago.

"I wish I met you sooner," she whispers to me, her voice sounding....sad?

"Same here" I offer her a reassuring smile.

"How come you didn't tell me about your birthday?" she asks me quietly.

"Oh um....I didn't think it was a big deal... I mean, we'd almost never celebrate my birthday, so it didn't matter to me." I shrug, kind of curious why she's bringing this up now.

She stares at me intently, probably hoping I'd expand on that. I should know better than to think she'd be fine with that short answer.

"When I was younger, every time I had to go to a new foster home or had court, I'd get a stuffed animal... it was a small one. Something portable so I can take it with me without causing too much fuss. Every time my birthday would roll around, the court would send me a stuffed animal no matter where I was.... Even after I did independent living, they'd still send them to me, all the way up until I turned 18 or aged out......For the longest time, it was actually the only gift I ever got....I think I liked it when I was little because I had nothing that was personal to me... but the older I got, the more embarrassing it was that I kept receiving them... I think mainly because I didn't have a home or family to give an actual gift to... " I explain awkwardly, avoiding her eyes because I'm certainly caught off guard by having to tell this story. Kiara knows that I don't really like my birthday, but we never fully talked about why.

"When Calum moved in with me, we'd celebrate my birthday by going to cool places he'd discover with his friends. Sometimes, we needed to be over 18 to enter or 21 to go to some of the places he took me. We were like a couple of hoodlums sneaking into places we weren't supposed to be, just so we could enjoy the day. It was always a chill low-key thing we did." I chuckle, thinking back on the memories we made together.

"The first real gift I got was from Kiara and her family when I turned 18. Technically, it was also a graduation gift because I graduated on my birthday.... every year, school would end on my birthday. It was kind of a cool thing 'cause it was like a gift to me that school was ending.....but when I turned 18, they gave me a record player. That's the one that's downstairs....and before you ask, yes, Madonna was the first record I ever got! It was her 1984 album 'Like A Virgin'" I explain as lightheartedly as I can even though the subject is really sore.

When I glance back into Taylor's eyes I see they're glistening with tears with a few trickling down her face.

"Hey! It's okay! I didn't tell you that to make you sad! It's just- it is what it is. It was a part of my life. That happened so long ago! I just don't really celebrate my birthday because of that... I mean, it was sad then, but I'm over it, honestly!" I try to cheer her up, but she just cries even more.

"Y/n, that's so sad" She whispers as she wraps her arms around me securely. Tears fall from her eyes non-stop as she rubs my back comfortingly.

"I'm sorry. That was a lot." I try to shrug it off, but she just squeezes her arms tighter around me.

"Baby, quit deflecting and just accept my love..." She whispers from above me, clearly calling me out.

Damn, okay boyfriend Taylor.

 I wrap my arms back around her holding her tight.

What is she doing to me? Wait, why am I getting sad? I don't normally feel this way when I talk about my birthday.... Usually, I don't care... Why are my eyes stinging? Wait, am I crying?!..... Why am I crying? Oh my god! Make the tears stop! WHY AM I CRYING SO HARD?

Before I know it, I'm completely sobbing in her arms as she holds me tight, no doubt there are still tears falling down her face.

"I just didn't think I mattered...." I cry into her chest, making her hold me even tighter.





Author's Note

What a rollercoaster of a chapter! Are y'all okay? What can I say, the walls are coming down! What will happen next? Keep reading to find out! As always, thank you so much for reading, commenting, and voting on my story! Y'all are the best! Stay groovy!

~~~~~~~~~~

Also, if you click on the story and it sometimes says failed to load even though I just put out the chapter, that means I unpublished the chapter. That happened this morning! The reason why is that Wattpad put the 'Save' and 'Publish' buttons right next to each other and I accidentally hit publish! So sorry about that! But for those fast automatic-update clickers, I love y'all for real! Anyway, thank you for understanding!

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