WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND ANXIETY
1914
A fucking mess is what Thomas Shelby caused, a huge fucking mess.
Carnage took over the factory town of Birmingham, mayhem was on every street and violence knocked on every door.
A single drop of blood started a war.
Enzo Changretta had been cut and left bedridden.
Eden made sure to get him home in a matter of time but as soon as she showed up with a battered and bloody Enzo the door was slammed on her face, leaving her guiltridden and lucid.
No one told her anything about how he was doing, no one except Dorris, but still even her information was limited and blunt. Eden didn't know what to do, her fears and insecurities about losing a dear friend taunted her, They returned each day along with the blistering sun. all day hovering above her as she worked and tried to get home safely amongst all the chaos. Taking off that bloody pendant left her feeling more vulnerable than ever, even though she didn't want to admit it aloud, she missed it, and now she was left alone and bare.
If she were to get hurt, she would welcome it, believing she was to blame for the drama between the families.
But the bad blood was getting too much for the families to handle, so the matriarchs called a meeting where they both agreed that the leaders were also present and by their sides.
Polly and Thomas.
Audrey and Luca.
Like water and oil, they didn't mix, but they sure had to agree to a truce.
"So we're in agreement," Polly spoke up after a long list of demands and compromises.
Tommy continued, "We're in agreement, we stay on our side of town and you stay on yours, no more blood will be spilt."
Luca's fist coiled under the table, nails slicing through flesh like the razors in the caps of the fucking blinders he would promise to end.
He didn't nod, instead, he muttered, "No more blood will be spilt."
Audrey pursed her lips, "If only my Enzo," her gaze flickered to the man she used to teach in school, who didn't seem the littlest bit of remorse much to her dismay and disappointment, "was a part of those terms fourteen days ago. Fortunately he can speak clearly, without blood spilling from his dear lips –" she sucked in a deep breath, preventing from any tears escaping her eyes, Luca drew his mother closer, kissing the top of her head, keeping his harsh gaze on the Shelby man, "we're in agreement."
Tommy left Polly's side and came up to the mother-son duo, they watched him with uncertainty.
Luca pulled away from his mother, meeting the man, standing toe-to-toe, but with Luca's height, he made sure to tower over him, even smirking when Tommy stared up.
Polly and Audrey exchanged somewhat of a nervous glance.
The men spat into their hands and shook, much to the disgust of Audrey.
The truce was sealed.
But that didn't stop Tommy's pride.
Taking out a cigarette, with his bandaged hand, crippled at the fact he didn't have Eden to light it for him, he took a drag as Luca and his mother began to leave the meeting place.
"You know..." Polly shot him a warning glance when the Changrettas halted their steps and turned to him, "She loves me," smoke escaped his lips, but they didn't fail to see the wickedness in his icy eyes, "She told me," he nodded to himself, withholding a hiss when his aunt grabbed his arm. "She...loves me."
Just when Luca went to storm over to Tommy, unaccepting of the news of his former love, his mother held him back, not wanting her son to walk into another one of the Shelby's traps.
Luca spat at his feet, glaring at the smirking man, whilst Audrey shook her head and took her oldest son away, leaving Polly to turn to her nephew in exhaustion.
"Throwin' rocks at glass houses Tommy, let's go before they throw some at ours," Polly demanded, taking his arm, "bloody fool."
"I guess I am for speakin' the truth ay?"
"You still think it's the truth, with how you've been actin'? Won't be the truth for long," After watching the smugness fall from his face, she dragged him along, "Now you're helpin' me prepare tonight's supper, no objections, it's the least you can do, causin' a war and almost givin' me a fuckin' heart attack and all."
—
"Keep writin' out the primary colours Finny, it'll help you," Eden instructed, taking out her third cigarette of the day, watching as he struggled to write and grew angry at his the words on the page, "I'm helpin' you, I'm not gonna give up until you can spell 'em, by the end of this month, you'll know how to spell all three."
Finn looked down at the paper he scribbled all over, "Does Isaiah know?"
"He knows two and so will you soon, two weeks until April y'know," Smoke escaped her lips as she spoke.
"I won't get it," he mumbled, feeling defeated.
Words on a page looked foreign to him, he knew what was English and what wasn't, but they jumbled together and worked against him, making his vision fight to put them back together.
"I said I'm helpin' you aren't I?" Eden said rhetorically, knowing he was behind, but she wouldn't give up. It was obvious he was having trouble with reading and writing, but he would get there.
"Ada told me you and Tommy are done," Finn didn't catch her tensing at the mention of his brother's name.
Sighing, she asked, "Did she now?"
"Tommy said it's a lie."
Eden withheld an eye-roll, "Course he did."
She was grateful at the sound of someone knocking at the door.
Her parents were out shopping for food for the week with Polly Grey, meaning she had to look after Finn. Ada was out with Martha, whilst the men were presumably at the betting shop.
"Wanna go and see who it is."
Happy to part with his spelling lesson he jumped from his seat and ran out of the room, much to her amusement.
Seconds passed, and Eden had some muffled talk at the door as she inhaled her cigarette.
"Finn! Who is it?" she asked, craning her neck to see who the approaching footsteps belonged to.
Her smile quickly faded when Finn returned with Tommy.
Abruptly standing up, she pointed at the door, "Get out."
"I've come to talk," Tommy took a step closer to her, eyes flickering to her bare neck, his stomach churned at the sight. It wasn't right.
"Did I stutter? Get out," she snapped.
Finn stood between them, looking back and forth in confusion, not understanding what was happening, but secretly enjoying the animosity since he would finally have a chance with Eden.
Tommy argued, "You denyin' me the right to retrieve my brother?"
"I'm not denying you anything, wait outside for Finn."
"Eden –"
"I still have that knife," she exclaimed, falsely smiling at him.
"What knife?" Finn asked, just to be ignored.
Swiping his tongue passed his cheek, Tommy cocked his head at her, stuck between wanting to argue or take her upstairs.
"Can't use it on me, there's a truce darlin'" Tommy countered, her face twisted up.
"Was I there? No, well the truce don't involve me," she said thoughtlessly.
It had everything to do with her.
He gave her a pointed look, "Your brain can be bigger than mine at times Eden, so don't."
"Get out," she repeated.
Tommy kneeled before his brother, "Finn, wait in the front room."
Finn frowned, "I'm learnin' my colours."
Eden weakly smiled at him, "Finny —"
She let out a pregnant sigh when Tommy pulled out a bag of pear drops for the boy whose face lit up at the treats, happily took them and left, slamming the door behind him.
Standing up straight Tommy took off his cap, tossing it on the kitchen table, watching as she discarded her cigarette – that he didn't light, - into a chipped ashtray, before reaching for another one and lighting it all on her own.
Tommy settled his hands on a chair, needing to stop himself from recoiling from the hurt in his chest.
Luckily his brother was in the other room, Finn's crush on the woman he loved wasn't a threat, but he couldn't have them in the same room for long.
"You were about to use that weapon on me," he stated, staring deeply into her eyes as she leaned against the counter. He didn't stop thinking about that moment, it played over in his mind like a record, a record he never wanted to listen to again. But he did, when he worked, drank or even thought up new plans for the future, it played loudly for him and him alone to listen to. "Weren't ya?"
She took another drag, noticing his bandage hand and scoffed, "You left me no choice."
"Oh there were many choices but I know...you made the right one," he admitted, but judging by the look on her face she wasn't buying it.
"Why you here Thomas? Wanna talk about how I save lives and you almost take 'em?" she retorted, making him snort.
"That's debatable love."
"How's that?"
"Heard a bigot was charged at the local hospital earlier this week, you know after the truce was settled. Apparently, this man refused to let you assist 'im 'cause of your skin..." her gaze hardened at his words, he noted and continued, "he died a few days later, did he succumb to his wounds? Or did you play devil's advocate?" she didn't respond, "not that I would judge you if you did."
He would applaud her, knowing how twisted it would be, but her frown only made him think more and more of all the times someone 'succumbed to their wounds', on her watch. Was it the truth or, was it on her? He would kill someone in the name of Eden Dawkins and wouldn't think twice about it, but the look on Eden's face, she wouldn't admit it like the idea was foreign to her, like playing God wasn't in her willhouse.
"Chronic traumatic encephalopathy," she spoke after moments passed, looking away from the shift in the tone of the room and his relentless gaze.
Tommy didn't understand, "What?"
"It's caused by repeated trauma to the head if you didn't know. It's a disease actually," she continued, only causing more confusion.
"Why are ya tellin' me this?"
Hitting off the ash, she took a step closer to him, "Because it's what Enzo could've ended up with. You hit him so many times that he could've had -- all because you thought he was... what did you say ' all over me.'" she mocked, "he fortunately only has a concussion, a busted lip and two black eyes, well I don't know personally, I was told by Dotty because the Changrettas won't let me see 'im." emotions thickened her tone of voice.
"The truce states you're not allowed near little Italy at least until everythin' blows over."
"Are you not listenin' to me?" she stressed, "I can't see my best friend because of you."
"He's alive right?"
"Christ Thomas," he cringed at how she said his name, "So what, your best friend gets taken from you and you try to do the same to me?"
Her words whipped him across the face, like the full effect of a slap.
"I wouldn't--"
"Because Thomas Shelby can't be alone in his sufferin' right? He can accuse people of atrocities and get away with it. As if I would dare to wish that Greta would die," her voice rose, causing him to rake his fingers through his hair.
"I know you wouldn't," he admitted, feeling the guilt gnaw away at him, just from her tone.
Jabbing the cigarette in his direction, she scowled, "But you said it to me, no, you yelled it in my face."
"I'm sorry."
Eden let out a bitter laugh, "No. I don't believe you."
Tommy licked his lips and debated his answer, "Don't blame you neither –"
Eden shook her head and began another rant, "Enzo has been speakin' to me. Radio silence from the kid and I don't blame him you know," Tommy looked down, "Dottie has been keepin' me in the loop. He could've died, Thomas! Is that what you want?"
His eyes narrowed, "You think that's what I want?"
Throwing her hand up, she replied, "I honestly haven't got a clue what you want. Never do anymore and that's fine, just leave me alone. Please."
Tommy scoffed, "That's not on the table."
"Fuck the table!"
Eden waited for him to grab his cap, but instead, he retrieved something from his trouser pocket, making her freeze when the black Madonna was placed on the table. His mother's necklace. The one she promised never to take off. Greta...she promised Greta she wouldn't and here it was.
Sucking in deep breathe, Tommy locked eyes with her again, "Now, I know you're angry at me, but Eden, this is yours –"
"Might I remind you that we broke up last week?" she interrupted.
"Since fuckin when?!" he yelled.
"Since fucking then," she yelled back.
Eden's brown eyes darted between him and the necklace, It took everything in her not to just put it back on, for her, for him and their peace of mind.
But he just seemed to cause far too much heartbreak for her to even pick it up.
"No."
She glanced up at him in confusion, "No?"
"No, we're not broken up. Sorry to tell you that we're still together," he said cooly.
"Was threatenin' you with a knife not clear enough for you or?..." she stubbed out the cigarette, but she already wanted another, and Tommy did too.
"It was a fight, I fucked up I know," he tried to reason.
"Do you? Because you're actin' like I want to be around you. Fuck off." she yelled, pointing at the door, but it had very little effect on Tommy.
The man blinked slowly at her, only driving her further up the wall.
Retrieving something else from his blazer pocket, Tommy slammed it down on the table, startling her when she saw a gift wrapped up. It was clear he didn't do the wrapping, it looked pristine.
"There."
"What is that?" She made no effort to put it up, just like the necklace.
He nodded to it, "Open it."
"No," but she did come closer, "Do you think this is an apology?"
"It's a start," For the first time, he looked away and stared at her hands, wishing she could reach over and let him trace what he wanted to say on them since his words weren't working or gifts.
Eden Dawkins was a stubborn woman... his woman or that's what he told himself.
She was tormenting him but not accepting his apology.
"Have you apologised to Enzo? My friend, you attacked for no reason."
"I had a reason," he muttered, getting flashes of how another man had his arms wrapped around her waist, making his grip on the chair tighten.
"No, you didn't trust me," she added, making him look up again.
Tommy caught himself counting her beauty spots, finding himself getting in lost in her beauty, fuck, he missed her.
"You know what you are to me and so does he," his words made her gulp and turn her head to the side.
"Everyone fuckin' knows," she mumbled.
He watched her as she tried blinking back her impending tears. He didn't mean to put her in this state, he could even see the screws loosening in her head. He didn't want her to be this way and he knew it meant he couldn't act in such a way again.
Eden prided herself on being emotional, very little set her off. It was good to be in touch with emotions and never understood why people were so against it and by people she meant men. When she was angry it showed, that she pinched her fingers or flesh when her anxiety got to her and cried when everything got too much, but as of late, cigarettes were all that kept her emotions composed. And composed is what she needed to be especially if she didn't want to risk losing her job.
Eden's sniffle pulled him from his thoughts, "Sometimes I just sit there and ask myself, why am I with 'im? He treats me good but then acts like I'm just this thing to calm 'im down, some object that he picks up and puts down when it suits 'im. And when I think, why do I stay, all I can say is, I dunno. The fuck does that say bout me?"
"You love me," he said, wanting nothing more than to pull her into his arms, but she wouldn't abide it.
Turning to face him, she couldn't help but admit, "I do."
"That's why you stay."
Eden began to pinch her fingers, "You love me."
"I do."
"Then why treat me like this?" she dared to ask, feeling tears pool in her eyes.
"I fucked up," he answered, but she wouldn't accept that.
"No, fuck that, answer the question, be real, no beating 'round the bush. I want an honest answer, do you think lovin' me is an excuse to treat me like dogshite?"
Waiting for an answer, she watched his eyes widen, seeing emotions flood them like a storm, but as soon as the waves came, they went their way as Tommy turned his head, moving to open his mouth, just to bite down on his tongue.
In Tommy's mind, he didn't want to say the wrong them.
But Eden took his silence as an answer.
The kitchen door opened and a hesitant Finn poked his head around it, wondering if all the commotion stopped.
"You done shoutin'?" he meekly asked and the couple immediately felt bad since he could hear everything.
Coming over to him, Eden took his hands in hers, "My darlin' Finn, I'm sorry, we were just –"
"--Playin' a game, who can shout the loudest," Tommy cut in.
Forcing out a chuckle, Eden admitted, "I won,"
"Don't sound like a good game," Finn mumbled, looking at his brother, who didn't seem himself.
"It's not," Tommy stated, staring remorsefully at Eden, "We shouldn't play it."
"Next time you're here, I'll get you some sweets to make it up to you," Eden promised.
"Okay," he grinned since he finished the bag he was given and took Tommy's hand, "we leavin'?"
"You are," Eden answered excitedly before he could, "I'll see ya later."
"Bye Edie."
Taking his cap off the table, Tommy turned to her and quietly whispered, "This ain't finished," he felt his pocket grow heavier, making him glance at the table to see that the pendant had vanished, drawing him to the conclusion she slipped it back into his possession.
Pretending to act smug, Eden retorted, "Just go back to ignorin' me, I preferred that way."
She didn't.
And Tommy knew it, "You don't."
Watching Finn gather his things and leave the room to get his shoes, she turned back to Tommy with teary eyes.
"You know... You make it hard to love you, Thomas Shelby."
It was then Tommy swallowed the harsh truth, that he didn't deserve her, not in the slightest, but that didn't mean he would just give up. He tried to hide the hurt he could feel taking over his face, but he couldn't.
"Edie..." he found himself saying her nickname, startling them both entirely, but slowly she came to and looked away, biting down on her bottom lip to prevent any more tears, tears that he would wipe away if she let him.
She waved Finn goodbye, just as he dragged his older brother away and out the door.
Her parents would be back soon.
Scanning the kitchen, she realised that she never returned the gift to Tommy.
She gave in to her curiosity and wiped away another stray tear before ripping open the wrapping paper.
It was a notebook.
Turning the first page she caught sight of his handwriting, it was neater than his brothers, better than some men in her opinion.
Your number one fan.
-T. Shelby
Eden broke down in tears.
"Fuckin' bastard."
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a/n:
i feel like to an extent all my ocs are emotional, they just show their emotions in different ways. i didn't realise until recently how emotional i am and it isn't a bad thing guys, i think that's why i write eden the way i do. she is and isn't in touch with her emotions, she can be very irrational yet patient.
also, imma leave whether or not eden's letting 'people succumb to their wounds' up for interpretation. do you believe she has it in her to do something like that?