Wednesday, September 13th
RILEY ANDERSON
After a lazy Sunday spent with Harry tangled in bed, I have been on cloud nine all week. Monday and Tuesday classes flew by and I even managed to fit in time for the gym, cleaning the apartment, and hanging with Autumn.
Autumn asked me all the details about my date with Harry and I had to find a way to make our insanely extraordinary date sound much more mundane and normal. I told Autumn about the lighthouse tour and showed her pictures.
Autumn pointed out how incredibly happy Harry looked in the photos, which partially shocked her because she said he has 'rbf' but clarified it's 'resting brood face'. We went on to gush about happy Harry being so cute with his dimples, teeth, and smile.
When it came time to talk about the jet, the racetrack, or the ending of the evening I made a mock story about how we went back to the frat house to play a racing video game and had some 'alone time' together because the lighthouse event was already so over the top.
Louis and the guys knew I was going to tell Autumn a lie and hopefully nothing could come back to bite me in the ass for this little white lie. Autumn literally didn't care about anything except wanting to know details about Harry and our night together once she realized that was the end of the date.
The first thing she did was hold up her hands and ask the size of Harry by continuing to open her hands further apart like she was asking about the size of a fish. I swatted her hands down and told her that we weren't going to discuss it. That didn't stop her from pointing out the love bites on my neck and how I was wearing his clothes when I came home Sunday late in the afternoon.
Harry and I didn't spend Sunday talking about more things like we said we would, instead we posted up in bed and watched movies while cuddling. Harry made sure to remind me just how hard cuddling is because of how consistently turned on I make him. The feeling was mutual, but I was a little sore from the day before. Instead I spent my focus on teaching Harry about the most important Rom-Coms from the 90's while he would bring us food or drinks anytime I asked.
The weekend wasn't the last time I saw him either. He waited for me outside my classes Monday and we hung out again. I woke up today and remember Wednesday meant self-defense learning tonight with the guys. My last class ends at five and Niall told me that he would pick me up since Autumn drove us to class together.
The weather was crappy for September and there was a storm that had been brewing all day. We were on hurricane watch from Tuesday to Friday this week, the weather reports said.
When I finally see Niall's new car pull into the lot I run as fast as I can from the building I was currently hiding in. Instantly my hand hits the handle once close enough and I throw open the door to fling my body inside. I was already soaked from the heavy downpour. "Fuckin' shit this weather is gnarly." I hear Niall remark while I try to situate myself and turn the knob of the heat up to dry myself.
Niall's poor fancy car already has a puddle forming on the passenger floor from my backpack and shoes. "It's been like this all day. Did you go to class at all?" Niall shakes his head and I have come to terms with understanding that the guys really aren't 'real students'. Well, I am starting to understand. It's a process. I didn't want to ask if the guys had a job this week, because that is the part I am still the most non-understanding of.
I'm trying, but it's hard to think about your bestfriend and boyfriend going out and murdering people or dealing with drug deals and shady situations. Also, I am using the term boyfriend to myself these days, and I love the way it sounds.
Harry. My boyfriend. I wish. Until he makes it official I am just going to live in my delusional little fantasy in my head that Harry Styles and I are dating and life is perfect.
Niall and I jam out while driving to the frat house where everyone else is probably already ready and waiting on me. I was just praying that while I ran through the rain my duffle bag didn't get completely soaked and the things inside hopefully were still dry.
Niall grabbed my duffle bag for me while I use my backpack as a makeshift umbrella to hide from the rain while we both sprint from the alleyway to the side door of the house. We warned Louis we were almost there and to unlock the door for us. Once inside we both slump to the ground and sigh in defeat over the fact the eight second run had us both soaked.
"Let's get changed and head to the basement. Harry's gonna' be pissy if we take too long." Niall shrugs and stands to offer me a hand. I'm pulled to my feet and left to occupy one of the main floor bathrooms to hurry and change before making my way to the basement.
I changed into the green and white adidas shorts plus matching sports bra I stuffed in my duffle bag, along with tossing a white hoodie and some work out sneakers on. With my hair being so flat and wet I was nervous to damage it by putting in a pony, so I opted for a braid while using a makeup wipe to clean off all the remnants of today's look.
"I'm heading down to the basement Ni. See you there!" I yell towards the staircase where he disappeared before tossing my duffle and backpack both near the staircase on a pile of towels that I assume Niall placed. Mental note to remind myself to take it all to Harry's room later.
I honestly should just ask Harry if I can use one of the lockers in the gym basement to store some extra workout clothes, gear, shoes, and all that junk just so I have less to bring back and forth while we are learning.
I pass through the kitchen and make my way to the basement where Harry is currently running on the treadmill, Liam is sitting on a bench checking his phone, and Louis is in the creepy room I now understand is the drug and gun storage room.
"No, 'hello Riley', 'hey thanks for coming', 'you are right on time', nothing?" I joking say while no one acknowledges me entering the room. Instead I notice that Louis yells hey from the next room and that he will be out soon, Liam gives me a small wave, and Harry does not notice me thanks to the headphones in his ears.
I saunter over to the treadmill and notice how Harry's back glistens with sweat. His back is the only place without a single tattoo but instead has dozens of muscles. The man is a Greek God pretending to be a human.
I tried to glance at what Harry was listening to as his phone rested in the cup holder of the treadmill. Of course, Harry is jamming out to some old school 80's rock while working out. Such a dad vibe. I will try to remember this to tease him about later.
For now I click the emergency stop button on the treadmill and Harry jolts forward as the treadmill begins to slow down. His eyes burst open and he almost yells out of frustration till he notices it was me who hit the button. His annoyance turns into a lopsided smile and he slows his pace to match the treadmill while grabbing a towel that he had over the screen to wipe his sweat away.
Harry's hair was in rows of braids today instead of a messy bun that he usually sports. He leans over the arm of the treadmill and plants a kiss right on my lips that ends much too quickly for my liking, "good evening beautiful, ready to learn?"
"Mhm." I nod and take pleasure in checking out Harry's shirtless body once again. His work out shorts were hanging low and I couldn't help but smile as the fern tattoos glistened. I'm sure if his shorts were shorter and I saw the tiger I would blush, mind alive with memories of grinding the ink all over again.
"Riley, come here." I hear Liam call and my thoughts go from dirty to focused while containing the redness erupting on my cheeks.
I approached Liam, who had apparently gotten off the phone. He had already started moving some of the furniture around to create a space on the floor where he was getting down to stretch. "Let's warm up with some stretches, then we can show you basics so you can take care of yourself. Louis is working so he might not be much help, but Niall, Harry, and I are going to show you what we know okay?" I nod while getting down on the floor myself.
Liam directs me with counts and shows me how to 'properly' stretch my legs, arms, back, and neck. He told me I need to make sure to incorporate stretching into my daily routine and my normal workout schedule because otherwise my muscles can get strained and damaged.
Harry doesn't join us for stretches, instead he goes upstairs and only reappears with Niall once we are done stretching. Harry outstretches his hand to give both Liam and I some water bottles.
"Let's start." Liam says as the final stretch ends and he helps me to my feet.
"Now the first step is to always remain calm." Harry tells me.
"Remain calm?" I question. Harry nods, "yes. It doesn't matter if the attacker is bigger than you, or stronger, or even faster."
Niall sets his own water bottle on the ground and finishes Harry's statement. "As long as you outsmart them, you will find a way. You might not win, and you might not even get out unscathed, but you can survive and that is what matters."
I rest my hands on my hips giving a disapproving look to them. "You know, you guys are kinda' shit at inspiring someone?" I say and each guy looks at each other with a 'we know' look. "So let's say, this guy attacks me right... he comes up from behind, body jacked like Jason Momoa and the intent to kill... as long as I remain calm, cool, and collected I will find a way to outsmart him and get away? Probably with most of my limbs still intact as a bonus." I was being pretty sarcastic but Liam instead just nods and continues explaining.
"Let's say that exact scenario then, Niall, come be Jason Momoa." Before I can make a snarky remark I feel a body come flush against my back and wrap their arms around my torso, pinning my arms to my sides and squeezing me in an uncomforting way. I knew this was Niall, but it still emanated fear in the pit of my stomach, memories of my past threatening to blind me with panic.
"How would you get out of this? Think logically. In the moment you will only have a few moments to process what is happening before he overtakes you. So think it through right now, and plan accordingly. We won't go easy on you just because you are learning." Harry tells me with a slight edge to his voice. I know he is doing this because he doesn't want anything to happen to me again, but knowing that they guys are going to go all out makes me a little nervous. This is just day one, I guess I expected a little bit of leniency but I was wrong.
I squirm for a moment to judge just how strong Niall is. Without a verbal response he tightens his grip on me. "My arms are stuck. I can't use them. I guess I could try and like throw my body weight back, to make us crash into the ground."
"Stupid idea. Next plan." I was annoyed when Harry shot down my idea with no explanation.
"Wait, why is it stupid? Explain." My eyebrows furrowed together and I know I am squinting and glaring partially due to the annoyance of not knowing but partially because I hated the position I was currently in.
"Because if you did that the guy could just throw you down on the ground and hurt you worse. You need to outsmart him Riley. Instead you could stand firm, bring one of your legs back like this," Harry reached for one of my legs to bring it slightly off the ground while bending at the knee, "and aim directly at his shin to knock him off balance while simultaneously throwing your head as hard backwards as you can in hopes of smashing his nose. Don't actually do that part to Niall though. But just so you know, it might be shocking to you as well, you're going to hurt when you slam into someone like that."
"Right. I kick, I headbutt, and then I hope I can get away?"
"Try it." Liam suggests.
I scoff. Did they not remember that this is Niall I am fighting. What if I hurt him? "Come on love, try and hurt me." Niall murmurs to me in my ear, breath warm against my skin.
Okay, he asked for this.
I bring my foot back and crash it again Niall's shin who falters for a moment giving me an opportunity. I wrap my own arms around Niall's and dig my nails into his skin eliciting a shrieking noise momentarily from him. When Niall tries to regain control of the situation I surprise him and everyone else by clamping down onto his wrist and grinding my teeth.
"BLOODY HELL!" Niall releases me, I know I probably didn't actually hurt him and instead took him by shock, but it worked.
I spin around and give a smile while putting my hands on my hips. "Sorry Ni, but look, it worked!" I jokingly skip a few steps away from him to prove my success in getting out of the 'captured' position.
Liam chuckles and Harry gives a small clap. Niall pretends to be sad while rubbing at the newly added bite marks that appeared along his skin. "I was not expecting you to turn into a vampire mate. That was a good one."
"You said to be smarter. I had to think about what you wouldn't expect." Instead of letting me revel in the success for too long they give each other some knowing looks that we are about to prepare for another scenario.
"Okay, let's try some more positions. We will switch partners so that you can mark up everyone and not just make me look like a Twilight extra here." Niall huffs while putting his hand out to show that someone else can take his spot.
Harry is next up. Before coming up to me he went over to the lockers to add a shirt apparently. He walks over and wraps one of his hands around my wrist to pin it against my back, hooking the other in a snaking motion around my neck. He was so close I could feel the heat from his body against me. "Are you okay baby?" he coos into my ear.
Harry knew this whole situation would be triggering for me and we did discuss it Monday lightly. After everything I went through with Luke I have been wanting to find a way to get over my PTSD and a way to defend myself, but I was nervous during any class I tried taking. With the guys they knew if I needed to pause and they understood. Harry even gave me a safe word to use if I truly needed it. He told me all I had to do was say it and the entire situation would dissolve.
It's almost hard to think that this man is the same man who called me a nobody, prayed for my downfall, and wouldn't give me the time of the day. Now he is the person that seems to care and protect me more than anyone has done before.
Liam walks in front of us to inspect how Harry was holding me, "what do you do now?" he asks while raising his brows, hoping I take the bait to knock Harry on his ass.
"Keep in mind, you don't know if this person has a gun or a knife they could pull out in one movement. It happens faster than you think." Harry tells me and all I can do is concentrate on the rise and fall of his chest that grazes against my back each time.
"You have my wrist, so I probably shouldn't attempt to use my hands because you could damage it right?" I ask the question and Niall gives me a grin while Liam nods. "What would you do if you were me, Ni?" I ask him.
Niall walks around Harry and I in the middle of the makeshift space to assess my question. He brings his hand up to lightly touch my shoulder opposite of the side Harry was holding my wrist. "Use momentum here. You can really throw him off if you do it right."
I try to think of what Niall was suggesting and take a guess. I bring my chest just slightly forward only to ram it back against Harry full force, causing us both to stumble backwards. Harry's grip was still tight and I used the stumbling motion to drive my elbow backwards into his ribs hoping he would falter and let me go.
I was wrong. Harry instead took the arm that was hooked around my neck to slide into a choke where his hand was tight against me before he kicked my feet out from under me and slammed my body to the ground still with a grip on me. If that wasn't the most alarming part, there was a split second where Harry dropped his hold on my wrist to instead grab the gun he had discreetly tucked in his waistband while putting on the shirt.
I laid on the ground trying to catch my breath from the sudden shift in power, as Harry's hand was wrapped across my throat and his other hand held a gun with the barrel pointed at my temple.
"You failed." Harry says with no emotion.
"Harry. You can't fucking pull a gun on her like that! This is practice!" Niall shouts which causes Louis to emerge from the other room. "Technically he did warn her," Louis begins, "he told her to be mindful of if the enemy had a weapon."
"Harry isn't an enemy. He's her fucking boyfriend. We didn't say we were using weapons. You're going to scare her." Niall was getting extremely worked up over Harry's teaching methods. Meanwhile I was still trying to control my breathing and calm down from the whole scenario.
Harry looks at me and notices the quick shift in my demeanor when I take a deep breath and my lips make an upward motion just barely. I didn't know why this appealed to me at the moment.
I'm Riley. Riley, the girl scared of violence always.
But somehow, Harry towering over me, holding a gun to my head, the cold of the barrel mixing with the heat from his hand on my neck was doing something to me. Something very interesting.
"I'm fine Niall." I finally say which surprises everyone but Harry. Harry knew exactly how I was feeling based on the lust that glazed over my eyes as he slowly unwrapped his hand and brushed the gun instead under my chin while leaning down to the floor to straddle me.
God damnit Harry, everyone is here, this is not the time for you to be making me feel this way.
"It's empty. So Riley, how would you get out of this one, because we aren't done yet." His tone was deep and his accent rolled his words out slowly with extra enunciation on my name. If the guys were not here I know I would be begging Harry to continue using that gun to trace down my body and make me feel more things I never knew I wanted to feel.
But not now. I need to focus. I glance at Harry on top of me in the mirrors along one of the walls. "I need to find your weak spot."
"Which is?" Liam asks.
"And don't say his balls. That's an easy target which yeah, it might work, but what if a girl attacked you. You need to think it through more than just that." Niall adds.
"Oi. If it were me," Louis walks over to inspect the situation, "I would really keep that gun in mind. He could easily shoot that off and it's game over. You'd be left to bleed out and die a slow death."
I take in everyone's tips but still cannot figure out what to do. "I don't know. What should I do?"
Liam shrugs while unscrewing the cap of his water. "You could try to humanize yourself if you wanna go that route. But that sucks and only works like half the time."
I wait another moment thinking someone would give me another solution. I realize no one is going to add a suggestion and instead decide my best bet here is banking on surprise and speed. I take a breath before hoping that my idea isn't the dumbest thing I have tried yet.
I quickly reach up and twist Harry's wrist entirely to the side which allows me to angle the gun fully away from my face before shoving my arm with all the force I could which surprises Harry . It worked. Harry thought I was going to reach for the gun but instead I allowed him to keep it in his hand and caused him to smack his own self in the face with the barrel before I sat up and pulled Harry's shirt from behind him up and over his head.
Once Harry was in complete shock the room erupts in laughter at the choices of my attack method. But I didn't let it end there.
With Harry blindsided to my attack, trying to not lose the gun, and his own shirt becoming a blindfold stunned him, I take the moment to push him backwards and wriggle one of my legs out to wrap around his waist and pull him to the side to be sandwiched between my thighs. I quickly attempt to bring myself on top of him before he can shove me off but I fumble and get tangled. We both end up laying on the ground for a moment.
I notice he lost the gun.
I wait for him to attempt to grab it and I bring my elbow up to bash downward on his outstretched hand that was almost holding the grip. Harry let out a gasp of shock and pain before he threw both hands up, "okay okay, I surrender. Good job!"
I untangle my legs and right away am hiked up to my feet by Niall and Liam who were congratulating me on a job well done while giving a literal pat on the back.
"You actually gave Harry a run for his money." Liam adds.
"I thought you were done for in that position but look at you go!" Niall shouts excitedly.
"Good job kid." Louis comes over while holding and counting a stack of bills nonchalantly.
Harry was still sprawled out on the ground and he beamed at me supportively despite the fact I just attacked the shit out of him. I bite my lip while teasing him, "you okay Harold or did you need me to go easier on you?"
Harry shakes his head with an eye roll slowly standing himself up. Harry always towers over me, but now it seemed less intimidating knowing that I might actually be able to kick his ass. I refuse to think Harry went easy on me and let me win.
"Okay, it's break time I think. I'm starved. Anyone down for some tacos?" Louis wipes his forehead, the basement was warm and with everyone moving around so much it felt even hotter.
Everyone agrees and Louis passes around his phone for us to all add food after we finally agree on a place.
Louis addresses me, "Riley, will you come help me with some things in here while the guys go clean up before food. You can use the bathroom down here to shower and all that once we are done."
He said 'in here' and I knew he meant that fucking room of terror. It makes me cautious. But I wasn't focused entirely on that, because instead my mind was flooded with the memories of what happened last time in the shower down here.
"I'll see you in a few," Harry leans down to give me a small peck on the cheek before tossing the towel over his shoulder and heading up the stairs with Niall and Liam.
Guess I'll help Louis, ugh.
Once I step into the small room I look around and it's exact the same as last time. Duffle bags line one side, but this time a few are open and there are bricks of weed and what I assume to be cocaine in or near them. The table in the middle of the room has stacks of cash across it with some post it notes attached to a few piles. There are two guns laying on the table along with a knife that's longer than my forearm.
I don't mean to swallow so aggressively but I do and it causes me to choke on my own spit. I let out a stifled cough noise that Louis raises a brow to. "Oh, uh, I swallowed my spit wrong. Almost choked. I'm fine. Do you ever do that? Like damn body, you can't behave normal and just swallow correctly and you make a fool of me. Ha, thanks for that."
"Riley, are you nervous?" Louis could pick up on my monologue and the anxious tone that was washing over me. I purse my lips before giving a curt nod.
"I just wanted to talk to you and show you some things. I talked with Liam and we decided you have some things you should purposely be kept in the dark about, for your own safety. But some things, you should be aware of, again, for safety. I assume you know that Autumn has no knowledge of any of this, and I would prefer to keep it that way." I nod again.
"Good, and thank you. I am glad you understand. Now, do you know how to use a gun?" Louis grabs one of the duffle bags to place on the table right onto the cash stacks he had been creating while we wrestled.
He unzips the black bag while I watch the situation unfold.
Surprisingly, I did know how to use a gun. My dad taught me with one of our 'dad-daughter days'. He always wanted me to learn random stuff so I was well rounded. Dad taught me how to change a tire, check my oil, fishing, shooting and loading a gun, lighting a grill, carving a turkey, how to tie a tie, and much more. Maybe dad wanted a son or maybe he thought I would become a badass, I don't know, but a lot of it has come in handy one way or another over the years.
I hadn't answered Louis but he was already laying out a few small pistols on the table that he pulled from the bag.
"I do. I know how to load and shoot actually." This piques Louis' interest and I know he is curious.
He clears his throat, trying to remain focused and not fixate on where I got my knowledge of guns from. "Have you ever used one against a living creature? Hunting an animal, self-defense, anything?" I was hoping I imagined the way Lou had said self-defense, and was not implying I used a gun to shoot or harm someone. Harry said that Niall knew, but I wasn't sure if Liam and Louis knew anything about my past and Luke.
There isn't anything to know really I am coming to realize. It was more just blown out of proportion by the news, and the real situation is much less.... insane?
I had another nightmare this week but after talking to Harry about things I felt differently. I realized I had been holding onto things so tightly because I thought everyone would blame me like they did back in Gainesville. However, these were new people, they listened to me, they understood, they asked questions. They were more worried about learning my side of the story before judging me.
Right now, this isn't the time for all that though. I shake my head no. "Liam thinks you should have some protection on you. I agreed."
My gaze travels to inspect the four guns laid out on the table. They ranged in size slightly, but all seemed about the same otherwise. Some were black and some were silver. I couldn't tell you a ton more about them beyond that. I felt inclined to ask the obvious. "How does Harry feel about it?"
"We have not approached this with him yet. But it's not about him. I brought you in here so you can decide without anyone's added input. Harry made a decision for you once already, keeping you in the dark about us and our lives. That turned into a mistake and we all saw it play out, very badly might I add. So now, Liam and I have discussed things, and we decided you can make your own choices about everything without Harry filtering through it first. I was going to show you and see how you felt with no one pressuring you, no one telling you yes or no, and no one trying to give you their input. It's your decision."
"I see. And these are my choices?" I jut my chin towards the four guns.
"These are some, yes. I can grab different ones if you'd prefer. But only if you are comfortable. There are a few other things to discuss though, after this." Louis had such a thick accent that some of his words always sounded entirely different, and it made me want to smile often. But right now, I was concentrating and barely noticing his tone and accent.
"I like this one." I picked up one of the guns to inspect. It was the third one he laid down and was small. I read the engraving on the side aloud, "Hellcat?"
Louis chuckles, "That's the type of gun. It's a Springfield Armory gun, it's called the Hellcat RDP. It stands for Rapid Defense Package. It's a good choice. Probably the best one of the bunch honestly. So this one is a nine millimeter, it's a micro-compact and can hold eleven rounds. The recoil is super light so you don't have to worry about that either."
Louis started explaining the details to me, but it went in one ear and out the other. I may have learned some with my dad, but this was more than my knowledge of the event by far. "How much is it? I honestly don't know if I can afford it. I mean, it seems kinda'.... Fancy?" I didn't know if fancy was the word but it sounded right in my head.
"You aren't paying for it Riley. We are wanting you to be safe. We will pay for that. If you didn't know how to use it, we were going to send you to shooting classes, or at least a day at the range to brush up on skills. We want to make sure you are safe and we want you to feel safe."
They were trying. I keep having to remind myself that they did find me that day. They looked. They were prepared to fight and get me back. They were worried.
"What else was there? You said there are other things we need to talk about, what else?" I changed the subject because I didn't want him to next pull out something even crazier, if I decline the gun. I needed to know what all Louis had in store to converse about in the drug den.
"We wanted to know if it is okay with you if we set up surveillance cameras around your apartment, and inside it. We obviously wouldn't put any in the bathroom. And if you want we can avoid other areas if you specifically need, but ideally we want everything covered. All we ask is that you maybe find a time to get Autumn out of the house, and we will do the rest."
I think about what he says and realize it is for the best based on what has happened despite the fact it would be stripping Autumn and I some of our privacy. What good was our privacy if we were being hunted down by people like Mick and Shark. At least having the guys be the one to watch over us was a better and safer option.
With Louis and Autumn dating, she doesn't realize, but she is also in a circumstance and I would rather be safe and know that she was taken care of as well. "I agree to that. No bathroom cameras. The apartment is fine, bedrooms, living room, all that. I suggest also maybe the hallway, where we park, and maybe the fire escape area. If that's all do-able." I didn't know if they were going to try and get permission for cameras, but I assumed not, so I figured I would give my own ideas of where I felt some extra caution could be added.
Louis nodded as I listed each place. "We planned all the same areas. Obviously you will still have your privacy as well. We aren't going to be consistently sitting around watching the cameras, we use them when needed. We also will add a notification alarm system to your apartment. We already planted a fake news story about a burglary that will happen tomorrow night at the building across from yours. That gives you a reason to see it on the news, then you can notify Autumn that you want the system for some extra security without it seeming random."
Damn these guys think of everything.
"Thank you." I add, because I did want him to know I was grateful for all the things they were doing to make sure we were safe.
"Lastly, Harry discussed the idea that you were potentially going to look for a job eventually. You are a college student, living on your own, and I am sure you want extra funds." Oh god no. I don't want to work for them. Please don't make me have this conversation. "Harry said he feels uncomfortable with you taking a job, because it would mean extra places we need to have surveillance and keep tabs on you."
I immediately answer, "I'm not going to join your cartel."
Louis chuckles while shaking his head and beginning to put the extra guns back in the duffle bag before zipping it up and tossing it back towards another pile on the floor. "We don't want that at all. We instead are paying you to... keep quiet I guess. Or to keep safe. If you stay safe and out of trouble, we are going to finance you. Think of it as an allowance."
I shudder at his words. "So Harry really is my sugar daddy now?" Louis is puzzled looking, because he didn't know I had joked with Harry about being my Sugar Daddy on our first date already, but I ignore it and continue rambling. "Oh god, you all are actually. Well and you, and Niall. Oh god and Liam. I have four sugar daddies? Are you the sugar fathers?" I smirk at my own joke.
"Are you done yet?" Louis was unamused with it. I nod. "So we added up all the funds from the jobs we have done while we have known you, because if you think about it, that is when we started risking your life. That was a little over $237,455. So we figured you can decide what you want to do with your money."
My eyes practically bulge out of my face and I have to clutch my heart 'cause I am sure it was about to beat right out of my chest.
I misheard him, right?
"Would you prefer a lump sum, spread out over a certain time, put in a fake account, stored here, or how would you like to handle your funds?" Louis was so calm while I was freaking out.
"Over two-hundred and thirty-thousand dollars?" I repeat while Louis slowly nods his head staring into my eyes. That's what all the piles of cash on the table were. I now notice the post notes were dates, locations, and names. Those are the jobs and this was the money from them. They are giving it to me. Of course Louis isn't alarmed at all, this is a normal amount of money for him, I remember how much money Harry said he had, and this is like change compared to that. "I don't need that much. I don't even know what to do with that kind of money."
"Pay for college. Grab a coffee daily. Hang out with friends. Go shopping. Do whatever you want, but stay safe. Let us protect you. That's the only catch." I swallowed the lump that was building in my throat. Somehow I always thought money falling into my lap would solve all my problems, but right now I am really stressed about it. "Can I think about this part? I want to just think about it. I am not saying no, but just let me consider it okay?"
"I understand. Thank you for hearing our thoughts. Also, I loved seeing you kick Harry's ass today. You might be the first person to give him a run for his money."
"Clearly." I say while raising my eyebrows and pointing the gun that was still in my hands down towards the cash. Louis and I both laugh at the gesture. "Oh yeah, you need this too." Louis turns around to open a drawer in the bookshelf wall. He hands me a few boxes of bullets.
A FEW boxes.
Sir. How much shooting do you think I am going to be doing?
I was about to ask, but Louis speaks up before me. His voice was lower this time, his sincerity coming through with each word slowly drawn out. "I'm really glad you gave Harry another chance. I've never seen him like this."
"Like what?"
Louis taps a finger on the table, eyes glued downward while it seems memories flash through his own mind. "I've seen him on benders, strung out, and addicted to anything and everything we could get our hands on since we were teens. But you, you got him on a different kind of addiction. You are one of the first consistencies in Harry's life and I think that's why he is so consumed by you."
Louis words hit me like a freight car right to the heart. It made sense, but it also hurt to hear. It's why Harry is the way he is, sometimes I forget that he is closed off for a reason.
"I guess that makes sense. He told me the other night I feel like home. That I was too good for him and he was afraid that he would never deserve me. That's crazy to me. Harry might be in all this shit, but he is such a wonderful person beyond that. It was hard to see at first, but now I know. He is caring, kind, thoughtful, undeniably smart, pensive, alluring, and so much more. It's hard to understand how he doesn't notice all this about himself. I know a normal person probably would see us and think we are moving too fast with how we fucked and then randomly fell so fast, but there is so much more to it. Harry makes me feel... different." I wasn't sure if what I was saying made sense to Louis because it barely made sense to me, but I was trying to articulate just how Harry made me feel.
Harry felt like high tide. He was powerful, overbearing, and one wrong turn gets you in over your head. High tide can be difficult and dangerous, which is how every moment is with Harry. But, high tide has another side to it. High tide can fill the sand banks or bring in rolling waves to give reef breaks and intensity for those willing to take the plunge and surf them. You just have to be confident and brave enough to get the experience. High tide is when the strong swimmers can easily drown. You think you can handle it, but once you realize that you can't it's too late and you're being pushed under the waves.
God I hope Harry doesn't leave me to drown.
I started to feel the weight of the conversations Louis and I are having mixed with the physical ache from self-defense class. I thank Louis one more time for the gun before heading out of the room and towards the bathroom. In my mind I was going to pull a Harry and discreetly hide the gun in the waistband of my shorts, but instead I see my duffle bag sitting in front of the bathroom door along with a folded up clean towel, a pair of Harry's sweats, and one of his shirts.
Harry won't let me drown. I trust him.