TW: Blood, violence
"Your Majesty?"
Ayato looked up from the documents in front of him and heaved a sigh. "Yes?"
Kazuha glanced down at his shifting feet, nervous. It'd been a few days since they'd finally gotten the location of the hostages, and they'd been sending in patrols non-stop. The fortress— for there could be no better word to describe such a place —was a ruin tucked in the forests of Inazuma, extending out onto the coasts. It was named Fort Mumei in the records, notorious for being elusive.
Surrounded by rocks, it was nigh impossible to get close enough to launch some sort of attack from the water. The land side was no better due to its heavily guarded condition. Thick forest provided coverage for the enemy whilst also slowing down anyone who tried to get closer to the stone ruins. All attempts at rescue had failed so far.
"Failed again?" Ayato asked, not bothering to cling to any more hope. The first five attempts had disappointed him enough.
Kazuha nodded solemnly, weaving his fingers together. His eyes widened as Ayato muttered something obscene under his breath, but he said nothing against it.
"We've tried sneaking in, but obviously, that doesn't work," said the king, more to himself than anything. "What about a direct attack?"
"Our manpower is dwindling from these failed attacks. Currently, we may not be able to launch a full-on invasion," replied Kazuha, a regretful expression on his face.
Ayato frowned, tapping a pen on the table distractedly. He'd been receiving an increasing number of anonymous threats. The treasure hoarders were getting as impatient as he.
"You're dismissed, Captain," he told Kazuha, shaking his head.
Had he been paying more attention, he would've noticed the person entering the room as the captain left, but he was too lost in his thoughts. Indeed, he only noticed the presence of another when said person placed a gloved hand on the table.
As Ayato looked up, a deep voice spoke, the power it exuded sending a slight shiver down his spine.
"I have a proposition."
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It was too silent today.
The past few days had been chaos, evident from the disheveled state Childe was in whenever he came in to bring her her measly rations. She'd pried enough to find out that attacks were being launched on wherever she was being held, which brought her some solace. Hopefully, it meant her attempts at communication were successful and that they managed to brand Sara as a traitor in time.
It still shook her a little when she thought of it all. Everything that they'd gone through together, was any of it real? Did anything matter? All the memories she had once treasured, what did they mean now? All of it felt surreal, as if she was a ghost possessing her own body. The days since the truth had landed on her lap were a blur, merging into one mess of entangled thoughts.
Childe hadn't visited her yet, and though she did not have any way of telling the time, something felt off. The routine had surely been interrupted; she was almost certain of it. As she paced the cell, time seemed to twist. At this point, she could no longer tell if her thoughts were rapid-fire, occurring in only a span of a minute, or that time was the quick one. Perhaps it was both, perhaps it was neither, it was an enigma impossible to decipher.
Suddenly, a loud crash interrupted the loop of Kanari's unrelentless pacing. She held her breath, pausing. A hundred thousand possible scenarios flashed through her mind, each one more morbid than the next.
She shook her head, strands of her unkempt hair whipping around her head. Standing still and speculating would not help. Perhaps there had just been some quarrel between the treasure hoarders and Childe, and they knocked something down. That wouldn't be the first time it happened, actually. Multiple times already she'd been stirred by sounds that Childe would later explain to be nothing more than things crashing, or quarrels.
So she waited.
Yet, after what felt like an eternity, no one came. In fact, the sounds of bangs and yells only increased. No matter how she strained her ears, however, she could not understand the muffled shouting. In the moments of brief silence, her mind wandered to the possibilities lurking within her mind.
Gorou and the others.
What had become of them? A little over a week had already passed, and Childe remained tight-lipped on their situation. Obviously, their conditions were worse than hers, but to what extent, she did not know. Surely, they were valuable as well. Their lives would not— could not —just be done away with. She would not allow herself to believe it.
CRASH
A resounding crash mercilessly shattered the silence, shards of peace and tranquility glittering at her feet as shouts consumed the atmosphere. Unable to see what was happening beyond the small stretch of stone corridor through the bars on the door, Kanari could only imagine the situation in her head. Monsters had never been something that was far from her mind's reach, but this time, somehow, they were more horrifying.
Maybe because they were humans.
To realize that your worst fears had faces, and that they were human, might very well be one of the worst things you could experience. Deep down, the feeling of family never dissipates. In this wide world so filled with diversity, humanity is a label that provides shelter and solace for the lost. When those who are considered kin commit heinous acts, no matter how different the person is to the other, the sense of horror remains.
Is it not why we dehumanize? For we fear the way others act. The thought of someone of our own species committing, in our own view, vile acts is so unacceptable that we would rather label them as something other than human. The fact that humans are so outrageously diverse in worldview is terrifying. Thus, we would rather think that those individuals are not humans or are a different kind of humans. "Those are not my people!" you cry, pushing them away.
But the truth is cold and merciless. In the end, we can do nothing but accept the difference within the species that we are.
Her nimble hands pressed against the cold door, Kanari let out a soft sigh. No matter the situation, she would not allow her hope to die out. She could not give up on the life she might be able to create. This fire of faith could not be put out.
Though, as a scream punctuated the air, that was getting a tad harder to believe in.
The entire cell shook, raining bits of grit and dust onto her head. Whatever was happening up there was big. It was no simple argument between treasure hoarders at this rate. If Kanari allowed herself to hope a little more, she'd say it was an attack of sorts, even. The thought of rescue was bliss in the dark little corner she had, but euphoria was a drug she was afraid of getting high on, for once she was afloat in the clouds, the only way down would be to fall.
More screams filled the once silent atmosphere, and faint sounds of metals clashing echoed throughout the corridor. Breathless, she peeked out from her peephole, eagerly awaiting any sign of life. The room shook a few times more, but the physical interruptions barely disturbed her train of thought as it sped across the vast infinity.
Suddenly, the distinct sound of footsteps echoed through the hall, getting louder with each passing second. Though they were muffled by the noises of conflict, the hours Kanari spent straining her ears for this very sound allowed her to identify it with ease. Strangely, the footsteps were not as crisp as they usually were. Instead, they were heavy thumps, slow and strained. At first, she'd thought that whoever was approaching would be Childe, as always, but now she was unsure. Indeed, it now seemed foolish to assume that Childe would come here, when there was calamity up above. As the mysterious person neared, the stench of warm blood wafted into Kanari's cell, filling her with a sickly feeling. She was no stranger to blood, but here in the dark, musty room, the sickly feeling associated with its smell heightened.
Without warning, a bloodied hand suddenly clamped onto one of the bars on her door, making her jump back. Groaning, a figure hauled themselves up, revealing ginger hair and a familiar face.
So it was Childe, after all.
But he was so disheveled it took Kanari a moment before she realized who it was. Dark splotches matted his messy hair, turning it into a red that was multiple shades darker than his usual orange. His eyes were dull, pale imitations of the bright azure they once were. On his still-smiling face were splattered drops of blood, slowly drying into cracked lumps. What Kanari found more unsettling, however, was the crimson tint that decorated his teeth.
"Hey girlie~" he said, the thick scent of blood filling Kanari's nostrils as he opened his mouth to speak.
"What's happening?" She asked once her voice found its way back to her.
Childe laughed, but his laugh was that of a maniac's. It was the deranged laugh of a clown in the circus of life as he laughed at an unamused crowd. "Gods, what is happening, Kanari?"
She didn't know how to respond to such an unhinged remark, so she merely stared at him, slowly inching away from the door. The overall madness that Childe exuded, blood and all, unnerved her.
"I guess now there are two people standing here who know what betrayal feels like," he said, looking downwards. "Isn't it nice that I get to see the only person who I've ever pitied before I die?"
"You won't—" but Kanari couldn't bring herself to finish that sentence. From the way he was hunched, it was obvious he was suffering from some severe wound in the stomach. As immoral as it felt, she had not an ounce of pity for Childe. He kidnapped her, and conducted this mess she'd gotten tangled in. Even if he were bleeding to death in front of her, she could not find the heart to forgive his malice.
"Take this," he muttered, pulling out a keyring with a plethora of keys dangling from it. "You should be able to unlock the door from your side." He slid the keys through the bar and they dropped right into Kanari's waiting hands.
"What are you doing?" She exclaimed, shocked by his strange display of generosity.
"Surprised that your knight in shining armor is little old me?"
She continued gaping at him. "I thought you were loyal to the Tsaritsa!"
Childe only laughed at her remark, flipping his head back to release his mirth while still clutching the bar for support. "I am, but I'm not betraying her, now, am I? Besides, it's a losing battle anyway. I've killed a lot of people and done a lot of bad things, but I can't stomach leaving someone like you down here, even if you'll probably get rescued later."
Kanari widened her eyes, unable to properly process what she was hearing.
"Like I said, you remind me of my sister. You're... different. I've never had a personal agenda with you, Kanari. Despite myself, I don't think I could've died in peace knowing I left you in here. You're worth saving. I can see why the king appointed you his advisor. If there were more people like you, but maybe with less trauma, the world would be a better place." Childe chuckled. "Look at me, wishing for a better world like a kid again. I suppose the dreams you lose always come back to you in the end. I've never been good with this self-analyzing stuff."
Looking back up at Kanari, he smiled. "I suppose I'll go to hell, won't I?"
That being said, he let go of the bar and limped down the hallway in the opposite direction from whence he came. Kanari stood still, listening to her heartbeat as the footsteps slowly faded away. Her breath was impossibly loud against the silence within her room. The rusted keys in her hand felt distant as she turned them over.
Perhaps humans weren't as simple as she'd thought.
Sara was once her friend but then betrayed her. Childe kidnapped her and held her hostage but then freed her. In this world, she realized, there were few that were explicitly good or evil. Even those concepts themselves were blurred, swirling in a spectrum of greys. The black and white world that she was once in was truly nothing but a fantasy, as mythical as oni and tengu. Reality did not have defined borders of morality, instead, it consisted of different shades seeping into another through the lines as they mixed.
Her hands shook as she slowly extracted a key, trying to insert it gently into the keyhole. After multiple failed attempts, the door finally swung open, and light flooded into the cell. Kanari squinted, her eyes unused to the copious amounts of light. Once she'd adjusted to the relative brightness, she took a tentative step out of the room that had caged her. The hallway, lit with lanterns along the sides, was soaked with blood, dark patches of red painting the stone floor. A larger pool lay almost innocently on the ground before her cell door. She craned her neck to the right, her gaze on the trail leading further down the corridor.
The hall turned a corner at the end, so she had no idea where Childe was now, and she wasn't about to find out. No matter what he did, or said, in the end, she could not forgive him. He loved his family dearly, but that was the extent of his love, for he held no remorse for the heinous acts he committed to countless others. The truth was that cruel people were not entirely malicious, with cold hearts incapable of love, as fairytales suggest. They were complex individuals, capable of redemption, but perhaps not entirely deserving of forgiveness,
Shaking Childe from her mind, Kanari raced off to the left, where a stairway awaited her at the end of the corridor. Her grip on the keys was still shaking as she rushed up the stairs, the edges of the metal digging into her palm. The cacophony of the battle echoed in her ears with increasing ferocity as she neared the top.
She emerged from the staircase to find a ruined hall of familiar stone bricks, the walls partially crumbled. Shouts and screams filled the air, accompanied by the metallic sound of weapon on weapon. For a moment, Kanari could do nothing but stand there, mesmerized at her surroundings. A strange feeling engulfed her as she walked through the corridors, filling her with a calmness that should be foreign to the battlefield.
Footsteps and panting breaths made her turn to see a woman with light-blue hair running towards her. What was curious about the lady was the Mondstadt crest on her outfit. What would Mondstadians be doing here in this internal struggle of Inazuma's? Kanari stood still, eyes wide at the sight of the well-built woman rushing towards her. She must've looked like a ghost, standing there perfectly relaxed amidst the chaos happening nearby.
"Are you—"
"Kagayaku Kanari," she responded, before the lady could finish her sentence. From the shocked expression etched on her face, the lady hadn't been expecting to find Kanari here.
"Oh, it's you," she said, scanning Kanari up and down with her eyes that were the color of sunsets. "We've been looking for you. Now that at least one of the hostages have been found, I can take you to the king."
"No," Kanari said, perhaps a little too sharply, for the mysterious Mondstadian raised her eyebrows. "You haven't found the others yet, have you?"
The lady shook her head, eyeing Kanari with interest.
"Then there's something more important you ought to do." She placed the keyring in the lady's hand, earning herself another intrigued look. "I'll find my way around fine, but take these keys and try to find the others. Hopefully, they'll be able to open their cells."
"Alright, if you insist," said the woman, unsheathing a dagger from her belt. "But take this, I have my great-sword, but you need a weapon."
As Kanari received the blade, she took note of the silver embellishments on the hilt, and the sapphires studded between them. A crest of a Mondstadt noble house was engraved on it, which probably meant it was an artifact of sorts, handed down from generation to generation. She faintly recalled from the additional research she did as advisor that the coat of arms was of the Lawrence clan's.
Noticing Kanari's analytical expression, the lady spoke. "Don't worry about breaking it, by the way. It's pretty ancient and all, but it's mine, and as its owner I'd prefer if it helped you and broke rather than just sitting around like a toy in one of my family's display cases."
Curious. A noble with a disregard for ancient collectibles, thought Kanari, turning the dagger between her hands. She nodded solemnly, muttering a 'thank you'.
"The king should be in the main room, continue down the hall and you'll get there," the lady explained, giving her one last look before running off the way Kanari had come.
She followed the instructions, weaving past the boulders and half-collapsed walls until she reached a large room of sorts, absent of a roof. She watched the fight within the room with vague curiosity, as if she were a ghostly spectator observing the turmoil of mortals. Her gaze swept the area until finally, it landed on the person she was looking for.
Complete with his battle uniform and neat blue hair, Ayato waved his prized sword as if he were a conductor, gracefully commanding the tempo of the battle. In that moment, Kanari had never felt so glad to see anyone in her entire life. But she could not rejoice yet, for the fight had not yet come to an end. Though there were few people remaining on the treasure hoarders' side, it was still enough to give Ayato and the other knights fighting a decently hard time.
As he was fighting off two bandits, one snuck up behind him, a blunt knife in hand. As he poised to attack, it was as if time slowed down, and Kanari's body acted of its own accord. She flung the dagger in her hands, the silver creating a graceful arc of light as it flew across the room. For a split second, she feared it would hit Ayato instead, but she needn't have worried.
Her aim had always been impeccable, after all.
It struck deep into the shoulder of the bandit, blood gushing out as he screamed in pain. Having knocked out his other attackers, Ayato turned around to knock the stabbed treasure hoarder down with his elbow. His eyes fell upon the dagger lodged in the bandit's shoulder, and so he looked up, searching for whoever had thrown it.
And thus, their eyes met.
Kanari wasn't sure what really happened in that moment, for all she heard was a clang as Ayato sheathed his sword. One second she was standing there in the corner, still and breathless, the next, her arms were wrapped around Ayato the same way his were around her. She buried her face into his shoulder, panting. Perhaps there were other sounds, of people yelling and the world moving on, but Kanari could not hear them. Her mind could only process the rapid beating of Ayato's heartbeat, and her own ragged breaths.
"There are people watching," he said, after a moment. They both knew that he said that for her sake, and that, Kanari realized, was something she'd have to change.
"I don't care," she responded, and for once, it was nothing but the truth. "I don't care anymore. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I—"
"Don't you dare apologize," whispered Ayato, holding onto her even tighter. "None of this was your fault."
"I was scared, Ayato. I was scared of everything inside me. I don't want to be scared anymore. I love you and I want to continue loving you. Forgive me for taking so long to realize that."
"There's nothing to forgive. I love you too," he responded, his voice strangely choked.
Kanari raised her head. "Ayato?"
To her horror, a shining tear slid down his face as she looked at him. He offered her a smile, like he usually did, but it was nothing but pained.
"Ayato? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"I love you so much."
"Ayato, you're scaring me. Why are you crying?"
"I'm sorry."
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END OF CHAPTER 39