Painting always came as a welcome distraction for Rory, something she could do to pass the time and avoid the thoughts that rattled around inside her mind. Thoughts she didn't really want to think about as they weren't exactly welcome at that specific moment in time.
For example, how it had been a few weeks now since she and Otis reconciled and yet he still hadn't shown any indication that he wanted to move things forward, despite Rory dropping so many hints herself that she was ready for something more.
It was easy to get lost in the art world when she had her paintbrush in her hand, working away at whatever she'd come up with the moment the blank canvas sat in front of her. But when it came to this particular painting, the one for Otis himself, she found that she couldn't quite seem to fall into that headspace anymore.
It's not that Rory wasn't happy doing this particular painting, it was rather the opposite in that she was thrilled and still over the moon that he'd asked her personally. No, it was more like she was completely on edge about whether or not it would turn out as good as Otis expected it to. She was so nervous that she'd mess up, that she'd make his parents look weird or not at all like the picture he'd given her, which is why she couldn't allow herself to become distracted by the fantasy world she fell into when painting.
Rory needed to focus, needed to keep her mind sharp and centred on what was currently in front of her, what she was now calling the most important painting of her whole art career, which wasn't easy when she couldn't seem to get Otis out of her mind. She knew he'd would love it either way, that he would gush over it and compliment her talents until he was hoarse, but that didn't mean that Rory didn't want to make this painting the most perfect one she'd ever done.
"Okay..." Rory breathed out, talking to herself as she sat in the spare bedroom of her apartment, aka her art studio. She leaned back, taking in all the progress she'd made on Otis's painting. It looked decent, so far, she'd made a good bit of progress today working on the base layer, which to her was the most important part. "Okay, we're looking good... I hope."
Taking a breath, Rory set her brush in the murky glass of paint water, the one that actually had the words 'paint water' printed on the side as she often liked to drink whilst painting and the last thing she needed was to mix up her glasses... Again. She stretched her arms above her head, arching her back, which had begun to get stiff over how long she was sitting, as she glanced over to the clock on the wall.
"Oh shoot." Rory mumbled, her arms dropping as she began to clean up her supplies. She'd totally forgotten that she was having everyone over to her place tonight for a little fifty-one get together/party and now she'd spent so much time worrying over her painting, she barely had any time to get ready before they were all supposed to show up.
Rushing to clean up, Rory had just enough time left for a quick shower, to remove the paint she'd no doubt smudged on herself, and a quick change of clothes and touch up of her make-up before the first knock on her door had her grow a little nervous. She'd never had any of the guys bar Sylvie and Jimmy over to her place, so it's safe to say she was rather nervous to see what they'd think of the colourful space that was her home.
"Mouch, Herrmann." Rory greeted with a smile as she answered the door to the two men, both of whom had beers, snacks and whatever else you brought to a party in their hands, even though Rory had plenty. "Come on in." She stepped aside, allowing the two of them to enter the colour zone, as her apartment would be called from then on.
"Why am I not surprised to see your apartment looks like a paint chart?" Herrmann joked, setting the beer atop Rory's kitchen counter as she closed the front door, chuckling a little as she wouldn't have expected anything else from Herrmann.
"You know you could all do with a little more colour in your lives." She teased, leaning against the fridge door as they took off their coats, setting them over the breakfast bar stools.
"That's what we have you for." Herrmann replied, making Rory smile before the door knocked again.
"That'll be Otis and Cruz, we saw them pull in on our way up." Mouch pointed out, crouching down to greet Domino who was shaking with excitement over the new guests, her little tail wagging so furiously Rory was surprised she hadn't taken off.
Rory's stomach was riddled with even more nerves at the mention of Otis, the one person she hadn't stopped thinking about all day who was now outside her apartment waiting for her to open the door. She wouldn't lie and say this whole get together wasn't just so she could spend a bit more time with him as lately the ambulance calls had been hectic and she'd been too tired to go to Molly's most nights resulting in her missing him a lot, something Otis felt too as unknown to Rory he always glanced up when the door to Molly's opened as he was hoping she'd walk in and he'd get to see that smile she always had when she saw him behind the bar.
Otis was still psyching himself up to take that one step forward in their weird relationship by asking her on a date, which is why he felt the same amount of nerves in his stomach as Rory felt whilst he waited for her to open the door.
"How's my hair look?" Otis asked Cruz quietly, not caring how that might make him seem.
"Like it does all the time." Cruz replied, making Otis frown as he hadn't bothered to look over at him as unknown to Otis, he'd been driving Cruz crazy all day trying to pick out a shirt for this little party. Seriously, he had no idea Otis had so many shirts and he was pretty sure he'd now seen them all.
"You didn't even-" Otis was cut off when the apartment door opened, revealing Rory's smiling face behind it.
Otis couldn't help but gaze at her, his own smile widening as his eyes subtly drank all of her in. She looked especially pretty tonight, her hair lightly curled and flowing loosely across her shoulders, allowing for brief glimpses of her dangly, dice earrings. Her make-up seemed to match her outfit, which consisted of a pair of burnt orange shorts that paired nicely with the beige dungeons and dragons t-shirt that covered her torso, one that had Otis's heart beat fast as it was just another thing the two of them had in common.
Had Otis not already been madly in love with her then he definitely would have fallen the second she opened the door.
"Fellas." Rory greeted, smiling sweetly towards them, Otis mostly, as she stepped aside, allowing them to enter and ignoring the butterflies she started feeling when Otis's eyes lingered on her for a tad longer as he walked past her and into her home, the one he wasn't surprised was more colourful than anywhere he'd been before. "Make yourselves at home."
"Wow, this place is incredible." Cruz breathed out, setting his jacket aside as he stepped up towards the huge windows on the back wall, which allowed for a great view of the city below.
"Yeah, it's... It's a really nice place." Otis added quietly, his eyes continuously shifting between Rory and his surroundings as he was worried if he looked at her for too long then he might have kissed her.
"Thank you." Rory smiled, stepping further into her living room and subtly kicking some dog toys off to the side so no one tripped over them. "I've been here for almost a year now and I wouldn't change a single thing."
"I'm not surprised with a view like that." Cruz replied, his back to the room as he continued to stare out the window. "I think I can see the firehouse from up here."
Rory just chuckled softly in response, her eyes glancing towards Otis who was getting some puppy love from Domino, making Mouch jealous as she'd abandoned him to go and see her second favourite person. She was about to go and join him before the door knocked again, indicating some more new arrivals to the party, this time it being Capp and Tony who came armed with some pizzas and more beer.
It wasn't long before everyone had arrived and the party was in full swing. Low music drifted through the air, as did the quiet conversations of those attending, all of them spread out across the apartment. Rory was making her way through them all, checking to make sure they were having a good time and offering to refill drinks when she spotted Otis, standing alone at the side of the room, his eyes focused on the few record covers she had displayed on the wall.
Taking this as an opportunity to finally speak to him alone, Rory took a sip of her drink, needing as much courage as she could get, before she headed off to join him.
"Def Leppard... My very first vinyl record." She said, making Otis glance back at her as his smile began to rise. "Given to me by the guys at the roadhouse for my sixteenth birthday."
"I wouldn't have pictured you as a Def Leppard fan." Otis replied, turning a little more towards her as he passed his beer from one hand to the other.
"As I told Sylvie back when I first joined, I was raised by two dads... Def Leppard was practically my lullaby." Rory chuckled, setting her drink aside as she absently straightened the record, making sure it was sitting in the middle of the wooden stand it stood upon.
"You really are full of secrets aren't you?" Otis questioned, a little flirtily.
"Oh, you have no idea." Rory replied in an equal manner, making Otis huff out a breath in response before he took a long, much needed, swig of his beer. "Do you collect records?"
"Me? No, I usually just use the internet when I want to listen to music, or CD's sometimes." Otis replied, watching with curiosity as Rory knelt down and opened the cupboard beneath the record player, pulling out a blue crate full of more records.
"Ah, twenty-first century style I see." She chuckled briefly, setting the crate next to the player, her hand landing atop it. "Me? I like to keep it old school."
"That's a lot of records." Otis exhaled, unable to begin counting the vast amount of records that sat neatly in the crate.
"I got a lot of them second hand. Thrift stores and that... Actually I get a lot of stuff from thrift stores as it's where you seem to find all the cute, colourful stuff that I like to collect." Rory told him, lifting her hand to allow him to flick through her record collection, feeling her breath shake a little as he'd stepped close enough to her that their shoulders almost touched.
"Linkin Park... Led Zeppelin... AC/DC... I gotta say, I'm surprised at your music taste." Otis confessed, flicking past a few more records that included Nickleback, Aerosmith and Ozzy Osbourne.
"What did you expect? Disney music?" Rory questioned, folding her arms as she raised her eyebrow, watching as Otis seemed to tilt his head a little in agreement.
"Well now that you mention it." He drew out, laughing just a little which made her nudge him gently on the arm in mild offence.
"I find that offensive." She joked, taking a drink whilst shaking her head a little before Otis slowly pulled a record out from the crate, holding it up with an 'oh really' look painted on his cute face.
"The best of Disney classics?" He read aloud, making her grab the record from him and flusteredly put it back in the crate, all whilst blushing beneath her make-up. Only Otis could see the tip of her ears peeking out from between her hair, the redness of them speaking volume as to the embarrassment she tried to hide, something he couldn't help but chuckle at and find utterly adorable.
"That... Was a gift." She replied, her voice a little breathless, whether from the embarrassment or from the closeness of Otis to her, she didn't know. All she knew was that this moment between the two of them, a little fun with surprisingly no awkwardness, was exactly what she'd been hoping might happen tonight, and something the two of them were greatly appreciative of.
As the night, one of the best Rory had had in a long time, came to an end and she bid goodbye to the last of her guests, Sylvie who had stayed to go over a few last minute details for the marathon that was happening next shift, she leaned back against her front door, allowing a deep breath to leave her lips as she began to grow tired.
It had been a long night, a fun one of course and she'd gotten to spend more time with Otis too which was great, but it was long, and tiresome, and now Rory was ready to leave the cleaning up to the morning so she could simply climb into her pyjamas then crawl into her cosy bed instead.
Pushing off the front door, Rory was immediately pulled back towards it again when it knocked, her heart racing when she looked through the peephole and saw Otis standing on the other side, rocking back and forth on his heels. She couldn't help but think he looked anxious, which is why she was growing more so herself.
Taking a deep breath, Rory gripped the door handle, hesitating for a second before she opened it, not needing to force a smile on her tired face as she could never seem to stop smiling when Otis was around. Something he'd realised and simply relished in whenever it happened, like right now, when his heart skipped a beat over seeing her face again so soon.
"Otis?" Rory questioned, as casually as she could. She leaned against the door, waiting patiently for him to reply to her, something that was taking longer than it should have.
"I, uh, I think I left my jacket... Somewhere." He said with a nervous chuckle, the thought of being alone with her in her apartment had him start to sweat a little, especially when she opened the door further to allow him to step inside.
"Oh, I haven't seen it... But why don't you come in and we can look for it?" Rory suggested, spotting the way Otis's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed harshly, stepping into her now quiet apartment.
Neither of them said another word as they began to look around for Otis's forgotten jacket, which had Rory think back to the last time he'd left his jacket at someone's apartment. Amy's apartment. She couldn't help but feel her stomach twist a little, despite the two of them having broken up, but still, she didn't like to think about those days.
Shaking the thoughts from her head, Rory soon spotted the maroon jacket draped over the chair that sat in the corner of the living room, the one she liked to sit in sometimes to read as the window next to it provided the perfect light and when it was raining it made it all the more cosier. She grabbed hold of it, spinning round to face Otis who was checking the kitchen to see if it had ended up on the counter.
"Found it." She called towards him, holding it up a little for him to see. He nodded his head, rounding the breakfast bar towards her as she moved closer to him, the two of them almost bumping into each other in their haste to be near each other. "Oh, sorry." Rory chuckled, blushing a little as she glanced down at the ground before back up at him, her arm extending out a little as she held his jacket out for him to take.
As Otis's hand gripped around the top of the fabric, he couldn't help but feel a tingle up his spine when he felt the gentle brush of Rory's fingertips against his skin. It didn't help that she was gazing into his eyes either, her body so close to him that he could once again feel the heat radiate from it.
"T-Thanks." He stammered out, becoming a little flustered all of a sudden as his heart beat faster than ever before. He swallowed, his mouth and throat drier than a desert as his eyes never once left hers, unable to stop them occasionally flicking down to her lips as he itched to pull her in for a kiss. A long, overdue and desperately wanted kiss.
"You're welcome." Rory whispered, feeling almost breathless as she'd realised that Otis had yet to pull the coat back from her, and she had yet to let go of it. She could see the way his eyes kept glancing downwards and since she was wearing a pretty high neck t-shirt she knew the only place he could be looking was at her lips. And she wouldn't lie and say she didn't want him to kiss her right now, because she really, really did.
Leaning in ever so slightly, Rory's grip on his jacket finally released and her hand fell back to her side, allowing Otis's own arm to do the same. Only instead of his grip remaining on his jacket, it loosened and the maroon material quickly fell to the floor. His hand raised again, the back of his knuckles gently caressing the side of Rory's face, making her suck in a breath over finally getting to feel his touch against her skin and paired with the way he looked at her it was almost enough to have her weak at the knees.
Stepping forward and coming toe to toe with Otis, Rory leaned in, her eyes falling from his and onto his lips. She could feel his hand repositioning as it now cupped her face, pulling it gently forward to finally press her lips against his. Only, the second Otis felt said lips, the ones he'd brought towards him, start to move against his, he began to panic a little. He couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by guilt over what he'd done to her, which is why after only a few seconds of finally getting to know what her lips felt like against this, he quickly found himself pushing her away.
"I'm sorry." He breathed out, avoiding eye contact as he couldn't bring himself to look at her. Not when he knew she probably looked heartbroken again. But he couldn't help it, his chest was so incredibly tight, so heavy with regret and guilt that he simply couldn't allow himself to keep kissing her.
"Don't be." Rory whispered, stepping closer to him and raising her hand, only her fingers barely got to brush the side of his face before he backed away, looking down at the ground rather than at her. "I'm... I'm sorry... I- I thought you wanted this but I guess- I guess I misread the situation."
"No." Otis shook his head, not wanting her to feel like she was the one to blame. "No, I do... God, I want this. I just..." He sucked in a breath, finally bringing himself to look up at her, her face riddled with confusion and disappointment. "You deserve someone better than me, Rory. Someone who hasn't hurt you like I have."
"Brian..." Rory began, her breath hitching a little when Otis shook his head, not able to bring himself to hear what she might have to say, not when he already felt guilty enough. Instead he simply picked up his jacket and began to walk towards the front door, where he hesitated for just a second before glancing back over his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Rory." He whispered, having said that word to her so many times it was starting to lose all meaning. "I really, truly am." He added, before at last he turned his head forward and made for the door, which closed swiftly behind him leaving Rory alone once again.
A rather shaky breath left Otis's lips as he stood in the hallway, leaning his head against Rory's door. All he wanted to do was go back in there and pull her in for a proper kiss, to apologise once again for what he said. He didn't know why he did what he did. Didn't know why he said she deserved better than him when for the past few weeks he'd been trying to convince himself he was good for her, not the best but still good enough that he could give her the love she deserved.
The love she clearly wanted from him yet every time she showed him that he had to go and turn her down. God, what had he been thinking? Freaking out like that and potentially ruining a nice moment, one that could have led to so much more. Led to what the two of them so desperately wanted. He felt like such an idiot for allowing himself to get so overwhelmed with worries he hadn't even thought about since the day he apologised to her.
Otis hadn't thought one bit about his guilt or regret, at least not in a bad way. All he'd been doing these past few weeks was trying to make it up to her however he could, and he really thought he'd reached the point where he could finally live with what he'd done, as Rory was making it exceptionally clear that she truly forgave him and he didn't need to keep doing all the little things he was doing for her. Like cooking her breakfast some days or keeping her a spot on the couch on extra busy days when he knew she'd want some comfort during the small moments she had before the bells went off again.
He'd finally gotten to that point where he knew that he could be the man Rory deserves and yet he'd gone and turned her down, again. Breaking her heart for the umpteenth time since he met her. He was truly digging his own grave with each encounter he had with Rory and he knew it was only a matter of time before he was six feet under, drowning in dirt and starving of oxygen. Which is why, if he ever wanted to be with Rory, he needed to get his head on straight and ring out the self doubt he had in his mind otherwise he might never get the chance again.
Otis knew he had a little longer to go in fixing himself, turning himself fully into the guy Rory deserved, it's the reason he didn't go straight back into her apartment and confess his love to her. No, he needed a few more days, that's it. Just a few more and he knew he'd be ready. He had to be otherwise there was the risk, the worry, that Rory might decide she's done with him once and for all.
And it was for that reason, that fear he had over Rory's love turning to hate, that Otis decided that the day after the marathon, i.e. three days, was the day on which he'd finally tell Rory those three little words she'd been waiting so patiently to hear.
-
*sighs* i love angst
anyway, if you liked this chapter please don't forget to leave a vote? and maybe a comment? always appreciated
and i will see y'all soon for the next one as the countdown to the end begins!