Onika Maraj.
28 Nov 2018
7:37 am
"Babe. You forgot to make a left– right!"
Beyoncé laughed, shaking her head, and swiftly made another U-turn. I scoffed whereas our kids cheered at her obnoxious swerve.
"Great. Now we're stuck in traffic."
"Relax. I know a couple shortcuts."
"Relax? Beyoncé, we're already running late there's no time to be figuring out mazes." I sassed.
"It'll be fine. We're almost there. Relax mama."
"Bebe I want chocolate ice cream!" Mya exclaimed.
"In the morning sweet pea? What ice cream shop is even open besides Donald's pl—" Beyoncé paused mid sentence as we rode by the shop.
"Please?"
"Yeah, let me just get—"
"No." I objected and glanced back at our scheming children. "It's too early in the morning and yall cannot be late for school. Nope. I'm not having it."
They groaned loudly. "Mommy!"
No other words left my mouth but the stern frighteningly expression written on my face was enough to keep their mouths shut with invisible glue.
"We'll get some after school." Bey uttered.
"Fine." Khalil muttered.
I cut my eyes at her which she reciprocated the same sad, mean look. I rolled my eyes hard and stared out the car window.
After couple more minutes of what seemed to be going in circles, we pulled up to the school. The bell rung and I was anxious to get them out.
No more tardiness.
"Come on, come on, no more lateness!"
"Khalil don't forget to grab your lunch bag."
"Mommy, my seatbelt stuck!" Mya whinged.
"How?– Khalil!" I shouted.
By the time I glanced over my shoulders, Khalil was racing up the path connecting to the entrance. His friends were waiting. I sighed before unlatching my seatbelt.
"Stop. I got it." Bey spoke calmly.
She then sprinted to the other side and helped Mya unbuckle her seatbelt. Little munchkin hurried inside as Giselle stayed behind, observing the crowd.
"Good morning Ms. Knowles."
I looked up from my phone and raised an eyebrow at the new teacher assistant. Brianna. For the last past couple days, the fantail been making it her business to speak to us, Beyoncé specifically.
Flaunting in skimpy clothing, absolute no shame . My patience were growing thin. Quite disrespectful to say the least.
"Morning."
"Mhm. You know there's a .. fundraiser .. coming up soon and I would need some help with a little bit of lifting, pushing in and out ... the classroom. Do you mind lending a hand?" Brianna asked.
"Yeah I don't mind—"
"If you ain't extending that invite for two then there's no need for her come!" I snapped, scowling fiercely at the little mutt.
"Um I-I was just saying that—"
"Yeah. Maybe another... time." Beyoncé suggested, flashing a small smile before returning to her side of the vehicle.
"Right. Good day Ms. Knowles!"
"Mrs!" I corrected.
She drew her lips back in a snarl and I returned the same expression, rolling my neck. Beyoncé pressed hard on the gas pedal fast.
"What shit you stepped in?" She laughed.
"Psh. Fuck that bitch!"
"Now why she gotta be all that? Come on man."
I frowned. "You must want her?"
"What? Nah man. Relax. Foreal."
"Not surprising. You always loved a good whore."
"Aye!" She heightened her firm tone, glancing at me with a serious face. "I'm not playing calm down and fix that attitude."
"You don't tell me what to do." I mumbled.
"Now."
I smacked my lips and looked away, folding my arm underneath my breast. From the corner of my eye, I could see her shaking her head.
The ride to the boutique was quiet mostly just radio playing at moderate-volume. Once she pulled up to the shop, the car was put in park.
"I still know my way to the door." I gibed.
"You're that mad?"
"I am not."
"Oh. Right. I'm wrong." Beyoncé deadpanned.
"Your words not mine."
I quickly felt her fingers trickling down my exposed thigh. Holding my laughter, I tried to push her hand away but it was no good use.
She kept prodding her hand everywhere and would switch spots when I slapped it. After while I gave in, chortling til she finished.
"Y-You play too much!"
"How else am I suppose to see my smile?"
"Leave me alone." I chuckled.
"Can't. Impossible." She replied.
Just then one of the fellow women's SUV pulled up in front of us and Gabrielle hopped out. Lauren trudged behind her, gazing at me.
"And why is that?"
"Because I'm stuck with you." Beyoncé proclaimed, latching her eyes to mine. "Now, put your madness aside and gimme a kiss."
I gave a sly smirk. "Mm. Let me think about it."
She quickly yanked my neck and attached our lips in a rough, passionate kiss. Her hand gripped my inner thigh. I bit her lip and pulled away.
"Come here." Bey purred.
"No!" I giggled. "You already know what's going to h–"
We heard a tap on the hood and sheered our focus on the hostile environment. Robyn waved, mischievously smiled then went to the coffee shop next door.
"We've been mated."
"I take it as you be bragging about this car?"
I sniggered. "Tuh! Everybody knows this your car."
"It's new though." She boasted. "An GT sixty three coupe to be exact. Fits my collection bae."
"How can I not forget."
She mushed my head. "Stop hating."
"Whatever. You need to be coping me a wagon."
Beyoncé laughed. "I don't know, I figured you fell in love with the fairytale rollout. Pick you up, drop you off, open your door, you know. Shit like that."
"That's cool for the honeymoon stages but we are past that baby okay? Plus I want to ride in style not be in a need for speed chase all the time."
"You got jokes." She chuckled.
"I know one or two." I joshed, slapping her arm repeatedly. "Forreal though babe! I want a pink wagon with white interior."
"I see what I can do."
I rolled my eyes hard enough to push a chuckle out her mouth. She sent a quick text on her phone then leaned up, resting hand on the wheel.
"Hmph. Need to clean this car." I quipped.
She smiled smugly. "What time you want me to get you mama? Seven? Maybe eight?"
"Seven is fine. I got to meet with a couple marketing counsels today so who knows... The kids get out early today but Khalil got practice at three. It ends at five."
"Aight."
"I can get Lauren to—"
"I got them." She responded.
"Don't you got pickup your shipment at—"
"Friday."
"Good. Good."
I hesitantly nodded my head then leaned in to plant a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you bae." I said fondly, earning a smile across her face.
"I love you. Don't work too hard."
"Girl I won't– you be safe. Be good."
Bey grinned. "And what will I get in return?"
"Hopefully not a knuckle sandwich." I retorted.
She guffawed over my witty comment and sealed our love with another kiss. We hugged then I exited out of the car, clasping my purse.
It didn't take so long for the whole neighborhood to hear hardcore rap music blaring through the speakers as she scurried away.
"Crap morning?"
Glancing to the right, I spotted Lani heading in my direction. She wore a nice smile on her face and held a bag of chips in her hand.
The harden expression plastered on my face swiftly vanished once I looked at my attire. hm. White crop top, leggings, and oversized shacket was doing my body just fine.
I cackled. "Yes. Something like that."
"Mm. I guess you can say you still pulled it off."
"Like I always do." I said matter-of-factly, puckering my lips and whipping my hair. "And! ... You just now arriving? Doors open at eight right?"
"Yeah. Kiana, in there arranging some things before opening up." She replied. "But.. look at you already knowing my schedule love."
"I-I do not. Just observant." I protested.
"Glad to see I can grasp your attention."
I waved her off. "Girl."
"Mmhm. So how was your trip?" Lani queried.
"Trip? What I–" I let out a soft giggle while facepalming myself. "Yes. It was great. I actually enjoyed myself relaxed a bit."
"That's good. Jhene .. uh told me that she seen you but you had your hands full with family and stuff so she left you all to it." Lani snickered.
"Yeah. We spoke too." I confirmed.
"Did you now? Well I must've didn't make the cut."
"Nah. I-I would've extended a invite but things were all over the place. It was spontaneous and kind of a last min gig. Had I known we were going to spend time in Hawaii, I would've emailed you."
She laughed. "I get it. So uh who picked up the tab you or maybe her?"
"And risk breaking a nail?" I bantered, coaxing more laughter out of her. "But she took care of it like any other given time. Why?"
I searched through her eyes for a reasonable refute and crossed my arms. Her eyes wandered over my body before a sigh pushed out her lips.
"No sweat ... Just feel like certain special moments should be thought out throughly."
"Moments– what are you talking about?"
My brows furrowed as I followed the lane where her eyes got trapped in. The ring. It was so hard not to notice but light enough to barely feel.
"Congratulations."
"Thank you! I'm actually throwing a bachelorette—"
"Yo!" Kiana called out.
"I got to go. Catch you later Nic?"
She cracked a small smile then jogged over to her establishment where Kiana stood. I waved politely and only received a mug.
"Well alright then girl."
"You gone get that girl fucked up." Robyn chuckled soon as I walked into the store.
"Girl. For what? Holding a conversation?"
"Right! I had a couple friends when I was dating uh Jill. No biggie." Candi shrugged.
I applauded. "See!"
"Didn't you tell us you fucked one of them?"
"What was his name? Josh right?" Gabrielle asked.
Candace scratch the back of her head while forcing a grin on her face. I roll my eyes. Wandering around, I noticed Lauren wasn't on the couch.
"Where did L–"
"Back room." Robyn spoke up.
I whispered a 'thank you' then headed to the storage room. Not surprising, Lauren was stacking the shelf with more clothes and accessories.
"You're at it again." I rejoiced.
She looked up from the table then continued sorting the pieces of clothing out. I approached her little by little, smiling warmly.
"If I didn't know any better, I'll say this storage room has became your safe heaven." I chuckled, nudging her arm. "You're avoiding .. something ... or maybe someone. Hmm?"
"I'm fine." Lauren quipped.
"Girl! What's going on with you? Seriously."
"I-I don't know where to begin."
I grinned. "Lucky for you, I can always keep up."
The room fell into a silent pit while we stacked and folded the shirts on the table. After while, she opened her mouth to speak.
"Pain."
"Hmph. I'm aware of the feeling."
"It's the ultimate price of loving someone so deeply, it's no way around it. You can give them everything and it won't amount to anything. T-They don't care to listen or hear you out. Just rather blast their sad speaker filled with ignorance."
"Sometimes it's not always about being heard but to be understood too." I stated.
"I-I just don't get why we can't get it together, make it work, you know. Why Rob can't just get rid of him and come home!" She mourned.
I sighed. "We've been through this already."
"I know." Lauren sniffled, grabbing another batch of tshirts and dumping them on the table. I helped her sort them out by color and sizes.
"To yearn for somebody that doesn't love you back is like waiting for a train at a bus stop. It's hopeless and fills you with sorrow."
"I-I get that ... just can't let go."
"Lauren."
"Our story seems so unfinished. It has to be cause I refuse to accept this epilogue. Nope. I–I ... our love used to not have complications .. It used to be easy like breathing. One. Two. Three."
"Oh. What changed?" I inquired.
She lightly chuckled. "College. I thought if we made it out of high school, move out, we'd have so much freedom to do us. Away from all the chaos and didn't have to deal with that bitch made father of hers. Then just maybe we could outlive our old lives. Yeah ... Yeah. But I was wrong. Just wrong."
"Wrong? About what?" I gave a toothless grin, hoping to cheer her up. "I mean sound like you two were head over heels."
"Yeah well you can't change a leopard spots or else you'll hurt yourself in the end. I-I had it all wrong trying to fix someone who was just too damaged."
"Hey." I spoke softly.
My fingers gripped her hand, squeezing it lightly as tears ran down her face. Lauren smiled weakly then stepped away.
"I-I'm going to grab rest of the bags out of the truck okay?" She murmured before heading out the back entrance.
Releasing a heavy sigh, I lifted my head up and saw Robyn standing at the door. Shit. She seemed very out of place and devastated.
"Listen to me—"
"I just got off the phone with uh Ashley Stewart and she agreed to lend some of Nike exclusive although it'll be mostly vintage." She cleared her throat.
I sighed in relief. "That's good. It's a start."
"Mhm. Yeah. Tara will also be here Thursday to do a thorough inspection."
"Right. Right. Thank you."
"Don't mention it." She responded then walked out of the room. "Charles is here!"
"Okay. I'll be out in a second." I yelled.
My phone pinged and I retrieved it from my purse, expecting to see Ma T or the kids school. Instead it was no other than my ancient father?
Robert: Are you busy?
Robert: We need to talk. It's urgent.
I took a moment to gather my thoughts while briefly closing my eyes. It never fails. I groaned lowly and locked my phone.
Nope. Not today.
-•-
7:10pm
I waved at the fellow neighbors and finished locking up the shop. When I stepped out more onto the filth concrete, distress washed over me.
"Come on. Not again Beyoncé." I grumbled.
A door slammed and Kehlani walked out, coming to a immediate stop when our eyes locked. She glanced around before chuckling lowly.
"Let me guess. Caught up in traffic?"
I faintly smiled. "Yeah. Something like that."
"Mm. I see. Well I could use another break and you could use a ride so let's improvise. Shop don't shut down until nine." She suggested.
"Ha! You don't mind driving with a stranger?"
"But we're not. A little bit past that."
"Hmm. And what might had brought you this bright conclusion? Huh?" I chuckled.
"You did." Kehlani sly smirked.
We held one another gaze for a split-second, laughter followed afterwards. Lani jammed her hands in her pockets and strolled down to me.
In instant, a matte coupe came swerving down the street blasting loud music. It quiet down a bit when the vehicle neared the curb.
Beyoncé jumped out the car, sliding over her hood wearing a toothless grin. I shook my head, scrunching my face up at her poor diligence.
Three times in a row.
"You're going to be good out here?"
"Y-Yeah. Yeah. Thank you anyway."
"Cool." Lani gibed.
She didn't waste no time exiting out of my personal space soon as Bey moved in close. The two glanced at each other but no words were exchanged.
"Hey baby."
"You're late." I pointed out.
"I know. I know. Got caught up in traffic."
"Yeah okay."
I passed her my Chanel bags and sauntered to the car. Beyoncé followed behind me, throwing the bags in backseat then rushed to the other side.
"How was your day?"
"Cool." I said dryly.
She nudged my arm which I ignored, reverting most of my attention on my phone, scrolling through social feed and recent messages.
Music pumping through the radio remained at a low volume, drowning in our background. It wasn't up til we came to a stop at a red light that I shared some light on her.
A fainted grin danced on her lips while staring ahead at the road. Collar-shorted white shirt. Brown casual suit trousers. Her favorably scent was more than enough to entice myself. Yet, I held my composure and just pretended to be uninterested.
Her phone rung and an incoming call from Malcolm popped up on the car stereo. She lifted an eyebrow, tapping accept reluctantly.
Sure enough, a noisy background thronged the late stereos. It went in and out before someone decided to speak up to the mic.
"Yo."
"Come outside nigga!" Malcolm laughed.
"Come outside! outside!" Shawn chanted.
"Hell yeah! Quit being pussy and let the dog out the cage nigga. It's super lit." Trex chimed in.
"Nah B. Y'all have this one." She chuckled.
"What? Come on."
"I can't man. I'm chilling with my girl for the night."
"Girl? Just ditch the broad—"
Beyoncé immediately pressed the red button just to end the call. I glanced at her, assuming she'll be mad but was greeted with a smile instead.
"Ma cooking pot-roast tonight so we might have to swing by the market. Ay, you know we should even get that peach drink this time babe."
I chortled. "You know you can still go out tonight."
"Huh? W-What?"
"Come on I know you haven't spent that much time with them since we got home. Go. I'm not going be that girl that keeps you hostage. You had a life way before I came along. Go on."
"You are my life though baby." Beyoncé professed.
I smiled brightly while my cheeks turned a dark and deep shade of pink. She placed her hand on my leg, rubbing it smoothly.
"Come on babe." I murmured.
"What I do? I haven't seen you all day and couldn't wait to spend time with you."
"What about your friends? I'm sure—"
"They'll be aight."
My head rested at the chip of her shoulder while we drove passed city light. Giselle looked down at me here and there, kissing my forehead.
-•-
8:16pm
An hour spent in the grocery store and we were on our last pit stop before home. I was craving so bad for fried plantains. John's was the spot.
"Watch your step." She warned while extending out her hand for me to grab. I stepped onto the curb an held onto it.
Together, we strolled inside, earning a couple uproars from a few familiar faces. John bolted out the kitchen, bags of potatoes in both of his hands.
"Hey mi bredren." He shrieked, ringing my ears with his jamaican accent. "It bin awhile since mi laas see yuh. Mi hair fall out."
"Please! I can spot a few strands."
Confusion dawned on his face while he touched all over his head full of dreads. Laughter erupted from my mouth, admiring his playfulness.
Him and Beyoncé dapped each other after sharing a polite gaze."Boss man!" John blurted, pulling her in for a half-hug.
"Let me have one—"
"Mi get a bunch cooking." He blurted.
I smiled kindly then wandered around the little shop, skimming through the items. Yet Beyoncé just went grabbing lots of snacks.
"You don't make no sense."
"I need some ... ooh! Bingo!"
She rushed down the aisle and picked up a big bag of hot cheetos and oreos. I moved alongside, watching her pull out different candies.
"We could've got those at the store."
"I know but uh Khalil just texted me about it not too long ago. Oh! Reeces." She responded.
I shook my head. "See! I told you he's not ready for a phone right now."
"Why? For asking for zuzu and wam wam?"
"No." I deadpanned. "For going behind my back to ask the diverting parent for snacks .. after I told him no beforehand."
"What's wrong with snacks?"
"There's plenty at home– that's not the point Giselle okay? ..When I tell them no, they run to you and you give in. It's guileful. Unreasonable."
She quirked an eyebrow and smirked slightly when her eyes landed on mine. I smacked my lips. It brought a cool atmosphere of silence.
"Fine. So I put a couple things back."
"All." I challenged.
"A few." Bey rebutted.
"Fine!"
She staggered over and hurled herself into my arms, kissing just below my ear. I laughed kindly, clasping her face to plant a big fat one on her lips.
"Good. Good. But the chips is to stay."
"Mmhm. Pick up some gummy worms."
Bey cackled. "Oh? Who's acting like a kid now?"
"Shut up. Wait until we get home and I'll show you how I grown I'm really am." I teased.
"Mmm. Sounds like a plan."
She wore a daring smug on her face while grabbing my ass with both hands. I leaned in, laughing and patting her chest.
"Orda up!" John called out.
"I guess that's us. I'll go get our– da fuck."
Beyoncé pushed me aside and rushed right to the front. I raised an eyebrow, rubbing my throat hastily as I turned around.
"You hanging out with a rat!" Bey seethed.
She continued mouthing off to the unknown stranger while Johnson stood in amusement. He didn't care to intervene, graceful for the tension.
I trudged up closer in an attempt to deescalate the situation but came to a sudden stop. Johnson and- there was HIM. Gerald h-he was alive!
In one nanosecond those esoteric stories absorbed my mind and pierced my soul. Immensely smashed to smaller pieces. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, blocking out all other sound. Our eyes met once and I-I I just stayed still as possible.
There were words yearning to fall out but I couldn't move nor speak. I just stood there for what seemed be for hours. Terror. It crippled every muscle of my body.
My breathing had became light as sweat trickled all the way down my fingers. Before you knew it, juices fell out my grasp, crashing onto the floor. Shattering glass was barely enough to yank me out of a sinking ship. Everyone turned their heads, quite disturbed by the spill.
"Please. I-I want to go." I pleaded.
Beyoncé bit down on her bottom lip then headed to the entrance with me behind her. I could sense eyes on us but I tuned out the cold hum.
Home is where I wanted to be.
Nothing else felt safe.
-•-
10:21pm
"Babe."
There was a light knock on the door and I rushed to cover myself underneath a blanket. Her soapy scent filled the air as she stepped in the room.
Only with a side glance, I could spot her, dressed in Ralph Lauren sleepwear, nearing my side of the bed and sitting at the edge.
"I'm sorry about tonight." She apologized.
Her hand rubbed over my butt, twitching everything that lived inside me. I tried to soothed my breathing as my mind slowly churned.
"I should've handled thing better and controlled my composure." Beyoncé explained while rubbing her knuckles. "It wasn't a good move."
"It's okay." I murmured.
"I just hate being wronged especially by other men I worked with. That man I was shouting at supplies me with good product. I don't know babe but ..."
No. No. Something within became so tangible and crept over me like an hungry beast. It rose the fine hairs on the back of my neck.
Though her lips moved, her words didn't grasp at my ear like any other time. Indebted. I weeped quietly until it went away t-then reality returned.
"Anywho, uh I'm sorry for going out on a limb and it won't happen again. W-We're trying so it's best I try to get better. For us y'know."
"No I-I get it. It's okay." I weakly smiled.
"You sure? You wouldn't ha ..." She paused, looking around the room. " ...ve any pots or pans in here to knock me upside my head?"
I chuckled. "Nah fool! Come on babe."
"So we're good?"
"Yes! Look I understand that you're trying and thats okay for now. We're good." I stated.
Bey sighed in relief. "Okay. Cool. Uh .. You want me maybe give you a massage or heat up your plate or I-I can even rub your feet."
"No. No. I'm alright."
"You sure?" She asked.
"Yes Beyoncé!" I giggled. "I-I'm fine babe, just tired that's all. Need some sleep."
"Alright. I got to finish helping Mya with her little school project. So I'll be in the cave if you ever need me. Cool?"
"Helping or doing?" I queried.
"No difference." Beyoncé shrugged, standing up to her feet and hovered over me. She kissed me softly whispering, "I love you."
"Love you too." I replied.
She stared at me briefly with a warm smile then left out the room. Everything quickly came back like big storm, pouring down arsenic rain.
No matter how many times I shook my head or turn over, He– those execrable memories wouldn't leave my mind. It replayed over and over.
My eyes swelled up while revisiting every dark stop in this road of life. Tears spilled. I felt so disoriented and light headed.
In this big world anyone could still feel so small just at a drop of a dime. To feel so powerless a-and vain was unbearable. Masked pain.
It'll never go away.
-•-
Beginning of the school year and we're already ready to clock out 😮💨 come on 2024 😩 Our apologies for the delay but our daily schedules has significantly changed. ☝🏾 Moving along, what are y'all overall outtakes of this chapter? Do y'all think Lauren and Robyn would make a good couple officially? Or are they better off apart? 🤔 It's easier to avoid temptation than to resist it. 🥴 How do y'all feel about Onika and Kehlani's freshly friendship? Is it genuine or eh facade? 👀 In far better terms, would Beyoncé approve of it? Why or why not? Forging ahead, sometimes our past can bleed through the bandages.☝🏾 Do y'all think Onika is strong enough to heal from hers? Will this situation be kept under wraps? Or will she confide in someone? How y'all think Queen will react if she were to find out? Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.✨ #StayTuned.
Thoughts?
Predictions?
Vote and Comment plz
Excuse any errors~Bre❤️