WHEN APOLLO FINISHED TELLING THE TALE, the sun was already setting on the mountainous land of Arcadia. A warm golden sheen covered the sharp edges of the gray rocks.
I yawned, failing to hide my tiredness. Apollo furrowed his brow and struck a half-hearted ending chord.
"Were you even listening?"
I nodded. His eyes ran skeptically over my fatigued face. They shone like blinding Suns, and his fluffy, voluminous blond hair made it seem as if an angelic golden halo was floating above his head. His hands were running over the smooth edges of Thamyris' cithara.
"It seems your mind is elsewhere", he concluded, pleased by his wit. "By that arrogant prick who dared to outsing me, perhaps? Or perhaps..."
His lips broke into a wide smile, and I noticed how sharp his fangs were. It made him look... kind of cute; it stood out among his godly, dreamy features sculpted to perfection.
"...you were thinking about your lover?"
I broke into cold sweat, my heart started racing, but my outwardly expression and voice were pure apathy.
"I don't have a lover."
I said it, and immediately regretted it. It felt so terribly wrong. So final. It was as if I had decided to throw away the last remains of my memories of Zephyros. It felt as if I was erasing him from my past, perhaps the sole few moments I experienced true happiness and peace.
Without thoughts of him, I knew, my mind was a desolate place.
Apollo was amused, pursing his lips. "With your looks, I quite doubt you don't have hordes of women waiting for a tender gaze or sweet word of yours."
I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "Women are not exactly objects of my desire."
Apollo's eyes widened to the size of plates. He froze in place and blinked at me a few times, his mouth slightly open.
I had never seen a god be so unsettled before. How come Zephyros didn't mind at all? Perhaps it was because he understood; we were both just two sides of the same coin. But Apollo... in his golden eyes, I saw a a sort of primal, infantile fear, as if I was going to jump at him any moment and smash my lips against his unwilling ones.
I gulped. A young god, an important god, an Olympian, was staring at me as if I was a monster. I quickly wondered, when he cold-bloodedly killed Thamyris a few hours ago, did he do it because he did it forcefully, without my consent, or because he was comitting the sin of touching another man?
I backed off a few steps, contemplating my chances. I was exhausted and depleted, and there was not many odds in my favor. I certainly couldn't outrun a god in this state. Apollo still looked as if made of stone, shocked.
He finally spoke, and my fear made my legs turn to wood; I could hardly run away. I trembled like a leaf on wind.
"My father says it's a perversion to love another man in a way that is not brotherly love."
I wanted to snicker so badly. Zeus was a hypocrite for saying that. Did everyone forget the whole Ganymede affair?
"It's not like I chose to be like this", I defended my cause. "It would have been much easier the other way."
We stared at each other for a few moments. Apollo didn't seem to have the ability to read my thoughts like Zephyros had. I just tried to convey my pain and fatigue the best I could.
"I... I think I understand", he said, and I breathed a sigh of relief. His youthful face looked like morning dawn amidst the dusk of the evening. "It's a bit like your family. You don't choose to be born with it, but you can choose what you do with it."
"More or less", I admitted.
"It's interesting that women don't have the same confliction", Apollo mused, tilting his head. "My twin Artemis has a whole following of girls by her side. They bathe together, hunt together, even sleep next to each other, and they are all just simply good friends."
Silence.
I didn't want to tell him that even I had heard some interesting tales about the extreme kinship of Artemis' hunters. How could Apollo be so oblivious?
He coughed to ease the awkwardness. "Anyways, we are in Delphi."
A few feet from us, a grand stone portal stood guard in front of huge, orderly woods. Amidst the tall trees, stone fountains ejected sparkly translucent waters, and a marble pathway snaked towards the greenery of the inner forest. It was truly a haven of peace.
Birds squeaked and squawked their evening serenades, accompanied by the steady droplet song of the fountains. A fresh smell of pine hung in the air.
Apollo grabbed me by the wrist, perhaps still doubtful if I was going to try running away. His grip was steely, cutting off my circulation. He led me deeper into the forest, stomping onto the marble path.
"Tommorrow at noon, you will meet my Pythia. Until then, you can sleep in one of the rooms in the temple."
The temple? A chill ran over my spine as I looked into his blank face. And then, I turned around, and saw we were standing in front of a manor that was the exact polar opposite of Apollo's appearance.
Gloomy gray stone walls arose from the dark earth, marbled with obsidian black cracks. Heavy navy curtains hung at the entrance. Around the tall columns, patches of poison ivy grew, wrapping themselves venomously around the granite, like green python snakes. A dizzying smell of incense and thyme was coming from within.
Apollo broke hold of my hand and pushed the curtains apart, watching me closely as I entered with unsure steps. The entrance hall was rimmed with amphoras and vases that depicted the Titanomachy: the birth of Zeus, Kronos eating his children, Zeus with his mother Rhea. Being a young god, Apollo certainly didn't have many stories to etch into ceramics.
Apollo led me down the dark, long corridor lit by the scarce light of a few torches. In the gloom, his whole being glew like a fireball.
"These gems are from the underground", he said, showing the onyx-like crystals sprouting from the walls. "Hades gifted them to me. Actually, he helped me design this whole temple! You can truly see the influence. I think he was very thankful I supported his side when Demeter wanted Persephone back. True love always wins, doesn't it?"
And what about us mortals, who have to endure cold, cropless winters because of it?
I swallowed back my response and let Apollo chatter, until we arrived to the guest room he had sought out for me. It was simply furnished, with a simple bed, and that was about it.
"Oh... I won't give you dinner, because facing Pythia is easier in a fasted state. You can feast after you meet her. I will prepare something."
I glanced at him incredulously, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I thought you were hoping I would die there."
He seemed a bit uneasy, and I suddenly understood that, by godly standards, he was probably even a year younger than me; he was just as awkward, ignorant and immature as I was.
"Not really", he said. "To be honest, I didn't meet many humans before you, and you are the first one I had blessed, a bit of an experiment. It's all very new to me. So, I would like to learn from you a bit, too. It was just an excuse to bring you here."
It seems that just about everything was an excuse to bring me here.
I didn't know what to say. This Apollo was completely different from the frightening, Muse-surrounded Apollo that shot down a man without hesitation. Which one was the true one? Which one was the imposter?
Apollo took a few steps back. "Good night."
He got out of the room without expecting an answer, and I heard his footsteps echo down the corridor.
I climbed into the bed. "Good night, Apollo", I said quietly, and the combination of those three words sounded surreal.
That night, I dreamt of Zephyros.