Dinner came through while I was already on my seventh bottle of the night. I tried keeping a level head just so I could enjoy the food, and the way that Dom and Brian cooked that beef was wonderful enough that I had to stop and get something before it runs out. The twins were also able to score a few things quite magically like an old couch, makeshift tables, and for some reason, speakers that blasted rap music. They reeled in the compliments of that while I was sitting on the stairs, trying to inhale food when it seemed as if I'd forgotten to consume anything but beer and cigarettes since coming here.
"They're on the move." Curse blew right out of my mouth as soon as Mia spoke. I was barely halfway through my food but I had to let go of it the minute Dom began rounding us up and tasking us to follow the cars. The CCTV picked up a movement near the second cash house and we immediately have to move and watch out for the others, while I was attempting to ride with Brian like initially planned since I didn't have my own yet-a car stopped in front of me before I could even cross the way, and the daunting look in his face told Brian it wasn't his lucky day.
I had a choice, either I ignore him and jump over the hood, make this considerably harder and slower for all of us. Or, get there as fast as we can and suck it up. Time was the biggest factor of all so I grunted loud, opened the door in one swipe, and hopped in-banging it closed in the process. The car immediately screeched out and we all took different ways and began driving around the city with full precaution.
I lost the ability to breathe well when I could physically feel him beside me. The car was smaller on the inside than I expected, and the proximity was killing my insides so I had to pull up a cigarette and light it in between my lips to help me calm down. It wasn't difficult to look away, but what made it incredibly intolerable was the way he was sighing every minute as if he wanted to say something to me but couldn't. And I really hope he wouldn't. I'd like to think that there are things in this world better left alone-"You know, Violet, you could've at least given me the courtesy of letting me know you're married."
"Would you have easily believed me when I say I'm not?" I heard him huff, glancing briefly and watching his hands curl aggressively on the steering wheel.
"I know what I did to you but-what the hell?" The frustration in his voice ache my chest but I willed myself away, finding we're close to the cash house and that Han had already stopped a few feet away from men loading a truck with big bags. One was carrying a gun while on the lookout so we had to lower ourselves down a bit while I slowly pulled the safety of my own gun, just in case. It was a slightly bigger cash house than the others so it was taking five men some time to load everything up, which consecutively made me shiver from the thought that it's so much money, in one lifetime, for only one person. "What happened, Vi?"
"We have work to do. Keep your eyes on the car, they're almost done." I finally mumbled, feeling a lump on my throat at the same time.
"I wasn't going to make the same fucking mistake, Violet." Damn it.
"They're moving. Let's go."
I didn't watch him as he started the car, and as he drove a few vehicles back to make sure we don't raise suspicion. We just followed it around as it cruised over the dark city and stopped when it made a much unexpected turn. Consecutively, Tej's voice blared on the radio, "I know you all said they were consolidating the money somewhere, but, ya'll ain't gonna believe this."
We received a location where we could gather discreetly to see the kind of basket we've been handed with and it was at the top of this old building that looked sketchy at most.
We went inside and I realized it was a hotel. Gloomy and almost empty but when we got there, it seems everyone minded their own business and didn't look for longer than 3 seconds when we passed by and went through. The elevator was the brightest thing in the place and I was relieved to get inside and push the door close, almost forgetting who I was with when I glanced to my right and saw Han was fixated on the elevator door with our blurry figure a few feet away from each other. I was grateful for what little relief it offered, though I wasn't so sure if it was from his utter silence or that we're inside a slow elevator, just the two of us, surrounded by nothing else than this. Maybe I was losing my shit, but that idea seemed better to grasp than admitting I was just as soft as I was the first time around.
I tried to brave through it, honestly, but as my eyes flickered towards our reflection, there was a twinge of movement from him that made me nervous. Not because I fear what he's going to do-but because I knew whatever it may be, I might not be able to hold myself back from the hole I dug myself at the moment I left that party, the moment I left him and didn't look back. I clenched my jaw tight, closed my eyes, and hoped the elevator just practically fly upwards because I'm a fool, and I knew.
I knew I didn't really go far when I felt his fingers brush over mine.
I knew I was falling over the edge, with nothing to hold on to as he tried to intertwine our fingers together.
And I got out immediately the moment the elevator door opened.
My chest ached in all the wrong places the minute I went out and was welcomed by fresh air and the sight of Brian standing by the roof deck door, hands over his back from what seemed like a hidden weapon just in case. He knew, when Han walked ahead without another look, and I wasn't in a place of denial when I was obviously being vulnerable in front of the man that had only seen me break down once. As soon as Han was out of earshot, Brian came down and offered a hand that I desperately accepted.
"I'd rather get shot in the shin than do that again." Brian laughed as he helped me up from where I sat on the floor and we tread towards the deck where the rest have been gathered, looking at the said basket that ran cold shivers down my spine.
"Well, this job just got a lot harder." Brian said as we looked across a goddamn police station. I'd expected the gold to be buried somewhere deeper than six feet, but to be in a fort, quite literally, was an overreaction that we can't really afford. I've never in my life wanted to attempt to break into somewhere we won't be able to break back out.
"If he's moving it into a police station he's got some serious brass in his pocket." Pearce said, already so much doubt in his tone.
"Hell, yeah, we can't do this." One of the twins muttered, Tego.
"Can't? You mean, shouldn't." said the man I refused to even look at again after that.
"I think this doesn't change a thing. I say we stick to the plan." Dom was dripping with confidence that I didn't really expect less. I knew whatever happens to this mission, we've started it-we end it no matter what.
"You say what? This just went from Mission: Impossible to Mission: In-freaking-sanity. Whatever, man. I ain't scared, I am just letting you all know, going in that building is crazy!" Pearce walked away with one of his daily tantrums and I was glad we're able to part ways for the day.
However, Rio isn't exactly the best place to go around carelessly even though we're beyond laws and I could defend myself with the gun lying undisturbed in my holster. I don't feel confident knowing Reyes' men are on a hunt and we've rung a few dinner bells on the way, so I had to think real hard about what I was going to do to escape-"Hi, I saw you a while ago and thought I could talk to you if I saw you again. And I did!" A woman's cheery voice echoed in the dark lobby and I looked up, finding a woman that looked like a tourist with a suitcase trailing behind, was talking to Han quite chirpily at this time of night, and despite being wildly aware of who I am and what I want, despite my grown age and how I hold myself firm with my decision, I still felt that growing rage at the back of my neck, burning my insides, making me irritable and angry.
I knew I was doing the right thing so we wouldn't hurt each other more than we already have, but why the hell does it feel so fucking wrong?
Why the hell does it feel like I want to stroll up there and do something stupid?
We reached out back and discreetly began leaving one by one so as to not rouse suspicion being that we're still a few walks away from the station and we're not out of the woods until my eyes stopped seeing blue. I saw the man I knew I shouldn't even be foolishly looking at, "See ya later." nodding at the girl as she waved her hand and went back in. Han entered his car, and against my will shouting bloody murder at my head to not do anything I'll regret immediately-I rounded behind his car and entered the passenger seat. I didn't say anything, words wouldn't suffice to describe why I did what I did anyway, but I heard him breathe out and the car went off the way while I battled jumping out and risking a bad fall.
He didn't drive fast, just enough to reach the hideout where he stopped the car just a few feet away from the driveway. I lit up a cigarette to calm my nerves because I was so numb from what I've done, and what I'm still doing.
Staying.
"You can't do both, red." I would've asked what he meant just to play dumb, but I didn't have to. "You can't push me away like nothing and pull back when you just want to." I inhaled, holding the smoke in to feel it linger and burn on my throat before letting it out with a sigh. "Let me know once you've decided to trust me this time." He got up and went out, but saw him walk backward and turned to my side of the window, ducking his head down and making me utterly weak, "And for the record, I wasn't going anywhere with anyone else but your dumb ass."
Despite it all, I was man enough to admit the little smirk he did make my heart crawl out of my chest and physically put me in a chokehold, blurring my decision, and igniting my need to make more mistakes like it.
I don't know what I want anymore, and that's more dangerous than being hunted down by half of Rio's population.