TONIS POV:
So yeah.. here we sat, on our little bench near the river where Cheryl and I used to spent our boring days talking and kissing.
A tear rolled down my face as I looked at her,
„Will I ever see you again?" I asked with a shaky voice.
For some reason, I couldn't accept that she needed to leave for the good, my heart was still in the place where me met daily in school.. sleeping over at each others houses on the weekends and guessing how we did on the exams.
Never did I think of the moment where our little forever would end.. the time where we couldn't go on walks, or stay up late. Kissing on random partys or our mid night deep talks in bed. I didn't think.. it would ever end.
But it did.
„I don't know.." Cheryl whispered back and thinned her lips, she was crying? I've never seen her cry before.
„do you think we will?"
I shrugged, „maybe you'll meet someone new.."
She looked at me and wiped my tears. She truly was crying.
„I'll be searching for you in everyone I meet, but my soul knows to which heart it belongs to.. I promise I won't."
„Don't promise that, you don't know." I looked down to her legs, „there will be one day where you wake up and I'm just the happy memory in your head."
I smiled and looked back up. My eyes were red and I couldn't really breathe though my sobs, but I knew this was the most beautiful moment we had.
She blinked a few times, tears escaping her eyes when she placed a soft kiss on my forehead and pulled me into a warm loving hug,
„If that is how it will be.. then you're not just a happy little memory. You'll be the best one."
I chuckled before breaking into more tears, „I love you so much Cheryl, I don't want us to end." i sobbed into her shoulder, „you can't leave!!"
„I have to, mi amor. But I'll come back.. trust me that's not the last day you'll see me. And even if you won't remember me, I'll come back. I'll call you." she kissed my head, „but you know we wouldn't make it through the distance."
I thought about her words while I cried more and more.
I couldn't accept it.
I couldn't accept she was actually leaving the country for years, leaving me alone here.
I couldn't possibly see that we won't be able to see each other tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow.
I didn't realise that „people are leaving for good" was an actual thing.
„I can't live without you. I won't be able to sleep, or eat.. or get up. Cheryl I can't do anything without you!!"
„You survived once, and you'll survive again.." she slowly caressed her nails through my hair, „I will come back."
„When?" I looked at her, „when will you come back? After College? When you probably have another girlfriend...? Cheryl it will be five years.. you'll be twenty - six and ill be in m twenty's too!"
She closed her eyes and looked down when she brought her hands to her face,
„Don't say that. Don't say we wont meet again!"
She cried painfully,
„I need to see you! Y- you changed me to the better. I never knew I could be at my best until I met you!" she stood up, „until I realised, youre the one that makes me being the best version of me! Im the best.. when I'm with you!!"
„I can't believe we're actually breaking up for good." I looked at her, „I don't wanna do this."
„I know.. but please remember that you're never alone. I'm always here to listen and talk to you for forever.. just call me.. or message me. I don't ever want you to wake up and feel like I'm gone, I'm away or that I left you here. I have to leave and all I want you is to still feel how much I love you."
„It's 11.15. you need to leave Cheryl." I looked into her eyes as she stood up. In this moment my heart shattered.
I got up too, and she hugged me,
„I love you, Toni."
„I love you too, Cheryl."
She unwrapped her arms and kissed my forehead before leaving.
I watched her walking away and I physically couldn't believe it.
I wanted to run after her and beg her to stay, but I couldn't.
She was looking down the whole time, not one glance back and when she almost reached the middle of her way, I turned away from her too.
As soon as I turn back around she'll be gone.
Gone somewhere where I won't be able to meet her.
But deep down I truly wished that when I opened my eyes again, she'd stand in front of me smiling down to me and kissing my forehead like she always did.
I wanted to open my eyes to see her being with me.. with me by our little special place.
But she wasn't.
When I opened my eyes, I saw the dark river.
I was alone.
Alone in the woods and stood up to leave.
I walked alone, crying and freezing through the woods until I reached the streets, where I saw Kai waiting in his car.
„What the hell do you want here?" I shouted, about to fall on my knees. I was so drained already.
„Toni." he walked towards me and I broke down to my knees.
„Kai." I cried, „she's gone."
„I know Toni." he then held me in his arms as I cried, „im here."
„For what?!" I shouted and pushed him away, „to tell me that I can now date you?!"
„No." he said, „I'm here for you. Not to be with you."
„Please just go." I said and he didn't leave his spot.
„I won't Toni. It's risky. You can't just walk home or wait for a bus. I'll take you home whatever it takes me." he said softly, „and if I have to sit here for the next hours.. I don't care."
I looked up to him, „Will she come back?"
„I'm sure you two will meet again."
„That's sounds like she's dying." I chuckled a little.
„You know Toni." he sat down in front of me, „people change. Sometimes to the better.. sometimes to the worse." he paused,
„You won't see Cheryl in the next weeks.. or months. Maybe in a year, Or two."
I hid my face in my arms.
„She will change.. you will change. We all will. And when you will see her again she probably won't be the Cheryl she is right now." he explained in a calm voice, „you know you and Cheryl had the same friends here.. the same jokes, the same facial expressions and the same laughter. But now you two will live a time without each other. New friends, new surroundings, new people.. so when you will see her again, she will laugh over something you don't think is funny. It's like going into the city where you've never been, but where she will be from now on. She will know where to go, she will know where she can hide or where a beautiful spot is. You wouldn't. You will go and slowly get to know the new surroundings. Until you need to leave again."
„Do you wanna tell me she'll be a different person?" I looked up.
„Im trying to tell you that you need to be okay with the fact that she may will be." he replied.
„Will she still love me?"
„Oh come on." he furrowed his face, „I've never seen Cheryl as happy as she is with you. She probably will forever love you."
„What if she's meets someone?"
„Then you have to accept that... it's not your decision, either is it hers. When she's falling then she's falling.. I'm sure she didn't plan to fall for you." he giggled and I chuckled along with him.
Then my phone received a message and I pulled it out of my pocket.
Cheryl ❤️
Get home safe, ok? Text me.
„It's Cheryl.. she says I should text her when I'm home safe."
„Do you wanna go?"
I shook my head, „I miss her Kai."
„Come here." he opened his arms, „I'll hug you like a brother, not like someone that likes you. I promise."
I let myself fall into his arms and he hold me, „don't people always connect books to lovers?" he questions chuckling, „you know.. if your book ended... open the new one."
„What if there no other?"
„Write one." he said, „you're having control over your life Toni."
„Can I visit her?? In like 6 months?" I looked up.
„Of course you can!!" he smiled, „yes.. that would be a perfect start."
„Can't we make it to the end? So it won't be as sad?" I asked and he nodded.
„No.." he smiled sadly and I gave him a little smile back.
„Why not?"
„We don't know if that's gonna happen.." he whispered, „we don't know what will happen."
„I love her kai."
Then I started raining.
„Let's get in the car." he stood up, „that's definitely a sign that she loves you too though."
„No." I cried on spot again, „she's gone."
„Don't say it like she's dead." he let out a little chuckle and picked me up, „she's far, but not gone."
„I hate college."
„I know you do. We all do."
He then opened the car door and placed me inside.
„Let's take you home." he sighted and closed the door.
So yeah, that's the end of this Forty chapter long book about the girl I loved.
Who knows where it will once lead us.
-FBK
Omg my heart breaks it just ended 😭💔
Thank y'all for all the support!! I love every single one of you!!
Maybe I'll get myself to write a second part of this book, where they meet again or so.. but I can't promise y'all that 😋
Hope the book was good enough, and my writing skills weren't toooo bad!! 😭 I also didn't overread because it took me long enough to write idc 😭😭
BYEEEEEEEEEEE🤓🤓