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Y/N's POV, 1985
Nikki when I first met him was a pretty closed off person, he's always been guarded, always kept his true emotions hidden, it takes him a while to open up about himself and it took me months to get him to do that with me but once he did, he's never stopped.
I knew everything I could possibly want to know about both Nikki Sixx and Frank Feranna. His story was pretty heartbreaking and to know things about him nobody else knew was a privilege I took seriously.
Nik was my best friend and as of the last couple of months my boyfriend, we got together after just being fed up of not being together, we'd been unofficially together for a while so Nikki just decided to bite the bullet and we've been officially in a relationship ever since.
I met Nikki when he and the guys were re-recording their first album in 1981, I worked at the recording studio they were recording at and I just kinda got caught up in them after Vince tried hitting on me which lead me to meeting the other guys and of course that included Nikki.
We became friends with the band and seems as I was always up for a good time, as were they, we just gelled perfectly with one another, they eventually hired me to be part of their team so I could still hang out with them when they were on the road.
It had been a crazy few years and I still had days where I couldn't believe I was on this journey with them, yet here I was and I counted myself as so incredibly lucky being exactly where so many people could only wish they were.
The guys were on tour at the minute for their 'Theatre Of Pain' album, and had been for a could of months. This tour had been fun, however their was a difference I'd noticed, Vince wasn't hanging out with the other guys quite as much.
He felt wronged by them, shunned I think almost given they'd hardly been there for him this year after what happened with Razzle. I'd been hanging out with Vince more alone than I think I ever had because it felt wrong to go out with Tommy and Nikki and just leave Vince alone when that's all he is at the moment, he's almost always alone.
He's in the middle of a divorce with his wife and I know he doesn't like to be on his own but his ego refuses to allow him to admit that aloud but I saw it, so being a good friend I often turned down going out and babysitting Nik and Tom to having a few drinks with Vince instead or just hanging and talking with him in his hotel room.
Vin and I had always been friends but we'd definitely gotten closer as friends since the accident.
It was just before a show and this show was in Washington, well I say just before, there's about an hour, the guys finished getting ready about twenty minutes ago and that's when me and Vince left the dressing room and went to talk outside for a little while and Vince chose to have a smoke break while we were out there too.
We mainly spoke about the show and the tour in general though Vince did give me an update on how his divorce was going and a couple of other little things like that.
When the singer had finished his cigarette and we ran out of things to talk about, we decided to go back and join the others before anyone came looking for us.
We made our way back inside, and we were laughing over some story Vince was telling me from one of the first band rehearsals while we found our way back in the direction of the dressing rooms.
Just as Vinnie finished telling his tale and we made it back to where we needed to be, I picked up on a voice immediately, one which was distinctly Nikki's, then another one which wasn't familiar to me but it was definitely female.
Then we got into viewing range of what was going on, and who Nikki was talking too, or more arguing with it would seem, it was an older woman, a few inches shorter than Nikki with fair brown hair, I hadn't ever met Deana, but I knew her instantly, this was her.
Nikki had been afraid of coming here incase she'd somehow manage to find him, and evidently she had, how she'd gotten backstage though was a mystery to me right now, but it didn't matter how all that mattered is that she was here and Nikki clearly didn't want her to be.
Me and Vince just kinda stood and watched the interaction from a far, well the few moments we caught of it anyways because barely thirty seconds later Nikki seemed to just give up with her, I hadn't been able to hear exactly what was being said thus far, except now when the bassist raised his voice to tell her "Just fuck off and leave me alone! If you're still here by the time we go on stage you won't like the fucking consequences!"
Me and Vinnie looked at one another after the bassist stormed off into the dressing room slamming the door behind him and Vince said "You better go after him, I ain't doing it, he'd rip me to shreds. But I'll go find someone to remove her, sound fair?"
Vince knew who she was too, it was fairly obvious, who else would it be other than Nikki's mom? And Vin might not know as much as me about Nikki's past but he knew enough to know Nikki didn't like surprise visits from his mother "Yeah, thanks, Vinnie." I replied smiling at my friend.
The blonde smiles back and nods, walking off down the corridor towards Deana, walking straight past her while I approached her and went into the room Nikki had escaped into, a room she was clearly debating about entering.
"Don't you dare go in there." I said sharply as I got up next to her.
Deana looked at me startled then looked kinda pissed off "And who are you to tell me what to do? I have every right, Nikki is my son."
"So now he's your son? He wasn't when he needed you most was he." I snapped.
"I won't be spoken too like this, who do you think you are to talk to me like that?!" Deana exclaimed angrily.
"I'm Nikki's girlfriend, and I know all the shit you did to him, so fuck you. He doesn't want to see you, he made that clear which means you can either leave now by your own accord or get dragged out by management and security, your choice."
With that, I had nothing else to say to her and wanted to hear her say nothing else either and just walked into the dressing room Nik has retreated into, slamming the door in her face and then locking it, in case she didn't heed my advice and decides to try and come in anyways.
The second the door was closed, I looked around the room to locate Nikki and saw he was sat at the vanity table staring blankly at it "Nikki?" I wondered softly, walking up beside him "Are you alright?"
Nikki immediately looked up at me and shook his head "Not really."
"So... that was Deana"
"Yeah." He sighed "I knew she'd turn up... I just knew it. I knew she wouldn't be able to resist. How much did you see?"
"The last thirty seconds or so, Vince went to get Doc or someone to remove her, whoever he finds first I guess. Did she tell you why she was here?"
"To 'talk'." He said using his fingers as quotation marks "And at first she did, but I knew a 'but' was coming eventually and when it did, I wasn't even going to let her start, that's when it turned into an argument. She doesn't see what my problem is, I don't know if she genuinely thinks she did nothing wrong to me or what but she ruined me and she doesn't even accept it or acknowledge what she did. She expects us to be normal, for me to give her everything she wants when she's done shit to deserve it, I'm not here for her just to use to pay off her debts or pay for her to go travelling around, if she wants exotic dick she should work and get the money herself. I'm not her bank account."
"No, you're not." I agreed, sliding my arms around the man from behind, meeting his eyes in the mirror in front of us.
"Am I the asshole here?" Nikki wondered, telling me in the way he was looking at me that he wanted the truth.
"No... she put you through hell... you owe her nothing, you've always deserved better than what she's been able to give you. She never tells you what you need to hear, she never shows she cares so why should you? If she wanted a good relationship with you she should have been a mother shouldn't she? She wasn't so don't make yourself feel like you're in the wrong. Don't think about her okay?"
"Because that's easy to do." He said sarcastically.
"I know but don't let her ruin your day, today's been a pretty good day thus far."
"Has it?"
"Yeah."
"Given you've spent most of today talking with Vince, I'd say different. At least when he's been talking with you he becomes a little less of a bitch to the rest of us."
"You know why he's a bitch to you right? He thinks you don't give a shit about him, he just needs someone to vent too sometimes, he wants to talk to you and the other guys about it but he thinks you don't wanna hear it. You guys have a serious lack of communication skills."
"He should just say something then."
"You should ask him how he is, it's not on him to get you to ask that, that's on you. Even if it's once, it's just to know you give a damn."
"I'll ask him later then... what we're you even talking about?"
"When?"
"Just now."
"The show, the tour... how his divorce is going, which isn't that great but Beth isn't being a bitch about it which is good, I'm glad their on amicable terms... I don't think it'd do Vinnie any favours if his life was made anymore messy."
"Hmm... yeah... Beth's pretty cool though. He's had his vent session for the day though, right? I get you to myself for the rest of the day, don't I?"
"As far as I know, if you want me to be with you I'm around."
"It's kinda law we stay in each other's general vicinity. It was important when we were just friends but now we're together, it's a necessity. Spending more time with another man than me is just insulting really." Nikki smirked turning his face towards me, breaking our eye contact in the mirror, as he steals a kiss from me.
"I love you Nikki... I love you so much." I murmured softly into his ear.
"I love you too."
"I was thinking of going to get dinner after the show, just me and you, I'm sure Tommy'll try and tag along but I'll have to turn him down, we haven't had dinner together at a restaurant since before the tour started, I think it'll be nice, don't you?"
"I'd never say no to dinner with you baby but I agree, Tommy is definitely not invited. We should just not tell him cause knowing him he's stalk us or something, then pop up at our table."
The comment made Nikki chuckle "It sounds like something Tommy would do honestly. What do we tell him then?"
"We can just disappear, and wait until he's distracted then just run away. It doesn't take much to distract him."
"I look forward to our stealth escape." Nikki joked, but I did notice the slight reserved attitude he'd had this entire conversation.
He wanted to withdraw into himself, I knew that, but he wouldn't close himself off from me, it was something he wasn't allowed to do "Are you sure you're okay?" I found myself asking.
He was silent for a moment but nods "Yeah, I'm good..."
"That wasn't all that convincing."
"I bet it wasn't... I am okay, I just hate seeing her... especially when she just shows up without warning... I still don't know how she got back here, she never said... I wouldn't be surprised if Doc got involved and just didn't tell me. He likes interfering in things which are none of his business."
"Ask him then yell at him accordingly if he did. In the mean time, you could do with hurrying up with whatever it is you have left to do before you go out, where are Tommy and Mick?"
"Doc wanted them for something, pulled them outta here just before Deana appeared. I'll do what I have left to do, and I'll go out there and meet up with the others but I need you to er-... just check that she's not still out there."
I smiled "Alright." Kissing the man's cheek softly "By the look of you, the thing you've still got to do is some makeup to finish, better start getting to that. Doc'll be coming to check you're done any minute, and I'm sure the other guys probably need to do some finishing touches too."
"Doc always feels the need to check up on us, we're not totally incapable. We can just about manage getting dressed without assistance."
I laugh as I backed away from Nikki to go back towards the dressing room door "That's debatable sometimes you need help getting dressed, depends how much you've all had to drink beforehand."
"Most of the time we're good though."
"Yeah." I hummed unlocking the door and opening it, replying as I did "But most of the time might be pushing it a little too."
As Nikki presumably rolled his eyes at what I'd said, I peaked my head around the door to make sure Deana was nowhere to be found, and she wasn't but I did see Vince, Mick, Tommy and Doc a few feet down the corridor.
Vince coincidentally glanced in my direction as I looked over and smiled lopsidedly and addressed me which gets everyone else's attention too "Everything good?"
"It depends, is it safe out here?" I say looking between the blonde and Doc.
"All danger has been removed from the premises." Vince confirmed sending a subtle glare to Doc, giving me the impression that Vin has found out it was probably Doc who invited her here "Are we alright to go inside? I've got to finish up my beauty routine."
"You look beautiful already, Vinnie."
"Why thank you but you can never look too good." The frontman flaunts as he comes over and makes his way into the dressing room.
Tommy and Mick followed close behind, I then go back to Nikki and sit on the table as he finished up his make up once he did, he looked at me for my verdict "What do you think?"
"You look beautiful, Nik."
"Hey! I thought I was meant to be beautiful?" Vince whines as he was only a few feet away, running a hairbrush through his hair.
"You are, you're both allowed to be beautiful, you know?" I comment playfully and the blonde flipped me off and I just flipped him off back, then kissed the top of Nikki's head "You're gonna do great."
"I hope so."
"You will... you always will."
Nik looked at me and grabbed the hand I had nearest to him then we waited for the other guys to finish up so we could go wait by the stage.
Nikki had issues from his past but his past doesn't define him, his past although important to remember can't be focused on, he has to look to the future, our future, a future which his so called mother isn't apart of. The future is ours a the end of the day and nobody else's.
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A/N: This one definitely sucked, so I'm sorry 😭